Ashi

I think you guys answers are still too high up in the level in Maslow's hierarchy of needs. I also agree with using Maslow's famous pyramid structure as starting point, but being working in some work which made me felt like modern day slaves and watching homeless people walking about, and beginning to think of myself as the next homeless person, and how I would live when I was in that situation, I can tell you arguing about processed food or natural food is something that would enter the mindsets of the privileged. Anyways, back to the main topic, which MIMR asked. This is by no mean the absolute answer.... Life has no template, there is no formula, and most of the time, you just do some ad-lib patchwork rather some neatly designed framework you'd like to believe. There is no such thing as the grand design.... World is meaningless and pointless intrinsically, but you can make a meaning out of it, if that's your desire. I know a lot of people play some pointless games and they enjoyed it. Lots of people are making money, but they don't know why. Does it matter if you figured out why? Does it matter why you're born gay, instead of just accepting it as the way it is? Anyways, let's go to the absolutely bottom level. By the way, moral/ethics is something very high level, so I don't know why you said this person was taught some basic skills and then mentioned that abstract human concept, but that's beside the point, but you need to aware of that..., many people, who think they're sophisticated and civilized, in fact, do NOT have moral/ethics in their mindset. It's not part of surviving skill. It's not hard coded into our brain/spine, etc.. It's something introduced through education, and it's ethnocentric (each culture has their own accepted ethics/moral values). Animals are amoral. When a human being is down to survival mode, he/she is also functioning on amoral mode. A recent post on porn star is a good post for pondering, because most porn stars are living on their surviving mode. Moral/ethics/social convention has no value in such circumstance. In fact, I think moral/ethics is a confounding factor in the probability of survival rate. I am not advocating one should be immoral/amoral/unethical, but it's a food for thought. If you haven't watched Hitchcock's "Rope" I advise you watch it. It touches on how human beings can interpret philosophy in some way they like, even when it's wrong to fulfill one's wants (I am talking about how Leopold and Loeb misinterpreted Superman Theory to their own delusional mindsets). It has to do with human morality and how fragile it can be. Okay, I am off tangent again.... Let's start programming training this person you hypothetically invented (*grunts*), so you, I mean this hypothetical person, who I think it's actually not too far off the path of normalcy can feel confident about living in a dysfunctional big city instead of Ohio a stranded island. So let's assume that person understood Maslow's (which I don't think every civilized person is actually exposed to it...), and I'll give him a copy of Flowers for Algernon so he would realize intelligence has nothing to do with one's success and happiness. Day One: Learn "smile and the world will smile with you." If you want to work as a retail clerk and can't smile, your customers are going to give you tough time. Boss will be bossy and he will still have to smile. Learn to sleep everywhere, eat anything, learn to be happy amidst of hardship. The person needs to know it's no longer about quality, but whether you have it or don't have it. Cardboard burger is still carbs.... It's subsistence to life. Day Two: Learn to forgive those jerks who trespassed against him. He is living in a civilized world now..., and that's what civilized people do..., taking advantage of each other.... He needs to learn how to communicate through some "misunderstandings." Realize some of those jerks are have-nots and their lives are empty. We forgive them, even when we don't feel like it, or it's going to be a tough life ahead. Day Three: Sometimes rude and crude people get their way, some people actually fought hard for their success. Learn it's not our place to judge or be jealous. Success people are not always jerks, sometimes they worked very hard to become who they're, behind the scene, but became self-righteous in the process. They're learning how to be human like everyone else, even when they're born in a world that appears to be more sophisticated or privileged. Learn we'll still be the same humble person when we're successful. Day Four: Take a hobby. Learn how to use Internet to make friends. Be confident. I think having some confident actually can make others feel confident in you.... Okay, this hypothetical person..., who am I kidding, it's about you, isn't it? Come on, you're okay. You're actually quite on schedule. At 24 years of age, it's normal to have mid-twenty crisis and have some doubt. The hard part is actually get started. Once it's started, everything will just move in place naturally. BTW, if you look like your photo, you remind me of an YouTube celebrity called Davey Wavey, and he is really cocky.... LOL. He always talks like he is the most attractive person in the world and does he flame! I personally prefer Original Tyler. Okay, off-tangent. The point is, have some confidence in yourself. Don't you already have a boyfriend? You're already better off than me.... Why do you even need people's advice? If I had a boyfriend, I would be conquering the world with my BF already! You just need some encouragement. You're perfect normal. Day Five: Learn to love self and others.

Actually I watched a documentary called "Everything You Wanted to Know about Gay Porn Stars" and found some of these people's lives are fascinating. Some may just be trying to get attention, and a couple of them I think they're just jerks, but some of them really have very depressing lives. Some got duped into the business (one lost his virginity through gay porn, that stinks), some just had to make a living. One guy I remember vividly was a guy who was an English major, and couldn't make his way as a writer. Amidst of his slum of his life, he sort of just didn't care it all, so he became a porn star, I guess sort of self-punishment or something. But I got the impression he felt his life was even worse after he took the wrong turn. One guy was also going through such traumatizing experience, but he always pretended he was happy throughout the interview, but this guy was just really depressed and depressing whenever he was on screen. I almost felt I wanted to take him home and take good care of him..., except I couldn't take good care of myself either..., and I have my own share of problems.... But I think he really really need some love, except he only had sex.... Anyways, the point I brought this up is because some of the porn stars seem to be good, normal people, but just having some bad stroke of luck. It's admirable some of them, even despite of their unfortunate existence, they still found some way to bring positivity to people they care.... I've lived on this world long enough to see some of the stuff happening in this world is kind of sad and sometimes sick.... How could you judge someone based on their career, which may not even be something they choose to do?

Very nice. Congrats. :-)

Happy birthday.

To 13 year-old self: Don't try to conquer the world, because at the end it doesn't matter. Everything you want will end up vaporized, no matter how hard you try. Just be a silly kid. That way you'll have a childhood.

I can't make my mind about favorite color thingy. When I was a small kid, it's red. Every boy said they liked blue, but to me it's always red. Red is the color of passion and blood. Blue was just too boring for me. When I was a teenager, it's green. I liked things neutral. Then things became confusing after that.... I have plenty of purple stuff lately. Green and red are still stable colors, match them with brown and white.

I used to watch a lot of animes. Not lately though. It might show my age if I speak of the name of the animes I watched....

Chinese sign is Horse, zodiac sign is Taurus According to the quiz, I am a Wolverine. It says, "Nobody messes with Wolverines. You're fearless, assertive (okay, aggressive), and tenacious. You might be a Marine, or a middle linebacker. You're the best at whatever you choose to do, because you give yourself no alternative." (Totally not me...) If I could choose, I'll be a house cat. Being able to purr is nice, and they do seem to have some orgasmic nerves on their spines and chins. But I don't want to cough up hair balls all the time... I used to like squirrels, until they go materialistic on me.... They're pretty smart for sure. I also like horses, but one day a horse go materialistic on me also. All she cared was I feed her, and that's why she pretended to be friendly. I ended up giving her my furrowed brows for a long time, because I don't usually talk to animals when we first met. I used to talk to my late cat, because I knew he'd understand what I was saying. To stranger animals, it's kind of weird..., though some of them do seem to understand (or have the ability to learn) human language..., but most of them do understand body language. Even to this day I kind of sick of the sight of a gold colored horse. But I guess there is always a bad seed in all animal breeds. Sometimes I want to be a tree, so I can photosynthesize. But a tree is not an animal....

Oh gosh, the air really smells foul here. I hope it's not me.... I am pretty sure I didn't just fart.... Anyways, Mr. Asam, here is the $5 money back. Wait..., you didn't actually pay me. Doesn't matter anyways, I am pretty sure you can find someone else other than Marky.... Though seriously I think you're a little too aggressive.... I think I'll run the other way if someone does that to me.... Anyways, you'll get another chance. You're still young. Besides, the next guy might be closer to you. Long distance relationship never works anyways. And Marky.... Oh, Marky, oh Marky.... I suppose you're still young. (*sighs*) The Mark who stared at my lips all the time didn't say anything to me either, but I didn't say anything like you did to him either.... Remember the saying "assume makes an ass out of u and me." Sometimes things will just slowly die off by itself. I think Mr. Asam is hurt. It was badly done, Emma.... Badly done.

My condolence.

I don't know him personally, but still wish he would recover soon.

Not a subtle hint.... Not even remotely subtle. LOL. You can draw all the pictures of an ideal soul mate all you like, the one you eventually fall for sometimes is not what you had in mind, so forget about the guy must be older than you. I had that mentality before, (though not that big of a gap in age), but that's just not the way it goes when sparks actually happens (though they're definitely more mentally mature than me). Oh..., nobody can handle heartbreak that well.... No matter how they appears on the outside. If they didn't get hurt, maybe they didn't love.... So anyways, what I am saying is, there is no obligation to buy unless you tried. Not sure if that's a nice analogy. LOL Okay, Mr. Asam, you owe me $5 for that recommendation. ;-) Just kidding. As long as you guys happy....

Let's me give a little story. Once upon a time, there was this reserved boy who treated romantic love quite seriously. He met this guy at work, then they just be with each other more and more often. The co-worker one day took him to a small Mexican place for dinner; the kind some flies visit once a while, and was told not to double dip the salsa, because it's not polite for the next customers. The co-worker told him, "This is real Mexican, not place like Taco Bell." To the boy it sounded like, "This is my world, you don't have to like it." The boy wanted to tell him their worlds weren't that far apart, but he didn't. He enjoyed the dinner; perhaps a bigger surprise to the co-worker than the boy. To the shy boy, it struck him that being with someone could be this natural. As days gone by, they spent more time together. They've watched movie together, the boy didn't do anything. The boy saw the guy playing hockey (and him in jock strap in locker room...), but he didn't make a move. One day the co-worker just said to him, "I am sorry, but I am not gay." Then in the middle of confusion and hurtful feeling, the boy figured out what they had together was. It was something hard to let go of. Moral of the story, it's okay to say you like hot linguiça (he is of Portugese heritage you see...), if that's how you feel. You're not the only candy store around, so some will just shop around if your price tag is too high. Not saying you should just completely put out and start whoring..., just sayin'.... Yep, I am the cure for homosexuality.... My special ability. "Who spoke (about) Asian?" or something like that? I think kikimashta (inquiring/asking) might make more sense than iimashita, but then I am not native speaker. *giggles* Remember the candy analogy....

I WISH!!! But in reality, I thought every guy I had a crush on I turned them straight.... I bet church leaders love me as the cure for homosexuality. I am more popular among girls (and married women), which is such a cruel joke.... Yeah, Filipino Mark's rock. I met that Mark one more time after I quit that job. He was still the same guy I used to know and still talked like he was this close to ask me out on a date, but for some reason he didn't. Honestly I was on pseudo listening mode when i met him, because I kept thinking he had a girlfriend (though he never mentioned that to me directly), and he was younger than me, so I kind of didn't want him to be interested in me (I had my heart broken before with guys turned out to be straight and listened to too many horror stories of guys fell in love with married men...). So now I think of it, maybe I had my chance to turn him gay. LOL! Nah, you can't turn anyone gay or turn them straight.... The ideal first date could be some homemade Chinese cooking as well. Just an idea. Why everyone thinks I am on a diet! Even my mother says, "You eat like a girl." What's wrong with eating just the right amount?

It's not hard to cook Chinese, if you have the know how.... That sounds wrong for some reason.... Anyways, that Mississippi spelling comment reminds me of my early experience when I came to this country (that was like 20+ years ago, when I was still young...). An Indian (or at least from Indian sub-continent) schoolmate asked me how to spell Mississippi. Most peculiar conversation starter.... Like a proper lady, I let him spell it for me because it's pretty obvious he just wanted to impress (hmm..., does my homosexual tendency developed as early as that? Probably just the latent stage). Then he did it like a spelling bee champion. I just said, "Oh." Followed by awkward silence. The guy is handsome and smart, you got to give him credit for that, just too short.... As for buffet on your first date.... Sighs. I don't wanna gain 10 pounds after first date! On the plus side, you can feed your date with all the drumsticks you like.... (also sounds awfully wrong) Your photo reminds me of a guy I used to work with. His name was also Mark, also Phillipino. I always thought he had a crush on me, because the way he talked to me (staring at my lips as if he wanted to take a nibble on them), though people said he had a girlfriend. (insert awkward silence)

Congrats to everyone who graduates, and hope some of you graduate from no-boyfriendhood. :-) (I am serious!)

Does that mean you would do a straight girl? Hmm.... Anywayz.... I love CIA's stories also. Just a +1.

Yes, you're right on your guess. The others just don't quite understand. I am just on Plan B, because the right guy is gone forever. No matter who I meet now, that guy will always be second best at best. How's that fair? No, it's not fair to anybody. Doesn't mean I will not try to love the guy or give him some comfort for the comfort he gives me. I certainly hope whoever that unlucky guy is would enjoy home cooking, because that's something I could do. We could entertain each other, but that's not love. I hope I didn't sound too self-aborbed. I certainly sounded like that. Telling someone you love him though you don't really maybe is just another kind of caring.... I am pretty sure whoever that unlucky guy is would eventually figure out I don't love him. I am usually attracted to smart guys. If he is really smart, and I hope he is, I think we both would just leave the matter unspoken and enjoy the rest of our lives together. We could certainly be content together, but that's not love. You never make sense to me. You remind me of a friend I had, but when he picked on me, it was funnier. I hope you'll meet someone you truly love. Then let me know if you really believe in what you just said afterward. I'll keep that book in mind. One reason this topic popped into my brain was actually because I was reading into the mind of Sue Bridehead from Jude the Obscure. She was really making a fool out of herself marrying someone she didn't love, then changed her mind and lived together with her cousin Jude (her true love, by the way...), then hurt him also, then almost like a punishment to herself, she returned to her legal husband..., which of course, hurt Jude deeper than she could imagine. I didn't want to write this because I felt it was too academic, to compare my own life with a fiction.... But your last quote is funny. BTW, when I said comfort, I didn't mean sex.... I don't mind some people aren't built for marriage (*looking at Jamessavik's general direction*). But I don't want to be alone. I think it's more like I want to be purposeful. I want to be that someone's reason to return home to. I think I am sounding more self-absorbed by the minute.... Anyways.... What would you do if you met the guy you believe it's "the one", but you missed your chance, and then you put your dignity before love? Maybe having some self-respect is important, but I don't feel I am happier. What is love (according to me): I spent some thought on what is love after I posted my response. I remember the question Eric asked her mom (in Edge of Seventeen) something like how do you know you're in love, and I think his mom said something like, "When you think about somebody so much, it hurts." Well, today when I was driving, I thought, "When you're with someone you love, you look forward to live another day." That's how the guy I loved and hurt me so much made me feel. Everyday was absolutely a wonderful day.

Umm..., rather interesting remark. I believe W's diplomatic mishaps might have a more widespread and longer lasting effect than the Duke's. However, since you're not an American, you're pardoned. I think you mistaken Jonathan Rhys-Meyers for a royalty.... I don't mean to contradict you, but he is more likeable in Velvet Goldmine, which is not much better. I suspect he was just being himself in Vanity Fair....

What if a werewolf was bitten by a vampire...? What would happen?

You what??? But I guess if it's consensual it's not really Rpe.... Please tell me you didn't....

That's how I had always been feeling until lately when things begin to feel clear as mud. I have seen some straight marriage that's the result of compromise, and they rarely end happily (I rarely intervene unless the sky is about one second from collapsing, but against my better judgement I did in this case before she made the obvious mistake. When she decided to divorce, after the cost has been substantial, with kids and everything, this time I shut up completely). Then there is my life. I had a chance to put myself out but I didn't..., because I thought I had dignity and some chips in hand. But I guess now when I am older, and still alone, I realized in reality, I have nothing (and probably never had to begin with). I think my romantic life is messed up. I know everything you're trying to say, except I don't believe in changing the other person to become "perfect." I accept everyone has some fault. The guy made me realized that was the one who messed up my feeling the most. I think I abandoned quite a bit of my principals to slowly accept him (it was not a love on first sight, not from me anyways). Then something happened that made us apart, but I couldn't forget (I was really happy when I was with him, and I think that's how he could also make me feel so devastating). That's the guy I love the most. Since it looks like we could never be together, so I am okay to settle for someone I don't really love that much, so I don't get hurt again, I guess.... Sometimes I have trouble understand myself. Maybe I am not being objective about myself. That's why I need advice, right? Yes, I can commit to someone. I am the settle down type ever since I was a kid. I like the feel there is a home to come back to, and someone who appreciates the foods I make. That's all I care for. Maybe that's my problem.

That was just a joke. To reference the gay-bashers are actually gay people themselves. It's suppose to be somewhat funny, but this type of joke never works I guess.... Anyways, "multi-faceted" <pedantry_mode_on/>. I did go read your story and some poems, so I guess whatever you were trying to do works. LOL.

Weird question isn't it? I know for straight couples, marry for material comfort has existed for millenia probably, but would this supposedly degradation to the sanctity of marriage eventually spread to homosexual marriage once it is widely accepted and no longer requires both consenting adults to fight so hard to get it? The reason I am asking this question... (*sighs*), okay not the most difficult thing to guess, I was considering it earlier today. Not necessarily for material comfort, but for mutual comfort, maybe just for companionship, the kind that has no sexual attraction. Obviously, the other person is not just any friend, but someone significant enough to tell everyone he's my partner, and someone okay to share the rest of the life with (obviously someone I could trust enough). I am the kind who is very brainwashed by romantic novels that marriage must be out of love. I must say I surprise myself for even considering it (or maybe I am really getting old). I just want to know if it's wrong to marry someone in this manner, where you have to say you love someone (so his feeling isn't hurt) but you don't mean it... in a romantic way. So I would like to hear some answers. Probably not an easy question to answer honestly, as we all have some sort of romantic ideal that we would rather believe that's unshakable....

Oh, whatever. It's one of the biggest fur cons in the nation, so I think many of them might be from out of state, like from Montana, for example. Oh, come on, I think you might be a closet furry, that's why so much furry-phobia going on.