At St. Peter's Catholic Church in Toronto, they have weekly husband's marriage seminars.
At the session last week, the priest asked Giuseppe, who said he was approaching his 50th wedding anniversary, to take a few minutes and share some insight into how he had managed to stay married to the same woman all these years.
Giuseppe replied to the assembled husbands, 'Wella, I'va tried to treat her nicea, spenda money on her, but besta of all is, I tooka her to Italy for the 25th anniversary!'
The priest responded, 'Giuseppe, you are an amazing inspiration to all the husbands here! What you are planning for your wife for your 50th anniversary?'
Giuseppe proudly replied, " I gonna go pick her up."
A Lucky Man
A man goes to the doctor feeling very ill. The doctor checks him over
and says,
“I'm Sorry, I have some bad news, you have Yellow 24, a really nasty
virus. It's called Yellow 24, because it turns your blood yellow and
you usually only have 24 hours to live. There's no known cure, so just
go home and enjoy your final precious moments on earth.”
So he trudges home to his wife and breaks the bad news. Distraught, she
asks him to go to the bingo with her that evening as he's never been
there with her before.
They arrive at the bingo and with his first card he gets four corners
and wins £50.
Then, with the same card, he gets a line and wins £350.
Then he gets the full house and wins £1000.
Then the National Game comes up and he wins that as well - winning
£400,000!
The bingo caller gets him up on stage and says, “Son, I've been here 20
years and I've never seen anyone win four corners, a line, the full
house and the National Game on the same card. You must be the luckiest
man on Earth!”
“Lucky?” the bloke screams, “Lucky? I'll have you know I've got Yellow
24.”
“F*** me,” says the bingo caller, “You've won the raffle as well!”