AFriendlyFace

Not at all Kitty, I sincerely did appreciate the concern, and you raised many valid points I hadn't really thought of before. I'm a worrier, so I'm very understanding of people expressing concern, and I usually appreciate it. Anyway thanks again

Hey Shadows! I hope this year is unbelievabley great for ya! Happy Birthday!

Hey Kitty! Thanks for the concern I really appreciate it . Don't worry though, the pool I went to is indoors, there's always a lifeguard on duty, and the entire lane thing I wasn't deep enough for me not to be able to stand up. I'm not sure how the other lanes or set up, but really I have a feeling the whole thing is shallow, it's for people to pracitice doing laps and stuff. lol thanks for the compliment, but don't worry I've still got plenty of vices to work on lolol. Anyway thanks again and have an awesome day! Kevin

Hey Bev! Thanks, for the tips. I may have to take lessons, I had fun but I definitely didn't seem to be "getting it" that quickly....On the other hand I think it coulda been worse, I think I'll try to practice a little more first. Yep I did much better with floating on my back than anything else. I kinda even swam on my back I guess you could say. I mean I was floating there, and I started moving my arms and legs in such a way as to propel myself to the other side of the pool, so I guess it was swimming, I just don't think it was a real "stroke" or anything. I tried some diving but I didn't have goggles and I couldn't see underwater. Anyway thanks and have an awesome day! Kevin

Woo Hoo! glad you finally found it! LOL don't feel bad, twice in my life I can remember looking for something for like a half hour only to discover it was IN MY HAND......actually one of the two times I was looking for something with someone else and it turned out to be in his hand ......anyway it's often right under your nose

Hey Slaveboy! I'm glad your life is going well right now, you deserve it And that's awesome about that OTM boy, I hope it works out! Best of luck and take care! Kevin

Oh Nick, I'm so sorry you've been having a rough time. I wish there was something I could do to make you feel better. First off though I want to tell you that there's no way YOU could have ruined anything. Aside from the fact that I'm sure your parents loved you very much. And the fact that all the events good or bad were meant to be. There's the simple fact that you had nothing to do with you being born, and even very little to do with what happened when you were a baby/small child. I'm also willing to bet your dad wouldn't have wanted it any other way. As for the fact that your dad doesn't want to talk about alot of stuff. Well I agree with you that you have a right to know, but maybe your dad isn't comfortable talking about. It might be very painful for him to talk about, and maybe he does feel like he's trying to protect you. As far as how your mom would view you today, I bet she'd be very proud of you! You're a wonderful person, and I bet if the fact that your dad fell in love with her, and the general attitude of the rest of your family are any indication, she'd have been very supportive of you. I mean homophobic people don't typically come from accepting circumstances and visa-versa. Anyway I really wish there was something I could do to make you feel better, and try to remember that your family loves you very much, and I'm sure your mom did too. Wish Taylor a happy birthday for me, and I can't wait to read the next chapter of your story! I'll be sure to leave a comment. Take care and I hope you feel better soon. Kevin

Are conservatives less likely to frig? Or just less likely to be honest about it?

LOL well the mother idea is a good one,,,,,but it does seem a little needy for me to call her up and have her drive an hour and a half just fold my sheets . Besides Viv, Sharon, and Snow's way really isn't that hard now that someone's told me

Well at the risk of my ignorance showing, I must say it never occured to me that it might be anything but yellow. I guess I shoulda realized the plant itself might not be yellow, but frankly I hadn't. BTW saffron rice is delicious!

So it's not going perfectly, but I gotta say I think I'm doing better with my New Year's resolutions than I usually do. I resolved to: 1)Basically quit drinking except in very safe social situations. I mean I never thought I was drinking excessively, heck I think I only got drunk three times all of last year. I guess what was concerning me was that I really got to the point that I'd crave a margarita a couple of times a week, and if no one wanted to get one with me, I got to the point I'd just make myself one at home. I mean I don't think it was that bad, I wasn't drinking to escape anything, I just really like the suckers, and have the general attitude of "fine, if you don't want to do X with me, I'll just do it by myself" (I really like that I don't rely on other people to do something I want to do)....anyway I guess I just wanted to head off any potential problems. Results: haven't had a drop. 2)Cut back on chocolate. I try to eat a healthy diet, but I'm a shameless chocoholic. I guess I primarily wanted to cut back because diabetes runs in my family and I don't want to get myself hooked on something which could cause problems later. Also while I'm pretty average in weight (probably a little slimmer than most guys actually, 30 inch waist); I could still stand to drop a few pounds so cutting back on chocolate couldn't hurt. Results: Blah, not so hot, I've probably only gone COMPLETELY chocolate free like 2 or 3 days out of the past 11. BUT I have CUT BACK, and also I had to eat all the presents people got me (well except for that watch ). Anyway I'm going to keep trying to gradually cut back until I've got it licked. 3) I didn't actually resolve to start running daily, but I pretty much have. SO yay! and I think my diet has been better (and it was already healthier than most people I know in real life anyway ....except for the chocolate, we're just not gonna mention the chocolate. ). Anyway I've definetly been getting more fiber and protein and less sodium and sugar. So I also pretty much wanted to start living a fuller life etc. (see previous entries). I think that's actually going pretty well. I've still been making an effor to learn something new every day, to mix up my routine, and to worry less. In fact tomorrow I'm planning on going swimming! I can't wait, it's so exciting. It's basically feels just like the ice skating thing, I just hope it goes it well! Anyway I'm determined. Even if I do suck at it, I'm not giving up till I've got it, and I'm sure I'll enjoy it (I mean I've always enjoyed playing in the water :king: ), So I'm going to try to keep doing it too. And I'm also thinking after I finish that tomorrow, I'm going to call a friend of mine and see if I can get in some ice skating too....... I really don't feel comfortable with anyone I KNOW being there while I try to swim. I know it's stupid, but while I didn't feel like a doik (my own word ) for not being able to ice skate, I definitely do for not being able to swim. Also I'm really self-conscious about appearing bad at something most people can do well, so I'm thinking I need to practice alone for awhile before I let anyone see me. Heck I'm doing good to be going just knowing there'll be strangers there. BTW any swimming tips would be greatly appreciated. I'm hoping to just kinda do it instinctively (and from what little memory I have of doing it as a small child), but some pointers would be great. Like what do I do with my legs? Just paddle them? Or do I like kick hard while "reaching" with the corresponding arm? Anyway I'm going to run to the store and see if I can get some new swim trunks,,,,I have two old pairs, but they're both a little big, and I'm already going to be trying NOT to draw attention to myself, I don't think suddenly switching to skinny dipping would help very much .....though actually on a side note, I'm more comfortable with being naked from the waist down, than the waist up anyway. So the embarrassment would be purely social lol. Anyway take care all and have an awesome day! Kevin

Hey Matt, I'm really sorry I haven't been online much the last couple of days. You know ya got me scared up now. Smile for me ok? Besides who could I debate "context" with but you. I'll call ya tomorrow/this afternoon, promise you'll CALL ME if you need to talk or anything before (or after) then. Take care, Dude! Kevin

Thanks for the tips Sharon. I've just recently started eating peanut butter (LOL in my life I've probably had less than 20 peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, but it's growing on me). I like eggs, but find I never eat them before they go bad (just like strawberries, I love strawberries, but they invariably rot on me), I think I just like them quite a bit every once in a while. I LOVE seafood! I don't like it fried (which sucks since that's pretty much the perfered method around here), but I love it prepared pretty much any other way! And pretty much all seafood, fish, shrimp, crab, lobster, crawfish (a local delicacy) whatever. But yeah I was referring to going seafood free too. It just works out that several days a week I realize I haven't had any meat or fish lol, I think because all my favorite foods are the traditional "sides" or deserts of a meal. But yeah good point about the fish, I love them, I should make it a point to buy some fresh fish a couple nights a week and whip something up. Thanks Sumbloke, I do like lentils and am trying to learn to eat more beans, peas I just don't care for. I LOVE tofu, and pretty much any soy product actually. I always get the soy milk (mostly because it lasts so much longer and I don't drink milk often), Edamame is one of my favorite appetizers, and there's just something I really love about the texture of tofu. LOL I could definitely go out of my to include more soy. Greek and mediterranean food is definitely one of my favorites, and I'm crazy about pitta bread, interestingly though, I really don't care that much for hummous (LOL at Restaurants I always ask them to substitute extra salad, rice, or grecian sauce). And you're so right about brown rice, I tried to get used to it but I really don't like that much. Also your diet sounds great. Though I probably will continue to enjoy fish and foul from time to time, I always try to avoid processed food too. Dairy I pretty much like, particularly cheese and yogurt (of course those are processed....I guess I mean I try to avoid packaged, froozen, canned, boxed, or in general perservative filled foods). Anyway thanks for the tips you two, take care and have an awesome day! Kevin

Well that's a complicated question for me. Personally I'm rather anti-drugs, I always have been, and have never tried an illegal (unless you count drinking underage). My disapproval for drugs only got stronger after witnessing some bad effects it's had on some people I've known. However, it makes me look rather hypocritcal, but I don't have a problem with the characters drinking. I did drink a pretty good bit in High School (certainly alot more than I did in college), and was usually pretty safe with it, and just had a good time. Weed is a special sorta case. Over the years I've come to think of it more on a par with alcohol than other illegal substances, and as such I don't react as strongly against it. Most people I know who've used/use weed seem to be very similar to people who drink; most just enjoy it but aren't obsessed, some have tried it and don't like it, some are addicted. So while I would have been very bothered if you'd had the characters snorting coke or something, I wasn't as upset about the weed; though I did find Owen sexier till he did it (but I pretty much got over it anyway). Though if you want me to be perfectly honest, I would say it seemed like it was presented in a fairly positive light in TLW. I mean Owen, Aiden, and Ryan were highly likeable characters, nothing bad did happen to them, and everything turned out pretty well. Also Owen's brothers (also cool dudes) seemed to implicitly support it. Anyway getting to the point, it didn't personally bother me that much because I'm not THAT closed minded about weed, a different drug would have bothered me more. Do I think it influences people? Well I've never been a fan of blaming your actions on anyone else. Sure I think peer-presure exists, and it's a crudy thing to do to someone, but ultimately everyone's responsible for their own actions. So it shouldn't influence people, and it's not an excuse, but it probably does. And James made a good point, most of the people I've known who've had serious problems with drugs (or alcohol) had other issues they were dealing with. Of course the drugs only made it worse, and perhaps the very fact that some people are more vulnerable than others is cause for special consideration, but yeah if it's a "clean cut kid" who has plenty of emotional support and no serious problems, I wouldn't think he/she would go out and begin his/her life as a hopeless addict after reading about it in one of your stories. So I think I just managed to give you a very long-winded and ultimately inconclusive reply......I should probably edit it or something, but I should be sleeping right now too lol. Anyway to leave you on a positive note, I'd say the good your stories do far out-weighs this possible concern. You present images of strong, healthy, virtuous gay people, who manage to work out their problems and issues, and find themselves in a healthy, long-term relationship. This is extremely inspiring and encouraging, and I'm sure it's done an indescribable amount of good in the lives of many gay youths. It provides quite a bit of hope and a positive example; I don't think many people could miss the overall very positive message and instead take from it "Getting high is the way to go in life". So anyway have an awesome day and don't worry I think you're positively impacting people's lives, not negatively. Kevin

You ever just find yourself with pointless clutter that you don't know what to do with. I mean you don't need the random objects anymore (if you ever did at all), but there's nothing wrong with them so you hate to throw them away, but then they're so random you don't really have a "place" for them. See tonight I decided I was going to thoroughly clean up my room, and ruthlessly throw away all the old junk I don't need. Then I'm going to my kitchen, and dumping all the stuff in my pantry I know I'll never eat/use. But there's just some stuff I don't know what to do with. If you can't tell, I'm a weird sort of person, I'm very impulsive when it comes to ideas, but not quite as impulsive when it comes to executing them (sure I could just describe myself as a "dreamer" but this why I get to be "impulsive" so humour me ). Anyway I always come up with these ideas like "I want to become a ventriloquist! Yeah, that'd be fun!",,,,then I realize "dude, it's not really that practical, it'll probably take alot of practice, and what are you ever going to do with it anyway?" So then I don't. Well probably about 8 years ago, I'm thinking it was when I was first entering High School, or was about to. I mentioned to my mom "I think I wanna take up tennis". So my mom, bless her, was always the type of mom who was really supportive of people taking up new interests, so she rushes out to buy me tennis gear. So I go once with a friend of mine, find out I really suck at serving, and tend to either launch the stupid ball into the next city, or fail to make it over the net at all, and never go back. Pathetic I know to give up that easily, but being the next Andre Agassi was never exactly a dream, just a whim. So anyway, now all this time later, I've still got old tennis balls on my shelf. I've moved 3 times since then, and have always taken them with me and tried to find "somewhere" for them. But why???? I mean it seems stupid to throw out perfectly good tennis balls, but what am I going to do with them?.......actually I have used them a few times when I tried to take up juggling ........maybe I should hang on to them. In other news, I actually did do the ice skating thing I talked about in my last post. It was totally awesome!! I loved it, I'm DEFINITELY gonna do that again. I was shocked too, looking at that little tiny blade I rationally thought "no way am I going to even be able to stand up on these things, yet alone SKATE with them", but at the same time I had myself all psyched up, thinking "you can totally do this, it'll be just like rollarblading, you're gonna be great!".......and I was! LOL 2 hours and I didn't fall once! Not even when I first started, and I didn't even hang on to the wall for an entire lap, I decided I just "had it" and went with it. Boy was it fun! And I was so proud of myself to just strap em on and get out there and just be able to do it! A friend of mine works in kinda the same area as the ice rink, and we made plans to meet this week and go, I can't wait (but while I do wait I'll try to find somewhere clever to put those tennis balls). I'm feeling pretty good about everything. Stuff's pretty much falling into place, and now that I've done the ice skating thing I'm really eager to go swimming. I actually considered going to the pool in my apartment complex this evening, but the water did seem kinda cool, so I just went for a walk/run instead. I'm also trying to eat right, and make sure I get a balanced diet. I think I was fiber and protein deficient before (probably not but they're the new thing in my diet to obsess about). I don't eat that much meat, in fact I'd say at least 2 or 3 days out of a given week I don't eat any at all. I mostly live on fresh fruits and veggies (which I think DO have enough fiber, but since they don't exactly put nutritional info on the side of an orange it's hard to be sure). So anyway I got this fiber rich cereal to start eating for breakfast, which I actually really like. And I bought these protein bars to have on days when I go meat free.....which I really don't care for that much. For lack of a better description they taste like wet paper bags dipped in cheap chocolate. BUT that just means they're really bland and unappealing, they're not exactly repulsive, so I think I can just suck it up and eat them when I need to. Anyway have a really awesome day folks! I hope you all find yourselves unbelievably happy and content. And thanks for the random facts everyone, I love learning about new things, feel free to keep them coming! Kevin

Thanks everyone! Those were very interesting facts, I'm definitely going to try to remember them all, and yep Sharon, I had my foot up to my arm before I even read the 2nd fact .

Well you made me wanna read the book now, Viv! I love stuff that makes me cry.....okay I mean books, movies, songs, TV etc. that make me cry, I don't care for things in my own life that make me cry,,,,at least not usually.. ..anyway. Sounds like a great book I've always wanted to read it, I'll definitely look into it! Have an awesome day! Kevin

LOL my friends threw me a surprise birthday party for my last birthday. I thought it was awesome though!

LOL well I can't wait to read it! And you're right that guy is hot lol. Take care! Kevin

LOL dude, that sounds awesome!

LOLOL Kitty! Thanks so much Viv and Sharon! I did it! LOL then I went back and refolded the other ones. Woo Hoo

So I was going to write this whiney entry complaining about all the things I couldn't do. All the things I used to know and can't remember; all the hopes I had that didn't pan out; all the skills I had that I've lost. Then I realized, What the heck am I whining about? I should just get out there and learn it/relearn it/do it. I'm sick of making excuses, lowering my standards, and playing for sympathy. I'm sick of doing it the easy way. I'm sick of worrying. I'm sick of playing it safe. And I'm sick of talking myself out of stuff I want to do. So I'm done. Instead of wishing and whining, I'm actually going to do it. There's nothing wrong with me; there's no reason why I can't accomplish anything and everything I set my mind to. I'm young, intelligent, resourceful, energetic, and good looking (and I'm NOT going to apologize for this little bout of conceit). I'm going to just do it! So here's some of the things I want to accomplish: Languages I want to learn: -French -German -Spanish Places I want to go or live: -The British Isles -Western Europe and the Mediterranean -The Orient -Australia -Canada Instraments I want to learn: -Piano -Guitar -Drums Skills I want to learn: -Ice skating -Swimming -Skiing -Riding a horse -Archery I also want to relearn pretty much EVERYTHING. I need to brush up quite a bit. It seems like everyday I hear about something and think "oh yeah I used to know about that". So here's what I'm going to do TOMORROW to begin to get some of this done. I'm off work tomorrow so I'm going to go ice skating, then I'm going to the Library where I'm either going to study something from History or something from Science or both. Then in the evening I'm going back to my online Spade League. I enjoy the game and it was good mental exercise. Basically I don't want to waste anymore time; so I'm not going to. So here's what I'd like to ask people reading this to do to help me. Tell me something interesting. I don't care what it's about, just pick something that you know that most people probably don't, from ANY area, and tell me. I want to expand my knowledge base. Anyway thanks and have an awesome day everyone. Kevin

LOL I will second that thought..I am allergic to bees..the kind that buzz and have deadly stingers! and kitty kats hair....and a lot of dogs..I love dogs....kats mostly know I am terrified of them and don't like me either.. ah to be or not to be..glad to see you will be in Houston, Mr. Kevin (did you know I once called Eric (Coming Undone Eric) and boy was I embarrassed....but you both remind me of each other so much... meaning you both are amazing and super cool:) hmmm....maybe its time you go back to Kinkos..see if the cute guy is there and offer to buy him a cup of coffee for being so nice? hint hint hint.... Just Italian Mother Michael match making..now If I can only do that for me....lol Happy New Year and Congratulations on your new place, Mr. Friendly Face Nice and Cool Guy Kevin:) Michael Aww thanks Michael. And I couldn't be more flattered, Eric's a great guy lol is that a localism I've picked up? I thought everyone used "fussing" that way. Anyway glad you're enjoying it here, have fun and take care Kevin

this is actually exactly what I was thinking. No offense but if you usually take exception to the guys she dates (even if it is warrented), perhaps she just doesn't feel comfortable introducing them to you. But of course I don't have any siblings, and my cousin doesn't date (that I know of), so I have nothing to compare this to except female friends, which I guess is a little different. Anyway I hope you can sort it all. Take care and have a great day! Kevin

oh my gosh! I feel so sorry for that poor kid, he sounds like he really has some problems. I'd say he needs the best therapy money can buy! I probably would tell Chaz too, but I'm sure you know best. Anyway take care and be careful. Kevin