thephoenix

The phoenix is a symbol of birth, death, and resurrection. For me, I joined this site after a period of self discovery where I was in a very dark place mentally/emotionally and was able start a new clean slate after moving to the U.S. History has a habit of repeating itself though so a similar thing happened in 2017. After years of self-discovery and forcing change again, I feel like I'm on the correct path again. The phoenix symbol has kind of stuck with me.

Arcadia - City of Solarius The War of the Magi raged on outside the walls of the city Solarius, capital city for the fire mages and the seat of the royal palace. It was the star of the Arcadian realm set on a hillside with excellent natural protection from the mountains and a rapid moving river flanking the city on two sides, and a forest and open plains on the others. The city had hundreds of brown, gold, and bronze spires and arches reaching up to the stars and many red canna lilies linin

A decades-long war between the fire and dark mages has ended up in a stalemate just outside Solarius in Arcadia. King Rowan and Queen Reyna decide to send their sole heir Alexander (Alex) through the multiverse to Earth with their most trusted friend Ariana to keep him safe. Alex grows up and remains in the dark about his heritage and dormant powers until the truth begins to unravel. Events force him to enlist the help of friends, train in the magical arts, and discover the secrets of the Ancients. Should he fail, the fate of the terran homeworld and that of Arcadia could hang in the balance.

Thank you for sharing your experiences-- for myself, I've only begun to chip away at this since January 22nd when all heck broke loose so yeah...i have that feeling of just being stuck and I'm wondering whether I will ever get out of this. Thank you....and yeah it's definitely a work in progress since I haven't mentally forgiven myself for screwing up so bad as far as "A" is concerned. I've known him a little under a year but we grew close quickly through my fraternity--that is--until February 17th.

Thanks Graeme, it's just that...that's the hard part. Not knowing and not really having closure on the matter. But yeah, right now, I don't think there is anything else I can do. Hope is all I have left. Thank you Tim, for your support; I'm not sure which is more painful...losing a best friend or losing a girl/boyfriend..not by passing, but just...ending the relationship. I've never had any experience in the latter so I don't know and I've heard mixed responses. I would never wish this on anyone, not even a nemesis. Thank you Dodger...and yeah, I try to spare the nitty gritty details because it even hurts just thinking about it again and I don't want to hurt anyone...It has taken me years to open up but now it seems I'm picking up the pieces. Or trying to anyway. Thank you Gary, I hope he'll reach out to me too, but I can't help feeling a sense of guilt for crossing the line--or trying to anyway. And yeah, my therapist told me something similar, that the strength has to come from within rather than from others, but I feel my self-worth and self-esteem is too damaged...I feel like a broken man with a laundry list of diagnoses--all chronic/severe in nature from 4 opinions from psychiatrists...talking about it is pretty much all I can do at this point. It will be a long journey. Thank you for your reply Palantir and your support. And yeah, I would never wish this on anyone. Thank you guys...

Hey everyone... I know I've been inactive for a very long time but I plan on being more active now. (sorry if this is the wrong forum for this). As of right now, I have come out to 8 people, not including professional therapists, psychiatrists, counselors, or social workers, been hospitalized 4 times this year alone so far and am now currently in some rehab-for-depression kind of place. Long story short, I have been on the brink of SI (suicidal ideation) multiple times for various reasons, dotted with a few actual attempts. That's not the point of this post though. I fell hard for a straight guy best friend of mine, we'll call him "A". He's also a fraternity brother of mine. Came out to him, he was uber-supportive and has been my emotional go-to 'rock' until February 17th. That was the day after one of my hospital discharges. He (with prior permission) read through a journal I wrote during my previous 11-day stay in the psych ward, yes, due to SI. One particular entry mentioned him discreetly...my wording was, I believe "I had a conversation with my doctor today...it was about a crush I have on one of my fraternity brothers..."...He was able to figure out it was him based on that alone and when I asked him how, he responded that he just knew from the way I looked at him and how we interacted. My worst mistake was then (stupid delusional thinking that he's also interested) trying to make a move on him--but--nothing happened...just he gently pushed me away the split second he realized what I was trying to do. He chose to give me a quick hug and left while I was desperately apologizing over and over at the same time. I'll spare the details, but that night, I was back in the hospital. I think it was Day 12 of 17 (some time in early March i think) of hospitalization #3 when he essentially told me over the phone (after a rough conversation with his gf) he wanted nothing to do with me and we were no longer friends, which was beyond devastating. His roommate, we'll call him "J", who is still a friend and also a fraternity brother, tells me he's fine, he's over the hurt/confusion, knows i'm sorry, but ... nothing. The few times J brought me up in conversation to A, his reaction was pretty much muted. Everyone's telling me he needs space and I've given him exactly that--to the point of even moving out of the state (MI), financial cost be darned. My other friends say to give him time, and he'll come around, but I've become more and more unsure. (To give you insight on his personality, he's pretty much the socialite, and gets along with almost anyone, loves card games and video games and sports and all, and has the occasional dirty joke). I'm safe, and among professionals here. But there's that nagging question in my head. Will he come around? Do you guys think our old friendship is salvageable?

"Some difficult instructors are undisputed giants in their fields, bearing an incredible storehouse of knowledge and insight. Others are just embittered old farts. Which one is this guy?" I'm not sure on this since I haven't taken the class yet. From what I've heard though, he's pretty smart, but he has no business teaching because he is not good at articulating things. "See if you can get the student union on your side, get their representatives to request metrics, or survey the student body, to prove your case, maybe get them to present these to the governing body and advise them if they fail to take effective action these metrics will be published on social media in the most damaging way, naming the members of the governing body for putting vested staff interests ahead of their students' interests. Also check out the school prospectus for any claims about their commitment to deliver excellence to students and use these against the governing body. Unless you are on a full ride scholarship they are not giving you what you paid for. Maybe it's even breach of contract." I like the social media idea. With today's super-ultra-high speed connected world via social media and whatnot, it could indeed be very effective. I'll bounce the idea off of my college's student representative to the student senate. (Yeah, student gov't is taken pretty seriously here and their decisions hold a lot of weight in major university-wide decisions - for example we voted on a resolution passed by the student senate to slightly increase the enrollment fee for all students for more frequent bus service to our college of aviation campus - which passed.)

So there is this class at my university and there is only one professor that teaches it. Everyone I have spoken with has had terrible reviews for him because of his incomprehensible method of teaching, the exam curve balls, the grading scheme and that he seems to enjoy giving bad grades. I know of someone who had a 4.0 GPA and got a DC (equivalent to C-). I think the class average for last semester was 37%. The students who took it last semester filed a formal complaint through student government to the governing body and administration of the university - all the way up to the president, but nothing was done. We suspected it was because the professor in question has been at the university for a long time. The problem with this class is that it is a required class for a couple majors so I along with thousands of other students will need to take it at some point. I'm wondering how feasible a student boycott will be. I'm pretty sure it is legal in the U.S. as long as it is peaceful, but I feel like there would have be a very high turnout to affect anything. Maybe high enough to shut down the university? I don't know. *sigh*

It's no secret that takeoff and approach to landing are some of the most dangerous parts of the flight. This is because the airplanes are in relatively close proximity to various obstacles and the airplanes are traveling at a relatively slow speed, requiring the use of secondary flight controls such as flaps and slats to increase the camber and size of the wing to generate more lift to compensate for the reduced speed. At the old airport in Hong Kong, I think pilots used an instrumental landing system (ILS), which is very precise instrumentation that pilots use to perform difficult approaches or land in less-than-optimal visibility conditions. Kai-tak had a reputation, even in the pilot community as a very difficult and dangerous approach. I think only very experienced pilots with tens of thousands of flying hours were permitted to attempt this approach. There are various categories of ILS - CAT I, CAT II and CAT IIIa, IIIb, and IIIc. The higher the category, the more precise the instrumentation. There aren't any CAT IIIc ILS approaches yet, but it would allow for flight operations in zero visibility conditions because of its precision.

There are many redundancies built into airplanes that make flying one of the safest methods of travel. Every time an accident occurs, a lengthy investigation always follows and the National Transportation Safety Board (NTSB) presents recommendations to the FAA. The reason the media pays so much attention to airplane incidents is because of the high number of fatalities that often accompany a crash. The science behind flying is actually pretty simple and hopefully this may alleviate some of your concerns. The top of the wing is curved and the bottom of the wing is relatively flat. This is the typical shape of an airfoil. As the airplane moves forward, the air moving across the top of the wing must travel a farther distance than the air flowing along the bottom of the wing. This creates a differential pressure effect with the low pressure on top and high pressure on the bottom. Fluid mechanics will tell you that pressure always moves from high to low. There are no exceptions that I know of to this rule. With this differential pressure, the high pressure wants to equalize with the low pressure, but the wing is in the way. This creates an upward force on the wing. If you look closely at the wing of a small single engine Cessna-172 and compare it with the wing of a Boeing 777, the first thing that may come to mind is the blatantly obvious difference in the size of the wings. The airfoil shape I just mentioned is much flatter than that of a Cessna. The never-exceed speed of a small single engine airplane is typically 170-200 knots. The maximum speed of a Boeing 777 is around 0.89 mach (89% the speed of sound). The faster the plane goes, the faster the air moves alongside the upper and lower side of the wings, and the greater the pressure differential. However, with the speed of a Cessna-type aircraft, there needs to be a greater curvature on the top to compensate for the limited speed of that airplane. Basically, an airplane moving at 0.89 mach will not stop on a dime. As long as it keeps moving, it will continue to generate upward momentum on the wings, something we in the pilot community call "lift". There are 3 other forces: thrust, weight, and drag. The engines create the thrust - the forward momentum. As the airplane rolls down the runway, picking up more and more speed, the differential pressure between the top and bottom of the wing keeps increasing, generating more and more lift. When lift exceeds the weight of the aircraft, the aircraft leaves the ground. Many transport-type airplanes have more than one engine. In most situations, if one engine were to fail, the airplane can land safely on the remaining engines. However, in the case of complete engine failure such as the Hudson River crash, the no additional thrust is created, but the plane still has forward momentum. The momentum was enough for Capt. Sullenberger to glide down safely into the Hudson River. The chance, however, of losing all engines at the same time is extremely rare. There are many other redundancies built into airplanes to keep the traveling public safe. An airplane will not fall out of the sky like a rock except in cases of extreme structural failure (wing breaking off) or a complete stall. (air separates from the surface of the wing due to excessive angle of attack). The first is extraordinarily rare and the second would be extreme pilot negligence or error. There are many warnings in the cockpit that prevent pilots from stalling. You may have heard the terms "stall horn", "stick shaker" or "stick pusher". The "stick" is the control column that pilots use for controlling the movement of the airplane. Pull on it, and you climb, push on it and you descend. Of course, this is connected mechanically, hydraulically or electronically to the actual flight control surfaces. Stalling a transport airplane is probably one of the career-ending things a pilot can do.

Unfortunately I had to narrow down my trip to just 2 cities so I wouldn't trample all over my budget. Maybe next time

My Christmas trip is finally starting to materialize... What is a reasonable daily budget for New York City and Washington DC? I want the full experience without emptying my savings... I've planned out my transportation costs and I'm thinking I could use the NY CityPass for access to many museums. Does Washington charge anything to visit the monuments or museums such as the Smithsonian?

Well I've had 3 counseling sessions already - everything is now open with my counselor. I'm comfortable with the confidentiality agreement but beyond that...i'm hitting a brick wall. I've even gone and assigned an "alias" for the gay thing. Something I can type - funny enough - but can't say aloud. Yet. She has me focus on breathing exercises (taking deep breaths to return to the present moment instead of going back and forth from past to future thoughts) which is effective in the very very short term...but beyond that, the effectiveness dissipates and I'm subconsciously going right back to where I was. Something inside me is fighting my executive control (a term I learned in psychology class meaning that part of me that makes final decisions and is the "me" inside of me) on this...

Haha! will do! My break is about 2 weeks long. TBH I'm a little concerned about DC now if the government pulls another stunt like it just did. Plus there might be protests and stuff...

Thanks for the ideas guys...I won't be driving to New York though (I'm flying there) so I'm limited to public transportation and perhaps just the major surrounding cities. (Having a car in NYC is not really worth it anyway (traffic/parking/etc.))