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RIP - Comicality
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I don't know what title to put here

thephoenix

Entry posted by thephoenix

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Well I've had 3 counseling sessions already - everything is now open with my counselor. I'm comfortable with the confidentiality agreement but beyond that...i'm hitting a brick wall. I've even gone and assigned an "alias" for the gay thing. Something I can type - funny enough - but can't say aloud. Yet.

 

She has me focus on breathing exercises (taking deep breaths to return to the present moment instead of going back and forth from past to future thoughts) which is effective in the very very short term...but beyond that, the effectiveness dissipates and I'm subconsciously going right back to where I was.

 

Something inside me is fighting my executive control (a term I learned in psychology class meaning that part of me that makes final decisions and is the "me" inside of me) on this...

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AC Benus

Billy S. has a poem, maybe his last - The Phoenix and the Turtle - don't read the het-forced 'explanations' on wiki - we know it is about our kind of love and our kind of suffering.

 

"So they lov'd, as love in twain
Had the essence but in one;
Two distincts, division none:
Number there in love was slain.

 

Hearts remote, yet not asunder;
Distance, and no space was seen
'Twixt the turtle and his queen;

But in them it were a wonder.

 

So between them love did shine,
That the turtle saw his right
Flaming in the phoenix' sight:
Either was the other's mine."

 

Hang in there. Go your own pace, but remember, we need you on the right side to help out

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