Well as an author I am usually blind to my own mistakes so your suggestion about the fabric beneath I can do, but no Teddy still has his bright brown eyes and they are not hanging by a string, thank you very much.
Kim - I loved yours. There was a depth of detail there but Renee pointed out ways for even more. Nicely done.
Jonathan - I would love to know more about this locket. Is the locket heart shaped or oval? Does it have filigree work on it or a cameo on the front? Is it engraved? Is this her favorite piece of jewelry? Does she update the photos or are the pictures of you and your brother as children? Is this the piece most people will find your mother wearing in the holiday pictures or this something she will be seen wearing if you catch her at the sink with your phone camera on Wednesday night? You seemed a bit tentative. Don't worry about going overboard, if you do your editor can always cut it back, but the more you give us the easier it is to picture that locket which means so much to you and your mother.
Okay so I am an English major but even I had to read part of this one. If it wasn't for that god awful long word that I recall asking my professor if it was real I'd never remember this one. And yes the Greek guy should know this one. The question is do I answer or wait. And don't count out us American's. We have gotten our educations too! Comedies. Bah.
I've worked with many different betas, including Cia, and the ones I like are the ones who are honest with me. If something doesn't work in a story, I am using a word incorrectly, or there might be simply a better choice and it is suggested to me I will seriously begin changes to improve my story. However if I get things like "I hate this" it means very little to me. Pointing out that something is confusing and you don't get it means a hell of a lot more to me.
Happy Birthday Cia!
You work so hard for others,
You never seem to rest,
From editor, to Admin, and that title too of mother,
From all of us you expect only the best.
So for your day I can only wish
For you all the dreams a heart can hold,
A slice of cake upon a dish
A chance for you to be so bold.
All the greatest now and always.
Thank you Dark. It isn't often I get to see someone enjoy the story after it has been up for a while. I do have a thing for fairy tales though don't I. Your review was greatly appreciated.