Dodger

Loving this story. Hating Jack! Feeling very sorry for Damon. I wonder how things would have played out had they not been interrupted and at the party. Would they both be on the street or would Jack be sent to conversion therapy. I'm afraid they both lucked out with their parents. Jack's dad comes across as a particularly vile human being. "Not with children in the house." That line made my blood boil. Religion has a lot to answer for. Thanks, Cassie for a really powerful and disturbing chapter.

I like these crazy guys. I hope they can rescue the foals.

There's something about unicorns that attracts all kinds of folk, including me. Pravolo had it coming. I guess unicorns don't make very good pets.

Damn, I wish I had written that question! Well done to whoever sent it in. Nice work as usual, Carlos. You seem to be everywhere these days.

Big congratulations, Carlos. A great achievement.

Chapter comments are for members to leave comments on the chapter they've just read. I'm very happy to receive constructive criticism providing it relates to the story. I object to being told how I should write the story, or when I should post chapters. You definitely do not have the right to do that. If you continue to do it, you'll be reported.

You need to use a better translator. However, you don't really have the right to complain about the length of this story, how often it's updated, or whether or not it's finished. It has absolutely nothing to do with you. There's a simple solution; if you don't like the story, then move on. I'm open to constructive criticism from genuine readers, but not hateful whinging from people like you, so do yourself a favour and sling your hook!

Thank you for reading and commenting. It's certainly a lot easier posting a finished work, but not nearly as fun as working without a net and some of the best stories on this site are unfinished. It doesn't deter me, but I can see why some readers get frustrated. The good news is, the Cockney Canuck was finished in 2015 before a single word was posted and despite the addition of some fifty odd chapters, the ending and basic story line hasn't changed.

Not a Fran

Thank you @Etotsira I have to say you did very well to read all that in three days. Thank you for reading and taking the time to comment.

I like this, Cassie. "If something happens, I promise you'll know about it." Funny thing is, I'm not sure if he would. Jack seems to be blissfully unaware of interest from either sex. The feelings he got from briefly holding Damon's hand and his reaction to it later, probably means Alyssa's barking up the wrong tree.

A thoroughly enjoyable short story with an unpredictable twist that turns it on its head, but makes total sense.

This story is heartbreaking, but compelling reading. Rarely have I read a story so convincingly told from the eyes of the abused. It is impossible not to feel frustrated by Zak's inability to accept help, but this behaviour is entirely consistent with others in the same situation. Frighteningly realistic, it makes me want to reach out and pull Zak to safety.

It's not surprising that Zak is having a panic attack, but I'm glad he made it out of the house and is finally able to ask for the help he so desperately needs.

Ten basic and easy to follow writing tips that will definitely help you to improve.

Great, simple to understand tips from a wonderful author. I remember reading this a long time ago and most of these points stuck.

Good practical advice from a true master of sex scenes.

I think it helps if the reader is comfortable with the characters and can relate to what’s going on. Sex is rarely perfect. Let’s face it there’s a lot that can go wrong and often does, at least that’s been my experience. Whenever I write a sex scene—which is not often nowadays—I try not to make it sound too perfect. Something has to go wrong. If they’re teenagers, or it’s their first time together, then they’ll likely fumble their way through an awkward and clumsy encounter. Maybe there will be a bit of comedy in there too. But they won’t finish at the same time without spilling a drop, because that doesn’t happen in real life. I think readers enjoy reading sex scenes if they’re realistic and they don’t know for sure how it’s going to turn out. If it’s too perfect, people can’t relate to it, because that’s not how they have experienced it. Or maybe I just have a jaded outlook.

CG, I really love this comment and I left it to last because I wasn't sure how to answer it. Everything you say is entirely possible. Don likes people to think he's doing well, but advertising is a notoriously unstable job and he has a lot of bills to cover. If he's in trouble then Robbie's money would be a very tempting solution, but he would have to work out a way of getting to it first and that would be difficult, even for him. He's probably paying the church already. It's funny how they often claim to be poor but the ministers always look well fed and tend to live in big houses and drive nice cars.

Robbie may want to give it another try with Nathan, but before telling Conner, he needs to be sure his ex-boyfriend wants the same thing. If it was Nathan who was with Conner I wonder if he would leave him to go back to Robbie? A lot for Robbie to think about, but of course, we know he won't. I'm steering well clear of the Tom speculation.

I don't think the police really believe Alex and his brother have been murdered, but they don't believe Robbie's assault claim either. They think Robbie knows more than he's letting on.

Conner is undoubtedly the better choice and I think even Robbie realizes this, but Nathan is a temptation that won't go away. Robbie is attracted to danger and a single Nathan may prove irresistible. Perhaps if he allows himself the opportunity to get to know Conner better he will change his mind.

I agree. It doesn't make sense. Why would someone visit a story that they're not reading anymore?

I was actually wondering as I wrote it, if it sounded a little Donish. I wasn't sure so I went with it anyway thinking I was probably being a little over fussy.

Not me but some interesting answers. I'm inclined to follow AC. I think it's Timothy.