Yettie One

I am not certain that I'd say there are specific websites that are life changers, but let's be honest, in some ways, Google is so much more than just a search engine today that it almost has to be one of the driving forced behind web development. In terms of how I see the web's influence in commerce, I'd pretty much list the following websites as being trendy and important for development. 1. Google (Which would include the likes of GMail, Google Maps, Google Drive, Google Docs, YouTube, etc) 2. Ebay/Amazon/PayPal (they have pretty much changed the way we shop) 3. iTunes (changed and leads the way we get, listen to and distribute music, film and more) 4. Wikipedia (knows a little bit of something about everything) 5. Wordpress (.com gave ordinary people a way to blog about anything, and .org is changing the way we build the web) In terms of personal and social content for the web, I am pretty sure that these choices are kinda obvious for most of us, but important on a different level maybe? 1. Twitter (I list it first because of the speed with which it can be used to share information. Twitter has been proved efficient and effective in huge events like the Arab spring and the London Riots to name but a few instances of its power) 2. Facebook (Simply because of its sheer size. For most people it is the No 1 distraction) 3. Skype (Service or website? Erm, I don't really know, but I know so many people use skype to communicate I figured it should feature in the list) 4. BBC (Ok I think in terms of news it vastly depends on where you are as to what choice you will make for your main channel of news and information) 5. Craigslist (Personal adds for just about everything. Gave ebay a massive run for its money)

It is at times like this weekend that I am rudely reminded that despite the daily difficulties I face on my own, I am not alone in the world, and while there are times I feel very much alone, and at odds with all that is going on around me, there are others going through difficulties just as vivid and real to them as my own are to me. Wrapping myself in a cocoon of my own making, getting lost in self pity and getting disillusioned by my circumstances is easy. I've written before about how selfish I feel at times, being wrapped up in the daily issues that demand my concentration and lead me to frustration and bouts of moaning and groaning. I often put it down to the condition I call being human. We don't like being in strife and hardship. I could list a hundred reasons to feel the way I do, and most people would empathise to some degree, or at the very least understand why I feel the way I do. But it is not my own circumstances that have brought me to my knees this week. Nope, I suddenly feel quite lucky this week, despite the fact we all feel as if we have been to hell and back. Let me give you a bit of background. When I lived in Wales, I met a family from South Africa with three kids, through my work. Two of the lads are autistic, one severely. The oldest lad at the time we were in contact was going through a hard time, feeling isolated and rebelling against the constant attention the two younger boys needed, and began to delve into drugs and chaotic behaviour. It was when he was arrested in a brawl outside a night club and called me as he was too scared to call his dad, that I decided to get involved. With the help of my mom and dad, I reached out and offered to help out. For the sake of this blog let's call the teen Boyo. With his parents consent Boyo came and lived with us for a few months, and threw constant attention, love and attention he pulled himself right. I give most of the credit for this to my mom, who when the chips down and the situation needed it, stepped up to the plate and gave of herself, her time and patient dedication to a young family in need. For my part I took on the role of taxi driver! (so that is what being a parent is all about! ) This process drew us all very close together, and the two younger lads became a fond extension to our makeshift family, despite the challenges their of their condition. The middle brother had a fascination with fishing. I think it was something to do with the calmness and solitude of it. He could sit for hours with steadfast concentration, and dogged determination while the rest of us would curse and cast and while away the hours. He also had a fierce loyalty to Boyo that I don't think I've ever seen between brothers. While I lived in Wales, it was a regular Sunday afternoon tradition, even in the cold times, for the five of us, both fathers, the two boys and I to head down to Swansea pier and spend the afternoon fishing. In that time it took months before I was even acknowledged by the middle brother, credit to my father here who was treated with the same disdain, but whose experience and patience helped me weather the storm of moodiness, and even when he began to begrudgingly accept our presence, it was with a degree of hostility and suspicion. I guess in his young eyes I'd kidnapped his brother at one point, and he didn't like that fact. Time moved on, boyo got a young lass pregnant, moved with her to London to be near her mom, and a wonderful young princess was born. She is a cutey to be sure. I moved on up to Yorkshire, and things worked out for the best.... Or so I thought. So imagine my shock on Sunday to get a call from the middle brother in a mad panic. In the time I have been away from Wales, I have been in contact via Facebook with each of them, as you do, and tried to keep up with happenings, but you lose touch. I got wrapped up in my own affairs. Turns out in this time that Boyo has been diagnosed as Paranoid Schizophrenic, sectioned, treated and released. In a bout of mania on Saturday night, he was convinced he was being pursued by the CIA, and his fiancée was a sleeper agent trying to kill him. He had held her at knife point for several hours, before running off, and taking every single pill given to him to control his symptoms. Sunday morning he was admitted to A&E in a critical condition where they fought to save his life. During all of this, the family were informed, and on his arrival at the hospital Boyo's father collapsed from a stroke, which they believe was brought on by stress complicated by his high blood pressure. Two in one day. No wonder the middle brother was wild and worried out of his mind when he called. Mom and I hopped in the car and off we shot. I got a shock when I saw Boyo late in the afternoon. He's a changed young man. It is the first time I've ever walked into a room and seen a television like situation played out in real life. Tubes, drips, beeping machines. It was horrible. I don't ever want to experience something like that again if I can help it. Sat there watching, I felt completely helpless. I know I've written a lot about telling people how you feel while you have a chance, and you know what, I couldn't help but sit there and look at Boyo and wish I'd listened to my own bloody advice. We spent a couple of days down there, until we had to get in the car and leave behind two fine people, struggling to survive another day, each for a different reason, yet each so clearly linked to each other and to us. It was too soon to say goodbye to either of them, and despite that they are in good hands, stable and doing well, you never totally feel safe for them or the future. We live busy and hectic lifestyles. We often lose sight of the good in our lives, and fail to take time to appreciate the golden moments. I've said it before, I'll say it again. Learn to treasure them. Real friends are few and far between, and while you may not live in each others pockets, it is important to let each other know that despite the distance, regardless of the silent times, you love each other as much today as you did yesterday, last week, last year. Sometimes life shakes us to the very core to remind us that no matter how bad we have got it, there are people out there that matter, need us and are important. Take a moment to remember them, they are there for you, you should be there for them. And yes, I'm going to bloody well listen this time round. If I don't I give you permission to spank me! I hope things are well with you all, and the weeks treating ya well. I hope that in some way, at some time this week, someone reaches out and touches you and reminds you that you're special. Even if you don't think so yourself. Most of all, I hope you don't mind me sharing a thought or two and ranting on at you as usual. Thanks for reading. Yettie out! Thought for today - "I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade, and try to find someone whose life has given them vodka and have a party!" - Ron White Song for today - Supremacy by Muse

I have enjoyed the relationships I've had, so I am not sure that I'd take a pill as a reason to change my sexuality. But I really would like to experience life as a straight guy. (ie - an experience as a real straight guy, not just sex with a woman) I'd love to see the world through a straight man's eyes, at least once. Understand how erm tits are attractive , and some of the other mysteries of the straight mans world. So yeah I might try taking a pill, as long as there was a pill returning me to my normal state of life afterwards.

When I was pretty young, Mom, Dad and I were returning to Harare from a holiday at Victoria Falls, flying in an antiquated Air Rhodesia Vickers Viscount when we hit a low pressure air pocket and the plane plummeted how ever far down it was before normal flight was restored, but the one thing that sticks out clear in my mind is seeing people rise up off their seats almost as if they had gained some strange powers of levitation. I guess it was a great example of why they say if you are in a plane and not wondering around, keep the belt on. I've done a lot of flying since then, and the only other problem I've ever had was not with the plane as such. I flew to New York once with the flu, and on decent into JFK my ears would not pop!!! OMG That is the worst feeling in the world. I thought my head was going to pop, and when they did finally equalise it was with a clear audible noise. Horrible. I love flying, and I love airshows. Planes are fascinating.

Your sarcasm is oozing with whit and clever humour. This is great, and something I never quite expected to see on GA. Glad KC told me to check it out. I could just imagine John Cleese reading this as a monologue. Now that would be class.

I know right. It sucks, and not in a good way!

So the 14th Feb is just around the corner, have you got your Valentines Cards yet? Just wondering, is Valentines a big thing for you, and on the receiving end, would you rather get flowers, chocolates or a dinner date? (and no you can't have all three! ) Or is valentines just another one of those over commercialised reasons for shops and restaurants to rape the wallet one more time so soon after christmas and the sales?

Sending you wishes for loads and loads of good luck to come your way Wayne! (oh and by the way, if you suddenly win the lottery this weekend, then I'm coming to see you for my share) Hugs big guy, keep your chin up buddy. xx

Small steps leading you out into a brave new world, a future bright with new and exciting steps for you and Stuby. A world of opportunity and hope. Such a huge stide of progress and determination to embrace the potential in life Mark. There is so much to be proud of in all you do. Your friendship and support, love and attentiveness are unending and given freely, without expectation. Your humour and messages are a constant reminder of what true friendship is. Little gems of goodnesses spread around the multitude of people that rely on the goodness of that big heart of yours. Always a kind word, even when the recipient does not wish to hear it. Haha, that's stubborn 'ol Marky for you. "You will get a portion of my love today, whether you think you need it or not, so put that in your gob and suck on it!" Probably not the best words to use, as I am sure our Marky Mark will jump on the opportunity to make a play on words. I just think that it is wonderful to see you taking such big steps to breaking free of your past and build yourself a fantastic new future Mark. I am sure that I speak for many of us when I say that I wish you much happiness as your plans unfold, and despite the hardships you will face along this road, keep your chin up high, your building a better tomorrow here. Coming together is a beginning; keeping together is progress; working together is success.

What a beautiful young lad, defiantly a treasure to be proud of Bud. As a mom, your grandkids are even more of a reason for you to celebrate the world and family around you. You've nurtured these young people into adults, and now they are doing the same around you, so it is natural to feel super proud and maternal towards them. Having moved once to be close to them, it can only come as a shock to the system to now suddenly face the risk of losing them to distance once more, allow yourself that time to feel sad. Time may work something out, things may unfold in a way you never expected, but you are allowed to feel a bit gutted too! I'd be worried about you if you didn't. Your on a curved path right now, one of life's twisted moments. Hang in there girl, you are a treasure to so many, and a flame we all admire. Love and hugs to you and yours, and take extra special care. Always here. The Yettie xxx

So many names in there I have to add to my read list Asam. Thanks. Huggles and rose petals. xx

I pretty much used Netscape through my teen years. It was the one I was shown to use and I guess I just felt really comfortable on it. I've always found the fox cute, but the software a huge drain on the memeory, so I was a fan of a browser called Flock for ages, but then they stopped support for it So I kind converted to Chrome. Not the best but it works. Say, out of interest, back in the 90's when I signed up for my first webmail email account it was a @mailcity.com account provided by Lycos. Anyone remember those? Who was your first webmail account with?

Hey Traveller_23 my bad. I accept your rebuke, I should have been more clear about the differences. I am certain I did not intend to infer that any one religion is bad or worse than another, I can point to many other religions that have been or are just as ruthless in one way or another. Sorry to have got it wrong. I do however stand by my point that in a situation where oppression is a possible result of coming out in such communities, the fear of retribution is enough to make anyone baulk at the idea of admitting they are gay.

Hey Daphne I am so sorry. What a horrible end to a night out. Look, I've never had to deal with a rape directly. I've seen the aftermath of a sexual assault through a friend of our family many years ago, and don't remember much as I was pretty young. However, I am writing about this exact thing right now, and have just been doing a lot of reading about it. I never realised how huge this situation was, it is simply quite horrific. First up, it is not something that anyone can deal with alone. The feelings are simply overwhelming. You are a perfect example of this right now. You would think you have the rational knowing what you know to deal with it, but trauma is something you cannot simply shrug off. One of the most important things both of you need to do is to talk. It is hellishly hard, especially for the victim, but essential to begin the process of healing. Secondly, No is No. Blame lies at the feet of the person that refused to hear the word. If your friend has said no, then her whole system of trust has just been invaded, and much the same for the rest of you. Someone you know, maybe trusted, but at the very least accepted has just violated someone you love, want to protect, and now realise could not. This will in you trigger feelings of guilt and insecurity. You will be asking yourself things like why didn't you see it coming, if only you had done this or that. How could you have not known? You will feel empathy, sympathy, rage, hate, despair. These are things you need to work through, but more so, your friend must face, deal with and overcome. For this she will need you every step of the way buddy. If it is taken to the police, it is a tough world. The "he said, she said" thing is so hard on a victim. The justice system is meant to be blind, but often the case is a prosecution will not even consider a case unless there is strength in the evidence they have to take to court, and that process can make it seem that the law is just not on her side. That is horrific in itself, but even if it does go to court there is the trauma of a court case, and often this is too much for a victim to handle. Look. You know all this. You've studied it all. But right now, you are feeling the raw emotion of the hurt and pain of this experience. Try if at all you can to be calm, think logically, and don't over think everything. So easy for me to say from my bedroom. If not already done, make sure any evidence is secured. Work out your exact plan and think it through. Iron out any kinks. Take the necessary action you need to take. Contact an advice line if you must. There must be a number you can call. If other people are at risk with this guy, you should seriously consider their safety, and what actions you could take to secure them. Can they stay with friends for a while? Is there family you can involve? If it comes down to it, your friend will need people around her she can fully trust. Friends can be fickle and chose sides unexpectedly. Family will be at her side regardless. So much to think about. So much to do. I feel for you I really do. But please. TALK. It is the only way to avoid going stir crazy. Hugs and if you need drop me a mail any time to talk. Rob x

I haven't written on my blog for a while. Several reasons for that. I've been working on a piece for my personal blog, one I've been doing for a fair amount of time, and been thinking it through much. Work has been pretty hectic to be fair. I been able to catch up on some reading this week too. It is some of this which I choose to write about today, and pay tribute to some of the amazing talent that comes freely to us here on GA. Each of us has something that makes a story, book, narrative or whatever written work it is, something unique, special and memorable. For me there are three things that a story must do to stand out to me as something I will remember fondly into my twilight years. I will delve into what these things are a little later, but first I must say that as an amateur writer, very young into my experience with writing, I have really come to admire the people who do get it right and make it seem so flawlessly easy. Writers have their own genre of writing, and us readers too have our own favourites when it comes to what we enjoy reading about and what we just don't. It is the ones that can take us into their world and make us get lost in there with them that are the masters of this game. There is so much information out there detailing what to do and what not to do, it is pretty daunting from an authors point of view. It is naive to think that writing is simply putting an idea onto paper, something I've discovered myself since joining GA. The technical parts of making a work flow, the use of english, the plot and all the other bits and pieces that come together into a well rounded work of fiction have stopped me in my tracks frequently. Yet for some, the words just tumble off their fingers it would seem, and this is a skill I look up to with admiration and a desire to be something even close to that good one day. I recently read a medical story written by Andy here on GA and it took me to a place I like to be when I finish reading something. I can't say I was happy, the story was moving, sad and emotional, but that is exactly what a story should be. I don't mind if a story does not have a happy ending, as long as it have moved me. This for me is the first thing that I look for in a story that will stand out from the crowd. It must invoke some kind of reaction emotionally within me. Lilansui wrote of a hairdresser that was not all he seemed, and had a plot that kept me on the edge of my seat. There were moment within the story I was ready to shout at the characters despite them being totally unable to hear me, regardless of the fact they were a work of fiction. I was lost in the moment, and caught up in the excitement. That skill with words is wonderful to experience as a reader. The next thing that I look for is plausibility. That does not mean that everything has to be completely possible or take anything away from the realm of fantasy. What I mean is, make your characters believable. Ashi recently wrote a brilliant blog entry detailing how we should seriously consider showing our character's flaws, and this so effectively demonstrates what I am trying to say. The best example of this I have come across is a story by Layla. She writes about a family of brothers, who are struggling to survive day by day. Each day is different filled with crazy characters, curve balls, fast balls, arguments, insecurities, family feuds It is complex in its depth in that you are drawn into their world and relate to what is happening within it. You can feel it, smell it, sense it and despite its complexity, it is so simple to read and easy to relate to. Sean Halford has a story set in Cape Town in South Africa on GA. I first came across it on another site, and he was pointed me here to get the latest chapters. I didn't even realise he was posting on GA, it just shows the wonderful wealth of great writers we have here, so many I've not yet even discovered. The beauty of the story written by Sean that I refer to is the attention to detail that has gone into the work. Cia is another great example of this. Tiny little quirks within a story, a tiny fact that you almost question the reason for its presence while your reading, but extra's that add authenticity to the story. Descriptions that paint the picture with clarity in your minds eye. I am guessing the trick here is to write about what you know. C James includes such detailed descriptions of sailing in Circumnavigation that someone who's never been near a catamaran like me feels as if they could almost climb aboard one and set sail from the knowledge he imparts to us through his story. Some of us will choose to write about stuff we don't know all that much about, yet still I would argue, the ones that make this work, are the ones that include a part of themselves within the characters of the story, thus in a way, indirectly investing much of what they know into the people we are reading about. A good example of this is Fleeting Rainbows who writes about a lad coming home from a re-educational facility, something she admits she had to research carefully, yet so much of herself is invested within the characters that despite her careful research she is able to write from within the minds of the people in the story. She does this so convincingly too. It is this that gives that much craved plausibility to a story. Lastly. Dialogue. This is a tricky one. The minefield of grammar with dialogue is enough to put most people off, yet it is an integral part of a story. It is what brings humour to a character, fun to a situation, excitement to an adventure. Dialogue is a tool, that if used correctly is pure joy to read. It will give flavour to the personality and bring a paragraph of text alive to a reader. Cassie and KC Grim are both masters at the use of dialogue. I love reading their work for this reason alone. That is not to say that there are not others who use dialogue well, Nephy is another great example of what a well written conversation can look like when you read discussions between the central characters of her story about memory loss. Another way to grab attention within your story is to be quirky. Try things that are not common. A risky strategy but a good example of what I mean is the style used by Michael in his story about a teenage boy who feels isolated and ignored by his family. Not an uncommon theme, but made so enjoyable by the quirky style with which he has written his story. I've mentioned a good few stories that are already posted, and am lucky enough to be working with authors that are producing some amazing stuff that is yet to come. I have till now not really mentioned the one work on GA that right now, for me, brings all three of these things together to make a terrific story. Stellar's Hidden Sunlight is something ordinarily I wouldn't have been interested in. I am not much of a scifi person, but for one reason or another I decided to check this one out. Rapidly I became besotted by the story, and then lucky enough to become a beta for the author. I guess this does make me slightly biased, but credit where credit is due. I have come to know the man behind the work, and he is a perfectionist. He fusses about the smallest detail, thinks, sees, talks through his characters. He knows them intimately. He's created a world I am certain he could sell realty for. He can tell you about the childhood of the Captains third henchman and has written email dialogue between a world of scientists about something I've never heard of, don't fully understand, yet believe completely. The key is Stellar knows his stuff. He believes it, is attentive to the way he presents it, and because of it, we get to enjoy an amazing story that has had me on the edge of my seat cursing more times than I care to admit. He has me loving the central characters, routing for the good guys, hating the protagonist and determined that happiness will come to those that deserve it. I love listening to the people of his story talk. I have imagined their voices in my head, have an image of their faces worked out and a layout of their home, surrounding land, and world all figured out mentally. That is the kind of story I love. There are wonderful artists of words here on GA, too many for me to mention them all, and many I have not even discovered yet. Some I have only just begun to read, and find myself woo'd into their stuff, others I have not checked out in a while. I guess I kind of figured that it is only fair when I've enjoyed reading something to share it, pass it on so to speak. If any of these stories have pricked your curiosity and you want to know the title or url, drop me a message, I am certain you will find them well worth your time. Thought for today - "When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives means most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving advice. solutions or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a warm and tender hand." - Henri Nouwen Song for today (I adore this song) Sweet Disposition by the Temper Trap

I am not sure it's piped in hot Daddy. But seems that this is evidence of being full of air at least yes!

Heya Fin I really don't blame you for failing to understand why it is a common theme of gay angst in the process of coming out. The first thing is to look at culture. Try for one moment to put yourself in the shoes of an Asian or Indian man who is gay and brought up in a strict Hindu or Muslim tradition. Heck they stone adulteresses in the street, and hang homosexuals. Extreme side of the coin yes. But culture has a fundamental role to play in the way we mould and shape our identity as we grow up. For this reason it will be common for people that find themselves facing the horror's of being ostracised by family first and foremost, then community, then possibly even society as they see it, that freaks out the mind of a young person. You are 18 now and look at the world through eyes that have witnessed some of what life has to offer. As you said yourself, it is a bloody scary world out there. For some more so in other ways than others. Take New Yorkers. In Sept 2001, they were ill at ease living in their own city. They didn't feel safe. They didn't know if tomorrow held new terrors, or another attack. That has its effect on the people, and more so on the generation of children growing up in that time frame. Had you at that time come out and said that you could understand why the Arab world were angry at America and spoke out in support of the Arabs in New York or even largely in much of the US at the time, people would scorn you, look down on you, make you feel different and certainly not part of the community or social circle. Many Asian people experienced horrible prejudice in this time, for no fault of their own, simply because of their skin colour. I have chosen this experience as an example of prejudice within a society at a particular time that you can identify with, as you saw it happening in your time. For many of the writers of gay fiction, they are expressing their own experiences through their stories. Life really is like this for some people mate. It is not easy to accept you are different from what is considered 'normal' for some. It is hard to work out why you have these different feelings when you are a youngster and you don't have anyone to talk to about things. Kids today are on the large part encouraged to talk about things. They are given a better understanding of things through sexual education, even if many of us adults don't fully agree with the methods of sexual education. Youngsters today are exposed to a world of sexuality almost from day one. I have met 8 year olds in the UK that know all about 'how babies are made'. Hell when I was 8 the most important thing was who's house I was going to for a swim today. In ending, here are my own experiences. I grew up in Africa, in a British Colonial society. I also grew up in a very Christian home, my whole family were strong in their faith, and as I am sure you know, sexual diviance as seen by the church and the chrisitan faith is a no no. That is also very much the way of the society that existed in the area I lived. Further to that it is still illegal to be gay in Zimbabwe, and that is another reason to add to the confusion. I kinda figured I was gay pretty early on, although I didn't really understand it till I was more into my mid teens. However, while I didn't hate myself because I was gay, I hated the fact I couldn't go on dates, couldn't be a normal kid growing up like my peers, holding hands and making out in public. I couldn't simply walk up to anyone and say I liked them. I often used to wonder why I felt these feelings that were so wrong in everyone's view. It was a sin to lie with another man, so why would I want to do it so badly. I mean why was this burden given to me? The angst for me came when I met a person, and for 5 years we were together, but in that whole time, NO ONE ever knew about us. Our closest friends had no idea at all. Our families never knew. That in so many ways caused so much pressure for us, that made my view of life, love and relationships sour. To this day I struggle with the idea that it is ok to be loud and out and proud of who I am. I naturally hide myself, drawn to the safety of anonymity and being under the covers, and on the flip side of the coin, I can't really understand how people can be so open and free about their sexuality. Maybe it is not me failing to understand it, and more me being jealous of the freedom you enjoy, I don't really know. But what ever it is, I can relate to the angst and frustrations I read of in so much of the gay fiction here on GA. I've lived through it and so maybe that is why I don't mind it so much. I hope that in sharing my own thoughts and ideas I can present the other side of the table for you to see, and if you try to place yourself in my shoes, then perhaps you could understand why when I write, my writing might be tainted with my own experiences. I can also tell you I admire your curiosity and desire to understand.

That is a stunning version of the song Layla. What an amazing voice.

My goodness. Where do all these hot blonde surfer looking men come from in the Scottish team???

Well, as long as it was pure and refined super air, then I guess it's not that bad!

Well in the first game the Welsh got a good kicking from the Irish in the first half. All my Welsh mates were crying for the return of Warren Gatland. Gotta say, the Irish defence was pretty stunning to watch in the second half. The pressure from the Welsh forwards was relentless and they dug in and stopped the attack. It is normally Wales that are the ones defending a slim lead on the line. Disappointing result for Wales who I was shouting for, but looking forward to seeing what happens in Paris next week. Bring on the Calcutta Cup

Really looking forward to it this year. Come on the Welsh!!!!!!

OMG you mean I was made at a service station

Now that sounds lush! Gotta try this!

I've marked this in my calendar Bill. Great idea and I'll certainly be sending one.