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Life is too short for Goodbye


Yettie One

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It is at times like this weekend that I am rudely reminded that despite the daily difficulties I face on my own, I am not alone in the world, and while there are times I feel very much alone, and at odds with all that is going on around me, there are others going through difficulties just as vivid and real to them as my own are to me.

 

Wrapping myself in a cocoon of my own making, getting lost in self pity and getting disillusioned by my circumstances is easy. I've written before about how selfish I feel at times, being wrapped up in the daily issues that demand my concentration and lead me to frustration and bouts of moaning and groaning. I often put it down to the condition I call being human. We don't like being in strife and hardship. I could list a hundred reasons to feel the way I do, and most people would empathise to some degree, or at the very least understand why I feel the way I do.

 

But it is not my own circumstances that have brought me to my knees this week. Nope, I suddenly feel quite lucky this week, despite the fact we all feel as if we have been to hell and back.

 

Let me give you a bit of background. When I lived in Wales, I met a family from South Africa with three kids, through my work. Two of the lads are autistic, one severely. The oldest lad at the time we were in contact was going through a hard time, feeling isolated and rebelling against the constant attention the two younger boys needed, and began to delve into drugs and chaotic behaviour. It was when he was arrested in a brawl outside a night club and called me as he was too scared to call his dad, that I decided to get involved. With the help of my mom and dad, I reached out and offered to help out.

 

For the sake of this blog let's call the teen Boyo. With his parents consent Boyo came and lived with us for a few months, and threw constant attention, love and attention he pulled himself right. I give most of the credit for this to my mom, who when the chips down and the situation needed it, stepped up to the plate and gave of herself, her time and patient dedication to a young family in need. For my part I took on the role of taxi driver! :P (so that is what being a parent is all about! :lol: ) This process drew us all very close together, and the two younger lads became a fond extension to our makeshift family, despite the challenges their of their condition.

 

The middle brother had a fascination with fishing. I think it was something to do with the calmness and solitude of it. He could sit for hours with steadfast concentration, and dogged determination while the rest of us would curse and cast and while away the hours. He also had a fierce loyalty to Boyo that I don't think I've ever seen between brothers.

 

While I lived in Wales, it was a regular Sunday afternoon tradition, even in the cold times, for the five of us, both fathers, the two boys and I to head down to Swansea pier and spend the afternoon fishing. In that time it took months before I was even acknowledged by the middle brother, credit to my father here who was treated with the same disdain, but whose experience and patience helped me weather the storm of moodiness, and even when he began to begrudgingly accept our presence, it was with a degree of hostility and suspicion. I guess in his young eyes I'd kidnapped his brother at one point, and he didn't like that fact.

 

Time moved on, boyo got a young lass pregnant, moved with her to London to be near her mom, and a wonderful young princess was born. She is a cutey to be sure. I moved on up to Yorkshire, and things worked out for the best....

 

Or so I thought.

 

So imagine my shock on Sunday to get a call from the middle brother in a mad panic. In the time I have been away from Wales, I have been in contact via Facebook with each of them, as you do, and tried to keep up with happenings, but you lose touch. I got wrapped up in my own affairs.

 

Turns out in this time that Boyo has been diagnosed as Paranoid Schizophrenic, sectioned, treated and released. In a bout of mania on Saturday night, he was convinced he was being pursued by the CIA, and his fiancée was a sleeper agent trying to kill him. He had held her at knife point for several hours, before running off, and taking every single pill given to him to control his symptoms. Sunday morning he was admitted to A&E in a critical condition where they fought to save his life. During all of this, the family were informed, and on his arrival at the hospital Boyo's father collapsed from a stroke, which they believe was brought on by stress complicated by his high blood pressure. Two in one day. No wonder the middle brother was wild and worried out of his mind when he called.

 

Mom and I hopped in the car and off we shot. I got a shock when I saw Boyo late in the afternoon. He's a changed young man. It is the first time I've ever walked into a room and seen a television like situation played out in real life. Tubes, drips, beeping machines. It was horrible. I don't ever want to experience something like that again if I can help it.

 

Sat there watching, I felt completely helpless. I know I've written a lot about telling people how you feel while you have a chance, and you know what, I couldn't help but sit there and look at Boyo and wish I'd listened to my own bloody advice. We spent a couple of days down there, until we had to get in the car and leave behind two fine people, struggling to survive another day, each for a different reason, yet each so clearly linked to each other and to us. It was too soon to say goodbye to either of them, and despite that they are in good hands, stable and doing well, you never totally feel safe for them or the future.

 

We live busy and hectic lifestyles. We often lose sight of the good in our lives, and fail to take time to appreciate the golden moments. I've said it before, I'll say it again. Learn to treasure them. Real friends are few and far between, and while you may not live in each others pockets, it is important to let each other know that despite the distance, regardless of the silent times, you love each other as much today as you did yesterday, last week, last year.

 

Sometimes life shakes us to the very core to remind us that no matter how bad we have got it, there are people out there that matter, need us and are important. Take a moment to remember them, they are there for you, you should be there for them. And yes, I'm going to bloody well listen this time round. If I don't I give you permission to spank me! :lmao:

 

I hope things are well with you all, and the weeks treating ya well. I hope that in some way, at some time this week, someone reaches out and touches you and reminds you that you're special. Even if you don't think so yourself. Most of all, I hope you don't mind me sharing a thought or two and ranting on at you as usual. :) Thanks for reading.

 

:hug:

 

Yettie out!

 

Thought for today - "I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade, and try to find someone whose life has given them vodka and have a party!" - Ron White

 

Song for today - Supremacy by Muse

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Sometimes when you think you are being selfish or self centered, it can be self-preservation instead.  I call it my wall of burdens. They are there, I am trying to deal, and I don't want to burden someone else with them so I stay behind them until I remove them sometimes quickly, and someitmes one at a time.

 

Prayers for this family, and for you and your mom Rob. Life has a way of getting our attention focused elsewhere when it may be needed.  Hugs a million. Hope things work out for the best.

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Roberto my man :hug: I answered your status not realising this was here, so I feel bad for that.

I know i'm a young pup to you, but I do know stuff. Like Kates oldest son moved away from her, got a lass and gave her two kids, and then started on drugs, he ended up in a crack house and then homeless. Kate got a call out of nowhere, from a hospital, saying he'd injected into his groin and got a life threatening clot. She went up and took him back with her and 5 years on he has a new girlfriend, a job his own house and a new daughter, and he's back in contact with his other kids too, so there is a way out, you just have to admit you need help.

You should feel very proud of what you did, and what your family did too. Your are an awesome person Roberto and I am proud to call you friend. Even if you do keep pushing that crap shit music on me :P

All the love in the world my man :hug:

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Rob,

 

Just found this. Sorry to hear of all the stress and things going on. Life gives us opportunities to share and grow. How you live your life is up to you, and the memories you leave are your legacy. It sounds as if you have been working hard on your legacy your whole life. Here if you need it.

 

Wayne

 

:hug:

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