Yettie One

In a way I felt like I was in the hunger games as I was reading this. That was till I got to the end, then I guess like Wayne I was wondering if it was about someone who's just realised that he's a dad, and maybe don't deserve to be one!

I am really starting to enjoy your prose. The flow here is so free, and while the out look is bleak, the strength of character, the will to go on shines through, a bold light of hope, in a world of darkness. Warm glow I found reading. Thanks.

Sometimes conversations can take place without words?

The visual element of street lights leaning over like anglers of the night was a master stroke. I loved that. The cold is never a nice place to be, but I do prefer the cold to the unbearable heat. Quandary! Hurry up and get those fifty steps done and get in the warm Damit!

I got an emotion of remembrance as I was reading. An ode to a past glory, a bygone age, a lost legacy. It is daunting when you pause to think of all we have lost!

Wow Layla you have a real ability to tug at the heartstrings. That was really emotional, moving, and a tear jerker. Poetry always stirs up so many thoughts and feelings within me, I tend to stay away from it. But there are some dark, tough poems that make sense to those with a heavy heart, render comfort to the downhearted, and speak to those that feel lost and alone with their feelings. Poetry seems to have a way of letting us know that it is ok to feel these things, gives us a way for people to express the thoughts and feelings that we don't want to say, or are too shy to share. This is one such occasion for me. Thank you.

As a family, a community, a nation, a people, this is a rally cry that come what may, despite the hurt, the pain, the devastation faith reigns supreme. We will rise above, we will not be defeated, we will not be overcome. In a year, a week, a day that America it would seem is under attack in so many different ways, these are powerful and moving words. I salute you, and stand shoulder to shoulder with you. People separated by an ocean, yet people united by our humanity and solidarity for one another.

I'm not sure the hurt ever really goes. I think we just learn to live with it. Loss on that level is something we are never equipped to deal with, and when the time comes to try, everyone handles it differently. The only truth we all have to face up to, is that one day, we all have to face these feelings in some way. Seeing another person hurting, or understanding that someone knows how bad you feel can be a place to start to feel again. These are powerful emotions, words that hanker close and near for many of us, and for anyone that feels them, says them, or privately thinks them, may time grant you grace to deal and find peace.

A snippet of a moment. This is pure joy in the romantic tingle of one persons cheeky ruby red glow. A fleeting glimpse at the power of love, the joy of happiness, and the elation and being admired. Simple words, elevated to a crescendo of emotion that makes my smile at the potential they share.

A hint of strangeness, a touch of doubt. A sense of mystery, a answer to nowt. Short and intriguing Delores.

There is seduction in dark shadows dancing in candle light. There is lust in the quiet whispers in your ear. There is passion in your gentle touch. There is yearning in your skin. This is a sultry, wooing for the reader, a tantalising tease of pleasure. Romance and allure written in black ink!

Ok that was unexpected. A knock from a Bronze god while giving a blow job results in an arrest and a death! WOW Good chuckle in there JoeJoe. Thanks

Damn I could see that ending coming, but it didn't lessen the impact, take away the hurt, or draw any less of a body blow. That was brutal. The very idea that at times we choose so foolishly to be stubborn. Lesson to be learnt in those words. Heavy stuff, but amazing all the same.

The voice of a man's conscience is never easy to find answers too. We can only do our best, and try be what we can to those we can. Poignant line of thought Bill.

Phew, hell I am glad to know I am not the only one that has a malfunctioning gay radar. I wish it were easier sometimes though. I mean, there are some pretty damn hot men that I'd rather fancy flirting with, but the idea of a fat lip does put me off chancing it a little!

That is a stunning piece of writing. I read and reread it, getting something new each time. It is deep, yet light, speaks of such loneliness, yet a delicate beauty, a wonderful sense of individuality, yet a complete sense of isolation. These are things we experience every day in life, and this poem touches the reader perfectly. Well done.

Hi Vaniley Ok you have a great hook in the opening chapter. There is this wonderful looking guy that everyone is going to want to know more about, so you left us hanging really well on that one. That is a good way of making sure that readers continue to read. You also have a good way of introducing the small detail that enhances the quality of the scene you are building as you create the environment for your characters. If I can, I'd make two suggestions to you. Once you have written a chapter, give yourself a rest period where you go away from the story for a while, then come back and read over what you have written. There are several reasons for this. Sometimes as you create, your mind is working faster than your fingers can type, so you miss out detail, or rush a sentence. When you look over the chapter again, you can find these gaps and fill them in. It is also a really good way to spot other simple mistakes like missing or incorrect words. I'd also suggest that you have a chat with the Writing Support Team and ask for someone to work with you to help develop your writing style. This is the start of a really great story, and with the right team behind you, it can be a lot of fun for you and your readers.

Wow I love the way I was sucked into the plot line as I read about the brothers. I deffo want to know more now that I've started reading. One of the things I liked most as I was reading was the sense of humanity that you have given the boys. Typical spoilt kids that have come together in a moment of desperation to take on the world and protect each other. Plus there is a Krew out there that I kind of like the sound of too, a group of rebels that resist the 'bitch' that would brainwash them into boredom should they end up in the orphanage. The flow of action and narration is balanced, and easy to follow which is important as you set the scene. Really enjoyed this as an opening chapter, and looking forward to seeing what comes.

I tend to have a hunt around on ebay. Sometimes find some really great cards and some pretty good deals on there too.

So I got a message out the blue today from a reader of a story I have been posting here at GA. It was actually really nice to hear from a reader, and get someone following up on a story that has kind of been standing stagnant for far too long. Thing is, I have kind of written myself into a bit of a corner on this one. The story takes place at the turn of the century a time when being gay was not openly done, and so we have two youngsters that are attracted to one another, and realising that they have feelings for each other, but I am at a complete loss as to how to write this and develop it into something physical in an authentic way. It is important to me that I maintain the feel of the story, in that I really don't want the love these boys share to feel typical or like anything we would regard as normal. The feelings and social ers that they would face are something far beyond what we might face today, and I really want to get that part of the story right. So. Of all of you kind people out there, is there anyone out there with any ideas? Anyone able or willing to help me develop and channel this part of my story?

Nice to see some interest. Ok had a look at Birmingham. Thing is it is a fair trek to the Gay Village part of town from the Railway station, but once there, everything is pretty well located in the same little quadrant for a good time. Manchester of course has Canal Street, which would mean that we could always do a bit of a pub crawl. Transport links into and out of both are really pretty easy. I know that both act as hubs in terms of both bus and trains. Looking at dates, based on some of the feedback here already, how about we look at the August Bank Holiday weekend? So that is either the Saturday 24th August or Sunday 25th August 2013. I am not sure how many other people have been involved in the past, but maybe if we arranged to meet for a meal at say a Chinese buffet or something, and then trooped to a nice pub where they have an outdoor seating area where we could all kick back and relax and socialise. Just some ideas to throw around. What do you guys and gals think?

Ok, so just for a bit of fun, how good is your Gaydar these days? I mean, do you think there has ever been a time when you were able to easily guess who was the gay man or woman? Actually, do woman use a Gaydar? (Never heard of them referring to one) Has your ability to spot a potential guy/girl to chat up increased or got more refined with age? I have to be honest, with all this media attention surrounding the concept that "gay is cool" I find I look around me these days, and any Gaydar I thought I might have once had, is shot to shreds now! I don't have a clue anymore! But then again, I am finding out more and more that people I was really quite close to in my younger years were gay! Makes me wonder if I ever had a Gaydar at all! So got me wondering what your experiences/thoughts were???

I had a feeling that tragedy was looming when the fight erupted. I must be honest and say that I found the flash backs a little distracting to the flow of the story. It is always difficult to introduce a past memory to a story when it is in full flow. I liked the way that you created a story within a story. That was quite a clever way to introduce the plot, then learn about it from a completely different POV. I liked that mix.

Um Wow, once again, I am really not sure what to say. That is a really emotive piece of writing Lugh. How the hell did you get into the mindset of someone in that position in the first place? Then once there, how did you manage to so eloquently express their thoughts and feelings so calmly? I have heard say that for people that are headed to their death, and have learnt to accept it, there is a calmness and acceptance that leads them to sane and rational thought. You certainly captured that in this. Clear. Abrupt. So damn sad. Wow.

Wonderful story mixed with emotion and empathy. I wish more people would take that kind of stand in society, but tolerance is won through a long, hard struggle with discrimination. I love that as a reader you finish reading this with a sense of hope.