Yettie One

What a cute and creative use of the prompt. I can totally understand why their folks had an insurance burning party when they hit 23 lol. Poor insurance company was probably just as relieved! I also liked the fact there was no tragedy to deal with. The story just flowed and left you with a happy feeling of hope and goodness at the end. Thanks Bill that was Awesome.

I've seen this short, sharp, eloquent use of words used once before, and it amazed me. I've never been able to fathom how a writer can use just one single word to convey so much meaning and progress that through a whole arc of thought. It amazes me. I really admire this Foster. Wish I had this ability and skill with words. Fantastic poem, one of my fav in a long time.

Ok, I am not sure I got the sense of this one as vividly as the other two, but still it is an emotional poem. Awesome submission, I have to say Celethiel.

So smooth, yet so real. The emotion is alive and dripping off the words and I could almost see a man kneeling weeping as he pondered. That is a stunning poem.

Oh wow. I got such a sense of presence while I read, please allow me to share, and I pray my vision might not seem offensive. I guess the two things that kind of set the feel for me were the mention of whip and crow. I got a sense of an accused woman from the Reformation or Thirty Years War convicted of being a witch and sentenced to death. The words were like a echo of her realisation of her fate, and acceptance of it, the sorrow with which she had to bare it, and words to remind all those of what she had to endure, guilty or not. Powerful. Really wonderful work Celethiel.

A final act of copulation ey! Nice and passionate and very real. The emotion was thick and laced with genuine meaningful love. Two men, caught up in tragic moments, uncertain times, and the with a huge goodbye hanging over their epic love. Wicked chapter Renee.

Is this PTSD going on??? Something is not right with Mark! He's hiding more than he's letting on. I dunno, maybe I am mad, but he's really struggling with something deep. I had pizza tonight, and reading about them ordering Chinese suddenly makes me wish I'd ordered Chinese. Damn you Renee! I'm drooling for a nice chicken chow mein! Grrrrrrr

Erm nope, not the ending I expected at all. To be fair, I was kind of wondering how you were going to move things along, as I could kind of sense that Trey would be proper uncomfortable about leaving Mark in his present state of mind, and who better to call right? He's a wise one, and seems to be one hell of a catch. I'm glad for this development, even though it comes at a real trying time for the two boys.

You know, the crazy thing is as much of a blur time becomes when that news hits you, it is a moment in your life that you will always be able to remember with crystal clarity in the years to come. I remember feeling like this when my dad died. I was a zombie, operating on some weird sort of auto pilot, doing the things I knew needed to be done, but not really knowing I was doing them, until after. Long after, in the quiet of the night when the moments come back to live with you in vivid technicolour. I am kinda worried about Mark. It's only just dawned on him he is going to have to face this and deal with it without Trey at his side. I hope he's strong enough.

Ah shit. Drama galore going on here gurl! Well that's thrown a complete tool set in the works, never mind the spanner! Hmmmmm, could leave a very vulnerable Mark over exposed when Trey has to go. Wow, how is that all going to work out? You do have a way of ramping up the tension hun!

Hmmmmmmmm Ok, I am not sure I understood why Mark lost it as much as he did. He knew that Trey was pushing his buttons because of stress, he's been there and felt that, so surely he should have given it room. Still, I am glad they stopped and talked it through. It is not the kind of thing that just goes away and should be dealt with head on in much the way they did. Pressure and a deep underlying fear in both of them is only going to make the tension more tangible and real, and confronting it together like that is going to make it easier to cope. Glad they are sensible. Oh wise writer!

So good to be back with these two. Glad you are posting again. Goodbye's are never easy, and in such a circumstance, even more so. Problem with such goodbye's are that they seem to continue over and over as we say goodbye to loved one's, friends, familiar places, our sense of security. It leaves you feeling drained. Feel for Mark and Trey, but slightly more so for Trey on this occasion.

It is funny in a way how a younger person wouldn't think twice about accepting an offer of assistance in this case, yet as you grow older and wiser you are more inclined to be more cautious about putting others out, whether they genuinely want to help or are doing it out of some sense of obligation. I kind of had to smile to myself as I felt empathy with Gary and Diane. Trey probably should give mom and dad some more of his time, but I know how he feels, wanting to spend every available moment with Mark. Would you kill Mark????? Ahem, oh need you ask such a question my dear? I do suspect that there is something rather unpleasant coming in the future though.

Memories of our first time are things we carry with us throughout our lives. For Owen, his first time is the defining moment of his life, and the moment he found the reason to live and survive, they are memories of a golden boy he's never stopped loving.

I am not quite sure how I want to be remembered. The most vivid recollection I can call on was that constant smell of cordite which hung in the air after the bombardments began. It was so thick you could almost taste it. And then there was the noise. More than anything, that noise shook my soul. It was a constant attack on every sense a man had stuck in them miserable trenches. The mud, the rain, the fear of death… I could live with those, process them, accept them, deal with them, but that inc

A much more mission orientated part of the story in this chapter. Was nice to see the ship gell in and get under way. Crew seem capable and well selected. The Commander seems to have everything well under control, even his taste in men. Loving the historical tid bits of the story.

Ok, really felt the flow in this chapter was smoother and easier to follow than the previous chapter. Well done for bringing a team in behind you to help, that is certainly going to enhance the experience. I really do enjoy the way you throw in challenges to so many issues that are at play in the world. Your knowledge from your wide arc of reading material has given you some really amazing detail to enrich the plot line as you develop the story. Explaining masturbation to an 11 year old is never easy, but then again, we must maintain the knowledge that Alexander is still only 16, so it is not that unusual for a youngster to go to him for hands on experience so to speak. I had expected more action while he was home around the Dryads. So, got to ask this one. Is the idea of plundering the ocean floor for more fossil fuels to continue to provide cheap energy for the developing world to do away with poverty at some point in the future, not in the long term going to be more detrimental to the planet through fossil fuel pollution and human waste tends? Also, I have a consideration, or thought in the back of my mind that poses a serious question about underwater mining. On the surface when we go mining, we leave huge cavities of space behind us as we go. Now on the surface where there is no or little pressure baring down on the crust as there would be at depth in the ocean, the chance of a collapse is mitigated or reduced by man made construction techniques that keep the mining tracks up. I wonder how underwater mining will deal with these issues, although I am certain that you have thought of and will explain these points as we go along.

It is too easy to side step the alternate reality basis of the plot and settle into our world where so much of the 'our life' action would seem so implausible. I find myself thinking Really? as I read things, then have to pause to remind myself that in another time, another place, yes maybe a 16 year old could take control of the largest company in the world. I must admit that I did find the action sequences very quick to change and somewhat difficult to keep up with. At the time things happen within the text, they are jarring and very sudden, leaving me on several occasions thinking, erm, how did that suddenly happen. In the bigger picture, I really enjoy the tech basis of this story. The stuff you are writing about is fascinating, and incorporating them into the story is really interesting. I also enjoy the way you blend the natural realm with a fantasy realm in such a creative way. I do have to ask though, are Oak, Oak and Oak triplets!

Jeeeeeesh Billy is a sex monster on legs. Bobby in the mix now too. So let's see, that's Sam, Brandon, Jimmy, AJ, Simon, Lee, Bobby and of course Jamie...... Almost one for every different day of the week!

Argh, so much pain Poor Jimmy. Poor Billy. I'm really glad he made the effort. Takes a big man to be there for the small guy. I just hope he sorts things with Sam soon.

Ooooooopus Jeeeesh Billy, putting the blame for Jimmy at Sam's door is really low mate. Poor kid might have had a telling off coming, but I'd say that giving him both barrels was just coving up your own feelings of guilt and projecting them a little dude. Hope you have the balls to man up and admit that to Sam, he deserves an apology. And um, yeah, rubbing the place Jammie touched your shirt all over your face is just a little weird.

LOL Not a well person. So, he's got a date for next weekend with AJ ey? Seems like AJ is a lot more confident and aware of himself. Might be a good thing for Billy to be around someone who's comfortable in his own skin.

Seeing the world going on around you while you are struggling to deal with something tragic is really difficult to take, so I can't blame Billy for wanting to lash out at people he sees smiling or laughing. I am also glad that he found some empathy from Brandon. Brandon really does seem like a honey.

Argh shit. That just proper sucks. Stupid boy, I feel so sad for him. I was quite chuft Billy had got Brandon's number, but then that news about Jimmy just sucked.

Yeah, dude, that is deffo some sort of bucket list going on with Jimmy man. He's going to do something stupid. Kinda makes all that happens with AJ seems kinda dull and meaningless. I'm worried about Jimmy.