Yettie One

Beautifully descriptive and touching. A glimpse of sadness a trace of dusk, yet beautiful in meaning and thoughtful to us.

What a wonderful orgy of words. The character development is sublime, and the setting perfect. The theme of the story is sad, yet hopeful, bitter, yet light. It gives so much, yet resolves nothing. Two men who find solace in each other for a brief moment of time. It is left to the reader to formulate the future. But for right now, it is just perfect. Really great read. Thank you.

Well, that was a mixed bag of tricks. Some really good reads in that lot. Thanks everyone for a wicked way to spend a weekend. xx

Very reminiscent of the Matrix with the streams of code and binary numbers on monitors all over the place. It almost felt too short. So much plot line condensed into a tight frame of time, I felt I wanted more. I needed more of Poll and Costa, wanted to garner more from this world they lived in and understand its complexities, but that is only a credit to your creation and plot line. Poll was a wonderfully rich character, even if sub human, and you developed his nature and his part of the plot line well as it unfolded. Your use of language was also impressive. Had me reaching for a dictionary once or twice. Quaint sci fi tale, even if it is somewhat sad in the way you end it. Good job. x

Talk about a disaster waiting to happen.... I've always found that those plans you make on an assumption that someone will think the way you want them to think, never seem to work. I'm not surprised things went off in a totally different direction to the one they'd hoped at the dinner party. Just lucky I guess that two youngsters had a hundred grand lying around to invest.

LOL His sister made him a bear and then he got hunted by Duncan! OMG Poor boy, what a way to come back to the world. I was almost as confuddled as he was at times. haha So a baby Elf king was the delivery in the night ey! Interesting. Lovely short story Wayne. Really nicely brought together over the plot to a conclusion that does leave you wanting more.

The helpless and the predator, a vicious circle of desperation and dependencies. A helplessly futile world. A sad glimpse of the pathetic inability to control one's urges. Stark, blunt and abrupt. It is sad that there is always someone profiting off of the weakness in others. A very well presented short story of the pain and helplessness of addiction Delores.

Crumbs. No wonder they say it's nearly always a close family member that's involved when it comes to murder. Hahahaha I'm surprised the carving knife only made short work of the bird and not a tongue or two. interesting little tale. Spice of life to be able to laugh at the misfortunes we endure at a time down the road when hindsight becomes an advantage.

What an oddity. (in the very best way possible) I totally never saw that result coming. Had no idea Sam would be a girl, or that they'd get together. Gender issues and transgender affairs are one part of the sexuality matrix I've never had much understanding or concept of, other than the few stories that exist here, it is something I've never really explored at all. Having said that, I've felt love for a woman once before, in much the way this unfolds. Maybe a little similar but not quite the same. Interesting perspective you choose to use for the narrative as well. Present tense is so unusual in so many ways, when you do find it, its a massive breath of fresh air. Really like how you develop your plot line too. Creative and very nicely done sweet pea. Really enjoyed it. Thanks x

And I bet all 15 are housed in the kitchen! Awwww KC that was a wonderfully cheerful, yet amazingly lucky kitchen incident. Funny how our good intentions so often land us into interesting and alarming situations. You know, I spotted the fact that you'd written you were waiting for the oil to boil the first time, yet it didn't fully register till you mentioned it on the phone. HAHA Just goes to show, even kitchen pro can miss all the danger signals when enjoying a great story. Thanks for sharing hunk. That was a great smiling tale. xx

To love or to do what is expected of you? What a quandry. Sad story. At times I found it hard to keep track of, it has it pace delicately weaved between past and present which was slightly distracting at times. I guess I just wanted more of the simple love uncomplicated by duty and war and expectation. Good read, thanks for sharing.

Oh bloody hell....... You cannot end it there!!!!!!!! Don't you know us readers want to know it all????? argh! Really like the fact that the whole story unfolds and revolves around a discussion. There are really only two central characters to the mix, yet we learn so much and want so much for Sam and Paul. I have not read any others in the mix, but feel that there is much to give with this story. Really solid writing. Breeds an empathy in the reader for Paul, and we all know a Maya out there somewhere. Could almost smell her perfume standing there as she got to the kitchen, waiting for Paul to acknowledge her. Yes, great entry. Thanks for sharing.

Very tastefully done, but in all that swerving and lurching across the road, I'm surprised Axel didn't kill someone before they finally got to try being together. I really liked the natural discourse the plot took. It flowed well, took the reader on the journey with reliability and a steady build in tension and desire to see a satisfactory conclusion for the central characters. Totally enjoyable entry, and really liked what you did with the theme. x

So a healthy, smart, successful family is born. I was quite chuft to find that there was a tid bit more to read. Nicely done. x

Fishie got an Avicii crush???

Love, jealousy, missed opportunities, chance and objection. So many possibilities the mind boggles. Left to interpretation I found I wondered more than answered anything. Funny how something as personal as someone's name can fade into insignificance in the minds of people, so easily wiping the real status or importance of one to another in the eyes of a third.

Half rabbit, half dragon. Wow that is a new one! Got that he was a ghost fairly quickly, but didn't really guess the rest of the story would develop like that. Kinda raises more questions than it gives answers. Make you want so much more. Really interesting, yet sad.

It is so easy when being "religious" to become holier than though. We become so zealous about being spiritual and righteous that the lines between humility and humbleness become blurred. We become obsessed with the speck in our brothers eye and totally miss the plank in our own. It is not meant as malicious, yet to be on the receiving end of it does harken unto hypocrisy as not one of us is pure and white, and we will all fall from grace. I love the fact that you have brought this into the story. Even some that is usually unflappable can blow a fuse when they are faced by that two faced finger pointing. He'll bounce back I hope, but the reality of this part of the story is superb.

Haha So the "old married couple" are an item ey! I did not see that one coming I have to be honest. Mind you, the subtle clues were there all along to be seen. When I stop and think about the hints and suggestions that were dropped by those close to me as I grew up, and realising now in hindsight that it was the way that people learnt to test the waters and find out if there was any hope at all of a chance, I kick my blindness. If I'd been more aware, my life would have taken a very different direction! Glad the orderly was a decent person.

Whoa hell, they took on the RSM??? I've never heard that one done before. These boys are fierce!

Acceptance of the situation that quickly? Maybe the fact that his feelings are reciprocated. Maybe he draws strength to accept his fate from Riaan. Not sure I agree that he'd be able to transition that fast, but that is only my humble opinion. Parade sucks. Blisters suck more, and two socks do not stop bloody blisters, just slow them down and make your feet stink from sweat. Good ol meths. I was well chuft to spot "Sies" in the story earlier. Wow so many memories come flooding back man.

Some semblance of resolve. Of course Riaan was going to be gay, he'd been checking out Johan just as much as he'd been checking out the fine Red haired boy. Tut. Glad he came to the rescue when he did. Quick thinking, but then, as a gay man in Africa, you learn to become a good fibber. Reality of their situation as recruits dawns it seems. They are fucked! Good chapter Chris.

Aiiii! Crumbs. Not sure he should have said that out loud! Superbly worked chapter, and the awakening in Johan is like a knife to the gut. The emotion of it is raw, in a culture where the realisation he is dealing with will not accepted, this reality he feels, the truth he realises causes such distress within Johan, and you capture this so intensely. Where does he go from here? These poor boys assume that they will survive Basic Training by winging it still. So much is yet to be learnt. The effort that has gone in to carrying the descriptions and notations of each item in its venecular use but also its army lingo, translated into laymans terms is remarkably well done. This attention to detail should be commended.

OMG That barber fight sequence was pure bliss. I was laughing so hard I had tears streaming down my cheeks. Your sentence structure, and formulation is perfect. Without even alluding what what words Janni might have chosen in insulting the barbers parentage, I could hear what he said. Oh Chris that was a wonderful chapter. Thank you.

When you are young and naive, everything is an adventure, even hardship. You capture the enthusiasm and anticipation so well through the passage of time on the train, even in such appalling conditions. The camaraderie and bravado of young men off to become men. The brutality of MP's on power trips. Even the sly awakening of sexual attraction between the central characters. It is all going on in the opening gambit. The one thing that struck me was the underlying humour in much of the chapter. A few times I found myself grinning and able to reflect and appreciate things I'd experienced that brought back both fond and bitter memories. But more than that, was the familiarity of the language, the nature of the characters, the culture and nature of people I know and understand. That moved me, back to a time when I was young, naive and brash. Sometimes I crave to go back to those days. Really great chapter Chirs. I knew I was going to enjoy this, even if it may well be tough at times.