Yettie One

Throw a log on the drama fire why don't you. Fuck it, make it two! Ok, so Erin had to come out. If the football team captain is behind him, and he's going out with the soccer team captain, he's got some pretty big clout behind him. Faculty could make life difficult, but that is their job, and if it wasn't this relationship, it would be something else. School staff are a students burden to bare. Things are getting interesting, so let's press on and see where you are taking us next oh wise one.

Oh! Funny I didn't expect Chase to be a knob! Still a bit of juice at school is a huge temptation for anyone ey! I wonder if Jim is silently feeling vindicated by this head on words of caution the day before now? Your opening sex scene is hugely erotic. No action to scream about, but enough to make a proper gay man sweat! Love it. Building the drama one step at a time and I love the sibling ties between Jameson and Erin.

Yuck. Like it or not, Jim's rebuke had to sting. Not nice to be warned off your hidden crush. Oh my, that's only going to enforce Luke's mental resolve that it'd be better to cut and run. Patience my dear boy. Patience please! The ebb and flow of developments mixed in with the monotony of life, being on detention, study hall, homework, balances out really nicely throughout each chapter, and even when the action is chaotic, there is a logic to follow, a reason the reader can relate to. I also really enjoy the way you use a subtle build up of tension toward the end of each chapter, to the extent that without realising, at the end of each, the reader is almost compelled to move to the next chapter and forget putting the computer to bed.

"his lips are illegally soft and tempting" what a brilliant descriptive term Sasha. I must remember that! A few tiny grammar issues in that chapter dude. Nothing major, just an observation and note for ya if you ever do a tidy up. I love the nuances of each boy, the way you've made them similar, yet expressly different. I love the fact that the one is actively engaged in setting his brother up with the object of his desire, making him as actively invested in this relationship as either of the others. The fluffy fun nature of the narrative is so airy and light, it is refreshing from the doom and gloom deeply emotional rides that tend to be the norm. I really am loving this style of writing bud. Great going.

Gaydar in overdrive and caution to the wind! Handbrake!!!!! I didn't see that Jameson was going to turn out to be straight, that was an interesting development! And what a cock tease too. He knew he was being checked out in the shower, and blatantly called his ass hot. Naughty boy! So....... Are these two really twins? And what the hell was Erin blushing for? And both have super cool blue eyes?????? OMG what a threesome that'd be! Ubber gay twin fetish fantasy moment! The flow kind of galloped all over in this chapter, which at one point I found a little distracting. From study hall, to gym, to fields, to showers. Hell it was all going on. I think the part that really didn't kind of work for me was the jogging. Too short, too rushed didn't seem to make sense in terms of time and pace. Other than that being my only criticism, I enjoyed that, even if your plot arcs are causing me to wonder what the hell you have up your sleeve mr.

How very random. Rather bold of a new comer to the school to verbally berate a senior, a popular guy and a team captain! The pretty cheerleader must have cojones the size of Godzilla. The elegant lace of humour through the text is really clever, and I find myself chuckling regularly as I read along, and that the read really pleasant for the reader. I love the subtle intelligence of the character, his youthful energy and quick reactions. That rollercoaster of emotion and hormonal ups and downs is reflected well in your build up of the character and each circumstance he faces. I suspect that there is an unholy amount of chaos brewing between the new boy and our central character though. Awesome chapter Sasha.

I love the quirky sentence structure you are using, the originality of expression and the fresh feel of this story. First person is tough to write consistently, but always fun to read. We've all read a high school drama, but there is just something about this that's cool. Interesting characters, a typical but intriguing plot line, and solid flow for an opening chapter. The scene is set for the reader, Awesome start bud.

Hmmmmm I wonder if Billy realises that he goes on and on about the same thing. He's described Bradon in the same way almost every time he talks of him. Talk about obsessed.

I'll have to remind Billy when he is bitching about a bad day and just doesn't want to talk to anyone that this is proably how Jimmy was feeling. It rings very true to life though, that we get in a hump with other people when they are in a mood, but don't pause to consider sometimes we are just like that ourselves. I guess Simon doesn't know what to make of Billy. But time will set that straight. And he's a bit smitten with AJ ye?

Ok, so I am at a total loss of what the hell to think about Jimmy. He's confusing me as much as Billy. Still it makes it all very interesting, Very forward of AJ, and I am surprised that Billy didn't get a grilling afterwards from the other two!

Funny how life throw curve balls like that. Day to day we never really know where we stand! ;( Sounds like Jimmy is fighting with Depression. Wonder if all is ok at home? Bullying can be awful but if he's got no support to fall back on, he could really be in a world of pain.

LOL 2 hours on the phone! Wow Yeah, parents fightings is never a good thing when you are a kid. And I guess Billy's learnt that a sexual advance is not such an easy thing, especially if it is an advance on someone that is not expecting or really wanting the advance. Poor kid.

Dude, you're 14 now, if you are expecting me to read your daily dairy till you are 50 just to find out if you get some, you got another think coming! What the hell is up with Brandon?

Short, sharp, full of colours, texture, spice and passion. As always Lilansui, your writing is profoundly moving. Love and romance caught up in stunning blue eyes and some salsa moves. I love how you fashion your words into a flowing swirl of emotion. Sweetly charming my friend. I loved it.

So the infected are surviving in some way. That is interesting. That would mean that if they were to use fire, they would have to worry not just about the light, but the smoke too, as it might be smelt in an urban environment very easily. I am also not completely sure I understood how the infected got so close or not, or even if they did get that close. It got a bit confusing there. But interesting development to the story. At least Daniel is not alone.

Wow. World wiped out by rabies. Ok a really interesting plot line. I have to ask though, what is the moaning? If that is the infected, one has to wonder how they are still alive considering that their food source is now just as scarce if not irradiated after the break out and initial attack. I would suggest that this part of the narrative needs a little clearer explanation for the reader to understand. Another consideration is you'd expect most people to have some level of supplies in the house. Tinned food, dry food etc. Yes the level would be different for each home, but I'd have expected that to last a bit longer than 7 days. There are just considerations that I'd spotted, and sharing them with you. Lets see how things unfold going forward.

Argh. Even I've got a crush on Jamie Cross now!!!!!! Nah, but it I go back to my own days at school and recall a guy that I got to see changing once, and what effect it had on me. I was smitten for the rest of my school days on that boy. The sad thing Billy will realise one day, is that even if you do come 'out' you still can't always just be 'you'!

Ya know, I feel sorry for Billy. To have a crush on your best mate is the worst situation to be in. Argh. I mean if you think about it, at some point Sam is gunna have a partner, most likely a girlfriend, and if Billy is having issues with Sam being excited about HIM having a date now, what is it going to be like when he has to face the fact that someone else is kissing and holding and tasting his dream.... Awww shucks. That's gunna really suck for him. Glad the date went ok, but I do worry that with it going well, that's a forbearer of bad news and hurt further down the line for someone.

Oh my. So he has a date. Dear me. That's gotta suck. Love how he says Sam will be more thrilled about it than he is. He needs to pull his finger out and do something about Jimmy. Grrrrrrrrrr

Haha, you can't help but smile at Billy's delusion with Simon. I mean I am not quite sure Simon is all he thinks he might be, lol. It is a good point you bring up in this chapter. It is so easy to say if they leave they really were not your friends and you are better off without them, but who want's to be lonely, outed in retaliation and left wondering why you ever bothered to come out. Things were just fine before you did, so why cause a storm in a tea cup right. In trying to look for a way to feel better when we are hurt by a friend abandoning us, we come up with a ridiculous logic that is in some ways true, but does not make it any easier or less hurtful! I really like the insight on this in the chapter.

Ah huh. Well, it would seem that young Billy is about to have himself a girlfriend. I wonder how he's going to take that!

Oh dear, it sounds like a cold war! Poor Billy. Brandon is being a bit strange, but maybe he is gay eh? I really think Jimmy needs a friend, and hope Billy reaches out a little more. Sam needs to take a chill pill, lol, and I haven't got a clue what the hell Billy's gunna do about Joanna now. Oooopus. He's caught between a rock and a hard place. ;(

ROFL Blow the football team for quarters. haha. Oh that is too cute. So the Joanna thing looks interesting. I wonder how he is going to handle this, as I doubt it is going to just go away, and there is no magic fairy waving a wand for you Billy boy!

I love a good 'vivid' dream like that. You never remember them for very long after waking up, but they do make such an impact on you for the time that you can remember them. Wonder what's up with Jimmy. There's more to this one me finks. And I do like the sound of the sports store boy! Oh my!

Awwww shucks, that had me giggling lots. Haha. I do love how you have your character express himself. He's a great kid at heart, but my goodness, he does have a horny mind.