Wynter

I'm only 26 but I have to admit to feeling old once in a while. It seems like only yesterday that I was still studying and now I'm 5 years into my profession. It doesn't help that, as a teacher I'm working with young people who are all just beginning a journey that I feel like I've finished. I've made it past all of the fun youthful milestones and now it's just work and buying a buying a house, trying to stabilise my career. I long since gave up on hitting the clubs because as a teacher, it's too potentially embarrassing and dangerous in a town with only one real gay bar. So yeah, I feel old sometimes especially compared to friends in other careers whose lives are still less constrained than mine and who don't have to worry so much about how their public behaviour will be scrutinised. I think the point is that people struggle with transitions between different stages of life and that going from your teens to late 20s is quite a significant change. More so, I would suggest than moving from high school to university.

For a few brief moments I thought this thread might mean Dom had finally returned to complete WT. But alas... I've just finished rereading some of Dom's classics and they gave me the same twisted stomach of excitement and sadness they did the first time I read them years ago. It always hurts reading those last chapters knowing that his writing is finite and that there won't be a new chapter for me to devour next week. I found the the discussion here fascinating, especially Jim's comments. As one of the adoring legions back in the day I really hope I didn't contribute to the pressure. I did message him once to thank him and he gave me a brief but sincere sounding reply. Dom's writing helped to get me through the dark years of my late teens when I felt like I was alone. TOU in particular really helped me to feel normal, although it has left me forever jealous Quinn whose journey I related to much more than Owen's. I'd love nothing more than to see a new post, even if he abandoned the old stories and started anew. He had such a talent for creating hope, and given how many young people there are going through the anguish of denial and self doubt and persecution, I can only hope that there will be a Dom there to tell them that they're normal when they need to hear it.

Jude Landon - The Ordinary Us Sexy, blonde, lean mechanic guy is hot for obvious reasons but let's face it, the stories on here are full of hot guys. What makes him stand out for me is his kindness, loyalty, independence, confidence and sense of fun. Also he could fix my car for me

Your Type is ENFP Extraverted Intuitive Feeling Perceiving Strength of the preferences % 22 50 25 11 It's a little creepy how accurate the descriptions were. Not sure that I like being so predictable

The Lo(n)g Way, still a favourite and I happily devoured everything else Dom had written shortly after. Really wish he'd update With Trust. *sigh*

Ditto. Jude's been my favourite ever since I first started reading Dom's stories. I've never been so eager for a new chapter since TOU was still being written.Those were the days, Dom posting regularly... Silly Vic, didn't you notice the total hottie dating Owen?

Not sad that they want friends, sad that so many people were unable to find someone to talk to outside of the internet. I've added about 5 people to MSN after chatting through websites so I've gained some friends myself. The people I'm referring to seem to lack friends as a result of hiding their sexuality. In regards to 5, I think you're probably onto something. The hook-up sites have a lot of closeted men so that could play a role. It's certainly been less prevalent on the more relationship orientated sites.

So, I came out to my friends about a year ago, maybe a but more now. My family are still in the dark and shall remain so for a while yet I hope. While I've grown much more comfortable with telling people and controlling my paranoia, I've still yet to really delve into relationships and such. Partly because I just didn't know where to find other gay guys. The local gay bar isn't much help for finding the type of guy I like and the only ones you can really spot are the stereotypical types which I don't really go for anyway. So I decided to venture onto the internet and try these so called 'dating' sites. I've noticed a couple of things. 1) There are a LOT more of us around than I would have dreamed. 2) If you want a decent service expect to pay for it. Also expect the most expensive ones to have fewer people on them. 3) The name of the site tells you A LOT. But at the same time, the dirty looking ones often have lots of normal people who aren't interested in hook-ups or orgies or other things that don't bear mentioning. 4) There are many, many people just looking for friends which is a bit sad really. Although, it is a great way for closeted people to reach out and maybe gain come confidence. I've made a couple of new friends myself which has been great because my only gay friends are Lesbians. 5) Lots of the profiles specify an interest in 'straight acting' or masculine men. Which seems to indicate I'm not alone in having difficulty finding like minded gay guys. It also says a lot about the power of stereotypes and the visibility of a small minority; are the stereotypes completely wrong? I'd always sort of seen myself as unusual. So far, I've made a couple of MSN friends and another guy I'm quietly excited about that I hope to meet sometime soon. SO that's my experience. I thought I'd post about it because other people might find it useful and/or have some insight into the stuff I mentioned above. Anyone else care to share?

Levis in Aus are roughly $100 if not more. I tend to just buy cheapo ones from Target because the nice ones all seem intent on showing my ass crack to the world and that doesn't go down well when you work with children.

I turn 23 in a month and frankly it freaks me out a bit because I still remember starting uni, being a teenager and having no real responsibilities. That said, I heartily agree with the vid, a great age to be... if only we could freeze it

I'm no expert, but my understanding is that so long as you keep it clean there's no need for circumcision other than a preference for that appearance. Some people may suffer from particular conditions that make it beneficial but the majority of men don't need it at all. This isn't the most academic discussions of circumcision but it's probably one of the more interesting Pen and Teller on Circumcision

I still love The Ordinary Us. Quinn was a bit annoying but I suppose for some people, coming out is as much about reconciling yourself as it telling everyone else. But Mostly I just want my own personal Jude. He remains my favourite hottie from Dom's stories.

I love the HP books. They're well written and imaginative. For one, they appeal to my own childhood fantasy of a magic school. But beyond that they have a vividly imagined world full of history and politics, love and revenge and culture and hatred and... you get the point. Every time a new one came out I devoured it even as I dreaded finishing it, hoped for the next one but felt sad every time I finished a new one, one step closer to the series ending. Twilight, I also read and liked. But it was a much more shallow obsession. Basically, I wanted my own Edward. A romantic, hot, eternally youthful, wealthy boyfriend. Someone who loved me to a pathetic extreme. Once I actually took a long hard look at the plot, it's characters and, quite frankly, the bland writing, I fell out of love. HP is a story, I'll hold in my heart forever and pass on to younger generations whenever I can. Twilight? Well I honestly think the fad will wear off and history will forget them pretty quickly. Which is probably a good thing because, quite frankly, the relationships it glamourises aren't exactly healthy.

Supermassive Black Hole - Muse I know it suffers from association with Twilight but it's still awesome. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nu7IPCqGDjk&feature=related Oh baby dont you know I suffer? Oh baby can you hear me moan? You caught me under false pretenses How long before you let me go? You set my soul alight You set my soul alight (You set my soul alight) Glaciers melting in the dead of night And the superstars sucked into the supermassive (You set my soul alight) Glaciers melting in the dead of night And the superstars sucked into the 'supermassive' I thought I was a fool for no-one Oh baby I'm a fool for you You're the queen of the superficial And how long before you tell the truth You set my soul alight You set my soul alight (You set my soul alight) Glaciers melting in the dead of night And the superstars sucked into the supermassive (You set my soul alight) Glaciers melting in the dead of night And the superstars sucked into the 'supermassive' Supermassive black hole Supermassive black hole Supermassive black hole Glaciers melting in the dead of night And the superstars sucked into the supermassive

Agreed. I know it's stupid but I get really put off by unattractive names. Nels works though, sounds much less formal and it's kinda cute.

You can suggest all you like Good Sir, it's a free internet after all. May I just say that when instructing others on the value of not being condescending it's best not to litter your own post with condescending assumptions. I don't mind being corrected if I've made an error but your tone really was unnecessarily rude. I apologise for assuming you had no experience with teenagers. I'll agree my comment was condescending and presumptuous. As to the argument, I still don't agree. I fail to see how Rory's sequence of stupid behaviours and childish reactions make him a better person than Quinn. He continually runs from conflict instead of resolving it, which is quite similar to what Quinn did really except Quinn ran inward and withdrew. Regarding my 'house of queers' comments. In no way would I consider gay couples raising a child to be on par with Desert Dropping. What I considered unrealistic was the sheer luck that Rory experienced landing in a family as perfectly suited to him as theirs was. It's just too perfect for real life.

So I was looking at the website today and I noticed a couple of things in the descriptions of the stories. Hello Stupid TLITE Amusing, but very confusing for someone not acquainted with our community's little inside jokes. With Trust Nelson meets a painter. Ummm yeah. No doubt this will have the readers racing in. I was thinking perhaps we could suggest an improvement for Dom since he's obviously busy and struggling to get his stories written amongst his other commitments. Wynter

You don't find the idea of an intensely frustrated, frightened teenager struggling to come to grips with his sexuality and turning to prescription medicine to help him withdraw from his social group believable? Quinn is entirely believable, as someone who works with teenagers and was one not so long ago I can assure you of that. Your own experiences may not reflect Quinn's but that doesn't make them unrealistic. The fear and self loathing he displays is quite common amongst teens who grow up in homophobic environments. As for Rory, I loved DD, I really did. But the 'House of Queers' was the least realistic thing Dom has ever written (except for that story about the dog ). It's a total fantasy situation. Rory's extreme self absorption is the only thing that could logically be pointed to as a reason for his not seeing it earlier.

Personally, I'm an atheist. I generally get along fine with religious people so long as they aren't preachy and they respect my right to disagree with them. From experience, Satanism can also mean a form of selfishness or hedonism. May not be about the big dude in red at all. But then that presents a problem in itself; selfish people don't make good boyfriends.

Jude Landon from The Ordinary Us by Dom Luka. Sexy blonde mechanic, independent, sensitive and emotionally intelligent but with all sorts of vulnerabilities that me him oh so adorably real. There were times when I was in my late teens where I'd wish for him to come save me like he did for Quinn. Did I mention how hot he is? *sigh*

For someone who dislikes them so much you do seem to spend an awful lot of time looking at them. On a more serious not, I think that what you're struggling with is the the idea that their idea of what a gay man is might force you to change your own. It doesn't. They have a certain style going that works for them and that they feel comfortable with. No one is saying you have to act like them. For the record, I've seen many straight guys who dress that way. In fact you basically described the clientele of some of Adelaide's biggest night clubs. Metro boys make me laugh I envy them in some ways because they ARE so visible and so obvious that they can find each other so easily. I myself, am never taken for gay unless I make a fairly blunt comment or two. Personally, I don't find most of them all that attractive, particularly the overly effeminate types. Not because I resent them, but because they just don't ... do it for me. I do sometimes resent being judged by their behaviour though. But that's not their fault. It's the nature of things that people judge groups by what they see. Effeminate gay guys are obvious and distinctive. Those of us with less stereotypical behaviours tend to be regarded as anomalies even though we probably make up the majority, because we are NOT visible. So my basic point is don't stress. Let yourself be you and if that means a few 'feminine' characteristics, don't sweat about it.

So, I was at a party last night and it's become something of a tradition for me to turn up with a gigantic basket of alcohol that I jointly maintain with a friend. This basket is full of spirits and liqueurs that I use to make shots/cocktails. This has lead to all sorts of comments about gay guys knowing how to make drinks, having good taste etc from my straight friends. Oddly enough, the same comments are not made about the straight friend I share the drinks with, who also enjoys cocktails. At one point I was able to get another friend to try to talk his way into a pink stretch Hummer full of women by offering free 'gay drinks' for the rest of the night if he was successful. He failed because a security guard from the pub (who looked a LOT like Samuel L Jackson in Pulp Fiction, full afro and all) came over and scared him off. I still made him the drinks though. So, this got me to thinking about things. I don't mind that people think I'm good at making drinks, but it's kind of annoying that everything I do gets linked back to my sexuality. I'm probably the least campy gay guy you'll ever meet but people still make these annoying assumptions. This isn't a big deal for me but it's something that, in certain situations, can be really annoying because even though these are generally positive stereotypes, they're still within the same mindset that the negative sterotypes come from. Does anyone else find this sort of thing irritating? I'm just curious as to whether other people have this reaction. Maybe I'm just grumpy Wynter

You forgot to mention how loooooong it is. However, I agree totally, bad movie was bad. The directors and screenwriters responsible should be flogged publicly. Thanks also for the science, I feel more intelligent for having read it

Yes, but that seems more like preaching to the converted. The vast majority of those people grew up in an environment where other factors influenced their ideologies before reading the book, if they actually READ the whole book instead of taking other people's word on it. Those books are powerful, yes, but they're so ingrained now that they're not the new and 'subversive' texts they once were. They're useful in indoctrinating people but I don't think they'll attract many new members just on their own. It's the way they're delivered, in the context that they're delivered that keeps them relevant to those people. Indeed, religious texts are probably the most misused, misquoted and misunderstood books of all. Personally, I'm an atheist and regard religion in general as subversive, but I won't prattle on about that here. On a less controversial note, have any of you encountered cults before? A friend of mine became involved in a new age pseudo-science group after watching videos and reading books produced by the group. Having watched these videos I can attest that they are VERY subversive. He has changed his entire world view because of the teachings of this group. Perhaps we should consider self help and get rich fast books as subversive too?

I've been meaning to read Mein Kampf for a while now. Not because the ideas interest me but because it would a be an insight into the most hated man in history. I'm similarly curious about Marx and Chairman Mao. On the subject of subversiveness, they're so old and out of date now that I doubt they would have much power anymore. They were relevant to a particular social context that no longer exists. There are probably many others which are more 'subversive'.