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story critique Improve & Encourage #9: Jager
Cole Matthews commented on Renee Stevens's blog entry in Gay Authors Archive
Thank you Dodger. I’m in tears at the reactions. I appreciate the reflection. Its so special to hear how people like your writing. Dig deep. That’s what I did with this story. 😘 -
Discovery - Chapter 6
Cole Matthews commented on Cole Matthews's story chapter in Discovery - Chapter 6
The blog is the first chapter of the story. When it starts with Discovery, it's the second part of the story. The first part is all blog. Thanks!!! -
Discovery 7 Jay Odgen looked like an older version of the victim, only he was much broader. His face was oval, and from the pictures Rush had viewed, his son would have probably aged as gracefully. They were studies in handsome. The man was also obviously grieving. His eyes were bloodshot and there were dark circles under them. He had a haunted look, like his son wouldn’t let him sleep. In fact, it seemed he couldn’t escape his son’s memory during the day either. “He
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Discovery - Chapter 6
Cole Matthews commented on Cole Matthews's story chapter in Discovery - Chapter 6
There will be more evidence introduced as well. I'm trying to build a story with the elements and I hope this works. Thanks so much for the comment. I'm so happy you're following Rush's investigation. -
Discovery - Chapter 6
Cole Matthews commented on Cole Matthews's story chapter in Discovery - Chapter 6
Unfortunately, what you say is true. Social media can become a sort of 'mob rule' gang. That's always dangerous. Yeah, it is a horrible discovery. This crime scene was based on an experience of mine at a work site. Regardless of how it's found, a crime scene is a horrific experience. Thanks for the interesting commentary. I appreciate it. -
Discovery - Chapter 6
Cole Matthews commented on Cole Matthews's story chapter in Discovery - Chapter 6
The new body is not Eddie. The blog entries should still be open for reading. They are the key to the solution of this mystery. I'm so thrilled you're speculating and forming theories. I love it!!! Thanks!! -
Discovery - Chapter 6
Cole Matthews commented on Cole Matthews's story chapter in Discovery - Chapter 6
The victim just found is a crucial part of the story. There are serious issues with the stories involved because someone is lying. Who is lying and why will be the subject of the last section. That's coming up soon. Thanks for the comments. -
Discovery - Chapter 6
Cole Matthews commented on Cole Matthews's story chapter in Discovery - Chapter 6
You are absolutely right. It's connected to the story. I'm glad you appreciate the social media angle to the story. There has always been a great deal of speculation about guilt and innocence in a criminal case, but it's become very immediate. We also have the tools to make it explode. Thanks for the thoughtful comments. Much appreciated. -
Discovery - Chapter 6
Cole Matthews commented on Cole Matthews's story chapter in Discovery - Chapter 6
I am a tease! That's what makes a good mystery. Rush has hunches, ideas, and some lines of inquiry, but so far there isn't even a case, not really. But that will be changing soon. The police may need help with the case. Guess who they call. Thanks for the lovely review. -
Discovery 6 Stephanie tried to keep the boys in sight, but Kyle in particular, liked to ride his bike faster than his brother. Little Greg’s legs would pedal as fast as he could, but his big brother raced ahead of them both. At least, she reminded herself, along this stretch of Minnehaha Parkway, it was familiar to her sons. They rode this pathway a couple of times a week when the weather was nice on their way to the park. Paragon Park was the boys favorite. It had monkey bars,
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Discovery - Chapter 5
Cole Matthews commented on Cole Matthews's story chapter in Discovery - Chapter 5
You are correct. New chapter coming Monday evening. 🤓 -
Discovery - Chapter 5
Cole Matthews commented on Cole Matthews's story chapter in Discovery - Chapter 5
Yeah, there is more on that. Sometimes people need a blowup. Let's face it. Life isn't really easy. Thanks for the comment. -
Discovery - Chapter 5
Cole Matthews commented on Cole Matthews's story chapter in Discovery - Chapter 5
The other body is coming. We will see much more. I'm so glad the story is again unfolding. Thanks for the comment. -
Discovery - Chapter 5
Cole Matthews commented on Cole Matthews's story chapter in Discovery - Chapter 5
That will be seen this coming week. Thanks!! -
Discovery - Chapter 5
Cole Matthews commented on Cole Matthews's story chapter in Discovery - Chapter 5
Excellent questions. This is an area that is explored sometimes and not in others. Many people think it's just 'googling' and therefore not research. Others believe this may be a powerful source of information. I've worked in both atmospheres. The jury is out on how much relevant information can be found overall. That being said, I think we are missing out on how facts are posted on social media. It is a powerful source of information, and yet is any of it relevant. Questions like these are floating above the ether waiting for answers. Thanks for the comment. -
Sometimes a friend is the most important thing we have. I try to remember that from time to time. Thanks for an insightful review.
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Chapter 22 - Where the heart is
Cole Matthews commented on Cole Matthews's story chapter in Chapter 22 - Where the heart is
I love this comment. We often talk about 'tempting fate' with our whining. It's a job that is regularly demanding. Sometimes, rarely, it calms down. From time to time, we worry. It's then we are blitzed by work. Thanks for reminding me that boring is sometimes good. -
Chapter 22 - Where the heart is
Cole Matthews commented on Cole Matthews's story chapter in Chapter 22 - Where the heart is
Hahaha!!! Exactly. Home isn't necessarily comfortable all the time. However, it is a place that always takes us back. We may not enjoy everything about it, yet we know it and that makes it home. Thanks for a lovely review. -
Chapter 22 - Where the heart is
Cole Matthews commented on Cole Matthews's story chapter in Chapter 22 - Where the heart is
Thanks for this particular comment. I do think it encapsulated what I wanted to convey. I love novels and novellas, but something short poems or stories can give us a terribly poignant taste of life. I appreciate your engaged comment. Thanks!!! -
Chapter 22 - Where the heart is
Cole Matthews commented on Cole Matthews's story chapter in Chapter 22 - Where the heart is
Since I worked here before, it was a 'return home' moment. I guess my biggest fear was rejection from those who knew me. It's really the pits when you feel that way. I'm glad it turned out well. Thanks and I'll see you next month!!! -
January 2018 prompt - First Day of Work
Cole Matthews commented on Valkyrie's story chapter in January 2018 prompt - First Day of Work
Our fictional tales are interwoven with real life experiences. This exercise was telling, because it gives us another facet of your perspective. A lot of times, we don't really know what we want most. We believe the stories we tell ourselves about what we want and don't. Then fate has a way of gently nudging us toward what we most need, to our own surprise and astonishment. I loved this vignette of your life. Thank you for sharing it with us. -
Where the heart is. “Here is your desk, and Linnie will be by in a few minutes to give you the tour.” “I was here before. I’m not sure I need a tour,” I said, softly, nervously. “Linnie will be by in a bit,” Stacy said, smiling vaguely and then she disappeared. The office was small, with a u-shaped desk, a row of cabinets above and below, built of brown-painted metal and encased in padded cloth. There was a note pinned on the panel in front of him. It said,
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What a delightfully wicked faery tale. I loved the humans trick to rid hims of of briar . It was an awesome plan and couldn’t happen to a more worthy character. Great job !
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I think that ending is exactly what Karla wanted as well. She'd lost most everything and now she had hope. It's sometimes the best thing we can get. Thanks for the lovely review. I appreciate it.
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What a lovely story and your visuals were great. I could see the blues all around and they burst into yellows and oranges. Very lovely. Great job!!
