Carlos Hazday

Thank you! I try to convey a sense of time and space hoping to place the reader in the middle of the action. I'm glad it works for you.

We can only hope Dayne rediscovers the joy of writing. As for the whirlwind, it slows a bit in the next chapter. But let me tell you, having 21 characters at a dinner party and giving them all dialogue lines was challenging! You may have to read a bit slower than usual so you don't miss anything.

I like Don's attitude towards Miriam. Can I have 15 minutes alone with her?

Pretty sure there's an app for that! I use a white-noise one my tablet to help me sleep. With the AC no running much this time of year, it's too quiet otherwise. Tell Mike to give you an extra hug for me. Both of you please stay warm and safe.

I enjoyed that. However, as is often the case with prompt responses, I'm left wanting a smidgen more.

Uncertain of how the accident will end up affecting them as a couple and Don individually, but I feel Louis becoming stronger. Nice ending with the appearance of the sibling who may or may not be an obstacle.

So much is often left unsaid even between people who love each other. These two are going to overcome that if they plan on surviving the challenges ahead.

Nicely done, mister. You paint a clear picture of the accident without getting lost in the details. As much as Don is the injured once, I suspect Louis' pain will be just as large. I hope I can knock out at least a couple of chapters a day.

Scary and hopeful. I liked it.

@jamessavik You have described the majority of my stories. Throw in the fact the MC of my series has a concealed carry permit, and you can imagine the type of reaction I often receive. Most readers realize this is fiction and my guy's not one-dimensional, but some fans aren't shy to tell me they disagree. I kinda like that and encourage it.

Thanks for the faith and for the trust. The older crowd will play significant roles in the future. As for Thierry, make him a bit harrier and change some of the other tattoos, and he's a good match for what I envision CJ looking like in his twenties.

A fan, eh? Are you like Harley? He keeps singing doobie, doobie, doo

It was either a tear or laughter as a reaction; I settled for a thumbs up. Brad's grown up. I'm glad I've captured some of what families have to deal with when relatives are deployed. All I've ever heard is not knowing is the worst. Now, as far as your warning... Not sure if you've heard, but the government's about to reopen. The FBI will have funding for the witness protection program.

Guess I consider anything not involving dialogue between two or more characters narration.

Remember when I mentioned having over twenty characters together and trying to give them all dialogue? It was tough, but I hope it worked. I tried to include everyone. The real test will be in the next chapter, all of them sit together at one table to share a meal!

Thanks, Mike. What with college and all, the guys don't get together as often as they used to. I wanted to bring them together at least once before CJ graduates from college. I know it wasn't you who complained the last chapter about not knowing the characters anymore and there being too many new ones, but I'll take the chance to point out that except for Cameron Storm, all individuals appearing in this chapter are returning characters. I couldn't avoid Cam, I needed a tattoo artist!

Thanks, Dave... a long-time friend of mine once laughed because I made a mixed tape (I know, I'm dating myself) filled with songs about New York. Empire State hadn't been released then, but the other two featured prominently.

Unfortunately, my bed was kinda empty last night. As for Goodnight, My Angel, google it. It's a lullaby by Billy Joel. That was my first hint there might be a baby on the way.

Thanks, my friend.

Colorado for his 18th and New York for his 21st, I'm jealous. CJ's tattoo was inspired by a picture I came across over a while back. It shows a naked man (CJ) leaning forward while sitting on a blacked out motorcycle. Although no sexual organs are visible, you see the side of the man's butt, and I was told it would conflict with GA rules. If you google Canadian model Thierry Pepin, you may come across the picture.

I'm sorry. You're one of the readers I hate to disappoint. However, this is CJ's story after all, and I've been concentrating on him (and Owen) a lot more. Brett and Cesar make an appearance in two chapters, and will return with juicier scenes in a few more.

I think they want to be certain of everything before they announce it to the world. Brett does have a couple of good lines when he finds out. LOL

Since we've been chatting about leaving comments... This is not the type of story I enjoy, but I forced myself to finish it. I prefer tales with action and this one lacks that. The fact it's mostly narration turns me off, although I admit your 'atmosphere' is enticing. The abundance of bloat words was also a distraction. That, just, and similar words could be slashed and the writing would flow better. As I said, not my preferred fare, but I'm certain others will find it appealing.

You? Polarizing?

Y'all should realize the majority of views on a chapter or story are not from GA members; those 'readers' can't react or leave comments. Posting two chapters, and then abandoning the story won't help increase traffic. Many of us wait until a story's complete before reading, or check to see the author's posting on a regular schedule. Many of us have been burned when we get involved in a tale and then there are no installments shared for weeks or months. Unlike Nifty and most other sites, GA's a community. If I post something out of the blue, it'll get attention, but not as much as if I'd interacted with others. Status updates, comments in forums, comments on stories and chapters all increase visibility. The more people see you, the more likely they are to read your story. A well-written story will draw readers; a popular member will do the same. A well-written story by a popular member will garner much more attention. One other suggestion: Provide an error-free, interesting description to a story. Just yesterday, I clicked on the link for a new story by a new author. Their description was so badly written, I passed on reading the opening chapter. If the author can't write a clean couple of lines, I suspect the story itself will be worthless. I have limited reading time and lots of options, so small things can dissuade me from trying a new story by someone I don't know.