totallyy
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Everything posted by totallyy
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Thank you so much. Haikus are difficult, they're short. and i definitely am of the opinion that it is much more difficult to express the fullness of emotion in a 5-7-5 than a 1000-word short story.
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Thank you so much I used to write poetic prose but I find myself inclined towards poetry now though free verse is very much more my style.
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Sorry it took so long to reply this, I just never noticed. Rhymes are pretty and all. But poetry is art, and art is flow and flexibility. I find that extensive rhyming often makes poetry seem a little two-dimensional. After all, the greek epic poems were all about rhythm and meter. and they remain the greatest works of literature in western civilisation, and maybe of the history of civilisation.
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Flurries, drifting slow. Warmth in distant lit windows, Beckon to cold hearts.
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The powerlessness: To do nothing strains the will. Such is discipline, To cease and watch suffering Seize everything you hold dear.
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There is clarity in silence In the awnings of night, Dawn not yet come. Our inner realm seems closer As the crescent glistens And the stars flicker. A bed too big for one, Winter’s chill taunting, The world fades away, Darkness swallowing The dimness of Street lamps. Stillness in the air: Motion suspended. A city slumbers. The soothing sounds Of lullabies sung To children Not yet sullied. A chilly embrace A frosty welcome Hello again, Old friend.
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I loved this so much. It was great. Brilliantly executed. It was proportionate and character development was spot on. Every character was relevant and exposure for each character was perfectly timed. I kept waiting for adrian to pop up in some frenzy of scandal but I'm glad I was spared. it was flawless. I'm so glad I started. It just seems so perfectly apt that I'm sitting in a hotel room in tokyo right now. This was fantastic. Thanks so much for sharing it.
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Yay I spy Singapore! we hardly get any representation!
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I was rooting for adrian not to turn out to be a total asshole. Looks like I'm gonna be disappointed. In other news, you've got me hooked.
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It was a really good read. There were lots of well written hooks. There was slightly uneven character development. I liked Bens story. Annie seemed a little bit flat considering her role and the other nurses could be more fleshy but considering the word count of each chapter. It was good. I did pummel through all the chapters in one sitting. I rarely get time off to read anything. I really liked how being gay wasn't really the big red bullseye of the story. Love the subtlety which makes it all the more relatable and human. I respect the purposeful vagueness but gosh does it leave me a little wanting. But oh well I do that a lot too. Heh. All in all, great read. Thank you for sharing your work with us.
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Time whispers in our ears ‘It’s been a year.’ The dirt road behind us stretches beyond sight Green pastures faded to dirt. All the hours, minutes, tears we’ve cried, Holding charred remains of one worn shirt. Words thrown down and ties broken by silence, No gypsy in tents Could’ve foreseen this path we’ve run down. Carelessly flinging our hope into dried up wells, We’ve tripped on pebbles and drowned in sand. We laid sentences atop sentences And rattled at the bars of our own c
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Thank you joann! Thank you as usual for reading!
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Thank you! It takes practice, and I'm not half that great anyways. I used to believe in rhyming, and technical aspects of poetry but after writing prose, free-verse came more naturally to me. Sometime's it's okay to disregard the rules, go for a little bit of flair. That's what art is isn't it? Anyways, just my two cents on writing style Thanks for the review!
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No raised voices, Objects don’t fly. Words escape In barely a whisper. It’s a change in the tone of your voice: A slight sigh, As if there is relief In disaster. Silence pervades the empty air, And conversation ceases. Yet something flares Deep within, And feasts on every doubt. Every mistake we ever made, Guilt binges. We fling sharp edges At the mirror And cut ourselves on Our own words. Because we’re afraid. And every doubt we ever had And every hurt we ever f
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There is a silence that begs to be filled when I turn around to face the distant wall. The air in my lungs thickens and my throat struggles to keep the breaths even. So I roll over to stare across the room at yet another distant wall. The skin stretched taut across my ribcage starts to prickle, as if in anticipation. For a second, I imagine hands sliding across them. I reach over to remind myself that you’re not here, to touch disappointment. I check because I cannot lean back one more time, to
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Prompts Writing Prompts #328 & #329
totallyy commented on Renee Stevens's blog entry in Writing World
My response to prompt 328: Carousel -
You expect me to believe that? That we were simply character development In a tragic tale of love and loss? That you were merely the preamble to more? That I will come up stronger after the war? Where, then, is the passing of this storm That rages inside me? Where, then, is my saviour My drowning wreckage, he pulls me from? Where, then, are my golden rays of hope To pierce through this shroud of grief? There are days I walk the streets, And the sun warms my skin. And every
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Thank you so much for the great review.I'm glad you enjoyed the poetry. Thank you for giving the poem a chance to touch you.
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Thank you for leaving the review. Contemporary life is obsessed with moving on, from experience to experience. "Hurry or you might let your life pass you by" is one thing I've heard too many times. True as it is and necessary for us not to dwell in the failures of the past but is it not crucial to take the time to mourn and breathe, when life just seems to constantly knock the breath out of us? I'm glad you enjoyed it!
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Just beautiful. I am struggling to move on from a past relationship myself right now and this really hit home with me. When we decide to leave relationships, we can't predict that years down the road we will still be desperately in love, even when new loves are in the picture. Nothing can ease the pain of not knowing what might have been. Thank you so much for the great review and the compliment. I'm glad that the poem resonated with you. Though I would rather it not have, truthfully. This is the first poem I've written on GA. :\
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How should I have known That your voice would quell this lonely thirst, That the stars would sing in the voice of yours And the night would weave my dreams in your image? How should I have known That the idle fates were cruel in their making, That perhaps fairytale ill-prepare us And that love could not champion all? You left Me to pick up the broken shards, That bled over my two hands. I pieced the wreckage back together But they were never much the same. I drifted through
