thebrinkoftime

Look on the bright side! These are the kind of people who are far more likely to ignorantly/drunkenly light up their genitals in hideous gas fire incidents at the barbecue on Labor Day, thus removing any chance for them to pass on their stupidity seed to another generation.

Hey KC, with Gundam Style, are you referring to the popular Japanese science fiction universe and the Korean hit song? Because if it's just the hit song alone it's Gangnam, which is a district in Seoul and kind of like saying Beverly Hills Style. Cool if you're mixing the two, but I just wondered.

It's a compliment through metaphor. It implies that the person's not alone (because solitary is similiar to the word solitaire). Hence, you're cheating on a solitary life, because everyone likes you. And solitaire is a game, so there's the double meaning.

AJ, is there a character limit we should be aware of? I'm not sure what levels to put these at, but here are some ideas: Chronicles of an Academic Poster Poster Child Born Star In Vogue Moving Like They Do In Babylon More Than Two Thumbs Up Froopy Snood Still Waiting for the Great Pumpkin If the Love is the Answer, You're Home Blessed by Social Graces Booty-licious A Fine Romance With No Kisses A+, Would Like Again Swing Time Pride Rock You Love Me, You Really Love Me The Rest is Just Cream Cheese Swan Survivor Win a Date with Mann Ramblings Like Me Baby, One More Time The Garden of Succeedin' Hug Bear Social Incast Oh and I take it back, I have a suggestion for one like or post level, at 420, add Smokin'. And, I'm not sure if this would be seen as politically incorrect or asking for trouble, but: Niftier. Also, instead of Cheat So Good, which I understand and like, but seems to be a little misunderstood, how about Cheats at Solitaire?

I dunno, she seems kind of shallow to me.

Now that's a speech! BRAT begins with a line of dialogue that would typically occur in the kitchen over the cookie jar or out in the pool during or in the hall walking to the cafeteria. It then pulls the rug under our feet, licks it, says, "I love pulling rugs, don't you?" and reveals that this is a speech being given to an audience of people. Through the carefully-directed dialogue of the speaker, we see how the way a person speaks about themself and those around them can actually work a change on the individual internally. Words are not just words, but at the same time, the story also demonstrates how words are just words, because these aren't the words we are "supposed" to use at occasions like this. I know I would make a speech like this, because I too am a total brat, so I can sympathize with the main character and his brother and see how the author brought in a subtle nod to the bratty similarity of the brothers. I liked how there wasn't a clear reference on how the characters came to be in this situation, but one thing I would have enjoyed even more was a more deft touch with the dialogue. I figured out very quickly exactly what type of social situation this was, and if it were a little more vague, then the reveal at the end would have actually felt more like a surprising reveal and not a confirmation of what I was thinking. Nevertheless, that may have been the author's point and the work has no major flaws, at least in my estimation. I like the idea of a four-letter anthology of short stories. The surprisingly original details of deadbro's comic abuse were refreshing as well. Usually, I see a lot of writers crap out only general examples of pranks, and I'm glad you didn't, because I'm going to have to keep that blue hair dye one handy for the future when my roommate pisses me off. Perhaps I'm just emotionally broken or something, but I laughed and smiled more than I felt sad while reading this. I love dark humor.

Calm down, everyone! We all know that Batman is all about his gadgets and tools, and Bieber is nothing if not a massive tool.

I used to take Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them and go out into the woods and search for all the creatures I thought might be likely to be in my area. The other one was great too, the Quidditch one. I loved how she had the characters scribble notes and drawings in them. Even though she was enormously talented from the beginning, J.K. Rowling really showed a propensity to grow as a writer as well throughout the series. I always get a little cranky when people suggested she needed an editor who wouldn't stand for her verboseness as the books got huge. Rowling knew why her books became such a phenomenon -- yes, Harry's struggle was decently compelling, but I maintain to this day that Harry was intentionally not the most appealing character in the books by the author's intent. Rowling's true talent, if you ask me, was everything that surrounded Harry. People call it creating a fictional world, and I suppose that's accurate enough, but I like to think of it as an environment. Every time the twins showed up, my brain went, "Oooh! New wizarding pranks!" Every time a new location would pop up, my brain went, "Oooh! A wizarding hospital!" or "Oooh! A wizarding pub!" Every time a new creature or clever little aside slinked its way between the lines, there was a delightful little giggle that went off in my mind. I think people underestimate how hard it is to do that. You don't just go into your brain wardrobe and pull out charming ideas and details as if they were nothing, it takes a really meticulous and detail-oriented mind to keep that environment as cohesive and enthralling as Rowling managed to do. Yes, I was somewhat involved in Harry and his friend's plights and worries, but I was more tickled by the next creature, spell, character or place he would encounter than anything else. So when the books ballooned to an enormous size, I was impressed that it didn't mean that they were just endless, badly-edited internal thoughts of the main characters and droll description, but those pages were filled to the brim with the environment she had so successfully cultivated as her own. I didn't go to the books to escape either. I don't like it when people imply that I read fantasy to escape from the world. Maybe you do, and that's fine, but for me, that's nonsense. I read fantasy to confront my demons. I like to see other people's ideas of what is considered good, whether that be addlepated balding fathers with an inclination toward nerdish glee about everyday things, or a creature with too little self-awareness whose bad ideas for helping other people end up nearly getting them killed. I find it comforting to nod at the things I agree with, tilt my head and accept the things I don't, and cover my mouth with a shocked gasp at the things I really didn't expect the author to confirm as "good." That's my ultimate motive for reading fantasy. I like how it stretches out my mind, because anything goes in fantasy and I can't visit all the countries in the world and get used to the incredibly different ways people think, but when I encounter similar challenges in fantasy, it is a joy if the author can provide the right context for it. A lot of modern fantasy is ponderous and tedious to read. I feel many authors believe that super morally-conflicted characters who drone endlessly in bleak adventures will make me think, "By God! The human condition! It is art." But I often end up thinking, "By God! This is like some bitchy argument between roleplayers about whether a saving throw could really protect from a poisonous dagger. This sucks." That's why I really appreciated what Rowling did. She didn't shirk away from confronting all sorts of nasty, god-forsaken things that Harry and his poor friends had to put up with, but it was all in a really fun, warm, welcoming environment that asked you to enjoy all the hardships, not to endure it and then appreciate it from a distance as some marvelous modern literature angst bomb. I'm still most impressed with Order of the Phoenix. Harry was such a complete arsehole for the majority of that book, but that's okay, because sometimes people go through periods like that and Umbridge, oh my god, Umbridge, to me was far, far more awful and evil than anything Voldemort could ever represent, she was pretty much the ultimate example of authority gone horribly wrong. So this book had this narrative device where a grumpy and unruly teenager was being abused by somebody who was considered to be a paragon of virtue by the wider society and it was just infuriating to read. But! There was always that wonderful, lovely, charming, comfy environment Rowling had soaked her world in. So it was a fun and amusing type of indignation to experience. That environment always saved the books from becoming dour little morality tales for the benefit of the deluded adults who write them. It is partially somewhat thanks to Rowling that I continue to see life as an endless array of Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans and not as a series of dementors. Growing up with Harry Potter (I read the first book when I was 8 years old and followed them as they were published, and they always came out near my birthday, one time exactly on my birthday!) I grew to appreciate Rowling a lot. I felt smothered in well-meaning literature that I felt was trying to say, "Look at me! Aren't I wise? Aren't I getting through to you, your poor lost child? Have you seen the light yet? Come, come, it's over here!" Whereas Rowling's books were a lovely contrast, they said, "Relax, things may be gruesome now, but don't worry. Things are going to turn out all right, you'll see. Love is the answer, have a cookie and let's snuggle up to the fire until it all rolls over." That's why I find Rowling to be a remarkable author and don't think it's a mistake or fluke at all that her books caught on like they did. That was some powerfully good writing.

No, thank you for sharing, he he! Appreciate the comments, I'm glad that my chosen writing style helped bring you into the story! It wasn't hard to write, but as I look back on it, I'm thinking of other ways I could have more creatively explored the format. But still, I'm glad my muse let me write Yuki and Kaede's adventure!

Ron! We run into each a lot in these reviews, don't we? Ha ha, thanks for that! If you've never seen it before, the format for this story is based on a type of game that was popular in the early 80s called a text adventure, or interactive fiction. The player interacts almost entirely with text by typing in the actions they would like to do like commands and the story reacts to the player's commands. I love these games dearly and one of the greatest creators of interactive fiction was a company called Infocom -- that's why this story is brought to you by Brinkocom. I thought that even if people weren't familiar with the format, eventually they would catch on to how the story is told and it would become easier for them to follow along. Now that I think about it, I probably should have toned down some of the violence and nastiness, but ah well, you live and you learn! I love to experiment with all sorts of strange things in my stories, so I'm glad you enjoyed it, even if it might have been bewildering at the beginning.

Joann, it's always a pleasure to get a review from you, thank you! While most of the sisters did indeed come from my sordid and strange imagination, some of their characters are actually based on real people. For instance, in order to create Kanon, I reached back to a memory I had of a little girl who would come to my mother's daycare and take every other's kids toys, while screaming, "Mine! Mine! Mine!" While of course this story is pure fiction, I did use some of my own unpleasant experiences to give me nightmare fuel, so to speak. I'm glad you enjoyed the traits of each sister. I haven't seen any comments to the effect, so I'm wondering now if people picked up on the fact that each sister is supposed to be the embodiment of one of the Seven Deadly Sins?

Did you purposely write this review in a small font to make it look like you were quaking in fright at your editor? Either way, thanks for the review! I'd like to know what other stories you've read that have been done in the style of IF! I love Interactive Fiction and always have, so it was a pleasure to give it a try in a non-interactive form. Originally Rie was the last sister they confronted and came after Fumika, and the lazy sister was the very first, but I didn't like how the story proceeded and it seemed weird that the main characters would be so violent to such a lazy person, so I put one of the most evil sections first. I knew it would turn off some (a lot of?) people, but I was prepared for that. I'm not a fan of S&M myself, and I certainly didn't want to do any research, so I winged it! I hope I didn't offend any S&M enthusiasts...I wonder... Anyway, I'm glad to hear you made it through the story!

Coolbeans. I understand. Thank you for taking the time to let me know, I appreciate it!

The prose and characterization in this story had a convincing and professional sheen to it that made it a pleasure to read. Words snaked out of each period and into the next, luring me to finish the story as if Pandora was holding my hand, leading me through it. Dreamy, hazy sections in the garden with Pandora provided a drastic contrast with the matter-of-fact modern college manner of Matt and Kitt's daily life. I really enjoyed the details of Matt's job -- something about that section seemed real enough to reach through the monitor screen and touch. In several areas, I wondered if you were either an expert or really put in some solid research for your story -- specifically the remodeling scene and Kitt's expertise about art issues. I have no idea if what you wrote was correct to reality, but it sounded like it was so, which in my mind is much more impressive. I did think the story's mystery was somewhat spoiled by the nature of Kitt's revelation near the end. I like a good, vague enigma that is never entirely revealed and I feel like the story would have been ultimately stronger if we had little idea how much of Matt's experience was reality and how much was hallucination (or at least Pandora-induced reality). At the point where Matt's fever and back pain get really bad it starts becoming difficult to know what's real in the physical world and what's only in Matt's mind. For a while, I thought it possible that the scene where Matt almost punches Kitt and Kitt leaves disappointed in his birthday suit (*snicker*) could have been Matt's hallucination of what a future Matt could be reduced to while he is in a fever dream, possibly provoked by Pandora. It kind of disappointed me that you didn't leave it up to interpretation, but furthermore gave us some concrete time and space details of what happened. I'm not entirely opposed to Kitt's explanation, I just think it should left more room for interpretation. The story is still ultimately a strong one even with the explanations, but I feel like there's a tendency in a lot of English fiction these days to explain too much. Also, cutting to another character was an intriguing and surprising way to end the story, it's especially spooky because you seem to infer the statue can resurrect its physical appearance, but the last sentence has all the subtlety of a "Next time, Gadget, don't forget!" ending. I'm glad Matt and Kitt ultimately found a way to escape from Pandora's clutches, as your deft skill in making both of them likable characters we want to root for had me invested in their plight. I was also glad to see you only lightly brushed in some sexual content. I'm not opposed to it at all, but sometimes I feel a little bit like people just throw it in as a nice extra without thinking about whether it's necessary to the story. I suppose that's a cool bonus for people who are into that, but I'm more of a "But think of the story!" kind of guy, so I appreciated that. If this were an anthology to be published in an actual page-and-paper book I was the head editor of, your story would get in with the least amount of red ink. Take that with a grain of salt, because it's not like I'm Super Editor or anything, but that's the gist of how impressed I was with your story.

That bad of a kisser, huh?

Now this is a story all about how my life got flipped, turned upside down, and I'd like to take a minute just ready your cocks, I'll tell you how I became the prince of Pandora's Box. In the invest firm of Novick & Hartz, where life was as interesting as butterfly farts, dying inside with all the diversifed portfolios I could get, I was shootin' the shit on the net, when a Pandora who was up to no good, responded to my application with, "You're one froopy snood!" I got on one little flight and Florida made me go bone, as Pandora took one look at me and said, "You're moving into my glass home!" I whistled for a cameraman and when to his camera room I went in, I fell down, my head in a tail spin. If anything I could say these porn stars liked to go at 'em, but I thought nah, forget it, yo homes I'm with Adam! We pulled up to the Coachmen around seven or eight, and I yelled to Adam, "Your lips, my face, I can't wait." Looked at my kingdom of auburn, chesnut and gold locks, to sit on my throne and open Pandora's Box.

You know what's interesting, advocatus? You and I both named the main character's boyfriend in our stories a name traditionally reserved for the females. And we both ended it with an important exchange of a physical item that we snuck into the beginning of our stories. And both of our stories concerned high-school-aged gaylings who are at a major crossroads of their relationship. They're both kids who grew up with each other too. Do you know what this means? It means we're BLOOD BROTHERS! Nah, I'm just pulling your third leg that gets hard at night when you think of me. When I talked to you in chat and we were going on about how all the stories in this anthology are so different and you went and checked to see if there were any others like yours and you said totallyy's was kind of similar and I assured you I found them very different? I don't know, I kind of sensed an uncertainty in you then, like you weren't sure this story would stand out. It does though. It stands out in the middle of church during an overrated Robin Williams movie and says, "It's from God. He wanted to tell you He liked your story and He couldn't it have done it better Himself." I told you I would mention all the subtle things you hid in the story in my review. So here goes: 1) If you read between the lines, specifically line 5 and 6, you'll find a subtle mouse. It's smiling though, so it might be hard to catch. 2) When it says that Nathan flopped onto Pandora's bed, this is a subtle nod that Pandora's bed has flopped many times before, with multiple boyfriends whose careers have gone out in spectacular fashion, kind of like Miley Cyrus at the VMA's, poor Pandora. 3) When it says they slept together for the first time in six months, both of them virgins we learn the miraculous truth: somehow after screwing each other, they remain virgins. Say hello to the Virgin Nathan and the Virgin Pandora, who will produce the immaculate conception of Gay Jesus and deliver the gays to the land of milk and "Honey, that's two sizes too small for your ass." 4) There's a line that comes in the kitchen where Nathan happily envisions that if the same scene played out again in 10 years, maybe they would be a married couple by then. This undercuts that Nathan is a naive teenager who has absolutely no clue what marriage is really like. 5) Once on Prom night. Once after breakfast. Seven more times until Monday arrived. Nine fucks for mortal men doomed to fuck no more once they die. One for Pandora on his dark throne, in the Land of Tricksy Precious Diaries where Boyfriends lie about Birthdays. One fuck to rule them all, one fuck to find them and one fuck to bring them all and in the darkness have a huge orgy. 6) You mention the community was very supportive, and would honk and show them a thumbs up, but I imagine this was a hint to the real dark underbelly of their community. With their honking thumbs up, they were really saying, "Get a move on and shove his wee-wee up your woo-woo until you honk like our horns, dawg." 7) "A few guys tried to bully us, but they became social outcasts." And these social outcasts were sent to the land of Canaan. For "what's the meaning of this?" please read the Pandora's Box anthology story, The Pyxides. 8) "...even though she’s a girl, she grew on me..." and seriously it was getting gross because when he ate soup she'd dip into the soup and get everything wet and only boys are allowed to grow out of Nathan's scalp. 9) It appears that every Wednesday, Nathan and Pandora get together and eat Mexicans at his house. 10) In the scene where they are studying for final exams, we finally find out what happened to Jackson from Teen Wolf. It seems like he's mellowed out a bit. 11) Apparently, Nathan likes to walk through the mall quietly. Jesus Christ! 12) Ha ha! In order to give him a moment to think up his lie, Pandora gestured to the empty table and made them move over there. 13) "Today was my surprise birthday party!" This line was hilarious in a Hagrid-leaning-over-to-Nathan-and-whispering, "You're a moron, Nathan!"-way. Hey, I didn't know Hagrid was in this story, cool! And they lived happily ever after! Amen! If I hadn't made it blazingly clear by now, the point is you can go and compare your story in any number of facile and shallow surface ways to any number of stories, but only your story has this quirk, this humor, this spark to make me or other readers think the thoughts we do when we read it. If your story was boring and rote like any number of bad, unoriginal stories, it wouldn't have that quality. We'd just go, "Duuuh, I dun' like this." There is, creeping in at the edges of the story, a kind of uncertainty where it seems at times the author isn't quite as sure of his story as his characters are. Don't let it. Of all the stories I've read in this anthology the voice of the main character was by far the strongest and I loved the way it added a unique spin to the entire thing, giving it a heady and wobbly inertia.

These sound like the same two characters from your other story, only at a different time of their life. Or is this kind of a like Platonic Sam and Jeremy? A Sam and Jeremy who are never quite the same character but always the ideal of the Sam idea and the Jeremy idea in the author's mind? Either way, it's an compelling story-telling tactic to take and I'd certainly like to see more short stories between these two. Halloween is coming up! I want to read a Sam and Jeremy Halloween story! As you can tell, I enjoyed your story, but before I go on about what I liked, I want to get out of the way what I didn't enjoy about it. In some parts of the story, you tell us what Sam is thinking and allow us to interpret what that might look like. That's fine. I have no problem with that. I'm not one of those people who is constantly screaming, "Show, Don't Tell" like it is some rule you should never violate. But then you often go on to show us what Sam is doing as well. This is often redundant and for such a short story, I would have been grateful if every sentence added something new. So for example, when I read that Sam gives Jeremy a dubious look and rolls his eyes, I already know what Sam is thinking because you showed me what that is. The next two sentences state the blazingly obvious: that Jeremy is a practical joker and Sam is suspicious. I would have appreciated a telling sentence after the showing one that gave me non-obvious information I couldn't imply, like, oh, say an example of Jeremy's previous practical jokes or a funny metaphor that tells me how Sam usually reacts to Jeremy's exploits. So while I think it's fine to mix telling sentences and showing sentences in a story, I feel like there is a lot of dead description and dead sentences that could have further made this story come alive, had they not been so redundant. ("Sam eyed it with interest now, wondering just who, or what, Pandora was." What is the point of the "with interest" description? Of course he's interested, that's why he's wondering who or what Pandora is.) I feel this is especially important for really short pieces. So despite the fact that there are no really bad grammar or spelling blemishes in this tale, I can't help but feel that the overall writing was a great deal sloppier than your first story. However, beyond the prose lies a cute little tale that makes me feel all gooey and sunshiney inside. Other than Sam & Jeremy, there is another link between your first story and this one: they are both examples of small moments that go far beyond the emotional complexity usually seen in such Chicken Soup for the Soul scenes. If I relate to one character, it is Jeremy (surprise, surprise) because I often do and did things like this, that is, in an attempt to make everything fun and funny end up frightening people in a way I never anticipated. So while I personally identify with Jeremy, Sam reminds me of my friends, especially the sensitive ones who claimed I was abusing them. The portrayal of a young mind whose imagination can truly expand to any number of unlikely scenarios of what could be in the box is spot on. Despite identifying with Jeremy, I was terrified right along with Sam until the reveal came. And then I felt the same feeling one gets when they're sure a burglar has infiltrated their house in the middle of the night and it just turns out that a cute little bird is flapping outside the window. There's a lot of truth hiding in the nooks and crannies of this small little yarn and that's an exceptional thing to pull off. To bring an adult reader, somebody who is far removed from the feelings these two characters display, so easily and effortlessly into their minds and immerse them into their viewpoint, is no small feat. It is a testament to what a good character creator and storyteller you are that this story resonates so well with its readers.

I did skim Goodreads before I replied, but I didn't know there were some more detailed replies that go into depth on the portrayal. I'll give it a look! Thanks for your reviews, as always, they are an excellent introduction to the wide world of gay fiction to be found around the nets!

I'm not a fan of historical fiction, either, though I always feel like I should be, is it wrong that I became a lot more interested in this book when I read at the end that it was actually fantasy? I had no idea what non-con and dub-con are, but I'm guessing those terms mean non-consensual and dubiously-consensual intercourse. I always have a tough time reading work that has these elements in it, as I far and away prefer reading works that don't contain them, but I always feel like that's not an excuse to just ignore that these elements of life exist and the fact that it makes me really uncomfortable is part of the point. I can handle it a little better when the positively-portrayed characters don't partake in it, but it becomes harder and harder to read when said characters do. Reading your line about how this was just the way people thought back then, would you say this is the case with Scorpion?

I think part of the reason some people don't get this song is because I think some people have this attitude that music produced in any country beside the UK and the US is probably unprofessional, bad shlock because you know silly kid, those fureners obviously don't know how to make cool music like we do. (BTW, this is not an attack on anyone on this board or thread, this is just something I've noticed as this song spreads around the internet in other places.) You saw this last year with Gangnam Style, where some people were actually under the impression that the song wasn't also meant to be silly in Korea and had no idea it was a scathing parody of Korean consumer culture (in the same way Eminem single sometimes blasts away at pop culture with jokes) but some people were just "those goofy Koreans trying to make music, how adorable." In any event, Ylvis is fantastic, but I think my favorite track of theirs is the deliriously funny They do a lot of great stuff. If you've ever seen their "tribute" to a UN superstar (Jan Egeland), you know these guys are very sharp and witty, but sometimes they just do deliberately nutty things too, like when they did this one song that was for the most part a beautiful and epic Broadway-esque show tune that would suddenly break down into obnoxious dubstep. It's absolutely hilarious. As are more lyrically clever songs like Pressure where they parody ridiculous rap videos by rapping about the scientific concept of pressure and making it sound "sexy." They really aren't just a one-hit wonder. They're just a fantastic comedy act in general. But if you were ever looking for other cool Norwegian music (you know something beyond just Sissel), I recommend Elisabeth Karsten: and King Midas:

Have you ever heard the theory of the space donut? It goes like this: There is an utterly massive, huge quantum strawberry and sprinkles invisible donut floating around space somewhere near Earth. It is not detectable by any of our instruments yet, oh, but like an intergalactic pop-tart searching for its one and true toaster, it is there. The gravitational pull of this sweet monstrosity is so strong that flying objects tend to get sucked into the middle of the donut and thrown out the other side. It also wrecks with the instruments of space vessels and causes them to crash down to Earth. In fact, the wonderfully strange space sweet has been known to be so powerful it causes time travel in its hyperactive, sugary accidents. Thus it was that when super-evolved humans from thousands of years in the future (with their huge black eyes and enlarged oval heads) crashed through the space donut and into our time, they were merely branded as aliens and UFOs by the US government and dragged to Area 51, which by the way, in order to disguise its real purpose, is made to look like a large donut factory.

Despite the fact that there are only three principle characters in this story, the world is as vibrant as if we were reading about multitudes and comes alive with every description. The relationship between Pyrrha and her mother vascillates between Greek tragedy and comedy and modern Western tragedy and comedy, but the reality doesn't waver for even a second. A story like this can absolutely choke on purple prose, florid descriptions, and pretentious dialogue, but you've avoided that and reigned in the chaos in the box of writing and delivered something beautiful and, a touch, timeless. You must be well read, because I can't imagine somebody who reads shlock being able to write like this. The main character is so strongly described, and the multiple aspects of her personality suggested so well that I feel like I'd love to read a novel about what happens to Pandora and Pyrrha after this incident. This is one of the very few stories where I have nothing to criticize, but if I have to give one quibble, it is that I sometimes can't tell which version of the myth you're referencing when the story proceeds to the hut. This isn't so much a bad thing as it a personal preference though. Keeping it vague is definitely a valid approach too. It might also have been fun to see Pyrrha interact with some other gods in some fashion before she went out to the hut, but perhaps that's beyond the scope of the story. There are also sentences where I wonder if we really need the repeated information and it would be stronger to leave it out, but nothing I could put my foot down as egegrious In any case, bravo! I think this story will be one I come back to over and over again when I feel like calming down with a classy tale.

What is it about the English and their propensity to come up with great names? The Pyxides at once brings to mind paroxysms, fantasy pixies and punk Pixies, the Pleiades and the Furies, as well as anti-oxidants all at once. This is the sign of a great made-up word. Uppendham needs no explanation. I'm sure it makes 19th-century proper ladies twitter at the tea table. "Such a vulgar word! How exciting! Oh hoo ho hoo." I enjoyed this story's unusual narrative structure and no place did I feel it was a better success than the paragraph that began with, "Dr Tysdale and the school’s one hundred forty nine masters hailed the Pyxides as a brilliant success." Of course they did. The bureaucrats made bureaucratic decisions, sat back and admired their handiwork, while refusing to look at the truth beyond their noses. These types of sentences and paragraphs always stand out in modern journalistic work because you can just hear the lies and denial seething and writhing underneath the sentence like a coil of genteel and polite vipers. Well done. There were some parts of the story, though, that I felt were a little undercooked. For instance, of the excerpts from the journals, only the boy who's getting in thick with the Pyxides and the nurse's voice stand out from each other. The other excerpts seem to be using the same general voice of the article writer and don't seem to bring their own character to the story through a notable difference in prose style. This is especially weird, seeing as how the story happens over centuries. I think that's an oversight on the potential that some of the excerpts could have brought. Same with the letter at the end. While there are clever references to the excerpts and the truth of how problems were handled at the school and what people thought of that, and it felt very realistically like a letter you'd read about such a situation in real life, I feel like it would make a more impactful last segment to the story if there was more of a contrast between the excerpts and the letter; something to really and truly point out the hypocrisy of the situation. But perhaps I'm overthinking it and it wasn't your intent to be so acidic. Still, it kind of lacked a bang, something for us to go out on a high note with. Nevertheless, this is an original story with an interesting slant. I almost feel like it functions in a netherworld between non-fiction article on the atrocities that do happen at these sorts of schools even today and a fiction lampooning such nonsense as the irresponsible reporting and responses to such incidents. That's the strange thing about fiction: it's possible for me to say without irony that I thoroughly enjoyed a story about centuries of abuse to school boys. Odd, isn't it?

This was an inspired idea, combining two similar expressions together for a poem. It made me remember that some scholars believe Pandora's Box was actually originally a jar. It also reminded me of a time when my stepfather took me fishing and I dropped the can of live worms and they wriggled and jiggled all around and it was a right pain to get them back in. Your lively imagery is so vivid it brings back memories! The poem's structure is unusual, but I think it works very well for it and the "less is more" approach you take is apt and well-done. I especially like the thought of emotions being their own living organisms that operate independently -- sometimes that's exactly what the can of worms or Pandora's Box is, out of control emotions. The evils escaping from the box like worms running away in the mud is a powerful and memorable image, thanks for writing it for us to see!