Headstall

Nineteen turkeys came after I shook the grain pail and threw grain over the grass in the paddock on the house side. Took them about half an hour to come over, but they must have been watching me. Nineteen!

I think maybe we all need a drink, buddy. This is a truly sad time for our Jubal, there is no doubt about that. We just have to be as patient as Jubal has to be. Whatever happens, he has to keep going. That is what life demands. Sorry you're sad, but so am I. Stick with me, my friend.

Hey, all! I'm in that stage after illness where I don't feel great, but I'm no longer useless. Hope you all are well. I made a mistake and posted the wrong chapter for Bearpaw--can't believe I did something so stupid, but I wasn't anywhere near my best--but that has all been fixed now. I lost all the comments and likes when Cia deleted the chapter, but I am slowing getting some of them back as readers revisit Chapter 14... just yammering away here. Hope you all are well. My eyes aren't the best right now, so I concentrate on reading my comments and making responses. I'll soon be back to normal... fingers crossed. Peace and Love!

You're right that that mare was a sitting duck. The smells of the campsite would have kept predators away for a time, but eventually she would have been at great risk. Horses don't like to be alone, and she was only alone a few hours, but I'm sure she would have become more vocal over time, and might even have broken free. Halters are pretty sturdy, but horses can be persistent. Yeah, I'm sure Ronnie didn't treat her as well as he could, but horses were often the difference between life and death, so he would have kept her watered and let her graze some. Jubal will take much better care. With the blood, you have it exactly right. I think it's why he didn't get the lantern at first. he chose to do it in the dark... he knew exactly where it was, but he didn't want to see it while he scrubbed. He just wanted it gone, this ugly reminder that much of Lucas's life had bled into that pool. Will Lucas be okay? Jubal has to think so. I don't think he could handle concentrating on the darkness of such a thing. At this point, Jubal's stake offends him somewhat too. He sees his gold as the main reason Lucas is in the situation he is, and he carries great guilt for that. Is it logical? Not really, but it is understandable when we think of who Jubal is. Still, he knows he should be thankful, and that he will be at some point. Thanks for all the support and understanding, my friend. See you Monday.

Well, Darryl, I confess I do like to stir the pot sometimes. I'm glad you are loving the story, and I thank you for coming back and rereading, now that the issue is fixed. Cheers... Gary....

Wow. That surprises me, that you think it might be better than the Sidewinder stories, but thank you, Terry. I adore Jubal. I once wrote a phrase in a poem that was 'a simply complicated man'. I see him that way. At his core he is really straightforward and simple, but because he is a gay man who has had some real struggles, there are complications to being himself. I admire him and ache for him at the same time. Yet, he is dropping some walls... if case you haven't noticed, he hasn't been covering his neck with his kerchief, and he hasn't even been thinking about it. He went to town shirtless. Maybe he will cover up again, but only one thing matters to him right now. And yes, he is a survivor. Lucas is someone I see as intuitive (healer works)... perceptive... and he knows when to push and when to back off. He treats Jubal with respect, and it is clear he is at least enamored of the man... of the way he is. He sees his qualities like I do. He sees who he is. It would be a damn shame if he doesn't survive, because they have a bond of friendship not to be taken for granted. Lucas is going through all the motions and holds onto his hope, however tenuous. He has a lot of weight on his shoulders, but that actually makes it easier for him to keep moving. He is never one to shirk from work to begin with, and he knows Lucas loves everything animal on his land. They will be his priority until something changes, and he won't ever complain for it. He is thankful to have this. That said, cleaning up the blood on the floor was tough for him. It was the one point where I felt him breaking down a bit. But, as the Jubal I know, he pushed through it, and got the job done... for Lucas's sake, yes, but I think it was for him too. That blood stain was offensive to him, as we all can understand. When we think about his day, it is amazing he hasn't collapsed, but there is one thing left to do... see Lucas again, and come hell or high water, that is what he will do. Love this comment, buddy. Thanks for coming back to the chapter and saying such encouraging things.

I hear you Mac, and I appreciate it. It's not a horrible cliche at all... it really is true and I know it, but it's a hard thing to get a handle on. I'm having some good periods between the bad ones. Tried to do some work in the barn today, but gave up. There's no need to rush. Talked to my brother too... they picked up my SIL's ashes this morning, so there was a lot of emotion we shared. Thanks for caring, buddy.

I enjoyed this even though I haven't read the story. Thank you, @astone2292 and @kbois.

Awesome, Johnny. That's what I was hoping for... that flow to show up that was missing when I posted the wrong chapter. It definitely makes better sense when you read this one after 13. We know what Jubal was feeling when he rode back to the farm and did those chores. There is a lot to emphasize with as he puts one foot in front of the other, all the while wanting so badly to get back to Lucas. Glad you are looking forward to the next one... so am I. Thanks and cheers, my friend.

The author will take that under advisement, re2. Yeah, in a perfect world, that would be the case... we shall see, my friend. Thanks for revisiting and commenting. I truly appreciate the support.

I guess the one who comes closest for me is Kellar, but I was originally thinking of my westerns.

I love them all, truthfully, and I understand why you pick Boone, but for me there is something about Jubal I can't even define... it just is. He is heroic, stoic, vulnerable, driven, brave, clever, generous, hurt... and magnificently resilient. He is used to running, but Lucas has changed that inclination, at least for now. That's all for starters...

Thank you so much, Doc! I truly appreciate the boost to my confidence, which was really low this past weekend. Wow. I'll be reading this a few more times. I'm pleased you can say this chapter stands up after reading it a second time. That is awesome. And what you say about the story itself has me flying. We writers (you included) are, I'm sure, thankful for readers who show appreciation for our humble efforts. Cheers and thanks again, my friend.

Totally agree. Doc is astute in his perceptions and observations.

Keeping busy when we are scared is universal I think. It certainly seems to work to a degree for Jubal. It did make him feel closer toy Lucas, that he could at least do this for him. He might not realize it, but in a way, he shows he is so at home there, it is a place of refuge for him... it is home to him already. Yeah, that could be a dangerous thing, but it is a fact. Not only did Lucas get to him quick, so did this farm that Lucas loves. Common sense tells him he should be happy about the money, but as you say, it feels a hollow gain... or regain. He really could care less, as if somehow it is offensive to think abut when Lucas is laying injured and comatose. I think he is prepared to take on whatever Lucas might need if he does survive. It doesn't phase him at all, and if it means he must love from afar, he will do that too, and be thankful. Can you tell I love the guy? Your observations are correct... it is a kill or be killed time in history, like so many other times have been. You're correct too that Jubal's cure lies in Lucas waking up. It will make everything else fade. he is used to hardship, and he is used to losing who he loves, but how much can one person take? Coping mechanisms only work for so long. I have no doubt Jubal will go on no matter what happens, but he won't be the same man if Lucas dies. He can't possibly be, and I believe we all see that. Thank you, dear friend, for revisiting and blessing me.

Thanks, Coral! We still have a long way to go before we're done. Glad the setback wasn't such a setback, but it did teach me a valuable lesson. You take care too, old friend.

Great effort from a new writer. Check it out... it just might get you in the feels. Well done, Chris. Cheers!

I didn't realize you'd been writing Chris, but I'm happy to see it. This shows a lot of promise, and I hope you stick with it. The writing journey has been very rewarding for me and I'm sure it will be for you too. You conveyed a lot of emotion in this story, and I liked the premise and the characters... and you obviously did some research which served you well. Congrats to you for diving in... you created a cohesive story here. Cheers! Gary....

Hey, all. I'm not ignoring you, but I only have little bits of energy... doing way better, though. I posted Chapter fourteen of Bearpaw today. Check it out if you're interested... the sequence of chapters, which I screwed up, has been corrected.

I love how it ended, with the boys back to being themselves. Mr. Snuffles. I loved writing that. They have a tough road ahead of them, but they are a good team, so Candy will have that to deal with. Thanks, buddy.

Nothing wrong with a little lovefest, my friend. Nothing makes me happier than when readers see my characters as real, and fall in love with them. I do pride myself in trying to never have them do something out of character with no reasonable explanation for why. As a reader, I used to feel betrayed when an author did that to me. Sorry... just saying... I take the trust readers give me very seriously, so thank you for your kind words. My heart aches for Jubal too. He is a survivor, that's how I see him, but he has fallen fast and heard, and stands to get hurt once again. We see no hardness in the man, but that could change if Lucas doesn't survive. Meanwhile, he will do what needs doing, and accept the responsibility of it as he frets and holds in his pain best he can... while holding onto hope. What makes it even more heartbreaking is he expects nothing for himself... he just want Lucas to survive and live out his dreams. Appreciate hearing your thoughts, J J.

Make no mistake, Man, I do not take you and my other readers for granted... not ever. Comments like this make all the efforts to improve my writing worthwhile. I wouldn't be the writer I am, whatever that is, without the support I've received over the eight years I've been writing. I take every comment to heart, and I absorb and gauge where I'm at. I've learned so much from this site and the folks on it, and I will always be thankful for the opportunity to express myself creatively... and to stretch what were once meager abilities. I get great satisfaction from all my interactions, and can't imagine being a writer who gets no feedback other than money. As a fellow writer, I know you understand what I mean. Thank you, my friend.

Fair enough, buddy. I'm in a better place about it now. All is right in the writing part of my world. Yes, Jubal is exhausted. Imagine the toll that escape through the window and what followed must have taken. You're right... all he can hang onto is hope that Lucas will prevail. And yes, the animals are always a comfort. I, for one, know how taking care of my mare gave me purpose those times I struggled. Anger, though, is exhausting in my experience. He needs to let it all go. He made Ronnie Prescott pay, and that's all he can do. For sure he is on auto-pilot in this chapter, going through the motions because Lucas needs him to... because the animals need him to. You're right that at some point he will have to check out... at the least crash for a few hours. Reid has been great during this... he's been compassionate and understanding even as he suffers too. I am impressed with him, and how he is treating Jubal. He seems to have ceded ground to Jubal with no apparent resentment, and that is the mark of a good man. Jubal sees that, and I think he is appreciative. He likes that Reid shares his hurt. Well said... "his heart lays in the bed next to Lucas". I think Doc Vance is a good doctor and he has concern for Jubal as well. He might not like that Jubal didn't get any rest, but he will also understand why. You are very kind to say such nice things about my story-telling, Man. Thank you for this... I am appreciative that you returned.

That's a fascinating tidbit, Doc. Four slugs over a damaged package? Jeez. At least that marker shows those in the Old West had senses of humor.

Yes, we will have to wait, but I think we will find much of interest to read in the coming chapters... at least that is what I hope. Thanks, Mags. I'm relieved that you see this reposting as a gift. It humbles me that readers were so forgiving. What you say is what I hope other readers will find as well, that Jubal's distress is something that can be felt through the last two chapters, finally presented in their proper order. Also, that they feel the hopefulness Jubal clings to as he goes about his tasks. As @drpaladin said, Jubal has a lot of experience with coping mechanisms... but this one will really test him... yet he has proved his resilience to hardship. It's rewarding to hear that on the second read, you found yourself caught up so much as to read faster. I love that! Thanks for revisiting and sharing your thoughts again, my friend.