SolarMaxx

The imagery in this poem is painfully haunting -- and it so accurately reflects the emotions I experienced growing up as a teen, it's exhausting! I read it three times! It's beautifully constructed, and I enjoyed reading it -- but now you've given me some things to think about, and it may be a while before I can read it again!

Two steps forward -- one back for Billy and Brandon, or so it seems! You do such a great job of capturing the bitter-sweet emotions that shape adolescence. I guess we're all a bit fragile when it comes to love! But maybe we should be reminded, from time to time, of what life feels like for young teens. Everything seems monumental -- and sometimes the end-of-the-world looms just over the next horizon. I guess my own feelings run just as deep as they did back then -- but when it's the first time, that really is monumental! I see so much of myself in Billy, sometimes it's unsettling! Thank you Comsie, for posting this chapter!

Happy Birthday Lisa

I love lightning -- this pic is genuinely cool!

WOW! Gary covered all the bases beautifully -- and I have to agree with everything he wrote! This is an exciting start to an interesting -- and refreshingly original plot-line. Great setting, characters I care about and an undercurrent of tension that creates and engaging dynamic! Terrific job Robert -- can't wait to read more. I'm spreading the word. Maxx

There's a guy at my gym that does this very same thing. I never gave it much thought -- just thought he was friendly -- and it never occurred to me that he might be flirting until I read this post. Now I feel a little self-conscience!

I KNEW IT!!

"The Secret Life of Billy Chase" & "Savage Moon" -- by comicality "The Ordinary Us" & "Desert Dropping" -- by DomLuka "Riding Lessons" series -- by Andrew Todd "Charlie" by Hamen Cheese

Reading these posts has really helped me put things in perspective! For years I was deeply troubled by the fact that I was attracted to both sexes -- when in fact I might have had the best of both worlds all along. I never needed to give up one attraction to gain the other! They were never really in conflict in the first place. I wish I could have understood that when I was in my teens! Graeme, you really got to me with this post! It sounds to me like you married well!

WOW -- I just read this post on the thread! I admit to having some biases, but it seems to explain a lot! If you decide to keep seeing him, be prepared to extend a lot of patience and support. He probably really needs someone like you in his life now -- whether he realizes it or not -- and he needs to find a way to get himself the hell out of that house!

They say ignorance is it's own punishment -- but more and more, I'm starting to see it as a tyranny!

I agree -- if a process existed it would undoubtedly be abused in some societies! In Iran -- they publicly hanged three teens convicted of homosexually last summer! I'm not sure what's worse!

Hahaha -- every time I read this it gets funnier! I know several rugby players that could benefit from an enlightened perspective!

OK -- I can follow that reasoning. I don't think I've ever thought about it that way before. I've never been to a gay bar, but I have seen the youth-dynamic play out elsewhere -- mostly among guys! If I'm really honest about it, I may have even been guilty of it myself when I was still in college!

I'm not saying that superficial attributes SHOULD be a cultural imperative -- but the fact is, in the eyes of the vast majority living in most western-world societies -- they are! I'm not clear on why the importance varies between social sectors, but apparently it does! I agree that, by definition, when people fall in love surface qualities become less important -- and that's as it should be. But I have admit I personally wouldn't want to grapple with a twenty year age gap -- younger or older -- in a relationship. I honestly don't have a problem with couples who choose it, but I'm way too lazy and insecure to want it for myself -- it just sounds like a hatching-disaster! It would be a wonderful world if we could all value each other primarily for character, virtue and inner beauty. I hope someday humanity evolves into that -- say in the next 40 years or so, when I'm seventy and needing an edge!

I agree, age does matter in any society that places a premium on youth and beauty, for better or worse. But why would it matter "immensely" in the "gay world" as opposed to being equally as important in any other sector of society?

As usual, I saw this chapter posted and immediately dropped what I was doing to take a Billy Chase break! I really like the way your developing Billy's gradual insight into his father's motives and behaviors through introspection -- although it seems he has a ways to go, and some baggage to lose. And I hate to say it, but I'm feeling increasingly bad for Jimmy LaPlane now -- even though he helped engineer his own downfall through deceitful manipulation. So I'm a chump, what can I say -- I can relate to Jimmy's pain. But the tension is killing me! What will Jimmy say and do when he finds out Brandon's back in the picture? And how will Brandon react to Billy's bold message. I've got to stop reading these chapters before bedtime! Thanks for all your hard work -- it's always appreciated.

Hahaha -- I never thought about what percentage of members in my gym are gay! I wonder if I'm better off not knowing?

The original question used the term "MEDICAL PROCEDURE" instead of the word "PROCESS" -- I changed it to avoid offending anyone with the onerous implication that gay is a illness requiring a cure! I also left out the word "YOU". My ADHD must be kicking up again! There's a process for that too -- but I refuse to take the meds!

When I turned 14, I finally admitted to myself that I was attracted to both sexes -- and it terrified me! I grew up in a conservative community nestled among the corn fields and farms of the Midwest heartland -- and I knew, almost instinctively that same-sex attraction in any form was one of the lines that absolutely could not be crossed! I believed that being true to myself and admitting my feelings would mean social suicide and disgrace -- so I didn't admit it -- and I began the lonely process of living with a lie! But I had also been fervently taught that "you can't lie to God. . ." and I came to believe, in horror, that I would be spending my eternity in hell! I hated the isolation of being ostracized from my faith by something I didn't choose, and didn't want at that time! Since then I've matured in my spiritual and social beliefs and I see things much differently! Now I actually enjoy the ability to appreciate the sensuality of both sexes. Yes, It did take me a while to get there, and I still carry some psychological baggage! But when your 14 years old, and still figuring out your moral compass, conflict can be confusing and stressful. I wouldn't want to relive that aspect of my adolescence -- but I value the insight it provided -- because it gives me a special empathy for those struggling to find peace and balance while straddling two worlds. If the technology existed to allow people to chose their sexuality -- and I believe it will, someday soon -- I wouldn't want to judge someone for using it to reconcile their heartfelt convictions -- anymore than I would want to be judged for not using it to preserve mine.

Your right zaf89, using the term "medical" in the question could be interpreted badly. Someone asked me this question not to long ago, and that's how they structured the wording. It's not my impression that anything negative was intentionally being implied.

The question is not meant to imply anything negative! I've talked with a number of people who suffered badly in their teens, and even in adulthood because of religious and social pressure and biases brought to bear. Nobody is saying gay is better or worse than straight -- but gay does make the world a more complex and difficult maze to navigate for a lot of people -- and depending on where you live, it can be a lonely existence.

If there was a safe and easy process available that could change Gay to Straight -- would make a change?

They played this song during the closing credits of White House Down, and I can't lose it!

Congrats Fax -- you just keep getting better and better! This has got to be my favorite chapter so fare! I love how you've defined the characters! And Fiona is definitely my favorite -- possibly because she reminds me so much of a close friend I had in high school who was famous for tipping the room sideways by saying out load what everyone else was thinking! I really hope we see a lot more of Fiona in the future. She great! I also like the honest, playful interchange between Asher and Ben. A little humor -- a few awkward moments of discovery -- it really works well. Everyone should be so lucky as to find that kind of love in their teens. This is a perfect setting, with interesting dialog, and people I really enjoy caring about. Five stars on this one -- can't wait to see what happens next! I wanted to sprinkle some emoticons into this review, but my touch-screen is overheating from all red-hot paragraphs I just read -XD Maxx