Daisy

I find that so weird. they are 'Walkers' in the UK. but everywhere else, including Europe, Lays.

and so you realise what the brits think , and their humour. oh, and make sure you don't litter, pick up that stub and put the whole in the bin

yeah you have it right. It means at the end of something. but in the cigarette when you reach the end it gets nasty and foul and you shouldn't smoke it. smokers should know what I'm talking about. but also it means that its about to go out, about to be stubbed out. removed. only last remnants remaining. edit to add: thinking about it, referring to Bush as a cigarette at all is derogatory, here cigarettes are pretty much a signifier for bad, unhealthy.

I don't think Obama is homophobic, or that he likely personally opposes gay marriage (I cannot know for sure of course), but that for the sake of progress (and significant progress) he has chosen not to support or rather actively seek gay marriage. Instead he supports giving in law same-sex couples all the legal benefits of marriage under a different name, which will profoundly positively affect the lives of many. I feel if he did really oppose gay marriage he wouldn't oppose a constitutional amendment. I understand your argument, there shouldn't be any divisions if equality is absolutely true, and recently had been questioning the UK civil partnerships now that the country/people accepts them for the most part. and whether it was necessary or even possible now to get them to merge marriage and partnerships.

I think its about being diplomatic. and pragmatic.

how can you know what Obama really thinks? and secondly, going to a homophobic church does not necessarily make you homophobic. From what I understand it seems the majority of your American churches are homophobic. I cannot say what Obama may have heard, not rebuked or possibly even participated in agreeing with, but neither can you. I unfortunately have sat through 2 sermons in my time where homosexuality has been negatively discussed or mentioned. I disagreed with what they said, but since one of the churches is my mothers and the pastor is a very nice man who has helped my family enormously and when he hasn't needed to, I did not feel that leaving the church in protest would be necessary. I will discuss my views with him separately, it however does not mean he is a bad guy or a bad church leader. I wish he had different views, and that particularly he never mentions them in church (he only said one comment anyway), but we both respect the other and since I do trust his spirituality for the most part I am happy attending his church when I am home. What's to say Obama is the same? What matters to me anyway is that he IS being supportive of gay rights, he's certainly aiming to make progress.

wow, HOA's sound horrible. I've read a little about them on my uni course, i think the book was called 'gated america' but only as practice reviewing methodology. they sound crazy anyway!! don't really get that in the uk, at all. ok so we do have neighbourhood watch, but thats for crime and ive never ever known anyone go to one, or known that they meet at all infact. but yeah crazy, couldnt stand that idea. and my experience of posh areas in the uk is that they deliberately let the roads get Really messed up, deters people from driving in the neighbourhood, or at least the street. neighbours do moan and bitch though, i know my dads had trouble with his, he just ignores them now, or does things deliberatly to annoy them when they do start whining, and they can't do anything about it

I'm glad!!! let us know how it goes... is it a big town?

well , I thought you'd just moved town, so aren't all the people you around new - didn't know the old you, and so how would they know how they, or others, used to act? i would also say that we evolve over time and periods in our life, there is no true definite self, so approach it that all your experiences have built you, including the time when you were happier and bubblier. I don't really know what I'm trying to say, except I suppose I can understand the problem, I've felt like needing to be something else and the of course my mum has had this exact same situation and felt even worse when she couldnt force it to happen straight away, she didnt like feeling like a phantom of her former self. but then I think that's where we can't go back, we can only evolve. and it's a journey, you can't force yourself to be different overnight. so relax and spend time developing friendships and having small fun and I think what you are looking for will start to shine through. i can see it starting to work with my mum. (however here maybe slightly different as she developed a deep fear of socialising, it would drain her of energy). and she is beginning to get happier and strength. she's definitely back to being recognisable as my mum, that happened months ago. just more and more is starting to shine through as goes a long her journey. but, I'm also ridiculously glad she is keeping what she has learnt through this ordeal too, wouldn't want a repeat or how she could go overboard on absolutely anything . celia

I don't think so, not really. I think he is just seen as a druggy celebrity who is a bit insane. well I hope so. most people will see it rationally I think

just saw this on the Guardian website: http://www.guardian.co.uk/music/2009/jan/1...-george-ukcrime he's done it again (trouble I mean), but this time is going to prison for 15 months after detaining, handcuffing and beating a male escort who he was convinced had tampered with his computer 2 months previously. Apparently no-more concerts for America or Japan now. celia

I'm sorry, I can't quite work out over the internet what you meant by 'equally applicable'. I hope you meant that is equally applicable to a wo'man'. as already stated above, if unclear, that i like the poem because i did think it was/could refer to all human beings. its a tale of a parent to a child, a 'wise person' to a friend. there are 2 different things being written about here, 'good' personal qualities we like as people suggest like integrity. and the more gendered whipping tools, but then even things like integrity are doing that, telling us how we should be or we look weak, a not whole person. the gendered things, well yes, its all on the girl/lady/woman being seen as weaker and having weaker attributes, and then thats used as a reason to attack men, and women. and having to live up to these things, or fail is what its about. if you can't stand the pressure, get out of the fire, and into the home. and its a two edged thing, women, or guys, working hard to meet the demands of this masculine buisness world, or told the home is not the place to be, or you are too soft, not hard , not a real man. just like a girl is too soft, not for the world, to be included in the poem, not enough or intrinsicly to be included in the father/son thing. thats why I ignore it . I don't think that mark described at the begining is that far from where we are today. I think alot of things have changed, progressively moved forward, but underneath it, or maybe inspite, there are alot of those feelings still there, and they are shown up in attitudes and language. people are expected to fit these roles, and are looked down on, gossiped about, or forced to alter their lives to suit other people because they can't get their head around someone doing things differently, or rather comfortably for them. so, I don't like the terms 'real' men or woman, because what is 'real'?. you are saying everybody else is a fake, not good enough, and really does anyone fit those categories. do you, completely, or ever expect to? and i'm trying to think of an example of what a real woman would be, would she be gorgeous (curvy, thin?) and housewife, or would she be gorgeous, a housewife, a career woman, intelligent, with a full balance of outside interests, with time spare for campaigning on good causes....., or ..a prostitute who sticks to her morals. there is enough pressure, I want to be me, and let my conscious guide me. celia

Hmm. I'm breaking my staying away thing, I desperatley needed a night off from working though, so I'm justifing it . thats one of my favourite poems, but I always ignore the man part . I think I agree with Graem about the dna thing. but even then thats complicated and not clear cut. so what is a real woman? and I'll see if I fit the current stereotype or not. this is talking about ideals, and possibly what we are looking for or expecting out of modern people. and so the real or modern woman has evolved quite abit. right, slinking away again , celia

the walmart thing. if you shop at walmart don't forget where your money is going, and where it is not going, local, or at least, smaller, buisnesses and other employees and suppliers may go bust. but thats just me, I won't shop at Asda, the UK Walmart. thanks for the next chapter dom, I broke my self-discipline to read it and comment

yeah, but you can have connections. i think they are important, just have to wait and see and remain friends. ive felt the same way, wondering if sparks are 2 ways, one person recently havent had a chance to see them again yet to judge for a 2nd time.

haha, your religious views aren't that quirky. in fact, to me they seem normal, and what an awful lot of people believe. and of course the Bible is not the only source of Gods words, he speaks everyday. anyway, nice to read your first blog

hey, I hope things work out. keep your chin up , celia

just surround yourself with as many friends as possible . hope you feel better. x

well, your probably looking for the male opinion. but , i voted for partially shave. but i don't, I wax. the after shaving effect isnt pleasant and it grows back too quickly.

the fuss was that the tabloids were going to run a big headline on it the day after he won. he decided to pre-empt them. I think that everyone who worked with him on the show had known as well.

she's doing various support group things at the moment which are helping loads thanx. At first I think they possibly were raking over the past too much, but now they are helping her put into perspective/look at in a different way the events that have happened in her life. and learning alot about herself and behaviour patterns, so she's alot more confident about the future now. glad you have made progress. hope you do too tiger

brilliant sarah, my mum does the same. its a habit that she is trying to stop, and also she is soo much harder on herself when she is low, well in fact all the time.

well, what about going back to that person, (I presume person) if you can and seeing how they are doing, and if not, being a friend or whatever...

go for it, goodlcuk

to me the problem is people have different takes on, reasonable doubt. and letting people have such a power is a slippery slope. and often not regulated correctly.