MikeL

Thanks for the great clue, Gabriel. A new challenge will follow later today.

Generalfeldmarschall Erwin Rommel?

A redneck with a bucket full of live fish was approached by a game warden in Central Mississippi as he started to haul his boat away from a lake. The game warden asked the man, "May I see your fishing license please?" "Naw, sir," replied the redneck. "I don't need none of them there papers. These here are my pet fish." "Pet fish??" "Yep. Once a week, I bring these here fish o'mine down to the lake and let 'em swim 'round for a while. Then when I whistle, they swim right back into my net and I take 'em home." "What a bunch of hog wash that is .... you're under arrest." The redneck said, "It's the truth, Mr. Gov'ment Man. I'll show ya! We do this all the time!!" "WE do, now, do we?" smirked the warden. "PROVE it!" The redneck released the fish into the lake and stood and waited. After a few minutes, the warden said, "Well?" "Well, WHUT?" said the redneck. The warden asked, "When are you going to call them back?" "Call who back?" "The FISH," replied the warden! "Whut fish?" asked the redneck.

Baseball, specifically the Boston Red Sox.

Always: Two spaces after the end of a sentence. Always: An Oxford comma for the reason illustrated by Zombie. You might check to see that your settings are for U. S. usage vs. U K usage.

A woman who just turned 50 is at home, naked, happily jumping on her bed and laughing with delight. Her husband watches for a few minutes and asks, "Do you have any idea how ridiculous you look? What's the matter with you ?" The woman continues to bounce on the bed and says "I don't care what you think. I just came from having a mammogram and the doctor says that, not only am I healthy, but I have the breasts of an 18 year old." The husband asks, "What did he say about the 50 year old ass ?" She replies: "Your name never came up !"

Does Jim know where Dom is?

A cop stops a Harley for traveling faster than the posted speed limit, so he asks the biker his name. 'Fred,' he replies.. 'Fred what?' the officer asks. 'Just Fred,' the man responds. The officer is in a good mood and thinks he might just give the biker a break and, write him out a warning instead of a ticket. The officer then presses him for the last name. The man tells him that he used to have a last name but lost it. The officer thinks that he has a nut case on his hands but plays along with it. 'Tell me, Fred, how did you lose your last name?' The biker replies, 'It's a long story, so stay with me.' I was born Fred Johnson. I studied hard and got good grades. When I got older, I realized that I wanted to be a doctor. I went through college, medical school, internship, residency, and finally got my degree, so I was Fred Johnson, MD. After a while I got bored being a doctor, so I decided to go back to school. Dentistry was my dream! Got all the way through School, got my degree, so then I was Fred Johnson, MD, DDS. Got bored doing dentistry, so I started fooling around with my assistant and she gave me VD, so now I was Fred Johnson, MD, DDS, with VD. Well, the ADA found out about the VD, so they took away my DDS. Then I was Fred Johnson, MD, with VD. Then the AMA found out about the ADA taking away my DDS because of the VD, so they took away my MD leaving me as Fred Johnson with VD. Then the VD took away my Johnson, so now I am Just Fred.' The officer walked away in tears, laughing.

It's Desert Dropping (no "s"). The story is not about feces.

Eggs of a certain color are probably safer to eat than any meat of the same color.

?

Two rednecks are out hunting, and as they are walking along they come upon a huge hole in the ground. They approach it and are amazed by the size of it. The first hunter says, "Wow, that's some hole; I can't even see the bottom. I wonder how deep it is." The second hunter says," I don't know, let's throw something down and listen and see how long it takes to hit bottom." The first hunter says, "There's this old automobile transmission here, give me a hand and we'll throw it in and see". So they pick it up and carry it over, and count one, and two and three, and throw it in the hole. They are standing there listening and looking over the edge and they hear a rustling in the brush behind them. As they turn around they see a goat come crashing through the brush, run up to the hole and with no hesitation, jump in head first. While they are standing there looking at each other, looking in the hole and trying to figure out what that was all about, an old farmer walks up. "Say there," says the farmer, "you fellers didn't happen to see my goat around here anywhere, did you?" The first hunter says, " Funny you should ask, but we were just standing here a minute ago and a goat came running out of the bushes doin' about a hunnert miles an hour and jumped headfirst into this hole here!" The old farmer said, "That's impossible. I had him chained to a transmission!"

An Irish priest was transferred to Texas---- Father O'Malley rose from his bed one morning. It was a fine spring day in his new west Texas mission parish. He walked to the window of his bedroom to get a deep breath of the beautiful day outside. He then noticed there was a jackass lying dead in the middle of his front lawn. He promptly called the local police station. The conversation went like this: "Good morning. This is Sergeant Jones. How can I help you?" "And the best o' the day te yerself. This is Father O'Malley at St. Ann 's Catholic Church. There's a jackass lying dead in me front lawn and would ye be so kind as to send a couple o'yer lads to take care of the matter?" Sergeant Jones, considering himself to be quite a wit and recognizing the foreign accent, thought he would have a little fun with the good father, replied, "Well now Father, it was always my impression that you people took care of the last rites!" There was dead silence on the line for a long moment....... Father O'Malley then replied: "Aye,'tis certainly true; but we are also obliged to notify the next of kin first, which is the reason for me call."

Happy Birthday, James! Stay cool!

Computers ... ... are like women Computers are Like Women... No one but the Creator understands their internal logic. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else. Even your smallest mistakes are stored in long-term memory for later retrieval. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it. You do the same thing for years, and suddenly it's wrong. ... are like men Computers are Like Men... In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they are the problem. They have a lot of data but are still clueless. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that, if you had waited a little longer you could have had a better model. They hear what you say, but not what you mean.

The Pennsylvania Turnpike for all the above reasons. My first experience with it was on our honeymoon and I have avoided it since with few exceptions. But what a view!

How Bohemian!