Cynus

A very merry day of existence to you, Amon.

Thank you to Emperor Roland over at CastleRoland.net for sharing this. This video made my day if not my year. http://espn.go.com/video/clip?id=13536127

Such is the life of a shapeshifter I suppose. One could always become a girl for awhile as well. The possibilities are endless with these two.

Disclaimer: This will be depressing. Read at your own peril. How do I define success? This seems to be the question of the decade for me. I don't know if I've been successful in my life. My instinct is to say I haven't been, but maybe I am? If success is having financial security, then I definitely have not been successful yet. If success is reaching a position of power, then no again. A position of influence perhaps? Yes, I have some small amount of influence on the world, so in that I am slightly successful, not enough to outweigh the other factors however. Or is it happiness? If success is happiness then I am certainly not successful at all. I don't know that I've ever been happy, at least not in recent memory. I think most people define success as happiness, and it's likely they're right. Being successful then is out of my reach. Even with the people in my life who make living bearable it isn't enough to make me actually happy. I have good friends who care a great deal about me, and they too shake their heads in silence when they see me slip into bouts of depression, helplessly wondering how they can help me. I thought loving someone would make me be happy, and it doesn't. Even with the people I loved the most in the world, and even when they loved me back, there was overwhelming sadness and bitterness for me. There was frustration, angst, worry . . . plenty of ego . . . but happiness? Perhaps it was what I caught brief glimpses of in the distance, I don't know, but whenever I arrived at that distant point it was gone long before I'd arrived. I thought spirituality would make me happy, and it doesn't. At best, it helps make life livable, because at least I have perspective to understand that life is similar for everyone, in the respect that all of us have ups and downs, problems and fortunes. At least it helps give me the capacity to understand that life is more comfortable when we treat others and other living things with respect, and live with integrity. But comfort is not happiness, and therefore it is not success. I thought pursuing my passions would make me happy, and it doesn't. It gives me something to do, sure, but it does little more than fill my time, and oh how I need to keep myself busy! If I don't I will be lost in the endless melancholy, the boredom of one trapped in a life they can't stand with no end in sight. If I don't keep myself busy I'll surely die. But all of my passions, writing included. do not fulfill me, they simply keep me from drowning. Staying afloat is not happiness, therefore it is not success. And so the question is, what am I doing wrong? Am I trapped in ego? Locked behind my narcissistic tendencies? Am I so busy peering into the mirror of my own soul that I have already gone too far? Have I reached a point of no return in my self-absorption? Or am I just not good enough? That's the depression talking, isn't it? Or is it legitimate? Am I truly deluding myself into thinking I can actually make this work? Recent developments in my life seem to suggest so... even those closest to me are beginning to withdraw their support. So what the fuck am I doing? Recently, it seems as if I've felt that popularity would make me happy, and it sure as fuck doesn't. It can't even distract me anymore, and it becomes an addiction, with the worst kind of withdrawals. I didn't really believe popularity would bring me happiness, but the lack of it once I've tasted it? I never imagined that would be so disheartening, so crushing to everything I've tried to do. And I don't even know why. I don't know why is does that, I don't know why I care, and I don't know why it's happening in the first place. I don't know why I go on social media, here at GA, any of the other places I post, fishing for likes and reviews as if they will somehow make me feel better about all the crushing despair around me. I don't know why I keep trying to draw attention to myself, as if for some reason the world paying attention to me would be enough to illuminate my problems and show me the way out of this mess. It won't. It doesn't and it won't. Nothing fucking works, and thinking popularity would was grasping at straws. There's certainly no happiness to be found anywhere in it. And so I'm quitting that way of life. No more attention seeking. No more asking for likes, or reviews, or emails, or trying to show everyone that I can be witty, funny, and just as cool as they can be. I am leaving it behind me because it does nothing but force me into the addiction cycle. For those of you worried about me (As I know some of you reading this will be) don't worry, I'm not going to hurt myself. If I've survived this long, I'll continue to survive until something other than me decides it's time for me to stop surviving. What I won't be doing is living, because apparently that's impossible for me. Survival is not happiness. Survival is not success.

Jason's decision will be coming up in a couple of days, and then we'll see how correct you are about his intentions. I don't think any of them have ever been particularly malicious. Misguided, sure, but . . . I have a soft spot for people like Jason, because he's really just passionate about what he believes in, but he's trying to be a good person at the same time. He's simply misguided as to what that entails. Thank you for the review.

Jason's decision will be coming up in a couple of days, and then we'll see how correct you are about his intentions. I don't think any of them have ever been particularly malicious. Misguided, sure, but . . . I have a soft spot for people like Jason, because he's really just passionate about what he believes in, but he's trying to be a good person at the same time. He's simply misguided as to what that entails. Thank you for the review.

This story is largely about personal growth. In writing, I attempted to give each of the boys a large personal flaw. It's more apparent in some than it is in others, but they all have one. Each of them is working on overcoming those flaws as well, and a lot of factors contribute to their success in that regard. The interaction between them all is a large contribution to that success, especially since each of those flaws have corresponding strengths in at least one of the others. That bond of brotherhood they have is more than just a plot device, it's almost the entire point of the story. Thank you for the review as always.

And thank you for reading it and reviewing it! Jason just breathed a sigh of relief when you called him likable, by the way. He knows he's the unpopular kid here and he's glad someone finds him worth something.

Not only has his time with Chris been well spent, but also his time with Gary and Luke as well. Luke has shown him that a person deserves a chance before judgment is made about one's character. Gary has shown him that not everything is nefarious, because some people are just trying to survive and do the right thing. Ironic, I think, that Chapter 10 is titled "Conversations". Thanks for the review!

A threeway with Jason, the asshole, Gary, the one completely scared of doing anything, and Luke, the one without any inhibitions... Yeah, that would certainly be an interesting chapter. I think it would frighten me to write almost as much as it would to read! Thanks for the review.

Well, Tim, there might have been more profanity if I had decided to give Finn MY inner voice. I'm glad you enjoyed it.

I'm glad the profanity wasn't distracting, and that you liked the story. Halloween was always my favorite holiday growing up, and writing stories like this is my way of expressing that.

I adored writing Jack. He's one of my favorite characters I've ever used, actually. Of course, Finn is too. I ended up using Finn and Max in Ashes of Fate Season Two because of how much fun I had with this story. Finn and Max will do many things together in the years to come, and Jack continues to watch over them. I'm considering writing another story along those lines as well. Thanks for the review, Tim.

A very merry existence day to you, Rustle.

Cheers erupted from the crew as the aircraft’s engines roared to life. It was the third day of being stuck in the middle of the Canadian wilderness, and they were all ready to leave. For some, the time had been well spent, but for others it had been agony. Kurt watched the others with resignation and great impatience. While he understood that it would take time for Nevala to conduct the research he had promised to do in order to find Jacob, he was having a difficult time waiting. Jacob had b

I'm always in support of new stories. Welcome to the fantasy genre, my friend.

Gary was beyond devastated. There were no words to describe how he felt, especially after he had been so high only seconds before. The crushing realization that Jason knew about what he and Luke had done, sent him into a spiral of doubt and anxiety. That it was entirely his own fault filled him with self-pity; if only he hadn't written that cowardly letter, all because he hadn't found the courage to talk to Luke to his face. There was going to be an awful reckoning soon, and he couldn't immediat

Welcome, Ross.

Welcome to GA, Golden T

OUt of likes, but I loved it.

“Indrus said that we’re likely to find Nevala near Utikuma Lake,” Kurt explained to Hayden as they climbed into the aircraft with Micah, Peter, and Tristan on their heels. They were all dressed in thick winter coats with scarves and gloves, making it feel quite warm while they were still inside the complex, but it would be well worth the momentary discomfort as soon as they arrived at their intended destination. “That’s in Alberta, isn’t it?” Hayden asked, and when Kurt confirmed it with a n

As a writer, I appreciate the concept behind this game, and my best friend and I thoroughly enjoyed it. I enjoy learning about other cultures, and I enjoy folk tales. Putting these elements into a video game is an awesome idea, and i look forward to what they do with it in the future. http://neveralonegame.com/

Welcome, Donjr.

I'm loving it too for nostalgia's sake, even though it is ridiculously corny. So, it may be weird that a 28 year old is watching it, but I'm only a couple of weeks from being in your exact same camp.