Parker Owens

Sad, so sad. I ache hold the speaker, to interrupt the voice of the 'alter,' the nasty, sarcastic voice that tears away at the self and all that is good and whole. You make me want to shout that voice down, to send it in full retreat. But shouting rarely does that. Sometimes it flees at a smile, or a good word, or at an encouraging squeeze. God, do I ever know about that. You write about what I know can hurt. Thanks for this: it is so accurately and compellingly expressive.

Andy beginning to realize he can have something very, very good. Friends. Almost enough to eat. The beginnings of a place in the world. He's gained so much, at least as much as he had with Eustace on the farm. As you say, belief and trust will be the things that bring him out of the library. That's going to take time. Thanks for reading, and especially for the review.

Thank you for your review. Maybe you can sing it to someone you love yourself someday. I guess there must be something good about working late once in a while!

I agree, and perhaps I will hear the melody someday. Spoken quietly and with love, it may be musical enough.

Gary - thank you for your very kind comments. This sort of thing does not come easily to me. Hope you sing it for a friend one night.

Okay, Lou, you made my day right there. No matter what you read, can I encourage you to leave a review? My experience is that the authors really like the feedback from readers.

Thank you so much for the review! Glad you liked it, and hope your day is a good one.

Sleep, my friend, and peace attend your resting and your waking; Stars of light throughout the night guard every moment making Better day as night away with cold and mist is breaking, And love adorn your every morn and every breath you're taking.

You sure know how to write a hot scene. My hat is off to you, and what a great addition to your story.

Andy's pulled between the need to hide, and the need to be open with his new friends. His conditioned caution and wariness will probably lead him to make decisions about what absolutely must stay hidden, and what can be revealed. This chapter gave us a good idea of how that might play out someday. The friendship with Kaz can hardly be anything but positive. Thanks so much for your perceptive review, and for continuing to read the story!

Andy has deflected nearly all of these kinds of questions with a shrug, or if that won't do, something vague and general. This is the first time he's had to be specific - and this means admitting his poverty, if nothing else. His report card appears to have gone astray, but that's one of the many unanswered questions, as you observe. Thank you so very much for reading and for staying with the story so far. I appreciate your reviews!

His friends may not have a plan, but Terry is nothing if not determined. Andy certainly hates to get out from behind his barriers, you have that right. Thanks for reading and reviewing again!

Well, that was fast! Don't know how uncomfortable she was made by her own questioning. That may remain to be seen sometime in the far future. How wonderful it would be if we all could have an encouraging friend like Kaz. Thanks for your reading and your review!

November 10 So I got up Tuesday morning to run with Kaz. He met me at the track in the pre-dawn darkness. I was shivering in my basketball shorts and strawberry t-shirt – and brand new running shoes. I wasn’t just shivering. I was damn cold. Of course, I’d been there way early, sneaking out of the school to avoid running into the janitors on their way in. That wasn’t something I wanted to explain. Kaz loomed out of the darkness, dressed in sweatpants and a hoodie. “Hey, Andy, you made it.

Let me say 'wow' in return. Thank you so much for your kind and insightful review. Your critique of the violence done to Stefan at the beginning of the story may possibly be valid. However, I did base those events on factual accounts of real people. Unfortunately, it wasn't entirely fiction. Let me thank you for your perceptive comments on the uncertainty surrounding Stefan-Eric-Andy's name. Because his name is always tentative, he can never be sure of who he is. Can Stefan-Eric-Andy ever find the home and love he deserves without a certain identity? Is that true for any of us? Thank you for pointing this out so articulately. I am so very happy that you find the journal's narrator to be so engaging. I rejoice that you find his story compelling and that you want to follow it. Thank you so very much for staying with the story despite your initial distaste. If it helps to know, there is plenty more to Andy's journey (we will have to call him Andy for now) still to come. I truly hope you enjoy where he takes you.

David is all warped, bent out of shape and unable to figure it all out. The loss of his precious control is going to hurt more than anything. And he can't control that magnetic attraction to Twoey, anymore than he can control what other people think about him. The only thing he can control is his own response, his own attitude to Twoey. Perhaps David gets number one, but not numbers two or three. The whole suicide angle is very scary. As for Twoey, well, it may not be clear what it is he has to fight in order to get David, except David himself. Great chapter, SD.

Such a lovely couple. How well you let them warm us all up. Thanks for letting us into their lives.

Andy must really feel how important this group of friends is to him, despite feeling crushed by Zander being (as he thinks) straight. All of them are good for him, though, and he sees this. Next time, we get to see if he can actually run. Thanks so much for your reading and your review.

Now there is an expression that fits perfectly - Andy does indeed need an engraved invitation. He's so used to being an outsider, so used to being on the margin, that to be included is an alien concept. Terry was probably very disappointed, as you say, Andy stayed, even though crushed, which shows how much he values being part of this small, tight, group. Thanks so much for your very perceptive review. More coming this week...

The pot gets stirred and the plot thickens further. What more could be added to heighten the intrigue? Could Rory be Boy X? There are still other candidates. And what will ultimately happen with Fran? Great chapter.

In spite of himself...that's the perfect alternate title for this chapter! Because that's what's happening to Andy; he's very, very slowly changing. Running with Kaz will be a really new experience - totally new to Andy. And yes, it sure is getting colder! Thank you for a great review and for sticking with the story so far...

Andy probably didn't have a plan. That's been part of his way of living - all reactive. Maybe he'll have to change his mind about planning, after all. What a great thought. In the meantime, he seems to be getting closer to the group. It's good to feel that there could be people who can accept you. Thank you for this insight into Andy's mind.

I'm so happy you liked this chapter! He found he could make a decision that was good for him, and still keep his friends. As you said, a major accomplishment. Andy can't help wanting to be friends, even if he's disappointed that Zander appears to be straight. That's an accomplishment, too, in its way. Thanks for your thoughts and insights, which are very helpful and encouraging.

Thanks for this contribution. Andy must have been scared and torn about going, but surely couldn't have gone. Now running with Kaz is inconvenient, but maybe Andy feels safer with people one-on-one. As you suggest, that has both good and bad points. Now Andy has to get used to Kaz and his ways...ready to get up early and go along? Thanks again!

Thank you for this tasty and lovely denoument.