Parker Owens

November 10 So I got up Tuesday morning to run with Kaz. He met me at the track in the pre-dawn darkness. I was shivering in my basketball shorts and strawberry t-shirt – and brand new running shoes. I wasn’t just shivering. I was damn cold. Of course, I’d been there way early, sneaking out of the school to avoid running into the janitors on their way in. That wasn’t something I wanted to explain. Kaz loomed out of the darkness, dressed in sweatpants and a hoodie. “Hey, Andy, you made it.

Let me say 'wow' in return. Thank you so much for your kind and insightful review. Your critique of the violence done to Stefan at the beginning of the story may possibly be valid. However, I did base those events on factual accounts of real people. Unfortunately, it wasn't entirely fiction. Let me thank you for your perceptive comments on the uncertainty surrounding Stefan-Eric-Andy's name. Because his name is always tentative, he can never be sure of who he is. Can Stefan-Eric-Andy ever find the home and love he deserves without a certain identity? Is that true for any of us? Thank you for pointing this out so articulately. I am so very happy that you find the journal's narrator to be so engaging. I rejoice that you find his story compelling and that you want to follow it. Thank you so very much for staying with the story despite your initial distaste. If it helps to know, there is plenty more to Andy's journey (we will have to call him Andy for now) still to come. I truly hope you enjoy where he takes you.

David is all warped, bent out of shape and unable to figure it all out. The loss of his precious control is going to hurt more than anything. And he can't control that magnetic attraction to Twoey, anymore than he can control what other people think about him. The only thing he can control is his own response, his own attitude to Twoey. Perhaps David gets number one, but not numbers two or three. The whole suicide angle is very scary. As for Twoey, well, it may not be clear what it is he has to fight in order to get David, except David himself. Great chapter, SD.

Such a lovely couple. How well you let them warm us all up. Thanks for letting us into their lives.

Andy must really feel how important this group of friends is to him, despite feeling crushed by Zander being (as he thinks) straight. All of them are good for him, though, and he sees this. Next time, we get to see if he can actually run. Thanks so much for your reading and your review.

Now there is an expression that fits perfectly - Andy does indeed need an engraved invitation. He's so used to being an outsider, so used to being on the margin, that to be included is an alien concept. Terry was probably very disappointed, as you say, Andy stayed, even though crushed, which shows how much he values being part of this small, tight, group. Thanks so much for your very perceptive review. More coming this week...

The pot gets stirred and the plot thickens further. What more could be added to heighten the intrigue? Could Rory be Boy X? There are still other candidates. And what will ultimately happen with Fran? Great chapter.

In spite of himself...that's the perfect alternate title for this chapter! Because that's what's happening to Andy; he's very, very slowly changing. Running with Kaz will be a really new experience - totally new to Andy. And yes, it sure is getting colder! Thank you for a great review and for sticking with the story so far...

Andy probably didn't have a plan. That's been part of his way of living - all reactive. Maybe he'll have to change his mind about planning, after all. What a great thought. In the meantime, he seems to be getting closer to the group. It's good to feel that there could be people who can accept you. Thank you for this insight into Andy's mind.

I'm so happy you liked this chapter! He found he could make a decision that was good for him, and still keep his friends. As you said, a major accomplishment. Andy can't help wanting to be friends, even if he's disappointed that Zander appears to be straight. That's an accomplishment, too, in its way. Thanks for your thoughts and insights, which are very helpful and encouraging.

Thanks for this contribution. Andy must have been scared and torn about going, but surely couldn't have gone. Now running with Kaz is inconvenient, but maybe Andy feels safer with people one-on-one. As you suggest, that has both good and bad points. Now Andy has to get used to Kaz and his ways...ready to get up early and go along? Thanks again!

Thank you for this tasty and lovely denoument.

November 4 Two days ago, at lunch Wednesday, Terry and Kaz told me about the plan for tomorrow, Saturday. “So it’s going to be easy,” said Terry leaning forward conspiratorially. “Zander’s going to ride with Kaz to regionals on Saturday. Kaz drives back afterwards, and instead of dropping him off at home or at school, he goes directly to Alyssa’s. Surprise!” “While we’re running, Terry’s picking up the cake,” added Kaz. Was it just me, or didn’t anyone else pick out the flaw in this plan?

I can see the mist below, while your breathing recovers. Great poem!

A chapter to remember; a chapter to savor. For David to admit that he loves Twoey is a huge step. He's going to have to get used to not being in control, because if he really loves Twoey, he'll have to give some control up. Can he do that? The day of reckoning when the truth about Danny death and Twoey's injuries comes out has to arrive at some point. Hope it doesn't completely destroy their friendship.

Andy is torn between wanting to feel included, and the fear of yet another disaster at a party. He feels like a social mess, and he may be right. Of course, he really can't explain can he? There is always the option of withdrawal or flight, but the stakes are so much higher this time....Thanks for your review and for sticking with the story!

How hard it is to let go again, and again. To be surrounded and then bereft. You have written it clearly and movingly. Thanks for this installment.

Don't suppose Dr P could have made a sign mistake somewhere? What a terrible thing to realize.

Glad you liked this chapter. It was fun to write. Zander is definitely getting drawn to Andy; Andy is attracted and scared at the same time. The party for Zander might turn out very badly, and he knows it. Zander is being a typical teenager: committed to so much, and sometimes hard for him to see outside his own little box. He has no idea what's going on in Andy's head, and they're not really friends enough for him to ask. Thanks so much for staying with the story so far. Next chapter is on Sunday!

Thinking too far ahead and who knows what could happen? Andy's track record has not been good. He is surely hoping that his grades will go into the junk mail or returned mail pile, and then nobody will notice. There isn't much he can do about that now. Andy clearly is unhappy with the idea of the party; and after his fiasco at Toby's who can blame him? That you for your perceptive reading, and hope it is enjoyable. Next chapter comes up Sunday!

Inching is the right word, Zander is inexperienced and Andy is wary and both are shy. Very perceptive of you to remark that too much too soon could unnerve either one. But they clearly seem to get along so far, though Andy is the one who is most inexperienced at the whole friendship thing. Zander isn't as dangerous as Andy thought he was....not yet, at least.

There is so much for speculation. But the constant is Andy's conditioned caution and wariness. He's been hurt and battered by ill fortune too often to think otherwise. But it has bee fun to write about Zander and Andy's coming together so far. That you so much for reading to this point, and hope you enjoy what's coming - next chapter comes up on Sunday.

Apologies for getting behind. Great stuff, and the explanations aren't turgid or unwieldy. Now the tension builds...there actually might be an explanation that isn't nutty. Thanks!

Yup, it's common enough to mail them. Too many kids intercepting their not-too-good marks on the way to mom and dad. And the address thing? Andy really is hoping the lawyer is too busy to read his mail. Who knows if that's going to be the case....glad you read this!

October 30 I spent the weekend cleaning gutters for Mrs. M and doing light housework for the Abbotts. I’m OK with ladders and heights. You just have to be careful. Still, the ladder to get to the second floor gutters at Mrs. M’s is pretty long, and a bit wobbly. I was glad to be done. It’s a nasty, wet job. I can only be happy that the weather was clear and a little warmer than earlier in the month. Is this what they call ‘Indian summer?’ Mrs. Marjorie is giving me winter prep jobs eve