Jump to content


Author: Author
  • Content Count

  • Joined

  • Last visited

Community Reputation

425 People Like Me!

Story Reviews

  • No Story Reviews


  • Rank: #0
  • Total: 46

6 Profile Followers

About Luiz

  • Rank

Profile Information

  • Age in Years
  • Gender
  • Sexuality

Recent Profile Visitors

1,787 profile views
  1. Hi, Yeah, it's been a while. When i was a teenager (btw I'm currently 30) I started reading this kind of story and it really helped me and I grew fond of it. It took a few years but now I have a boyfriend so things got hectic to keep on writing. Yup, the story isn't finished. I intend on writing more... just don't know when. Please feel free to read others of mine and also.. as little as I can reply but... feel free to write. Hugs, Luiz
  2. Hi, Yeah, it's been a while. When i was a teenager (btw I'm currently 30) I started reading this kind of story and it really helped me and I grew fond of it. It took a few years but now I have a boyfriend so things got hectic to keep on writing. Yup, the story isn't finished. I intend on writing more... just don't know when. Please feel free to read others of mine and also.. as little as I can reply but... feel free to write. Hugs, Luiz
  3. Happy Birthday!

  4.  Hello Luiz, I trust all is well. It has been a while since you posted a new chapter. You have a dedicated following with both of your on going stories. I and they hope to hear from you soon, your writings are appreciated and missed.

    Today is your BD and I want to wish you a Happy 30th Birthday and enjoy your party. Don't start thinking you are over the hill now. Wait till you reach my age(67) then you can start to complain. Positive thoughts going your way.


    Take care


  5. December 18th, 2008 “I can’t believe tomorrow is already the last day before winter break.” I was saying as I was having a bite of my sandwich. “Yeah, it’s so cool this time of the year, you know, traveling, family gatherings, lots of pictures…” Nick was saying. “…lots of food…” I complemented and we both giggled. We were having ‘our last lunch’ of the year, as Nick won’t come to school tomorrow, on our last school day, because his dad decided to hit the road tomorrow morning, already. Nick is visiting his relatives in San Diego, for this Christmas break. I guess they’re staying there for two weeks. “You better take a lot of pictures to show me later.” I said. “I’ll miss you, you know.” Nick suddenly said kind of serious. He looked at me with those hazel eyes, like a tiger’s. And his longish hair blew with the wintry breeze. It was heart melting! Aaand on the top of that, he’s cute, polite, kind and very, very sweet… someone you want to be around all the time because of his ‘aura’, his own gloom… sigh… I know, I must be saying all this rubbish because I’m sooo in love *giggle* “This afternoon we gotta make the best of it!” Nick exclaimed, winking at me. “Hey, not so loud.” I corrected him above a whisper. He started licking his finger as if there was some mayo in it… I knew there was not… then he started slowly caressing his flat abs in circle, never losing track of my gaze – a jaw dropped one. “Quit it.” I said with a chuckle, punching him lightly on the arm and …er… blushing a lot, like a 16 years old girl… okay, like a 17 years old boy… deeply in love… sigh. “I love you.” he mouthed the words and then winked at me. He put his hands, one on each side of him, to support himself, as he was sitting on the ground, along with me and he was touching my little finger with his… we were close, our hands were barely touching. He looked at our hands then looked at my face, and smiled. “This afternoon it’s my place, k?” he said. “Own, but my place is closer and… we’re gonna have to waist tiiime waiting for the bus and stuff… and it’s… it’s ‘our last day’…” I complained. “We always go to your place. Let’s make it on my bedroom today.” he argued. “Please?” he pleaded with big hazel eyes… he knew I couldn’t say ‘no’. *** We were practically running as we got out of the school door to the bus stop. As we were sitting on the bus, side by side, it was kind of empty, I guess because it was in the middle of the afternoon and I looked at the window for a moment. When I looked back, Nick was staring at me. “What?” I said, with a smile. “Do you remember we met on the bus, like this?” Nick recalled with a smile of his own. “Yeah.” I simply replied. He put his bag between us, put his hand under the bag and grabbed mine and we were holding hands until we got to his place. “Do you want something to eat?” Nick asked as we entered his house. “Ah, not really, thanks. I guess I ate too much during lunch break.” I replied. “Don’t be such a spoiler… just say you do.” he said. “What?” I was confused. “Play along… right?” he said and winked at me. I couldn’t resist that charm. “Ok… let’s have a snack!” I replied. “Yes, that’s the spirit.” “Do you have a spanish guitar?” I asked him as we entered the kitchen and he went towards the fridge. “Oh, yeah.” he replied, opening the fridge. “Do you keep it, here, in the kitchen?” I asked, puzzled. He took a cake out of the fridge and he was smiling as he put it on the counter. I was surprised. It was a cake with my name in it, written with ‘M&M’s, you know, chocolate cover and ‘PETER’ in colorful chocolate! “Oh, man, I’m sorry.” Nick said putting his hands on his head. “I made the cake myself but I guess the cover was still hot and I should’ve waited to put the decoration… and it’s kind of messed up, see?” he said. It was so kind of him. It didn’t look like a ‘bakery cake’ but that’s exactly why it was so sweet, I could see he made it! As I was taken aback, he took the guitar. “Happy birthday to you, happy birthday, dear Peter, happy birthday to youuuu.” he was singing. “What’s that, my birthday is only in October…” I asked, not being able to hide the huge smile on my face… I mean, I was so happy… ‘though it wasn’t not even close to my birthday. “It’s just that we won’t see each other for like… two weeks… that has never happened before…” he said. “And what about the birthday thing?” I said, as I couldn’t resist and took some of the chocolate cover with my finger. “It’s just that… I didn’t really know you in October yet, so… so I didn’t have a chance to celebrate with you… nor to give you anything… so I decided to make a cake… it isn’t exactly like I expected but…” he trailed off and was starting to blush. I took the guitar out of his neck, put it aside and pulled him into a tight hug. “Thanks, that’s the best gift, ever!” I said in his ear, kissing his cheek, again, again and again while he ‘ticklishily giggled’. I put some chocolate on my finger and put it into his mouth and he licked it and nothing looked sexier than a blond cutie sucking chocolate from your finger! Things were really heating up as I pressed him against the counter and got some more chocolate to lick in my finger, and again, to put it into his mouth again. I kissed his cheeks and licked the chocolate from it. I grabbed him and he lifted himself on the counter. We took both of our t-shirts off. He lifted his butt and I got his jeans off in one motion and was sucking him, as his shaft mixed with the chocolate taste in my mouth… sucking it like there was no tomorrow. I took my pants off and when I realized, my shaft was entering my best chef in the world… as I was standing and he was sitting on the counter, facing me, kissing my neck, holding my neck. We came and he wiped us with his t-shirt. We put our pants back and he pulled me by the hand upstairs. “Let’s take a shower… now I’m sticky of chocolate and… mmm…” I finished with a giggle. As we were upstairs, he pulled me inside his room and pulled me on the bed. I was on my knees and he entered me as he held me by the waist, to support himself, while he took the hair off of his face. Then, we switched and as I was lying, with my back on the bed, he was sitting on the top of my shaft and we both erupted again. Nick is just the best. I wonder if I could possibly like someone else the way I like Nick… ah, probably not. And he’s going to be away for two weeks… what am I supposed to do in this meanwhile!?
  6. December 15th, 2008, Monday So, I got some advice from Mr. Thompson, and a tight hug in those strong arms… sigh… but I guess the best advice I got was from Mrs. Jenkins. You see, she doesn’t even know me, I saw her like four times in my life and she was the best! So, I decided that this is it, I should tell Peter how I feel about him… I mean, he’s so sexy and masculine, but what… what if there’s a small chance that he’s gay and even the slightest chance that he likes me back… I’ll never know if I don’t try… And, I put my earphones as I was walking outside the school door and it was playing the new Madonna’s interlude song, “Confessions”: ♪ ♫ I was three feet the floor, gasping for air trying to realease my father's hands from my throat I looked into his eyes and wondered if my feet would ever touch the floor again Have you ever been hit so hard that is sends your body diying across the room? We all fall to the floor at some point It's how you pick yourself up - that's the real challenge. Isn't it? I've açways lived in my own world. I danced to escape my troubles I've learned that there's light, even in the darkest places I can't blame my father for anything You can't rely on other people to make you happy But l know deep down inside he loved me I’ve never been in such a dangerous situation but, from ‘my background’ that you already know about, I felt this song was so deep, so sensitive I was getting sad as I walked, so I switched to the next song and Dave Grohl screamed: ♪ ♫ I've got another confession to make… Yeah, it sees everything around me was conspiring to a confession… yet, another song with a confession to make… ♪ ♫ I'm your fool Everyone's got their chains to break Holdin' you Were you born to resist or be abused? Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you? So, I took a deep breath and knocked on Peter’s door. “Ni… Chriis! Hiii.” he said to me as he opened the door, maybe startled as he wasn’t expecting me… of course… but so cheered up, his skin looked so beautiful at that very moment, and his smile, too, you know. “Er… hi.” I sheepishly replied. ‘No no no, Chris, don’t let it ruin your confidence, you came here to tell him… do it… do it’ I was thinking to myself. But there was a pause and you know when ‘time stood still’, something like that that the singer says… or the poet… “Oh, come in.” he ushered me inside. “Yeah, it’s kinda cold this evening…” I simply commented. ‘No, Chris, don’t start talking about the weather, you’re better than that’. I was pushing myself. “Do you want some juice?” he offered me. I was suddenly getting so nervous. I ended up taking only a glass of water. “So…” we said at the same time. I took a deep breath. “So, you’re my friend, right?” I asked Peter. “I’ll do my best.” he replied. I could see he was kind of apprehensive in his reply, I mean, that question alone was kind of out of the blue, I know but… but it’s the best I could start with *blush* “So, I took some advice, I mean, I tried and I got some different replies…” I was talking way too fast, wasn’t making much sense and there were ‘butterflies in my stomach’, you know. I was getting so anxious and Peter… sigh… his perfect angelical, but masculine features at the same time… if I said the right thing it could be all mine… no no Chris, don’t be stupid can’t be… sigh, however, how to continue saying this… “I like this person…” I blurted out and paused, and I continued “… and I want to tell him… them, ahem, him… that I guess I’m in love and… and…” Gee, making a ‘them’ turn into a ‘him’ when you actually speak the words, it’s much more difficult than I thought… it brings me a cold feeling to my spine… it must be fear. “And it’s you, Peter!” I finished the sentence and continued. “Please, please, don’t hit me on the face again, okay?” I said as my fear escalated… I mean, he wasn’t saying anything, he could hit me… gee, it would be so sad, I mean, not like last time, now I’m fond of him… very fond of him, and if he hit me it would be over. I wasn’t so afraid of the pain, the punch… well, that too, but… but by pondering I could never see him again! Say something Peter… please… “Er… I’m straight. Yeah, that’s it, I’m straight.” he said. He didn’t hit my face but he did shatter my heart, somehow… stupid me… what was I expecting! Oh, and yet, he could now shatter my face… “Please, please, don’t hurt me!” I…er… pleaded and kind of closed my eyes and averted my gaze… just in case. For the first time I thought ‘gosh, what was I doing there’… But surprisingly, he took hold of my hands with his soft, big, beautiful hands… wow, sigh… it was the first time someone took my hands like that… with that feeling – only from me, I guess… I was mentally kicking myself like in a ‘don’t be stupid, Chris’ mental non approval but… but his hands were soft, and big and… it was Peter’s! “Look at me.” I said to the greenest gaze I’ve ever seen. “I’ll never hurt you… and… and… *deep breath* you can count on me for whatever you need, okay?” he said. I felt relieved that I wouldn’t get punched. “Ah, and don’t… don’t tell anyone at school, please.” I asked him. It’s the first thing that came to my mind when the fear of protecting myself was over. And damn it, Peter was holding my hands… ‘though he’s straight… wow, he’s being utterly considerate at me… and Mrs. Jenkins was right, it would turn out alright! He was holding my hands with his big and soft, and masculine, and beautiful hands… and he was looking at me with deep blue eyes, dark blue, like the sea, you know… and wow. ‘Stupid Chris’ I was mentally kicking myself as I felt my eyes getting watery… I should man up in a moment like that… but… but I spent all my ‘bravery’ to come here and say it… and I felt so vulnerable… even shaky I guess… I hope he didn’t notice… well… maybe he did. Because he pulled him into hug… a warm, tight one… he was so strong, so masculine… and with so delicate traces at the same time… sigh. It was a hug that made me melt, like butter *giggle* and his cologne… not that intoxicating one that one just applied but only ‘natural his’. I buried my face on his shoulder and inhaled. His hug would never be tight enough. I couldn’t contain myself and I think I was soaking his t-shirt but I got there for a whole minute… or two… because maybe I wouldn’t get a hug from Peter… ever again… and I wanted to remember that scent, that texture, for the rest of my life… “Thank you, I better get going.” I said as I let go of the hug. I took my bag from the floor and didn’t know what to do with my hands after letting go of that hot body… with a sensitive head… and blue eyes, white smile… sigh… well, I’m so repetitive over it… you know all the rest… I couldn’t look Peter in the eye again in the same way… I mean, every time I would look him in the eye, the answer ‘I know’ would be… there. “Alright.” he slowly replied. I didn’t wait for him to open the door for me and quickly made my way to the door, closing it behind me. That evening, as I arrived home it was already dark but I didn’t feel like eating… I kicked my sneakers off, unbuttoned my jeans. I would take my t-shirt off like I always do, but I didn’t. I should take a shower but *bluush* I know it’s extremely silly what I’m gonna tell but… but I wanted to drift off inhaling the remainings of Peter’s scent on my t-shirt, my forearm and my hands. I was lying on my back, on my bed… and I eventually took my t-shirt off… just to inhale it *bluush* close my eyes and keep whispering Peter’s name. As I closed my eyes and ‘inhaled some of him’ on my t-shirt, I was feeling my hardon being restrained by my pants and I had to take my jeans off and my briefs in a motion. They already had a small spot… small but wet *blush* And I jerked off and came in no time, whispering Peter’s name all the time… I… I put the t-shirt back on *blush* and drifted off intoxicated by some of his scent… December, 16th, 2008, Tuesday Damn it, I woke up feeling bad… you know, I cried to drift off and it always takes the best of me when it happens… I didn’t feel like going to school. “Hey, Chris.” dad called by my bedroom door as he saw I was already opening my eyes. “Have breakfast with your old man.” he invited me. I didn’t really want to get up, but I went there, anyway. “So, as I was saying last weekend, we should move out of this house, sell all of this stuff, buy new stuff…” dad was saying as he was finishing his cup of coffee, already dressed up to go to the office, while I was looking like I just got up… I just wouldn’t say messed up hair because well… my hair looks combed even when I don’t comb it *giggle* “So, I decided we should move tomorrow!” dad announced the great news. “But, where to? Will I like it? Will I have to go to another school?” I inquired. “Nooo… I am already a little ahead on plans…” he started… yeah, that’s businessman dad ‘a little ahead?!’ I mean, we’re moving tomorrow! “So, I bought that house you suggest me the other day, close to school, etc., etc., you know, the lawyers from the office had it all set up, Mrs. Hershey from management got it all set up, it’s a ‘just go’ thing!” he finished triumphantly. “So, what’s it that I don’t feel joy emanating from some young guy in front of me?! C’mon! New horizons… nothing that you said or did should count anymore… right?!” he said with a light [not so light] punch on the shoulder. “Yeah, sure.” I replied. ‘Gr-eat, just great’… I was thinking to myself, me and my big mouth… what use is it going to have now being Peter’s front neighbor… just to have shame written on my face like… forever! “Well, I’m late, I gotta go.” dad said, already wearing his suit. “Ah, dad, can I skip school today… to pack my stuff…” I inquired. “Mmm… actually tomorrow night the guys should come and pack all of it, but if you want to do some of it yourself, it’s cool with me…” he replied and he was off to work. Well, at least I had an excuse to skip classes not to see Peter’s face and feel ashamed, like yesterday, today, once again… sigh. While I was settling some stuff in boxes, I found an old album… from when I was a kid myself… those are used by moms to create shameful situations *giggle* I was looking at various pictures of us, dad, mom and me, you know… as the afternoon passed by. I recalled each one of those albums, St. Louis, X-mas in NYC, X-mas in London, X-mas in Paris… wow, it’s been so long since I’ve been there for the last time… ah, the time dad decided we should make a safari at Tanzania… Mexico… Québéc… sigh, I couldn’t help getting watery eyes as I passed every picture mom was included… December, 17th, 2008. I skipped school again and dad was true to his word, the guys really transported it all in the morning. I had lunch at the downtown restaurant and when I was supposed to go ‘back’ I was instructed to be at the new place and as I arrived, the guys thanked me, gave me the house keys and were gone. I just watched as they left down the street, motionless, with a key in hand, close to the hole the ‘for sale’ plate had formed in the grass. As I got in, I got to er… *chuckle* know the house… it was smaller than the last one, but still in a very decent size… as now it was only dad and me… I mean, we wouldn’t need four bedrooms… and the stoned walls on the outside made it look very beautiful too. As I lay down on my new bed, the phone rang. “Hello, Chris?” Gee it was Peter’s voice… what do I reply, what do I reply… well, sigh, just say hello… and be careful to say just that. Sound casual! “Hi, Peter? What’s up?” I asked, as nonchalant as I could. “I’m calling because I’m worried about you. I didn’t see you at school yesterday nor today either…” he said. It’s just that I didn’t want to see his face… sigh… actually it was what I wanted to see the most… Peter was the one I wanted to see the most but… but… say something, Chris! “It’s just that I’ve been busy with… stuff, you know.” I replied. “Why don’t you come over for a while?” he invited me over. But, no, I couldn’t accept his invitation out of pity. I mean, he saw me crying yesterday, for Christ’s sake… who does that… he may think I have some brain issue or that I’m a loser… or both. “Ah, I better not… besides… I’m busy with other stuff…” I said. “Please, don’t be like that, okay?... Please?” he asked. ‘Wow, Chris’… I was mentally talking to myself ‘maybe he’s not as you think… he’s a brilliant guy who truly cares about you… I mean, he’s straight, still he’s trying hard to understand you… it may be very daring to invite you over like this…’ sigh. Oh, there’s a silent pause on the phone… I should say something… but… “There’s the science project. We never glued the dinosaurs to the model, what do you say we finish it together?!” he insisted. “But was already presented on Monday…” I replied, not understanding what he meant. “Yeah… but… but it would be good to have it glued so we can ‘save it for the future’, you know?!” he replied. I mean, I couldn’t decline forever… I was… I was dying to see him! And now that *I*, yeah, stupid me, suggested this house and I put myself into this situation… I mean: I’m a few feet away from Peter’s, I could see him by the window, speaking, if I was by some of the front windows, and I’m dying to see him… I… I miss him, you know, though he doesn’t feel the same... sigh… “Okay.” I simply said. “Sweet! See you then, Chris?” he asked to be sure. “See you, bye.” I said. “See you.” he replied. “See you.” I replied. Okay, I didn’t want to hang up the phone on Peter, he was so sweet for… er being himself… and he was being so sweet now… and well, with that he hung up the phone. I had to do nothing but only step outside, cross the street and ring his doorbell. “Chris?!” he said in surprise as he opened the door. “Hi.” I replied, kind of ashamed for being so ‘weird’ arriving like thirty seconds after his invitation. “How? How did you arrive so fast?” he inquired. “Ah, it’s just that dad was saying something about moving to a new house… to start over after mom… er… after the last sad events in my family… mmm… actually one me and him now, you know…” and I continued pointing to the house across the street “and as that house across the street was for sale and it’s close to school… well, he bought it.” I simply put it like that. I didn’t really have to say that I suggested that, etc., etc. Riiight?! He had a confused face for a moment. “How come you moved so fast?!” he asked, in a surprised tone. “Ah, dad hired some ‘specialized’ folks and other people to settle the stuff… actually I didn’t help, so I don’t really know, how…” I just shrugged in reply. “Why, do you feel like moving from here now that I live there?” I said, naively pointing to the street and his house across from it. “Noooo, it’s not that!” he quickly replied. I had my simple clothes, a white t-shirt along with a white waistcoat I was wearing at home, a silver chain… but Peter, he was deadly gorgeous wearing a blue sweater and dark blue jeans, bare foot inside his house… “So… can I come in… please?” I asked. “Ah, sure.” he said and ushered me inside. *** We were in his room for like twenty minutes already, ‘gluing’ dinosaurs to the volcano model and he nor I weren’t saying much. I was just thinking I was in his room again… maybe I shouldn’t have accepted the invitation and come up with a better excuse… I mean, I tried but he insisted… I couldn’t stop staring at him… I mean, gorgeous Peter in his own bedroom, close to his bed, inviting me… sigh… ‘quit staring, he’s starting to look back, look to the project’ I was mentally kicking myself and failing miserably. I mean, every time I was looking er… staring, he would look back with those piercing blue eyes. “So, about what you told me…” he started the conversation I was afraid. He looked directly in my eyes, like, looking for words to continue. Wow, so deep, so blue eyes, so beautiful pink lips… would never be mine… mmm… it’s just that it hurts to be so close, and knowing he would feel disgusted if he knew what I was thinking… what a loser… and now a loser with watery eyes. I just don’t know whether the heartache or the self-pity felt worse. I tried to cover up, be silent and look back at the toy and the glue in my hands, but he could see it. “I’m a mess, I know, I’m so sorry, Peter…” I said as I tried to dry the tears on my face with the back of my hand. Wow, and that was a magical feeling, a happy-sad one, a dangerous and warm feeling. He wrapped his arms around my shoulders. It was too much, and I should, I don’t know, somehow admit I was sad as I couldn’t hide and I was crying silently, with my nose buried in his chest. He put my hand, lightly, on my neck and brought me closer to him. “Take your time.” he whispered. “I’m sorry.” I said, looking at him as I let go of the hug. “It’s just that… I know you’re straight and stuff… and I’d like you to know that I’m no sissy and… I try really hard… I’m not nearly as cool, nor pop, nor ‘natural’ like you, I have to run away to home, to study my ass out and I… I have to lie to the football team about… *blush* you know…and…” I was saying and taking my breath. Then, he lay on the ‘wrong ‘wrong side of the bed’, you know, with our feet on the floor and the small of our backs on the mattress, side by side, talking a lot. And I guess I was talking too much… but I didn’t have anyone else to talk about … all the stuff… in general, and I guess if Peter couldn’t be more than that, he could a good friend… the best *giggle* Peter’s straight but… it felt so intimate… after all it ain’t all about sex, right?! I was talking about mom… telling him how I always know, every night, when I’m outside or looking through the window, which star is mom looking back at me when I look at the sky. I felt my little finger touch his as we were lying side by side. As he’s straight, he instinctively took his hand away… but he’s so so considerate (so much it hurts a little because of that too), that he decided placing his hand back and ‘push’ his little finger close to mine. I know should put my hand away as the right thing to do, but I didn’t have the nerve… I mean, it was my moment with Peter… my new best friend and… I looked at my watch. “Damn it!” I said as I got up from bed in a jolt. “What’s it?” he said, sitting on the bed, startled. “I… I have an appointment and it’s been so cool being talking to you here, and you, you’re being so cool… well, you already know that, anyways… I’m late.” I said all too fast, running to the door. But I wasn’t crying… I was happy. I guess I already said that I think this happy-sad feeling is passion… or love… well, I don’t know. *** I was glad I lived close to school now, because I could put my guitar bag on my back and rush to school, that was only a few blocks away. I promised Mrs. Jenkins I would be part of the Christmas presentation as Toshiro was still sick. I mean, I’m not part of the music club but it was just while the guy was sick. “Chris, just in time!” Mrs. Jenkins greeted me with a smile. “I’m sorry I lost track of time.” I said, taking my breath, as I practically ran to arrive in time for the school presentation. There were lots of parents and relatives… and friends I guess… on the audience. I could be cool about the guys from the team not knowing I was here because they’d never show up in something like this. I particularly think it was a shame, as a cultural thing is so nice… to the soul, you know… but for now I was very glad they didn’t come. I don’t know why I always ‘scanned the audience’ with my eyes… dad wouldn’t be there, I mean, I didn’t tell about it to him… I… I didn’t want him to come… he never goes to the football season when I play… I gave up on looking for him in the audience… “So, people, the first song is ‘O holy night’”. Mrs. Jenkins announced and people cheered. They were not nearly as noisy as the football audience, but it made me a little nervous yet. I guess it was because it’s all new to me. It wasn’t really challenging to the first song, maybe for two or three more we barely rehearsed… but the first one was an easy ballad and the guitar basically only marked the tempo. ♪ ♫ O holy night the stars are brightly shining…
  7. Well, as you're following 'real time'... I was writing the next chapter as you finished reading it in here... you can check next chapter ; ) I'm internally laughing now as you were 'Chris hater number 1' and now is cheering for him! LOL I feel kinda proud of myself to cause such feelings in a few faithful readers. Cool! But, actually, I don't think Chris will be that sad like you said, will he? Love conquers all doesn't it?! Hugs and good night!
  8. December 17th, 2008, Wednesday It was already Wednesday, and as I already told you, I have almost all of my classes along with Chris… pestering Chris, annoying Chris… that lately turned into er… one of my best friends… so cute and charming when he wants to be, with that silk straight hair, eyes green like the sea on a cloudy day and sigh… lately he suddenly turned into a declined crush of mine! And, damn it, he didn’t show up to classes yesterday nor today… and I don’t even know if he skipped football practice too… oh yeah, I forgot to mention on the list of qualities and ‘weird displays of faith’ above, that Chris is part of the football team… yeah, a jock from the football team falling for me, instead of a hot girl… “what’s happening to this world?” like the old folks would say! The point is, I don’t know whether I think ‘it’s not my problem’ or ‘I’d better drop it not to lead him into false hopes’… I hope they’re false, I mean, he’s so hot… *giggle* I’m kidding, I’m kidding!! No, I’m worried about him, I mean, what if he’s sad because of me… I mean, it wouldn’t be reeeally because of me, it’s not like I ‘asked him to like me’… gee Peter, you already punched him on the face, be more considerate, it’s like you already have a ‘karmic debt’ with him… sigh… if I only knew punching him on the face would lead me to this, I’d never have punched him – mental note, Peter, never punch anyone, for any reason – but, really, I mean, it’s like I’m ‘his friend’ now and it all started with that punch. Okay, maybe just a quick call and as he lives on the other side of town he won’t feel like coming over nor lead the subject to anything like that, right?! “Hello, Chris?” ok, I called him, damn it. “Hi, Peter? What’s up?” he casually asked. Sigh… be sincere Peter, he was sincere with you “I’m calling because I’m worried about you. I didn’t see you at school yesterday nor today either…” I trailed off. “It’s just that I’ve been busy with… stuff, you know.” he replied. “Why don’t you come over for a while?” I invited him over. “Ah, I better not… besides… I’m busy with other stuff…” he said. “Please, don’t be like that, okay?... Please?” I sincerely asked him. There was a silent pause. “There’s the science project. We never glued the dinosaurs to the model, what do you say we finish it together?!” I insisted. “But was already presented on Monday…” he replied. “Yeah… but… but it would be good to have it glued so we can ‘save it for the future’, you know?!” I replied. I know it’s a horrible reply but, hey, that’s the best I came up with! “Okay.” he simply said. “Sweet! See you then, Chris?” I asked to be sure. “See you, bye.” he said. “See you.” I replied. “See you.” he replied. And with that I had to hang up the phone for us not to be repeating it *chuckle* Aaargh, I know I shouldn’t… I mean, I don’t know anything… it’s just that Chris is heartbroken and it’s about me… but he can’t tell it to his dumb very very stupid – sorry, but they are lol – “friends” if you can call that so “I’ll have to do”, you know. Does it make any sense?! Ah, besides, maybe it’s not all about me, I mean, he’s drop dead gorgeous, he’s at the football team, for Christ’s sake! He’s probably forgot about me, right?! I was thinking about it, lying spent on the living room sofa when the bell rang. ‘Mmm… who should it be?’ I thought as I went towards the door. “Chris?!” I said in surprise as I opened the door. “Hi.” he sheepishly replied. “How? How did you arrive so fast?” I inquired. “Ah, it’s just that dad was saying something about moving to a new house… to start over after mom… er… after the last sad events in my family… mmm… actually one me and him now, you know…” and he continued pointing to the house right in front of mine “and as that house across the street was for sale and it’s close to school… well, he bought it.” he simply put it like that. I mean, as far as I know people don’t ‘just buy’ houses or don’t ‘just move’… other than that, I did not see anyone carrying stuff here in the street, by the front door… ah, maybe it was because yesterday I was having a long mad sex session with Nick *blush* and wouldn’t see anything that could possibly happen. Anyway, no one moves so fast! “How come you moved so fast?!” I asked in disbelief. “Ah, dad hired some ‘specialized’ folks and other people to settle the stuff… actually I didn’t help, so I don’t really know, how…” he shrugged. “Why, do you feel like moving from here now that I live there?” he said, naively pointing to the street and his house across from it. “Noooo, it’s not that!” I quickly replied to his absurd conclusion! This kid is shocking me by the day… I mean, when he’s ‘casually at home’ dressed in a pair of white jeans to match his white waistcoat, looking almost like ‘an N’Sync’ boy… and I do know he didn’t have the time to ‘dress up’, because he was here like thirty seconds after I hang the phone! Gosh, Peter, stop staring! “So… can I come in… please?” he asked with questioning piercing green eyes. “Ah, sure.” I said and ushered him inside. *** We were in my room for like twenty minutes already, ‘gluing’ dinosaurs to the volcano model and he nor I weren’t saying much. Every time I looked at him he would avert his gaze back to the project on the desk. “So, about what you told me…” I tried to start the conversation. He looked directly in my eyes and I couldn’t find the words to continue… and his eyes got watery, really fast… damn it, I didn’t know what to do. He tried to cover up, be silent and look back at the toy and the glue in his hands, not to reply me… but a tear fell from his eye, I could see it. “I’m a mess, I know, I’m so sorry, Peter…” he said as he tried to dry the tears on his face with the back of his hand. I… I didn’t know what to do… the only thing I could think of is… if I were him I would like to have a hug… you know, I remember how it felt when you need a hug and can’t have one. I didn’t think further and wrapped my arms around his shoulders. He was crying silently, with his nose buried in my chest. I put my hand, lightly, on his neck and brought him close. “Take your time.” I whispered. “I’m sorry.” he said, looking at me as he let go of the hug. “It’s just that… I know you’re straight and stuff… and I’d like you to know that I’m no sissy and… I try really hard… I’m not nearly as cool, nor pop, nor ‘natural’ like you, I have to run away to home, to study my ass out and I… I have to lie to the football team about… *blush* you know…and…” he was saying and taking his breath. Damn it, it was a lot of pressure going on that beautiful copper colored head! We were lying on the ‘wrong side of the bed’, you know, with our feet on the floor and the small of our backs on the mattress, side by side, talking a lot. Actually, he needed to talk a lot and I was trying to be a good listener, a good friend… “And well, with ‘mom issue’ I guess dad has never been the same again…” he was saying as he casually looked at his watch. “Damn it!” he said as he got up from bed in a jolt. “What’s it?” I said, sitting on the bed, startled. “I… I have an appointment and it’s been so cool being talking to you here, and you, you’re being so cool… well, you already know that, anyways… I’m late.” he said all of that in one breath. He hurried downstairs and I didn’t even have the time the proper time to open the door to him, but the important part is that I could see, at least, a small smile of his, on his face, to contrast with his sad expression when he first arrived!
  9. December 15th, 2008, Monday “Last school week, u-hul!” I was cheering as Nick and I were walking to my place, so we could ‘celebrate it, too’… you know, being horny teenagers, Nick is so addictive, his skin, his hair, his eyes, his perfect gaze, his perfect hair, his calmness, being enthusiastic at the same time, his sexy long legs, his sexy plain torso, his lips, not big, not thin, just right, and sooo kissable… We stopped at the bakery because Nick wanted to try this new sandwich the guys from his biology class were talking about, so when we arrived home we would go straight to the bedroom… because we had more time… “We have extra time… if you know what I mean.” I winked at him. “So let’s have a shower together.” “But it’s cooold today… no need for a shower right now.” Nick said grabbing me from behind and nibbling my earlobe. “Well, yeah, but I was thinking about a hot shower…” I winked again and grabbed him by the hand to the bathroom. I turned to hot spray on before stripping… as we were both under the spray, I started kissing Nick’s neck as the hot water sprayed over us. I was kissing his neck and washing his butt with soap and I could see he was hard, then we switched positions. “I think we should end the shower and go to bed, what do you say?” Nick said in my ear. I just nodded. In no time he was lying on the top of me as I faced him, in my bed and I noticed he was spreading my legs and making his way while kissing my cheek. “Hey, hon, I guess the lube is over.” I said and bit my lip. “I’ll take some hair conditioner, do you think that’s ok?” he said, already hard as a rock. “Yeah… I guess.” I replied. He applied some on his shaft and shivered. “Whoa, I’m gonna cum soon… you’re so damn sexy, Pete!” he commented. He applied some hair conditioner on my mmm… rear… lol… and tried to put his shaft there. “Slow down, slow down.” I said. “I stopped, what’s it hon?” he asked. “No, it’s nothing, go on…” I said. “Mmm… it’s hurting, it’s hurting…” I said and he stopped. “It was only the tip… however, I’ll take it off, k?” Nick said. I only nodded. We were both kneeling on the bed and I hugged him tight, his smell made me semi hard again, and he kept hard as a rock. I buried my face on his shoulder and started giving him small kisses. “I’m sorry.” I said above a whisper. He parted the hug and looked at me, deeply, with a small smile of his own. Ow, Nick’s so charming! “It’s ok, right?” he assured me. He lay on bed and said to me “It’s your turn, k?” with a wink. And that was a vision to see, his pale and flat torso, along with his longish hair all around his face, like a golden sunny frame. He directed his gaze upwards and put his hands above his head. He smirked at me. “Hold my wrists… please.” he finished with a wink. “I’ll take some hair conditioner.” I said. “No no, use spit… like they do on the movies.” he winked at me again. That talk was making me incredibly horny… After a few thrusts, I turned him on his knees and grabbed him, putting my hands on his abs. “Oh, Pete, please, I’m gonna cum, I’m gonna cum…” and he came while I was …er… doing him *blush* and in no time I erupted too, and collapsed on the top of him. *** “Oh, can’t you stay just a little more.” It was always like that by the door when Nick had to go. “I better get going.” he said and flashed that sexy smile of his. “Can’t you wait till your dad comes to pick you up?” I said. “Nope, not today.” he simply replied, never losing that smile of his. “But it’s only four o’clock…” I pointed out. “Yeah, but’s already getting dark…” he shrugged and hugged me tight, giving a ‘pat’ on the shoulder to finish it… as we were by the doorstep. So I had just me and the TV… and homework… but I’m no iron man, so it’s gonna be TV, right?! I heard the doorbell. “Oh, I guess Nick must’ve forgotten something!” “Ni… Chriis! Hiii.” I said to Chris, by my doorstep. “Er… hi.” he replied. There was a pause. ‘Invite the boy in, hurry’ mental note. “Oh, come in.” I ushered him inside. “Yeah, it’s kinda cold this evening…” he commented. “Do you want some juice?” I offered him. He ended up taking only a glass of water. “So…” we said at the same time. He took a deep breath. “So, you’re my friend, right?” Chris asked. “I’ll do my best.” I replied, kinda defensively. “So, I took some advice, I mean, I tried and I got some different replies…” he was talking way too fast, wasn’t making much sense and there was this butterflies in stomach feelings, a “good bad” one, but maybe mostly bad like in ‘anxious’, you know, I was starting to feel about the lead of this conversation. “I like this person…” he paused, I only ‘aham-ed’ and he continued “… and I want to tell him… them, ahem, him… that I guess I’m in love and… and…” ‘And?!’ OMG, and I was thinking ‘where is this conversation leading to?! “And it’s you, Peter!” he finished the sentence and continued. “Please, please, don’t hit me on the face again, okay?” he said with deep sad eyes. I could see he was kinda scary, like he got all the guts he had to come here to say this and… that was his limit, and he would fall apart at any moment. At that very moment he had that scared look, like someone who gets beaten by their father, you know. And damn it, that was his look to me. I had already hit him on the face and made his nose bleed, bad time… what a horrible person I felt… but the most important thing is, I had to say something back! And I couldn’t be as supportive as I’d like to and say everything out loud like in a pink world, because this is the real world, besides I couldn’t expose Nick! Think fast Peter, think fast… the problem is, when you think fast, it usually doesn’t come up with the best ideas! “Er… I’m straight. Yeah, that’s it, I’m straight.” I came up with. “Please, please, don’t hurt me!” he pleaded, with a pained expression, like someone who’s waiting to get hit. And I don’t know if, unintentionally, I’ve already hit him, in his heart, in a bad way… sigh. I took hold of his both hands, looked deep in his eyes. He was starting to shake “Look at me.” I said to the greenest gaze I’ve ever seen. “I’ll never hurt you… and… and… *deep breath* you can count on me for whatever you need, okay?” I said. “Ah, and don’t… don’t tell anyone at school, please.” he asked me. I could see he was more at easy about me that I obviously wouldn’t hit him – geez, I already did it, it wasn’t so obvious… I felt like a monster… I guess at some point I said it should’ve done some good to him getting hit, but I take it back or anything related that I said, I felt bad, regreted it. I could see he wasn’t looking into my eyes, he was saying that with a far away gaze, imaging the scenes of his douchebag friends hitting him… His eyes were shining even greener as they got really watery and the first tear fell. I felt like a monster. I pulled him into a tight hug, the tightest hug I’ve ever given to someone, it could suffocate him, or break a rib of his, but I could feel his shoulders not tensing up anymore. I felt him burying his face in my shoulder and inhaling. After one minute or two, he let go of the hug. “Thank you, I better get going.” he said, as he took his bag from the floor and was holding it with both hands, down, to his ankles level, alternating his gaze between me and the floor. “Alright.” I slowly replied. He made his own way to the door and I just heard the door closing. I was paralyzed. Maybe I shouldn’t have lied like that, maybe it wasn’t a good idea, but now I’ll have to be more careful with Nick, because no one can know about us…
  10. Hey what about Nick? Aren't u cheering for Nick?! I'm kiddin lol..im so glad u think like that..i hope the guys who dont comment think the same..thats the intention of feeling to cause: D But I do have a solution in mind...it mau be a long one and kinda very complicated; ) Smooches from southern summer!
  11. So perceptive... currently my preferred 'commenter' that put that I'm not 'cool writer' and I don't have many comments going on lol... though I had other writing attempts already... I guess most of what you commented is kinda claryfing... so check next chapter ; ) Hugs!
  12. Always open for happy ending suggestions... or suggestions in general ; ) Hugs!
  13. Hey, I missed your comments. And 'whoa' I'm glad i could 'convince' you that Chris is a good guy... because in first place i didn't know if you'd read this one... the first thing I remembered when I saw your comment here was you commenting right on first chapter that you didn't like Chris ... Actually, i don't know if I've already said that, but the characters kinda 'have a life of their own' (I'm not crazy... at least not much lol... what I mean is sometimes I start writing with a purpouse and sometimes it ends up leading to something completely different giggle)... that put I'm glad Chris, himself, could convince you he's a good guy... Mmmmm... a happy ending here is getting difficult don't you think.. he's sad a lot lately! What do you guys think could be a happy ending?!
  14. December, 14th, 2008, Sunday That morning, dad realized he should see me and eventually talk to me… you know, like fathers do. I guess he had something to cheer up his mood… “So, what about school?” he asked as we were eating breakfast. “Ah, everything is fine. I just finished my science project with my new friend, Peter.” I replied – yeah, the one who punched me, your office manager’s kid… but dad didn’t even realize I got hit, my nose got bruised for a week… sigh… I really barely see him… or maybe the point is he barely sees me, even when he’s at home… “Is he part of the football team?” dad asked. “Oh, no.” I simply replied. “You know, when I was your age all of my friends were part of the team… we were really like a team in and out of school… I was already clever back them, I knew some of them wouldn’t make it to college but we all hang out together, then I bonded better with my friends that made it to the city college, where we all graduated.” he was saying while I was sipping on my orange juice. “And what else have you been up to?” dad asked me. “Mmmm… I’ve been playing some of my stuff, drums, guitar, in the basement…” I replied. “Why, somethin’special happened?” “Er… not, not really!” I said. This is it, Chris, better not mention you got to know the music club to the old man. “So, dad, and you, what are you up to? What brings you the good mood, this morning?” I asked. “What do you mean?” he replied as was getting another croissant. “Mmm… I mean, you’re having breakfast with me and asking about my school stuff…” I shrugged. “I have to be all after my preferred son, don’t I?!” he said and winked at me. “I’m your only son…” I said ‘non enthusiastically’. I mean, I’m only a late teen, I can’t help it. “Alright.” he said as he put his newspaper aside. “I know I haven’t been the best father… but it’s just that it brings me a good feeling when I know my kid is going to the same college as the old man went to, to have an administration major and in no time you’ll be helping me with the office issues… and one day it’s going to be all in yours hands, all yours, you know?” dad said. I could see his eyes shining, but he wasn’t looking directly at me, he was probably picturing me like in his ‘speech’… sigh… ok, ok, I know I should be happy, but ‘only a teenager here’, remember?! Actually a more troubled one than I’d reckon ‘till recently… “Ah, other than that, … maybe in sequel to this thought, Chris, I’ve been thinking… I guess we should have a better vibration about here, thinking about moving on, I mean, with you at the football team for your senior year, all already set to go to college next year, I guess we should aim forward, straight, right?!” dad asked kinda enthusiastic. “Sure.” I simply said as I gulped some milk. “I mean, that’s how I do at the office, that’s how we should do here at home… by the way, I think we should move to a new house… you know, not to have this aura here that we kind of have since… “ he paused with a long sigh, he didn’t like bringing the subject up. He took a deep breath. “So what do you think?” he asked me. Whoa, that was a new one, dad asking my opinion about it. I should better have a good one then! “So, dad, I have a suggestion…” And that was a not typical animated breakfast at home. *** Later that day, after I played video games, watched some TV, played guitar a little, I was… well, just zoning out in my bed, thinking, as I looked at the ceiling. Yeah, if you were trying to guess you got it right, I was thinking about Peter, awful lots actually. I didn’t know whether I felt like smiling or if I felt like crying. I should smile – maybe not all that much life a goofy one… like I actually do *blush* I should smile because when you see a masterpiece, I mean, I learnt that the artistic makes it to bring this soothing feeling to your soul. In this case, I guess God is the artist who made Peter. I guess he must’ve gotten inspiration in the angels, in heaven… but that’s natural, because they are the closest to Him, right? At the same time, it’s ‘unnatural’ looking so beautiful and gorgeous and handsome and… devilish sexy I was thinking as I was picturing Peter, in a cloudy but shiny place at the same time, only with a white fabric wrapped around his lower navel *blush*, with his silk blond hair brushing with the wind, coming towards me… At the same time, I was sad, because I knew if he found out I merely think this of him, he’d never look at me again, he’d get disgusted of me… and if the other people found out what I’m thinking right now, other than Peter never talk to me again, I could be dropped out of my own house and beaten by “my friends” at school… I was thinking… I mean, I don’t know if Peter would keep talking to me… He’s so masculine, but at the same time he’s so different from the guys from the team, you see, he doesn’t have strong features, ample shoulders, strong forearms with lots of hair… I mean, I don’t have any hope he’s other than straight but… at least, if I had a friend to talk about these things… maybe I’d take this ‘heavy thing’ out of my chest… well, as the team guys are a complete ‘no option’… what if Peter… I was thinking, with watery eyes, looking at the ceiling. *** December, 15th, 2008, Monday After football practice… er… I reeeally needed to jerk off under the cold spray, to be able not to panic. Mr. Thompson didn’t show up because er… I guess he realized I needed that time. Well, I was still with wet hair, but already dressed and ready to go home. “Oh, I should stop by Mr. Thompson’s office to tell him there’s no one else in the lockers, that he can close it.” I thought to myself. “Mr. Thompson?” I excused myself in after knocking on the door. “Dubois! Say it!” Mr. Thompson flashed a smile. Geez, he had that ‘straight guy’ confidence I wish I had… sigh… “Hi.” I said above a whisper… yeah, that confidence that shrinks my own… “It’s just… it’s just to say that there’s no one else at the lockers… they’re empty… I mean, you… ahem, coach, can lock it… it is… if you want to…” I trailed off, looking at the ground. “Riight.” he said as he got up from his chair… geez, other than hunk he was taller than me too. “So…” he started with a hand on his neck… “… is everything ok at home, Chris?” he asked. “Well… yeah… I guess.” I said, not brave enough to look him in the eyes. “Are you suuure?” he insisted, lifting my chin with his fingers and quickly ‘eye scanning me’ for bruises. “Mmm… so why do I see reddish eyes?” he asked. Damn it, I cried so much yesterday… like a dumb one, for er… no apparent reason… I thought no one had noticed… well, I hope no one had noticed, except for Mr. Thompson up to now. “Yes, I’m sure. I mean, everything’s alright at home. Dad even had breakfast with me.” I replied. He continued looking me with questioning eyes. I could lie, but damn it, I don’t know if I was that good of a liar, coach was already suspicious and… sigh… it couldn’t hurt if I got an advice… “Well…” I started… In an impulse I hugged him tight and couldn’t hold the sudden lump that formed in my throat and it was so good hugging coach tight… he felt so good, and strong and… big to hold. He was caressing my wet hair – even if I buried my head on his chest and was forming a wet spot on his t-shirt – and my neck, and my upper back. I admit I was getting hard… *blush blush* “Whoa, enough of a hug.” coach said looking down, meaningfully. He got back to his chair and I sat on the other, across from his desk. “So tell me…” he said. “Well… *sob* there’s this… person… you know…” I started. Coach only nodded. “And I kind of like hi… this person (I know he ‘knows’ but still… I feel awkward about saying it out loud)… like, a lot… I guess it’s “the real thing”… but I don’t know what to do with it…” I said. “Mmm… I see. Don’t you have a close friend to talk to? It could help…” he asked me. “You mean, like one of the guys from the team?” I dumbly asked. “Mmm… I guess you have a point.” coach said with a thoughtful expression. “I guess you’d better not tell to any of these guys, Dubois, you know… they are good fellows but… how can I put it… I don’t think they would exactly… ‘support’ you, or understand you, for instance…” he trailed off. “So, that’s the problem… Mr. Thompson… I have this new friend… and he… I mean, this new… friend… well that’s the person I like…” I finished saying. “Well, maybe you should talk to him, but first you must think, how much do you know him? Is he an understanding person? Are you ready for a bad reaction?... I can’t answer this one for you, kid.” he instructed me. “Thanks coach.” I said. “Remember, anything you need to say, I’m here to talk, ok?” he said. “Now, off to the showers, Dubois!” he almost screamed at me. “Preferentially a cold one.” he winked at me as I was running out of the door, as he ordered *giggle* *** Again, after being at the halls, wet hair, bag on my right shoulder I was thinking if I should drop by at the music club room and thinking, you know, ‘Chris, Chris, don’t set up for yourself… you’re not part of the music club… and… and you can’t be because it’s at the same time than practice… besides, the guys would make fun of you’… I was thinking, but then I continued ‘But the drums could have a problem, after we had to fix’em last Saturday… I could only take a look and if everything’s ok, I turn and get outta there…’ and I was by the music club door. I entered and they were playing the song for Wednesday’s Christmas presentation, I guess… but they just finished and were gathering their stuff to leave. Two or three guys greeted me briefly. “Hi, Chris. How are you?” Mrs. Jenkins said with a warm smile. “Hi.” I replied sheepishly. “So, you could play with us this Wednesday, to the Christmas presentation.” she invited. “But… but I didn’t rehearse with you guys, ahem, I mean, with you. …Mrs. Jenkins.” I finished. “Oh, there’s no problem, besides, I reckon you already know how to play the instruments.” she continued. I only nodded. “You practiced at your last school, right?” she asked me and I just nodded again. “You have instruments at home, too, right?” she asked me and I nodded, yet, again. That would be so nice and beautiful… trying to recover some of the Christmas’ spirit, the ‘warmth’ of it, you know, that’s kinda lost in me… for the reason, sigh, you guys already know… Still, I had to refuse it… “It’s just that I can’t…” I started, looking at the floor… “with football practice…” “Is everything alright, Chris?” she asked, with a small sweet smile. I mean, she was a sweet lady with gray hair, glasses, black skirt and a dark red pullover over a white t-shirt. “Yes… er… no… I mean… I mean…” I was trying to conceive a proper reply. And she could start from that ‘nothing’ a good advice, with that serene voice of hers. “You know, Chris, music is all about knowing about feelings… so teaching music is all about getting to understand people.” she simply put it that way. “Well… there’s this guy… ahem, person, I know, you see…” I started – badly. “Oh, I see.” she nodded at me with that understanding look. She didn’t say anything else for me to feel secure to tell the rest… damn it, but busted, she knew it, damn it! But, that’s alright… I guess… I hope… I mean, from all people she would be the last judging person in the world… sigh… so serene, with a so ‘understanding smile’… anyways… “And… and… sigh… okay, I like him… like a lot.” I said. “Is he your friend? From school I assume.” she replied her own question. “Yes, he is… I mean, this person… I mean, he is.” I was trying to say. “But… but, that’s the problem… if I say this to him, maybe he’s not gonna like me anymore.” “You know, Chris, if there’s the slightest chance he likes you back… or…mmm… let’s say he doesn’t like you back the much you like him back… that you actually deserve, dear, would it feel better to let him know?” she asked and I only nodded. She continued “So, you should talk to him, tell him how you feel.” she was saying. “If there’s a star in the sky, maybe like a beloved one of ours, that we like but who passed away, who are looking at us from far away… if that star is called to this Earth again, to continue her mission, if she has a chance to shine and give one last sparkle, just one, again, and be gone after that, I’m positive they’ll do her best to give her best last sparkle not to miss a chance.” she finished. I had teary eyes and she pulled me into a hug. “Thank you, Mrs. Jenkins.” I said as I practically marched out of the room with teary eyes but a smile on my face… maybe love is this happy-sad feeling *giggle* and I was thinking to myself. “That’s it, I’m going to tell Peter how I feel!” I said to the early dark sky from late December, in that early evening, as the first stars were showing up.
  15. December, 13th, 2008, Saturday That morning, I woke up especially early, even being a Saturday and took a look at the mirror. “That’s you, Chris…” I was thinking to myself, cooper color hair – if it exists *giggle* - very straight, falling some in my eyes, green eyes, very green, never asked for them, but they remind of mom, we’ve always had the same green eyes, I like my nose too… I wish I was hunk like Trevor, or hot blond hunk like Bruce or… sigh… but that’s me… not that I’m not ‘decent’, I mean, I have a decent body… still no olive skin here, only from pale to reddish, back to pale… In white t-shirt and blue jeans, sneakers… took my bag and off I went. I would go to school to check if there was some extra training for the football team… well, that’s what I would tell dad if he asked but I didn’t see him that morning… sigh… again. Actually I knew there would be no training on Saturday morning, after typical Friday night out drinking the guys from the team sure had… so, I had some of my writing, my lyrics with me, on my bag, and one book, just in case. As I arrived at school it was empty… I have some ‘thinking spots’, like the beach, close to my… dad’s… er… our beach house. So I went to one of them… I went to the football field, to the benches, just to watch the low sun of December, slowly raising in the sky along with the wintry breeze that spread the leaves on the field and brushed against my hair and my cold cheek. I was wearing a jacket but ‘though I was in the sun, I didn’t feel like dropping it… I decided I should fill my water bottle before I start the day… I know it may sound ‘sissy’ somehow – that’s why I avoid this kind of comments… but only in my thoughts – well, it’s poetical somehow when the usually crowded school is all silent as the morning light enters by the windows glasses. It’s just the calm perfect atmosphere for writing, or reading a book… or composing some scratches… As I was filling my water bottle I heard a loud noise. It seems it was coming from the other hall. I went there to check and the music club kids were there. It seems it was rehearsal time. Well, weren’t rehearsal days on the same days as football practice? I quickly thought to myself. As I cautiously approached the door… I mean, I didn’t want to help, didn’t ponder that, but I guess just to check out of curiosity and, okaaay to help if someone got hurt, injured… something fell on the floor, it seems, from the noise… As I entered the room, it seems someone had dropped a chair on the drums and they didn’t seem cool about replacing the drum items back in position. “Gosh, I hope it doesn’t ruin our rehearsal, I mean, the Christmas presentation is already next Wednesday, guys!” Mrs. Jenkins was saying. She didn’t look cool, you know, a lady in glasses, lilac shawl and blue skirt, but she was ‘cool’, in her manner, from the inside, you know?! I mean, I’m suspicious because I do think coach Thompson is special, but he’s harsh on the guys… maybe part of his job, but Mrs. Jenkins is so kind when she talks to people. Last time she talked to me she was very nice, and actually I kinda run away… maybe I’m not used to that. I didn’t want to get involved but helping settling the drums wouldn’t hurt! “Hi.” I said by the door. Everybody stared at me… maybe it would be better if I just didn’t say anything… anyways, already spoken. “Do you need some help?” I asked. “Oh, we need someone who understand about music, band… oh and Mr. Johnson isn’t here today… oh, of course, it’s a Saturday…” “Maybe, I can help”. I replied. “Oh, do you participate on the music classes? Never saw you here…” she said in surprise. “Ah, it’s just that I have some drums of mine at home, too.” I said with a light smile. “And how come you don’t participate with us?” she asked, more like an invitation. “It’s just that… it’s just that… football practice is at the same time.” I was saying while she was nodding “…and dad likes that I practice after classes…” I trailed off. “Oh, I see…” she said placing one hand on my shoulder. “You don’t have to say anything else.” she smiled at me and motioned towards the drums. “Please?” she finished, never losing the smile. It reminded of my grandmother… I don’t see her very often. With that, I kneeled to start placing the bolts back in place. I greeted all the kids, briefly. “Okay guys, now, thanks to Chris, we can rehearse.” Mrs. Jenkins said and there was an applause. I blushed, slightly and looked at the floor, but I guess no one noticed, right?! “So, we’re here Sarah, George, Jordan… you guys here… where’s Toshiro, guys?” Mrs. Jenkins was saying. “Oh, he is sick, he’s got a sore throat since yesterday, teacher.” one of the guys replied. “Oh my… we’re not going to make it this way.” “I can replace him… I mean, only for the rehearsal.” I know I shouldn’t have said anything but when I realized the words left my mouth. “Oh, here, the guitar. Can you play the guitar?” Mrs. Jenkins asked. “A little, I guess.” I replied. “Great.” she said with a smile, let’s start! *** All too soon it was almost midday and hey, it was a lot of fun. After high-fives with all the guys from the club I said goodbye and I was off the door. “Chris?!” Mrs. Jenkins called me. “Ma’am?” “Come and join us to the next rehearsal, ok?” she invited me. “I don’t know if I can… there’s football practice and…” I trailed off. “It would help us a lot, think about it, k?” she finished with a smile and a wink. I just nodded and headed back home. Sitting on the field benches and watch the horizon, write something, reading something, as the wintry breeze ruffled my hair would be nice, but playing and singing, it ‘soothes the soul’, you know. I just knew I had to vanish this idea from my head… one would think ‘ow, Chris is doing it just to please his dad’… but, you know, the old man is going through a lot, and s’only me and him at home… I know he wants me in the team and if it makes him happy… well… But, that’s good, the afternoon plan then is playing some good’ol Slipknot on the drums when I arrive home… well, yeah, I do have the drums at home… and the bass, and a guitar, and a clavier… it’s just that dad gave me all of those and well, I like’em, I can play’em, but only when I’m at home… mostly I don’t feel like doing it lately. As I stepped inside, the phone rang. “Hello?” I got the phone. “Is Chris there?” “Peeeter!? Ahem… I mean, hey, Peter, what’s up?” I said. I giggled and he giggled at the same time, dunno why… “Mmm… hi, yeah…” he continued. Wow, gorgeous Peter, blond, cool, blue eyes, peach fuzz skin, flat abs, broad shoulders… sigh… calling *me*. Gee, Chris, quit the silence, say something, I was mentally kicking myself. “So…” we said at the same time. “Oh, you first.” I replied. “No, you first.” he replied me. “Er… is your father ok?” he asked. “Yeah, why? Did your mom asked you to call me to know about him?” I asked back. Like I said before, mom works a dad’s office. “Nooo, it’s not that”. he replied. I was thinking to myself, ‘he could invite me to his place… I could invite him here… but no, I asked all the week long and he declined… but maybe it was only because he was really busy… but c’mon Chris, when people decline your invitation repeatedly it’s ‘cause they don’t want to come over nor anything… sigh… “Ah, the science project!” he exclaimed. “But… isn’t it finished already? We concluded it last Tuesday…” I trailed off… I don’t know why I’m so silly, the ONLY subject we have in common... “Yeah… I mean, no… I mean… there are things missing…” he quickly replied. “Missing? Like what?” I asked. Gee, other than beautiful, he was so polite… and gee, his voice is beautiful on the phone, just noticed it now. “Er… not ‘missing missing’ you know? I… I thought we could improve it, that’s it improve it!” he finished the sentence. “Like how? What do you suggest, Peter?” I inquired. There was a silence. Now I was being lazy too, I mean, I should know what’s missing… even if this is our only subject in common… maybe… I mean, even more so due to this, this is about Peter! “Dinosaurs!” he exclaimed. “Huh?” “Don’t you like dinosaurs? Don’t you think they’re fun… like cool?!” he asked. “Yeah… sure… but what does it have to do with our science project?” I asked. “It’s a volcano, right? And it has trees around it, right?” he was saying and I was only saying ‘aham’ on the other side. “So, I thought we should buy some dinosaurs to put close to the trees, you know?” he concluded. “Ah, I see. But where can we buy it?” I asked. “We could go downtown to look for it. What do you say?” he invited me. ‘Wow, an invitation from Peter, stop hyperventilating’ I was thinking to myself, in silence “Cool!” I replied and when he said ‘bye’ I felt like holding the phone against my chest and hug it tight, but gee, I needed to shower, put other clothes, get ‘more beautiful’, but nooo, I didn’t want to be late. We met in downtown and damn it, I should’ve worn another set of clothes. Peter looked sooo perfect, in red jacket, dark blue jeans along with silk blond hair and piercing blue eyes… ah and a smile to die for! We ended up having a lot of fun going to toy stories to look for dinosaurs. I admit I ‘didn’t like’ the dinosaurs in the first three stores we went to, just to be able to keep walking a little more beside him, and looking at him, and smelling that strawberry along with clean clothes and shampoo smell when the breeze hit his blond straight locks, close to his cheeks… sigh. Actually it was a lot of fun. We ended up going to another store, we bought three mini dinosaurs to put around the volcano model, in the project and we stopped at the parlor. “Which flavor are you gonna chose?” he asked me as we were by the counter, choosing. “I don’t know. Which flavor are you gonna chose?” I asked back. “Mmmm… I don’t know. You choose first.” he said. “But I wanna choose the same you do.” I replied. Gee, Chris, it sounded so stupid. I mentally kicked myself, but I couldn’t help. I mean, how would you react if your Hollywood star idol went to the parlor along with you, you know?! I know I should stop thinking rubbish, because first of all, Peter is straight and er… second of all, Peter is straight and… he’s so gorgeous, never would want anything with me… however, I sighed as I watched him lick the ice cream and his lips got all reddish and sweet (I assume as I never kissed him… sigh). *** He was kind of quiet and that didn’t make things any easier. I had to concentrate to not to say stupid stuff and, on the top of that, to come up with some conversation. “You live close to school. It saves you a great deal of a problem, huh.” I said. I know, silly me, but that’s the best I could do. “Yeah, it saves some time.” he simply replied. Say something Chris, say something… I was mentally kicking myself. “Look, there’s a house for sale.” I pointed out. Sigh, gee, thank you, we’re already in front of his place. “I didn’t notice it. They should’ve put the ad there just a couple of days ago.” he replied. “Come in”. he said as we arrived. “Excuse me.” “Do you want some water, juice…?” he asked. “No, thanks.” “Let’s go upstairs to ‘re-finish’ our project.” he said with a chuckle. I just followed him. I was sitting on my bed, looking all around and not looking at anything, like ‘looking at the blank’, at the same time, you know. “It must be hard for you to have so high grades, be a good student, and practice at the football team…” he was commenting while he was settling the project on my desk. “Chris?” he insisted as I zoned out, between my thoughts on the subjects he touched and his beautiful face features. “It’s difficult…” I started. “It’s not being easy this year, with the guys and there’s a lot of homework… and actually, since last season we haven’t been doing fine… maybe a lot of it is my failure…” I was saying. “Hey, I don’t think it is true.” he replied, always so kind. “Well, actually it is… as you said yourself the other day… everybody say that ball I missed during the last game, last season, and the ‘given touchdown’ I missed on the game before that…” I trailed off and shrugged. “But I’m sure your dad is proud of you.” he continued. “Yeah… I guess.” I shrugged and looked at the floor. It would be better than saying no, and saying no would still be better than saying ‘he barely knows what I do and I barely seem him… “But your mother must be very proud… I mean, every mom would love to have her kid at the football team and with a straight-A result during classes”. he giggled and smiled at me with a warm smile, you know. “Actually, mom passed away last year.” I replied and looked at him – gee, very blue eyes, really… I shrugged and looked at his side for a moment. I don’t know whether it was a sad feeling or a ‘not belonging one’. I mean, it’s uncool commenting about it with the guys from the team, my mates from school… you know, I mean, it would be a ‘sissy’ topic. A normal guy from the team would reckon people die, period. And I should move on and get hunk, and win the prize… but honestly with them, difficult task… however, I don’t know if there’s a ‘moving on and not crying’ male’s rule exception for moms… As I looked at the floor again, I let the toy dinosaurs I was holding my his hands fall on the floor. As I tried to catch them, by reflex, they ended up right behind Peter’s bed. “Hey, sorry, my bad. Where is it?” I said as I kneeled beside the bed and put my head under the bed. “There are some boxes here, let me help you looking for it.” he said. “Got it, got it.” I said and was holding the toy in my hand. Peter kinda pulled me by the arm and when I realized he was kneeling upon my navel, both of us on the floor. “There’s some dust on your hair… let me” he said with a smile, and lightly took two or three grains of dust out of it, close to my face and my ear. Gee, his blue eyes, Chris, you shouldn’t be looking so much, so close. Wow, Peter’s touch… he was kneeling on my torso, like overpowering me and that was his touch and I was so close to his tight… to his… crotch *blush* “Peter… I…” I started. “I gotta go…” I said and averted my gaze from his eyes. “I better get going.” I said, never looking in his eye again, afraid to lose control and try to kiss him and that he’d call me names, and I would never get to see him again, even from some ‘male safe distance’ it’s better than nothing and… I would start tear up if I didn’t leave. “Ah, okay, sorry.” he said, getting up, so I got up and quickly went downstairs and as he opened the door for me, I don’t know if I was too harsh not to say proper goodbye but I left and the tears started running, slowly on my cheeks as the cold breeze blew my tears and my hair on the way home.
  • Create New...

Important Information

Our Privacy Policy can be found here. We have placed cookies on your device to help make this website better. You can adjust your cookie settings, otherwise we'll assume you're okay to continue..