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I loved this story and it ended in the best possible way. Thank you!

Wow! Rafe. Maintaining that much hostility over 16 years takes immense, corrosive emotional energy. I’m reminded of the saying, “resentment is like taking poison and expecting the other person to die.“ I’m hoping it’s merely a humorous expression of surprise and emotional release, rather than actual hate. If there are still deep feelings between the two of them, it will be interesting to see how that extra bit of conflict plays out. My heart literally aches for Lucas. His kind of loss I think is the hardest to bear. That letter really got to me. ThIs story mines some very deep, potent emotional veins, and you’re handling it so well. It seems that every chapter touches some still painful part of my own life, and causes deep reflection.

Roh-roh. Tristan is allowing his justifiable disgust with Finnishia, and his understandable admiration for Jon-Jon’s “attributes”, to cloud his judgment. How frustrating when the cover-up has become the crime.

Colin is such a breath of fresh air, especially compared to Finnishia. (That line about Nebraska was hilarious!) Every gay boy (and girl) needs a good learning experience, and he provided that for Tristan. Great job on switching from 1st to 3rd person; it was was seamless and easy to read. I feel badly for these kids who are shouldering a burden far too heavy for their years.

That was both painful and powerfully illuminating to read. The cold pool analogy is a brilliant analysis of grief. Thank you for opening your heart and sharing that. Oy...the Jewish mother returns. I can feel my chest tightening already. I picture the Anne Bancroft role in Torch Song.

Mon dieu...that was some hot self-discovery for Grey: that he loves dick, especially Lucas’, and that guys ALWAYS give better blow jobs!! 😈 Great chapter. Lucas’s one-one-one is bound to generate some tearful, painful drama. I’m looking forward to seeing how they weather that. Another Johnny Breeze story? YAYYYYY!

Great chapter. Grey’s one-on-one was spooky AF. I just sat here reading and thinking, OMG. You show surreal insight in your creation of his character. I’m both loving this story, and feeling grateful I don’t need a Valium to get through it. Yet. I suspect the Manhattan I mixed and drank earlier this evening helped. 😏

Aaaaaagggghhhhh! A cliff.

Buh-bye, Finnishia! Really good story. One could see the evolution of this. Not surprised at all. Someone like Colin is a much better fit. Conflicted straight-ish/closet case boys are rarely worth the trouble or heartache.

For the first time ever, I had to use my PC to log in to Gay Authors see the emojis you used. They don't show up in iPad OS. I've been missing out.

Young Tristan is beyond adorable! I also worry about Brayden; I’ve seen employees lose their merde in normal employment termination circumstances. Given his background, training, and disposition, he’s going to be a dangerous loose cannon unless he’s “contained“. Containment could even take the form of a golden parachute agreement that comes with an NDA, monitoring, and harsh financial penalties for any bad behavior. Or maybe...he hatches an evil plan to seek revenge on TJ, and before he can execute it, karma swoops in and hits him with a bus in Midtown. Just random thoughts. 😏 Not sure why, but I’m nervous about the upcoming conversation between TJ and JC. I just hope there are no bombshells to interfere with their ongoing relationship. Although TJ is warming back up to JC, he still maintaining a bit of distance.

Yes I did forget. It must be because @weinerdog and I felt that BHO had somehow tracked our backgrounds.😉 It’s funny how I had blocked Sebastian from my consciousness. I think he is best left in that forgotten state. The filthy bastard.

This is a case in which older adults in positions of parental authority are less mature than the kids. Emily needs to grow up. When JT reminisced that JC kissed like no other, that suggests there have been others. I can’t blame him as five years is a long time, and he had thought he had to let JC go, but I just hope it doesn’t complicate any reconciliation. Thank God for Kevin and Jeff. Their kids sound absolutely adorable. Great chapter.

I lived in San Diego 10+ years, spent time in Key West, and now live in the San Francisco Bay area. I’m feeling the same strange sense that you are! LOL

Oooooh, tease! 😏 I hope JC isn’t in for more heartbreak.. Hmmmm...sounds like karma is on its way to Brayden’s place.

Yeah, they both frustrate me and break my heart. A good cleansing detox of poison people would greatly benefit them both. I’ve spoken to one of them in particular (as has my husband) until I’m oxygen-deprived - to no avail. He’ll agree with me on the need AND RIGHT to control his own life but never take any action. It saddens me that he’s so self-destructively ineffectual. His mother even shows up for weeks or months-long visits so she can better control his life. One incident that really pissed me off was when she went through all his things while he was at work, and threw away everything of which she disapproved - including his complete Sex and the City hot pink velvet boxed set! (I doubt she even knew what it was, but saw “sex” in the title so it had to go.) I’d have disowned my mother for a stunt like that. (Oh, my friend’s mother is evangelical, allegedly Christian, BTW.) I’d recently spoken to him when I read this chapter, and the character of Grey’s mother turned out to be a potent trigger that set me off.

Compelling chapter! Brayden has the intelligence, demeanor and self-satisfied BS-filled character of a low-level I.C.E. agent, or a Buffalo, NY riot cop. His toxic level of incompetence and arrogance should cause him to be demoted to the mail room. CC really is the brains and heart of the organization. I hope TJ gives her a fair hearing. JC is a saint to have waited five years (!) and never given up. One doesn’t often encounter such devotion in life. Though you don’t address it, I wonder if TJ ever dated or hooked up during those years. Those two need to be together.

The emotional and psychological tension in this chapter was so palpable, I couldn’t wait to get to the next paragraph. I’ll admit that some of it was uncomfortable as I have known more than one good friend whose personal happiness was permanently aborted by trying to please a demanding, intrusive, homophobic mother who was more concerned with what people would think than she was with seeing her son truly content. Even though I can sympathize with her background, Grey’s mother already pisses me off in a visceral way. Ultimately, it was my friends‘ choice in how they lived their lives, but still… With Lucas‘s help, Grey has made remarkable progress in self-discovery. However, I wouldn’t expect the process to be quick or easy, and I’m glad you’re not taking shortcuts. This is a compelling story, and one that feels too familiar.

Wow! Are they finally going to come clean and spill to TJ? That’s an awful lot to lay on a kid, and it could even compromise his safety, but at least everything would be out in the open. Maybe that’s necessary for him to heal. (I’m thinking out loud. It is out loud because I dictate most things.) I’m happy and relieved that TJ decided to move in with JC. Connections such as theirs don’t happen every day, and sometimes they never happen. He needs to hold onto him. The reason for TJ’s outburst at lunch wasn’t super obvious, and I’m glad he came clean to his uncle and then called his therapist. Those are important recovery steps. JC is wise to let TJ make the moves and increase the level of physical affection between them as he feel safe. That shows that JC is driven by love and not just by teen hormones. PS: I’m so glad you post frequently, because I can hardly wait for the next chapters.

You’re right, though that doesn’t indicate the size of the firm or his ownership interest. I’ve known some firm names that list the managing/principal partner last because that’s what people remember (my first law firm was like that), and others put that person first in the title.

That’s encouraging; I feel for TJ. I know it’s the dads’ place, and I know what attorneys earn. 😉 I’m also very familiar with that part of town; unless one is a hedge fund manager, though, $36M is beyond most professional salaries, even with profit sharing. (Jack must have a substantial ownership interest in the firm, and it has to be doing better than many NY law firms right now.) Brownstones and townhouses are actually a better buy these days. Even with all that, it’s a fun fantasy! I love that view.

I hope TJ can work through his issues in time so he doesn’t lose JC by either pushing him away or not being able to move forward. Hints peppered throughout the story suggest that TJ’s sexual/social reticence predates the rape, however, and likely has deeper roots. I wonder what else is going on with him. His unusual expertise at compartmentalizing emotional pain (he’d forgotten JC in spite of the separation trauma) worries me a lot. Without acknowledgement or an outlet, that emotional pain turns inward where it can cause profound damage. Seems he’s found Dr. Hottie in the nick of time. By the way, I realize that Tracy and Jack are fairly successful, but how in the world did they manage to purchase a two-floor condo on billionaire’s row in Manhattan?! I know, I know, all literary works require the willing suspension of disbelief, and all... 😏

This story’s plot lines and character reveals remind me of a road I once travelled in the Swiss Alps. There were so many twists, turns, and switchbacks, one had to concentrate to keep one’s wits to avoid becoming part of the scenery below. 😏 I don’t think I want Dylandouche and Sebashat dead quite yet. They need to suffer a criminal trial, public humiliation, reputation destruction, smirk removal, and then do some hard time.

It’s unusual for brothers five years apart to be so physically similar that it caused Tristan‘s widow to faint.