Krista

Better person than me, at least when it comes to cinnamon buns. I'm glad you think their hearts are golden. The feedback I look forward to most are character feedback. I don't pretend to be good at this writing thing, I know I have a lot of things to learn. My dialog structure glares angrily back at me, and I mostly refuse to break that bad habit. Grammatically, there are issues. Punctuation... etc. But, I try my best with character development. I do this writing, mostly, for characters. Trace, more than Celia, was a character I wanted to develop. So, I worry more about his character than I did with most everyone else, aside from Joel for obvious reasons. If you can't stand Joel, there's no point in getting to know the rest of them.

For some reason, putting them in alphabetical order in your comment satisfied me a little bit. I'm a bit worried about the next chapter. I feel it is one that I needed to make the effort with Trace's decision justified in the attempt... not going to lie, I almost posted both chapters together. But I need to behave myself or face the consequences of an angry Wildthing.

Aww thank you! I'm glad you enjoy my story telling. Encouragement like this makes me want to start building my playlist of music and character list for one of the two story ideas I have floating around in my head.

This is the perfect way to describe this chapter.

Now would be the perfect time for a slam dunk of a plot twist, wouldn't it? Complete blindside. *Looks at the 225k more written words left to post* Damn that missed opportunity, would've saved me the loss of sanity reworking the floorplan. lol. On a serious note, I haven't met anyone that can change overnight, so I doubt Joel's parents would be any different.

I felt that pain when I had multiple things going on at one time. When a story burned me out, I'd start on an idea and new project. I had three going at one time, possibly more. I would like to think that I've been able to manage all of that better, but I know I haven't. I may have written this story (most of it), after finishing all my other projects. But, I started it 'knowing' I had other projects to finish. So, for now I can say I've learned my lesson, until that lesson comes back and bites me later on. Annnnnnnnd this is a no hijack zone, you couldn't possibly hijack it unless we both get horribly off-topic, but even then a conversation is taking place.

Mostly, it is more or less a burden of patience with me. Knowing I have multiple chapters sitting edited/read and Wildthing approved isn't good for me. I want to show you all my writing, I just usually don't have it to show... now that I do, yikes. I had this chapter scheduled to post at 8pm today, but logged in and posted it early. I almost posted it last night, but decided not to and even then, my mouse hovered over the "publish now" option, but it didn't slip this time.

Aww. It is a day early. Also, this was one of the chapters that we split. So, it sort of ends on a cliffhanger that never would have existed if I behaved myself and found a better place to end this chapter instead of writing the monstrosity of a chapter that needed splitting. At least you got the meet some new characters.

I didn’t run, even though most of me wanted to open the bathroom door, find the door off the kitchen I saw earlier. Not looking back, ignoring Trace’s voice that I knew I would hear calling me back when my own father didn't. I knew I wouldn’t be able to answer the questions he would demand of me in the morning. I also didn’t want to ride all the way back home, knowing I didn’t have one there anymore. I didn’t want to see Cody’s hopeful face or Mom’s dark brown eyes looking at me the same way I l

Or a third reaction of... "Oh damn... no, I couldn't possibly. I am working on a 250k word 'anthology idea' and I can't handle another one." *whistles* I also forgot about both the Secret Author and the Anthology. I have time to do the Anthology, even have an idea for it... but it will spiral out of control and I know that it will.

Yikes. Remember when I said there were problematic aspects to this story....? Lol. 😮 Little naive 13 year old me is to blame.

Talking is sometimes the most difficult thing for people to do. Especially if they've made the attempt in the past and have been shut down by the people around them. Men seem to shut down when that happens far quicker than women.

Thank you for coming back to the story. I hadn't realized it was over 2 years since chapter one for the contest posted. A two year turn around for almost a 250k project isn't tooooooooooooo slow, I don't think? lol. At least it isn't TBY slow at over five years. 😮 There are a lot of parental dynamics in this story. Like I said 2 years ago, people like Trace seem to be fewer and farther between. People are too wrapped up in their personal lives, or phones rather. To even look around, let alone stop and understand the situation then take the time necessary to help.

Aww. Yeah, I did some looking back writing this with some of the people I grew up with. It wasn't good memories, so I couldn't imagine how it was for them. Seeing pain isn't the same as feeling it.

I think I've mentioned over the years the reason why I write the stories that I do is because of my experiences knowing two friends that are gay and their lived experiences. I don't want to count the number of years I've been out of high school, but I do think things have changed for the better - for the most part. I try to allow my writing to reflect true life, there are some people that have acceptance, there are some that never will and I don't think 'that' will ever change. Both of my friends are married to men that had the exact opposite experience, if I had come into this writing thing living alongside them and listening to their thoughts, stories, and outcomes my writing may be different. They grew up just a few counties and hours away from me, in the same state. There are laws protecting minors here, but I don't think a lot of them know they have rights. That is something I would like to see resources going into, to change that thought process. My two friends wouldn't have sought out such help though. There was too much trauma there. They didn't feel comfortable talking about their sexuality with one another for months.

A pre-season all-state finalist doesn't come around often for most coaches, so the sudden unexplained absence of one may cause quite the ripple.

Thank you for coming back to it. Also, for better or worse, there's around 200k words left to post in the coming months.

Trace didn’t talk, but he killed the radio as soon as we got a little further down the road. It took him climbing out of the valley, checking his phone as he held it to finally find a signal. The first thing he did was call a tow service for my truck which made my cheeks flush, because I had no way of paying him back. I didn’t want to owe anybody, but here I was sitting in the passenger seat of an obviously expensive new truck. I clutched the door handle, even though the door wouldn’t come open

I see his double vision hasn't interfered with his cheekiness. I may correct his double vision unintentionally when I get hold of him. He knows that I am a lady and would never discuss such scandalous topics. Shameful fibber that he is. Also, welcome back @Topher Lydon and @LittleBuddhaTW.

I do a little cringe whenever I see someone reading through this story. I was barely in high school when I wrote it myself. But, it was my first ever writing project for fun. A lot of the stories that were my inspiration weren't the best springboard for me either. I don't remember a lot about this story, other than it is roughly written, has problematic characterizations, and all that good stuff that comes with doing something for the first time - ever. The fact that you took on a 2* story and have made it this far is evidence of your patience, I'm thinking. Honestly, the only thing that keeps me from deleting it entirely, as well as another early work, is because this is how readers were introduced to me when I got started all those decades ago and a start - rough as they can be - are still truly valuable even if one thinks the product no longer is. I am just 'brave' enough to keep it here for those interested in reading someone's first works.

Welcome, welcome, welcome. Congratulations!

What on earth is Pass the Pigs? Also, I somewhat did Prompt 285 in an older fiction work. It was a fun write then, I may revisit it for prompt's sake.

I critique all of this knowing that I am probably more than half-ass guilty of everything that I have said, possibly more. Other than this response here though, I will never admit to it. If any of you find reasonable evidence to show me how hypocritical I am in my snobbery, I ask that you keep it to yourselves. I do not like the taste of my own medicine. Ask Wildthing.

It is a definite case of, "I don't like any of these people..." with me. If done truly and with intention, that's okay. The overall plot has to follow it though. These people were just... self-centered and stupidly clumsy when it came to socializing. Something you may expect from 18 - 20 year old humans I guess, especially if left to their own devices for the first time and navigating the world on their own. The character writing didn't cohesively fit with with all the plots the series tried to manage though. I mean they had: Slutty/Self-centered sorority girl. Self-centered society rich sorority girls. Weird roommate Attractive Nerd (female) Douchebag Frat guy Bitchy 'misunderstood' Sister/female character Awkward horny virgin (in this case there were numerous examples) Mysterious guy with an accent that's hot because he's a mysterious guy with an accent. Secret Society in College that has post-graduation implications. Weird interactions with a child-aged bully that's a lot younger than every character in the film/series. - it was just overused comedy fodder that you see in about every film or series based in college. Winning formulas don't always win and this wasn't a win for me. And they 'had' to throw in the stereotype that gay couples and gay people in general are dysfunctional at best, wrecks of people that can't think beyond their sex lives. They can't be monogamous, but their open relationship causes so much discourse that they can't function well with one another either. I've literally seen it depicted in over half of the films and/or series I've watched since like 2020. Where I don't see it, I expect to see it eventually, unless it is a simple romance with nothing else going for it. Again, if done well with fresh elements, fine. But this was just randomly thrown in for the sake of a quick laugh for like five minutes of screen time.

"Overcompensating," is a new series from Amazon Prime, featuring the writer/comedian/actor Benito Skinner. I hadn't heard of him, but I don't know many comedian/producers really. This is supposed to be a raunchy coming out series. Sort of American Pie/Roadhouse sort of television show. It isn't that deep, but there are moments of that sprinkled into the series, but it is so underdelivered that it misses the mark in a lot of ways with both leads, not just Benito. I don't really like shallow/raunchy comedies, so I went into this knowing I wasn't the target audience. I think it missed the mark on that front too though, I do have a sense of humor, I just didn't find it funny, erratic is what I would call it. It leaned really heavily on shallow uncreative jokes/punchlines and stereotypes far too overused in the attempt to be a "more modern" coming out story. It left me thinking that I didn't like any of these people. Still, I thought it better than "Bros," though, not saying much in my opinion, but it is something. I didn't like that we were supposed to believe that all of these early to late-thirty year old people were in college, especially Freshmen. Everyone looked miscast by decades. It might have been a stylistic choice, because Roadhouse and American Pie were similar in that all the actors were a lot older than the characters they played - so it may have been intentional. If not, then yeah, completely miscast. I also don't think Benito himself did well in this, a lot of his acting was one-note and a bit wooden. If he was the reason why they aged up the majority of the cast around him, then it was a definite misstep. The two leads didn't carry this series and they should have, as their own stories were so overburdened by everything else that was going on. It was difficult to care about what happens with any of them in the first half of the series. I thought it started coming together more in the last two episodes a lot more cohesively, like it finally had a direction worth going. It ends on a cliffhanger, I'm sure the series was budgeted well enough for a second season, and I think it was semi-well received. We'll see if Amazon will carry it along or not. The platform didn't with Prisma, which I felt was a far better series and still worth the time to watch, even if Season 2 is still unavailable in American markets. If you can find season two I still think it is worth the watch.