Will Hawkins

Okay, coming to this series as late as I have places me in an interesting position. My first point is the cast of characters, a hyper conceited medical student (on hiatus I hope), a slightly pissed off Finn and a trannie, wow what an opportunity for conflict, I love it. I have been reading stories on GA for several months now and I believe this is the first time I have encountered a trannie as a principal character!!!!! I am looking forward to subsequent chapters

At my age (85) and retired from many years teaching, currently living in Bahia (Brazil), with my younger (56yo) partner, I have many hours of "downtime" and have discovered the Gay Writers website. I have selected long stories and enjoy following on with the lives of the characters. Thank you for your efforts in telling Robbie's story. I have enjoyed it very much and am looking forward to subsequent chapters. Misterwill

My mother, who died during my 18th year, (she had suffered from a weak heart all my life), had studied German when she was in college and delighted on quoting from the children's books they had used as readers in her classes. One expression she was fond of using (after I came out to the family) was, "Zu an andere zeite des Flusses spatziert." which translates as "to walk on the other side of the river" in other words to be gay. Of course, she was willing to accept my orientation even though my father was not. (He had enrolled me in a military academy for my high school education, in an attempt "to make a man out of me!" I see a great deal of parallelism between my life and Robbie's and can well understand many of his problems.

After I spent some time in Brazil then went back to the USA, I commented to the manager of my local market that in Brazil milk was available (irradiated) in cartons which did not require refrigeration to prevent souring. It seemed to me to be a solution to a problem for grocery stores, why did he not have it available in that fashion? He told me that they had tried it in some areas of the US and nobody would buy it, so they had to discard the idea. I can imagine the furor that milk in plastic sacks would cause!!!!! Misterwill

Okay, Just remember my suggestions about writing are just that, suggestions. What you as the author do with them is entirely up to you. So far I have avoided the swamp of the 'to be' verb.That is a quagmire that can drown an author and get him so tangled up in 'proper' forms as to make it nearly impossible for him to write, and have as well avoided comments on punctuation. My efforts at punctuation have a tendency to drive Grammarly up the wall so I decline to enter into any discussion that involves commas. Keep up the good work as far as creativity and characterization (characterisation in British?) are concerned and I will continue to read and enjoy ( with only an occasional remark)

It might bide you some more time.” This is a use of 'bide' with which I am unfamiliar--to me, the verb bide means to remain, do you mean 'buy' as it is used here? Misterwill

Just as I have said, again and again, I totally love your writing style and look forward at the end of each chapter for the next. Misterwill

"Daniel through my pillow back at me," through means by way of, did you mean 'threw' the past tense of throw? By the way, you asked in a response to one of my corrections, why did I not find more than one error in each chapter? For several reasons, first I don't want you to get mad at me for picking on you. I am not trying to embarrass you or denigrate you. I love your writing and am enjoying the series very much--my comments are meant to help you improve your writing, not put you down. Misterwill

"Okay, I'll bare that in mind Bare means exposed or open, I think you mean 'bear' which means to carry, as in this case to 'remember that', to keep that in mind. Later you use the word 'bare' correctly by writing 'It's a bare faced lie.' Misterwill

"but you were laying on it." Laying is what chickens do, people lie, in more ways than one. In this case, the proper usage would be "but you were lying on it." Question: it has been a long time since I was 15 (seventy years to be exact) so I don't remember my attitudes too well, but why would a teenager be reluctant to appear only partially clothed in front of another boy even if he knew the other boy was gay?

Alex, Nathan, and Fran as well as his lab partner--oh, my God, this boy is heading down a slippery slope. I am sorry to see the hard drugs though--a little beer now and again is OK. After all, for hundreds of years, German boys were raised on it, but I am sorry to see the hard drugs getting involved. Robbie is going to have enough troubles with Fran and Nathan without further complicating his relationships with Alex. And Phillippe too. Well, I guess that is one good thing about being -bi. There is always opportunity next door!!!!! Misterwill

surrounded by his usual posy, a posy is usually either one or a small bunch of flowers. Do you mean 'posse', a number of men called together by a sheriff to hunt for a criminal?

very quickly dropped he knickers It's funny how a tiny mistake like this can interrupt the flow of a story. Of course, you meant 'her' knickers, but the omission of one letter made the line a little humorous. By the way Canuk, please note that I have never found fault with the 'Britishisms' like 'colour' or 'honour' that appear in your story. They sometimes look strange to an American eye like mine, but they are perfectly acceptable in your work! I even like the occasional 'eh' that gets thrown in at the end of a statement--that is so Canadian, you folk from the ice-bound North even talk that way! Misterwill

I will not make a negative comment on the storyline as it is because of the good writing and creativity of the story that I continue to read. As far as the editing is concerned: I have only mentioned one error in each comment because I don't want to get the type of response I did from one author who accused me of being 'snarky'. I have consistently said that I am not trying to pick on anybody, just calling their attention to things that are easy to detect. Please note that I do not comment on punctuation, that is a witches brew. Every time I spot what I think is an error there, someone comes along and says that I am wrong. My pet peeve is homophones, so those are the errors I will most frequently comment upon. Misterwill

Once again my message is for the EDITOR, not the AUTHOR. The word cloth pertains to woven material. The proper word for wearing apparel is clothes. Misterwill, the happy troll!

Your is the possessive form of the pronoun you. In this case, Mr. Editor the author was looking for the contraction for 'you are', that is you're. If you are going to do a good job of editing. You have to read the paragraph closely!

At this time (I was 27 years old), I was living in Montgomery, Alabama and recall very well seeing such symptoms of the separation of the races as water fountains on the streets marked 'white' and 'colored', as well as public restrooms like in the stadiums and parks which always came in sets of three marked 'men', 'women' and 'colored'. Will Hawkins

1. bed pants: better words pajama pants or pajama bottoms. 2. kneeled is a good English word, but knelt might be better in this case. Will Hawkins

I have been reading with fascination your story of the relations between Germany and Russia in the late 1930's. Before I discuss the story, a little background about myself. Don't we always want to introduce ourselves first? By the standards of the day, I am a very old man. I was born in Colombus, Ohio (USA) in 1932. So that makes me old enough to have lived (on the other side of the water) through the period of world history you are discussing in this series of stories. The relationship between Nazi Germany and Russia during the time they were allies was not discussed in detail in the American school system. Probably because we did not know much about it and the possibility of Russian students having to learn the German language (including swear words) has never entered my head until now. It was not until the disunion of Germany and Russia when Russia became an ally of the US that part of the war even began to make its way into the newspapers in the US. The only real interest I personally had in Russo-German relations at that time was because my mother had studied German in her High School training (and used to sing German lullabies to me as a baby) I elected to study German in High School and had some practical application of the language during my Army career when my overseas service assignment was in Stuttgart, however my experience with German swear words had to be acquired less formally. But enough of my checkered background and into a discussion of this series of stories, Russia - My Home, I am fascinated by the language you are using. As a native speaker of English, the somewhat formal language you use obviously stems from it being a second language (or more) for you and that formality adds a great deal to the interest (and personality) in the reading for me. Keep up the great work and the occasional picture of a location in the area of the story adds a lot to the understanding of a time and place with which so few of your readers are familiar. GREAT WORK, Will Hawkins

Troll alert! Sorry, I am famous as the old troll that sits under his bridge and nips at the bare toes of the Editors of a story as they pass over. Note, I do not attack the Authors as they are involved in what they do best, 'being creative'. It is up to the Editors to correct their presentation. In this case, the alert is to remove a homophone (no that is not a device for a queer to make a telephone call. Look up the meaning of the word in the dictionary, if you are unfamiliar with it.) or add required punctuation. . It was as scary as fuck Gary.” In this case, it merely means 'add a comma' to have the sentence make sense: "It was as scary as fuck, Gary."

I was using the NORAD site to track Santa on this Christmas Eve when the little icon flashed on the screen to tell me I had received a Christmas present! I immediately checked your website, Mark to discover that you have been having lots of troubles over the past few months. I have been sending good thoughts your way. I a sure that I join thousands of readers in wishing a speedy recovery (especially to your libido LOL). Selfishly I hope that his latest posting narks enough of a recovery that your postings will once again resume a regularity. But your personal needs come first--do take good care of yourself and regain your strength (and spirit as well). Misterwill

A king is addressed as your majesty, your highness is used for a royal person who is not a king, like a Prince. Misterwill

made his wait out made his way out