Will Hawkins

Troll alert; homophone: “He pretty much tows the line.” One 'toes' the line, like a racer preparing to run. Misterwill

Valkyrie is a person after my own heart. I thought it was just because I was getting old, but reading the same sex scene in story after story, or even worse, several times in the same story, mixed in with grammatical errors frosts me. I know that on GA a certain amount of M2M sex is expected, but not every time two men get into a room together need we go into repetitive detail. I find the skip key very useful in that case. Though I have been doing some research online about acceptable grammar in contemporary writing and have decided that most of my objections are old-fashioned. In days past, I have jumped on authors for using a structure that I was taught many years ago (it is nearly 80 years since I last attended an English grammar class) and the lectures I sat through at that time were so conservative and hide-bound that what they insisted on is no longer appropriate. I will still comment on homophones though, as to use one is just a sign of laziness on the part of an author (or of ignorance on the part of an editor).

As a reader, oriented toward relaxation and enjoyment, not a professional author, nor an editor, a consumer of the stories that are posted to GA, and as an elderly man perhaps of an age where sex in stories merely for the sake of sex does nor pique my interest as much as it might were I a hot-blooded teen ager. I enjoy reading about sex. but only if it advances the story or the characteriazations. It, in my opinion, should be like spices in cooking -- something that adds savor to the dish, not overwhelms the flavor of the meat. I contrast the Bridgemont stories with the Hornblower series -- in the one there must be a sex scene before any progress is made in the story -- in the latter there is no sex male or female at all. If I find too much sex in a story, I am well within my rights as an enjoyer, a reader, to skip a portion of the text, just saying in my mind, 'Well, they had sex again.' and moving my eye down the page to get back to the story line. But I find that a series, like the Hornblower stories, with no sex whatever, especially in rereading them as an adult, to be marginally boring. Misterwill

I am most pleased and excited at seeing Granger back on his quarterdeck. My only concern is that the long hiatus in the Bridgemont series was not brought about by some condition of poor health on the part of the author. But at any rate, welcome aboard, sir. Misterwill

Okay, here goes the troll under the bridge: 'doing good' means performing an act of charity, though it is used in informal English as well. The correct expression should be 'doing well'. some authors object to that as it sounds formalistic or stuffy. It is an expression which is pretty much a matter of choice by the author or editor. But there is no such word as 'anyways' the correct word is 'anyway', and when speaking of two people, please use the case of the pronoun properly; as a subject, It should be 'John and I are going to town', if used as a subject 'it was a gift for John and me'.To decide which is correct, just leave the other named person out of the statement and listen to the phrase.

I had started to become confused by all the different boys and the many new horses, but it looks like as you progress with the story that confusion will work itself out. For the sake of your readers keep the number of characters/pairings down as well as the principal horses. Remember that we are meeting these people/animals for the first time and until we get to know them better can be easily overwhelmed. Misterwill

I notice that one of your comments used the word 'goobers' in describing youngsters. There is quite a story behind that name. During the Civil War in the US, the Yankee navy blockaded all of the shipping from the Confederate states in an effort to starve them into submission. They were in the main successful and much of the trade that the South relied upon to support their 'cotton' economy was cut off. Over a period of several years, the blockade began to affect severely on the availability of food especially meat and fresh vegetables in the south. A peanut farmer named Goober discovered that the peanuts he had been growing, for which there now, because of the blockade, no export market, were an excellent source of protein and if boiled, could be substituted for fresh vegetables so "farmer Goober's peas" became a staple part of the diet for the Confederate army and quickly entered into the tradition of the southern army. Since that time the name "Goober peas" has become an informal synonym for boiled peanuts.

Each of the chapters you publish starts with a photograph of a man or two men with a little child. Is any of the men in those pictures, you? I realize you show them because they are beautiful examples of males loving small children, But seeing them makes me wonder about your life.

Some of your readers may think that the relationship between Zak and Grandma is a little off. beat or far-fetched, but my experience with the elders of Native American tribes I knew in Texas and Arizona showed me there is often a connection between the shamans of these peoples and a sprit world with which we are unaware. So the conversation between Zak and Grandma is totally realistic. Good writing and the great story. Misterwill.

Something about which you might not be aware--the term 'midwife' comes from the German '"mitwif' which translates as 'with the wife' and is equally applicable to a man or to a woman as a person who is with the wife during the birthing process. Many women, even in modern American hospitals, request a man as their midwife because his strength and tenderness are important to them at the time of birthing.

This summer could turn out to be a real learning experience for Zac (in several ways), but I feel that Dusty will be learning too. Hey, maybe as small as Zac is and with his affinity for the horses maybe a trainer or a jocky's life is in his future! Totally good work with the story so far, thanks for writing. Mistrrwill

As a long-time resident of the southwest, Texas and Arizona mostly, I am familiar with the BLM auctions. Unfortunately, most of the mustangs purchased at these auctions go to the dog food canners. I am pleased to read a story with a different twist and I can see great opportunities for characterization and growth especially in the relationship between the two boys. Excellent start for an interesting tale. Misterwill

You frequently confuse the word 'loose' with +lose'. Loose is used for untied as the dog is running loose in he yard, lose is a form of "lost". If the game is played tomorrow we will llose. By the way, I love your Hey Daddy pictures--they show the love that is possible between gay parents and their adopted children

"He came in on queue", queue can be used to describe plaited hair or (Brit.) a lineup as for waiting to enter a theater. When the homophone describes a signal to begin a performance 'cue' is the usual word. Misterwill

"Out of my site"; site is a word used for a location: 'the site of the factory'. In this case, you probably mean 'sight', meaning vision. "When you are out of my sight--", I cannot see you. I direct your attention to this only because I have seen the same homophone in your writing previously. Misterwill

As I was reading this chapter, I googled the name of the several songs you mentioned and listened to at least a part of them on youtube. In my reading of other stories, there has been only one other series that I have done that listening with and that was 'Bridgemeont' when Mark Arbour mentioned a piece of music played by the Marine Band. It interrupts the flow of the story slightly, but I have discovered that it also adds a great deal to the atmosphere. In this case, the Animals and Momma Cass were perfect accompaniments to the emotion of the story. You can tell, I am just barely into your story, but am already hooked and looking forward to each new chapter. Misterwill

A quick question--having nothing to do with the story--what is the little yellow thingy that you use as an identifier with your signature? Because I am living in Brazil, it looks to me to be the shape of one of the gas tanks we use for the stove, but they are not yellow. My glyph is easy to figure. It is a view out of the East facing window where I used to live at the beach (our new house is further inland, so I do not see the sunrise and ocean the way I used to).

As today is Saturday, I will anticipate another chapter in "Northern Exposure". I have reread all the 'Bridgemont' series up to the beginning of Northern Exposure to refresh my memory on the adventures and characterizations, but now I am forced to await each new update just like your other admirers. Ugh, ugh.

In response to your comments on my "rant" of last September. You are totally right to choose the language of your characters to suit their personality--that is an author's privilege! I frequently get wound up in English grammar and forget that point. I will admit that the story has attracted my interest enough to begin reading it all over again. Please excuse my nit-picky comments. The only ground on which for me to stand with any security will be homophones (that is how queers call home!!!), but I have not noted any so far. Misterwill

This message is to be redirected to the editor of this series. 'falderal', do you mean folderol? I don't see falderal in any of my dictionaries. Misterwill

I am well known as the troll that sits under a bridge and nips at the bare toes of authors (or especially editors) as they cross over. It is a pleasure to read chapter after chapter in this story without finding anything to object to. You have made my day. Misterwill

schinanigans, whoops, sorry the word is shenanigans

Well, we are still circling one another but the lifted lips have returned to cover the teeth. Has the white wolf rolled over to expose his tender belly?No, not yet, but he is thinking about it. Misterwill

My analogy of two wolves circling one another gets better and better. Suddenly the grey wolf growls and snaps back at the white wolf and wisely the Omega sneaks off before he gets caught in the war between the two Alphas to end up torn from limb from limb. But even as the white wolf walks away from the confrontation he does it with his tail held high. Oh, by the way, I missed calling your attention to a homophone in an earlier chapter: a bow is not the same thing as a bough. I don't remember in just which chapter I saw that, but perhaps you can figure it out knowing your work better than do I. Misterwill

I still see a picture of two wolves circling one another except the white wolf has raised his lips in a snarl that surprised the grey wolf. Following a long. and enthralled with the interaction. Misterwill