Wayne Gray
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Blank Verse: From Space
Wayne Gray commented on Mikiesboy's story chapter in Blank Verse: From Space
I like how description shifts to a sort of narration in the second one. "Here's what I see - now, here's what I THINK." That's what I see in this work. Maybe that's not what the prompt was about, but it's okay. Be happy with a beautiful accident. Edit: And now I reread... and see "how I felt" included in the description. Nevermind. Carry on, tim the poet. 🙂 -
This is surreal. To hear my little song done by my buddy in his own, folky/country style is so strange. To know that his regular fans hearing it love it is even stranger... Happy Friday... wow.
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I was prompted to join GA by @Fae Briona. I had been writing a story with Dom/sub dynamics, and I wanted to get things right, so he pointed me at @Mikiesboy's blog, and @MacGreg's lessons. Both were awesome resources, and the members themselves continue to be. What keeps me engaged are the other active members and the feedback on my work. GA has a great recipe in terms of layout and feedback systems. If an author is active on other works in addition to their own, then they begin to build relationships with other authors - which can only draw more eyes to the works posted by those active authors. It has been a great community, and I've learned a lot.
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Thanks for giving it another go, Fae. I know it hurts... even now. So, thank you. It's "the" chapter, I think. It sets in motion all that comes in the rest of the story. Everything in each of these lives, it all hinges on this chapter. I'm glad you liked that tiny bit with Kent thinking of Stanley to give himself courage. Each of them needs the other, and there's beauty in that.
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Thanks, Jeffrey. Yeah... that song. I heard it after I had written this chapter, but it was almost as if it was made for that scene. The first time I listened to the song, it conjured the scene in my mind, and as I wiped my face I nodded to myself. "Yep. That's the song. That's Tad's song." It really drives the scene home, I think. That's a good guess. We know Tad's a great artist. So that may be close... something deeply personal, unique, and from his heart. There's more for Markus coming. Absolutely.
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There are a lot of things going on in the chapter. In addition to Tad's drive, there are so many little steps people took to make the book happen. Stanley and Nate did much to get the book done, of course, but Kent... Kent made sure people would show up. Kent faced down his fears for Tad - outed himself at school and did public speaking. While Christopher held down the fort, cared for Tad when he needed help, and was a quiet, steady presence for his struggling lover. Thanks to all of this, Tad's legacy was made possible, and a desperate man in Texas chose to hang on.
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Hi Parker. Thanks for commenting and for reading. I think the telling of the scene with Tad was the best that I could do. It was so emotional for me writing it... I know it is more and more sparse as I wrote. That was partially intended. I wanted the reader to sort of feel the way Tad disconnected with the world. Less and less detail. Fewer words. Until the end where the only thing left is emotion and feeling. And... there's only so much time I could spend in that place of loss too.
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Knowing it's going to end a certain way doesn't make it easier, really. But, you're right - Tad saved a life with his work. The tumor instilled a sense of urgency in Tad, and made him produce his book sooner than he ever would have - he might have never made it at all without the pressure to leave something behind of himself. So, in a way... the tumor saved Markus's life even while it took Tad's. Thank you for reading and commenting, Danilo. 🙂
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This is an emotional story, there's no doubt. Thanks for coming along on the journey with me. There's more on Sunday. 🙂
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You're welcome, Canuk. Thanks for reading.
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Thank you for reading and commenting, Chris. Tad was very much loved, and he loved in turn. A life well lived, there. We'll have to see what becomes of Markus. But at least he put down the gun.
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You're welcome. I feel the same way... knowing that kind of love would make a life worth living. Thank you for reading and commenting. There's more to come on Sunday. Thanks for sticking with it. 🙂
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I can see her doing that so clearly, not quite understanding why her daddy isn't responding. "This always worked before!" Then, yeah... just being there with Christopher and Nate and the various visitors who came to say goodbye. Thanks for reading and commenting, Tom. I hope the additional scenes with Markus helped make this last scene a bit more impactful.
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Exactly. Yes. If my last thoughts and emotions center around those I love, and all that I feel for them. then I will consider it a life well spent. Thanks for reading and for taking the time to comment, Petey.
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Awww. I’m sorry. I wrote this story to honor the memory of a man who contacted me after reading another of my stories. He revealed that he had only weeks to live, in the last stages of prostate cancer. Cancer is terrible... and I’m sorry for your loss. But the goal of this work is to show a man who managed to move beyond his own death. I wanted to show the power of a legacy. Stick with me. Let me know if I did it or not. Thanks for reading and commenting.
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you don't have to be the one who always has it together. you're allowed to be weak, and worn and tired. Don't let guilt at being imperfect make your trial worse - we're all imperfect. Expect only that you'll wake tomorrow, and that you'll be the best you that you can manage. Be kind to yourself, molly. you deserve that.
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The words you used were plenty. Perfect choice. Thanks for reading and commenting, Bryan.
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Thanks, Thorn. 🙂 I know it's a tough piece of work to edit, and even to read. So I greatly appreciate your help. Thank you, again.
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Thanks for reading and commenting, Mac. Yeah, this was a roller-coaster of a chapter, I know. It's tough to say goodbye to someone as amazing as Tad. But... look at what he has wrought.
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Nate woke early in the morning on Monday to Christopher shaking him. There was no Tad to be found in bed. They got up, and they discovered him at his desk, working feverishly on his tablet. "Tad?" Chris stood next to him, and Tad turned the tablet over so that they couldn't see the subject matter on the screen. "What are you doing up? It's just after two." Tad nodded. "I know. This thing, it's letting me stay awake, and I need to now. Every second that I can, I have to be awake and worki
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Thanks. I'll live. It's nice to be needed, right? *eyetwitch*
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The last couple of days are a reminder of why I usually go camping when I take days off during the week - somewhere I get no reception. So far I've spent about four hours on the phone/emailing people who apparently can't think for themselves need my expertise more than they care about my mental health ... are the real reason I have job security. That's as nice as I can do it.
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Mmm hmmm. 😊. Tad’s a lucky guy. He went from 0 to 2 men in a couple of weeks. Not bad! Thanks for reading and commenting, tim!
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@BryanC, recommending other reading is fine with me. No problem. Thanks for the recommendation. 🙂 I don't think I can explain how hard is is to leave the only thing you've ever known... even if it's TERRIBLE. You may know, intellectually that there are friendlier, better places to be, but it's still so hard to internalize that you can escape. The next chapter is due on Wednesday... and I will say this much: Markus's fate is revealed there. Stick with me till then. 🙂
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The guys are truly stepping up for Tad. Christopher would if he could, but he simply doesn't have the skills required for the work. So he stays back and watches over Tad. I've said this a lot... Markus is in trouble. It could have been so simple to help him. Any one person along his path could have made an effort to at least understand. He has some of that in Heather, and she's trying. But is it too late? That's the question here. As it concerns Markus, that's the only question, really. Thanks for reading and commenting. More to come on Wednesday!
