Wayne Gray

Yeah, I'm aware. Honestly, the THC is far better than alcohol for me. The ones I take are an even split between CBD and THC. They make my joints hurt less, probably from the CBD, which is non-psychoactive. It helps me sleep when I'm tossing and turning, too. Again, the CBD will do that without THC. I'm almost out of the ones I've got, and I plan to buy only CBD this time around. All of the effects I actually want without getting high. Once I found out how the body processes alcohol (it prioritizes it over anything else until it's metabolized) I realized that yes, it's bad for people trying to lose weight. I don't crave either booze or THC. But I watched my brother wreck his life through drugs and alcohol. So ... the genes for addiction are there. I have an appointment later this month to talk about my rising blood pressure and the need to lose some weight. Alcohol will be on the table as something I surrender if it will help me avoid a lifetime of medication I don't need if I am disciplined. I'll also get my testosterone checked, just in case it dipped again. When that happens, I am a lot less resilient. I feel "off" and wrong. It's a cascading effect that touches everything. I am not feeling the same level of wrongness I did before, the first time I dropped way below normal for a guy my age, but some of it is there. That 100% has an impact on weight loss and muscle development, too. And guess what else affects Testosterone? Booze! So, yeah. I know what needs doing. Honestly, if I could make my goals happen without alcohol, but also without meal prep, I'd do it. I hate meal prep that much.

I am boozy. I know I sound like I have a problem, and maybe I do. But. Fuck it. I am free. Tonight, I am not worried. Or ashamed. Or scared. Tonight, I am free. And freedom seems to be the thing feared by those who want control. So I will keep freeing my mind by caring less about what I'm "supposed" to worry over. I will keep unleashing that which is supposed to be good, and subjected, and tamed. We will be what we must, to survive, and thrive, and exist. In spite of what we should aspire to be. I will continue. To be me.

I have seen him. He's hilarious!

I'm glad Noom worked for Danny. I tried it. No dice for me. I lost not a single pound over two months of trying. But I think I understand why. While my caloric intake absolutely went down using it, one issue I had is I feel it when I'm in a deficit. Like, feel bad. Shaky, weak, etc. Which means I move around less. I skip workouts when in deficit. So my body is burning less when I eat less. I really do feel awful when in a caloric deficit. And you gotta be to lose. I'm gonna have to get used to that, though, because I've got about 35 lbs that need to go.

I did in the past. I know I'm in the high 20s. Probably around 26%. You can calculate based on measurements. However, the BF% has declined in the last 12 weeks. It was almost 30% based on measurements, but now it's down around 4%. And I've lost 3" off my belly. Which is the real reason why I'm getting asked if I've lost weight. I do need to lose weight. My blood pressure is creeping up, and I'm fifty. Body mass is a big reason blood pressure goes up, and it's a pretty simple correlation. I either lose weight, or I go on medication. To me that's a no-brainer. I won't take meds because I'm too lazy to do what's right. If I can't correct it with exercise and diet, then yes, I'll take meds. But first, I have to try.

you're lucky. I rarely eat any kind of sugary things anymore. And I'm still 220 lbs at 5'10". Though, to be fair, I've been asked lately if I've lost weight (I've not, but it has moved around a bit).

So ... you are not a deprived boy. you are a greedy boy. 😛

Sadness. Wait. you have men who love you. Time for puppy-dog eyes and a trip for Dan, tim.

Not a single mention of your love of puns? Oh. That will be a great surprise for anyone who doesn't know.

Huh. I can't recall ever seeing this topic. But it's a good one. I hate perfect characters. I hate characters who are barely legal who have their whole lives together, planned, have all the answers, are rich, hung, never work out but are physically beautiful, never worry about disease while barebacking the world, could have anyone, take pity on the ugly duckling and change them into something totally different so they can be loved. Huh. Apparently, I have opinions on this. LOL One of the most engaging stories I have read on this site is Dissonance by @MacGreg. And it hooked me because his main characters were so, so flawed. Relatable. Knowable. I can understand how they could exist in the world. I could feel and believe their struggles. I just can't get into a tale where the MC is perfect. I want to see a struggle apart from the one the author decided is the main storyline. I want a MC who is late, who struggles with anxiety, who screws things up, who tries to fix the messes they've caused. I want someone real. I want someone flawed. Like me.

Horror is fun anytime, but I agree with drsawzall. Chills and thrills for Fall/Halloween are on the menu!

So much mystery. So much potential!

I should have mentioned that in your profile. 🕵️‍♂️

😐Do you save everything?!

I told tim I thought it'd be even more fun to write dating profiles for each other based on what they've posted in the DiC and other places on GA. Well ... I picked Michael. Because why wouldn't I? "My name is Michael. I am husband to tim, and partners in not-crime with Dan. I am a Dom, though that's not all that I am. I enjoy making people suffer, but only the ones who want to suffer. I like to give the people what they want because I'm a nice guy like that. I have worked in various capacities in law enforcement for years now, and I find that work deeply meaningful. Oh. I'm also tall. Very tall. No, taller than that. Yes, it is proportional. No, I won't send a pic, you dirty bastard. Okay, I think that's enough." I am reassured by the fact that there are about 2,800 miles between me and Toronto.

I like how even when kbois and I tried to sound "normal," the unhinged is still there. Lurking. Waiting to bite.

I kinda want to see an introduction for everybody now ... Where we say all the things that are great about us, but none of the crazy. You know. Like a dating profile. "Hi, my name is Wayne. I turned fifty last year. I enjoy the outdoors, writing, reading, cooking, and am a bit of a science geek. I also like to go to the gym and work on my physical health so I can continue doing all the things I love. I prefer a calm night cooking a great dinner with a nice guy to going out, though I'm not above a night at the bar with friends. If any of this sounds nice, don't hesitate to reach out. I don't bite. Well. Unless you like that kind of thing."

Thank you, Jeffrey. This one was unique for me. I've never read, much less written, anything like it. I've been working on another one. One that has been in progress for a long time. It's something I pick up and put down over the months, and I'm getting close to the end of it. Maybe 2-3 more chapters, and it'll be wrapped up, ready for editing. Then I've still got Engineer Benson too. So there's plenty to do! All that to say, this isn't the last of me. See you around here again. I apologize for not replying sooner to this one-it must have gotten away from me.

Damn! Look at us with stuff to say!

Exactly. Attention to this kind of thing is never comfortable, but it's necessary if we've any hope of improving.

Thanks for sharing, tim. 💚

"Do you do this professionally?!" As I destroy the concept of what someone has of a massage.

I love Settlers of Catan. It's a great game. Though I have just returned from a party. There I was a thing passed about between men and women who were all super tense and wound up. And I was shot like a missile between their shoulder blades. Straight. Gay. Women. Man. All were my targets. Tension was my enemy! I destroyed it. Seeking out tightness and stress like it was my mission. Also, I am drunk and maybe a bit high.

Thank you, Jeffrey! I really like this story, so I’m happy you do too. Enough to read it twice, even. 🙂

It's still missing for me. Super weird. And no. I didn't order it. But it's still sitting there. Tempting me ...