Mattyboy

I filed that as a reference to muckraking journalism and William Randolph Hearst. I buy that it sure looks like Cottontail is John.

That afternoon moment from John Renkin sure felt like a turning-point, but sounds like there might have been some very strong headwinds there. Yes, that's a bitter note, alright.

I've been just fine riding the thriller-vibe in the other story, but it's a lovely anxiety reducer to know these characters survived the summer of '92. I was hoping for one more name that didn't get checked, but I've already commented about how Empath is handling that elsewhere.

Hehe, a Thanksgiving story full of Easter Eggs ! 🦃🥚🥚🥚

Might take a while (because Micah is in very bad shape) but I think Mary's up to it. I don't think our author introduced a little girl trying to make sense of The Secret Garden just as padding. This makes me realize something I like about this story. Empath is using a lot of familiar thriller and cop-show tropes for structure, and there's a lot of (deep) foreshadowing, but hasn't reproduced that stupid cliche of adults making "it'll be fine" promises they can't keep about cases like Micah's. This is set in the 1990s, but the underlying question of "how can you be good when you're working with institutions that aren't up for the challenges they face?" feels very current.

Hehe, they're almost having "that conversation" but not quite there. The sparrows are hilarious and it seems like they can see a lot.

I love the contrasting and different characters you keep introducing! Your story includes plenty of jerks and assholes, but also people like Robert Fenton and John Renkin certainly have flaws, but who want to be good, and want to try for better for both themselves and the people around them. There's thriller-grade action in the story line, which is certainly attractive as well, but the different ways people try to be good is wonderful.

I think around here, quite a few people who are labelled or who label themselves beta readers are doing both alpha and beta jobs by your definition, and in particular making comments on structure and narrative arc (especially in longer ongoing serials). I was unaware of the term "alpha reader" before your post, but I followed your example and looked it up and, yes, some people make that distinction. I think beta reader as it's commonly used around here is more analogous with a beta test (the last testing and modifications before it goes out to the public) rather than alpha-is-first-stage and beta-is-second-stage.

Whoever it is that Riz has been calling, who doesn't think he's capable of fixing this, isn't necessarily going to go after the rescued boys. Way too public and too hot for one, even before Sam publishes anything. And I think Riz said at one point that no one else wanted his "books" anyhow. This may be a line of business that the old artefacts are happy enough to wash their hands of. In the past Roger was able to defend them in court because they had enough layers of cut-out to maintain plausible deniability. I'd guess that Riz is in a lot more danger than Micah.

I'm impressed again with how you wrote this. And incredible amount of high-drama happened in about 10 minutes at the end of chapter 12, and only we as readers saw it all. So that was excellent that Janick and the others had to spend some time on cleanup, and just finding out what happened in the other places as it was all going down. Good for Qian Chang recognizing that he needed to talk to a professional, that kinda brought home the real side effects of all that thrilling action in chapter 12. That was wryly funny from Roger admitting that he only knew 3/4 of the people that he'd brought into a hot crime scene. This will be fun when Melissa figures who Juan's mom is. I hope Janick thinks to assign a guard to the Mack household as well.

I'd be happy to comment too, but Wildone can probably cover this

Ah, Ok, glad I haven't missed anything. That story about being hot enough to melt snow at MORRTIMER camp, and having a brother named Bomb, there seem to be some puzzle pieces on the table that Emmett or even Jake could maybe put together.

Did I miss Fin coming out to Emmett as a dragon? Did Tony know from his wards? (but if he has done, then reciprocity seems to be only fair)

"simply be gracious and ignore the hurt" was invented for situations like this. If Jackie was capable of feeling bad about this, none of it would have happened. And even if it "wins" a confrontation, what's the payoff? It does not look like Ludo is going to be interacting with Jackie much in the future, and she has no power in this dissolving relationship. Yeah, it'll take some neck to pull it off, but it's the way to go for Ludo.

I think that passage is Roger's POV as he's watching Don leave with the files. I thought this too on first read, but Roger answers the phone later in the passage.

Wow. Yay for the rescues and yuck for the bloodbath, but wow. Just realized we still don't know for sure what the circumstances were that whoever Riz phoned earlier had been getting other calls about Riz. Maybe another CPD informer, but I wonder if Roger lodged a complaint with someone who owed him a favor. One positive is that Janick's likely call for backup and resources really can no longer get deflected by "why are you working on this small-potatoes case?"

Maybe IA has gotten something from Gallo, but Ramos and Jaskin haven't quite caught up with understanding Riz. So I'm guessing this is linked to "Rizzo.. your name has come up several times in the last few hours" and "I'm cleaning up what I can" Riz may well be swimming into the astonishingly productive net, to the (mild) surprise of whoever's tailing him.

“That’s a weird name” No, Cottontail, no it's not, You're weird for thinking it's weird. I'm still in Camp it's-not-John, but that was weird.

yes, Joe is a character who won't be missed. This story feels like it has everything, but yeah, probably could use +1 (or more) therapist. Hank Monroe might be hard to convince, but he's gonna need one too. And the evidence-team.

Yes, the structure is impressive, and we're still meeting new characters. On-stage stuff foreshadows events for off-stage characters. The interrogation room scene rightly got a lot of attention, but just noticed that Roger mused that "He didn’t know how to find his new target clientele." Well, Samantha James sure would know how.

There might be some bickering about using it against Charlie in court, but Charlie explaining the business probably didn't do all that much that couldn't have been figured out from the records in the studio. I'm not sure they'd need it. They can use it against Sal, for sure. It will be enormously useful for Hank Monroe explaining why he killed a cop in a police station and for Ramos and Janick to defend themselves to their bosses who are going to be asking what the hell is going on. And it might be very useful in another way; Charlie Miler started that meeting thinking that loyalty would pay off in the long term, and that Riz was going to spring him/help him, and he can't think that any more. Neither can Sal. And now Schultz and Janick have Sal and Charlie to play off against each other. Neither deserves a plea deal, of course, but that situation just shifted and shifted big. And the story that Samantha James is already covering suddenly went from story-of-the-week to story-of-the-year.

oh wow, I remember driveway and garage "parties" and people sitting in marked circles and grids and all that stuff. That was a very specific period of a few months that you've captured perfectly here. Poor Cole, he didn't get any Cal-minutes on the phone.

Especially if they flat-out have to choose between Riz and Roger, and burn a useful bridge. Riz seemed to have finally caught up to the fact that after Thomas' trial Roger legally can't represent Charlie (or at least has a very clear conflict-of-interest). Beyond that legal angle, the old "artifacts" might well also respect that Roger demanded respect and said no to this case.

well, it's a good thing, then, that Roger is heading over to Brendon's right now. My guess is Riz is still unaware of how far ahead of him Roger is and Riz' stooge-duo will be late arriving at Charlie Miller's cell, maybe even while Agent Janick is physically removing him.

Oh, yeah... don't bother with the science-y stuff like who's been in the "studio"