SilentandBroken

I like long novellas so yeah I’ll bite.

I don’t mean to sound harsh. So please don’t take it that way

I swear you’re the only author who can write to articulate anxiety perfectly like this.

Omg that was soooo cute and funny. “Talking. Saying words. Words that relate to the words said to you. Shouldn't be this hard” “Breathe, Kevin. Breathe. In. Out. In. Out. No wait...now that's making me think of something else!!! Shit, now I'm getting a boner! THAT'S not good! Go down, damn you!!! Go DOWN!!!” BUHAHAHA so damn cute. I fucking love it

I feel the need to be honest on the story. It’s over all good and flow is fine, if it were to be a much longer story. Only a little bit of teasing and hints on vampire type lore up to this point. For a completed 12 chapter story and little by way of sexual activity 10 chapters in makes me wonder if this long buildup was a waste of time for the genre. I get the author had to include the tags as subs because there is some references to those actions but…the build up feels a bit short on delivery. I didn’t expect the super detailed explanations of business setups to take 2 full chapters on and little else. I agree with Dragonfire. There’s no timeline for established for how long it’s been since Scott and Greg met before they’re talking life long commitments. There’s only hints of supernatural something or other with regards to Scott’s family recognizing Scott’s choice of mate being a life long pick. It was a bit disappointing when I looked back at what was left only to find I have 2 chapters to go and that’s it and the party has yet to start. The next 2 chapters will either be short flashes in the pan or long grand finales that will lead to another series spin offs. If so, will it be more of the same? Is that worth the investment in time reading? I hate to be a Debbie downer but that’s just my take.

I can hear Charlie already..”I might know a guy…” As to the draw of readers. Most are probably looking for an escape from reality for little while. Now whether that’s hot boy sex or fangs and blood. I personally think a little more additional love scenes and time to get on with the vampire storyline . Otherwise it’s good.

I mean Donna DID serve venison burgers and Scott said they hunt all the time…also he did more or less acted as if it was his grandfather with such familiarity of the information Greg gave him about the car. Almost as if he knew it already. It is interesting that gramps was from “Germany” not Austria next door. The family seems to move around a lot every few yrs. Would that be to avoid suspicion? Hmm

I was hoping you were going to do the first disclosure of affection scene with as much nerves as is typical for most realistic moments between people. You did and wonderfully so too. You and Comicality should team up on a series. J/s. Scott is clearly a cutie and doesn’t even realize it while Greg is the stud muffin. Both are sweeties. I cannot wait to read on.

I think though I would’ve liked the boys a tad younger. 13-14 maybe. Idk that’s just where my discoveries happened and where my abuse began. I fantasize that these stories could’ve been my POSITIVE experiences vs the very negative ones I had. One can dream I suppose. Your flow is great.

Ok. Cute and intriguing start. Even if this wasn’t a fantasy story, this would’ve sucked me in as a teen romance. All I can say is double major plans seems a bit of an over achiever for me but who knows, some ppl are just super efficient with their time. I’m excited to see where it goes

Charlie keeps giving Toby compliments that are more of a suitor vs best friend just saying

ThI re is genuine love between these two. I love the cuddling

It seems like these two are what, 13, or 14 years old? The perfect age imo. I love how Charlie senses Toby’s needs even before Toby does and acts to fulfill those needs almost on instinct. That is a golden heart. A rare find in a friend anymore. I wish people were more like that.

Mmm hot..Charlie is gay and doesn’t even know it. Although I suspect he will very soon

I’m sorry for your diagnosis. I hope you beat it.

Comsie, I know you’re swamped but I sent you something in Dm I think you’ll like.

What are feelings? Ppl get so butthurt over the stupidest stuff anymore

Um…both?

Omg just FUCK HIM ALREADY 😝 you both want it badly

Omg this better lead to some freaky deaky boy sex bc I’m over here all hot and bothered! This is such a cute build up. Love it

Makes you wanna nibble doesn’t it? 😂

Oh he’s cute…

Guys like Chuck need to be eviscerated from the waste down and left to bleed out

I’ll take that as a yes

So I guess it’s off to Taryn’s song next? Open to suggestions