Cane23

I'm humbled to be mentioned with such amazing company! Honestly, I'm not sure how big my contribution is... Sometimes, my insecurities make me overthink - is my English good enough, did I express my thought well, was my humor offensive... Nevertheless, I've got nothing but the support from GA members, I've learnt a lot and had some great fun. Cheers to all!

All of my alarms are screaming red alert - Blake is a danger! I'm still deeply in love with your love story Our Summer Rhapsody and I'm still waiting for a love story that will manage to outshine it. With every new 'psychological' story @CasualWanderer82, you achieve new literature, philosophical and intellectual highs!

Man plans, and God laughs...to paraphrase - readers say conventional, and @CasualWanderer82 laughs! 😉

Yes, in expressing emotions, we are very much southerners - the Mediterranean sort of mentality (as Greeks for example). 😁

Very touching chapter. In an English restrained way, without big emotional scenes with hugging, tears and drama...still, very tender and heartwarming.

WOW, what a magnificent chapter! Dark, with lot of tension and action packed! Finaly, crowned with triumph of love! I could say - this chapter is a story within a story! @mastershakeme, you've outdone yourself!

I like this chapter very much because it shows there are always consequences for our deeds, but these consequences don't have to be a punishment. If Jonah learns from this, mature and get some experience, he'll come back to NYC much stronger and, maybe, a little bit wiser!

Aww, a Wolf's Sleeping Beauty! I like it! 🐺🐺

Great thing about fiction is that it can describe sex as not just a passionate, sensual experience but also a transcendental - metaphysical. Their bodies know what their minds are still not aware of - they are absolutely the mates. It makes not just a good sex, it makes this two, rather inexperienced lovers, sexual beasts! The only 'human' thing in their encounter is overthinking. In the moment of bliss, they think of Theodore, curse... Just relax guys and enjoy the moment! 😉

Dear friend, this story is so inspiring, I don't know how I'm going to write concise Review!

Put yourself in Brad's position. Entering the library and see your best friend, your admirer, your loyal puppy ... sitting very, almost intimately close with extremely handsome, hot, good looking, well dressed, self-confident guy... The same Lyn, who hardly make any friends, whose only window to the world is you! What to do, put your best smile and make a 'hay bro' show!

Brad is glue, everybody says... Well, he’s the social glue, but he doesn’t feel the heat between the other two. In this scene, Brad is intruder. Brad brings laughter and lightness, but he’s also the mask that covers the deeper emotional plot. Alexander has seen Lyn first. His choice is deliberate. He doesn't sit across from Lyn, but next to him, an intimate position—subtly aggressive and psychologically intrusive. He watches Lyn with assessing, unblinking eyes, something predators or lovers do. “I don’t mind. Exchanging saliva boosts the immune system.” This is hardly medical explanation on hygiene - it is invitation, sexual allusion wrapped in medical, scientific fact. “I will call you Lynton” - is territorial. It's not just arrogance; it's claiming. When Lyn describes Alexander’s wealth, style, and self-assurance, we see envy, hostility, and erotic curiosity braided tightly together. He pretends to despise Alexander, but is also mesmerized by his body, clothes, name, confidence. Lyn is angry because he's intrigued. All that Lyn see is Alexander's mask - handsome face, hot body, wealth, status symbols... Now that I think of previous chapter, I'm wondering, did Lyn dressed expensive clothes to impress Brad...or maybe Alexander?! Which was, obviously, wrong tactics towards the both men - Brad is oblivious to such things, Alexander see through it! So, what's happening here... Lyn thinks Brad and Alexander are connecting and leaving him out. Alexander may feel Brad has “stolen” his moment with Lyn. Brad has no idea anything is happening under the surface- he’s just being friendly, inclusive, funny. But his behavior actually prevents deeper connections from forming.

I had to 'google translate' anchovies (it was never important to know ) ... But anchovies on pizza!!!!

Another deeply emotional scene - this time with Elio, Emilio and Henry. Liberty academy - lost boys can invite them even subconsciously! As for the Turd, his biggest problem is not going to be police of FBI...or assassin himself! Lioness is awaking to protect her children. She is going to tear him apart!

Have you all noticed that Adrian is mentioned is this chapter only once? Even then, his name is one sentence, no adjective, no emotions, no dialogue about it. No concern, no anger, no longing. The sentence is clinical, devoid of affect. Nobody asks about him, his health condition, (non)recovery, status... And that’s exactly how he feared he’d be forgotten. Not hated. It is his true punishment - not to be destroyed but to be left behind. Bobby and nick's silence about Adrian is not cruel, it is final, and it means - this is no longer your story! Bobby and Nick are in the ocean. Ocean the mirror, painted as Tarkovsky’s recurring water motif. For Jung, Ocean is unconscious: vast, unknowable, terrifying and beautiful. It is where the ego dissolves, where individuation begins. Both Nick and Bobby went through their own ritual cleaning and catharsis in the ocean. They are together now. This is the integration - not of one man into another, but of both men into themselves. Shadows didn't disappear; they are finally integrated, and self became whole. We can see them as Jungian Mermaids. Mermaids have this mistic duality - not fully human, not fully beast. They belong to both land and sea, surface and depth, desire and danger. And what is wonderful in this story, our integrated protagonists, can finally breath - both in the water and in the air. In the beautiful kitchen scene, when Bobby says, "Can I help?" he’s asking to help, but he’s also, at a deeper level, asking for help. This is someone (Bobby), not used to being safe in intimacy, learning to ask for it and emotional closeness in the only way he knows how. Nick doesn't make orders, he is guiding Bobby, teaching him. There is no criticism, even imperfection of the work done is commented with humor devoid of sarcasm. In this quiet choreography of slicing tomatoes and flipping toast, Nick is teaching Bobby how to trust again - not through grand declarations, but through rhythm, silence, presence. And Bobby is learning it, one tomato slice at a time. Follows one of the most beautiful and emotional scenes in the story. One, that brought tears to my eyes! in this moment, when Nick says simply, “Go get dressed,” Bobby hears something deeper: you are remembered, you are not a burden, I want you there... Attention received without begging or 'paying' for it. It’s the child in him, long buried under layers of adult coping, finally getting permission to surface. No longer having to be guarded, mature, composed. Just happy. Just wanted. This child, happily running up the stairs is the happy child receiving his first Christmas gift. Bobby becomes the child he never got to be. And in doing so, begins to become whole. The Video Vault as a symbol of emotional refuge and growth, a safe space where past and present meet. But there is a serious question of guilt here. Now we know Nick has seen beneath the Bobby's mask all the time, he was seeing a real Bobby. Does Nick's inability to react earlier make him unconsciously, in indirect way, Adrian's accomplice? Maybe it was not the time for both of them to integrate but now, Nick is rebuilding Bobby with tenderness, patience, safety. It’s reparation. He might never say it aloud - but every soft instruction, every coffee cup, every glance toward Bobby is a quiet apology. Not for what he did. But for what he didn’t do. Final scene is the culmination! Bobby and Nick have crossed the border from longing to embodiment. The silence that ends the chapter is not absence - it’s sacred stillness. The staircase - a visual and symbolic spine of Bobby’s individuation. Every time he climbs it, we’re seeing another phase in his becoming, from boy to broken boy, to haunted man, to integrated Self. In this scene, he leads someone else through the shadows. He becomes the one who can carry love up the stairs. Symbolically, the first Bobby (angry, sarcastic, crushed) is going up to the stairs into the jail. Second Bobby (reborn child, happy) is going home. The third Bobby (integrated, the leading one) is going up to the stair into the heaven. Finally, he is not just climbing, he leads. A bookstore, five years later. "Let me tell you something about fiction," he said. "It is a mirror, yes, but it is also a wound. It shows what we are and what we hide. What we ache for and what we fear. And sometimes, if you're very lucky, it shows you who you used to be, so that you may forgive him." This is @CasualWanderer82 testament, a message to us. Fiction doesn’t just expose the Shadow—it helps the self-integrate it. That last part, “forgive him” implies that Nick sees fiction not as redemption. Storytelling becomes a sacred act of reconciliation with one's past self. Seen through cinematic prism our author using so nicely in this story - we can see the touch of old masters as Bergman and Tarkovsky, but some contemporary as Lynch and Tarantino, too. But, overall, @CasualWanderer82' story has the most of Hitchcock in itself. Lynch directs the mood, Bergman writes the script, Tarkovsky edits the imagery, and Hitchcock supervises the structure—with flashes of Tarantino heat when the gloves come off.

@J LeRoy @The Donling now I remember where I know you from!!! 😁 @CasualWanderer82 - are you gathering a fan club?!

Thank you for your praise. I like your comments very much. You never miss to underline the most important clues of the story!

Thank you, my dear @CasualWanderer82! I'm really humbled by your words. Such a high praise from such a talented author makes my heart tremble! Your work is endless inspiration - a "weightlift" for my brain!

Cinematic atmosphere you bring in this chapter @CasualWanderer82 is not merely aesthetic, it is deeply thematic, beautifully wrapped in Bobby's admiration for Bergman and Tarkovsky! Tarkovsky’s films are slow, meditative, and visually spiritual—he is less interested in plot than in the soul’s weather, in time as felt through breath and silence. I was mesmerized watching Andrei Rublev, almost hypnotized by the close-up scenes, camera focus on icon or huge church bell... This chapter...wow, it becomes Tarkovskian in its soul. The camera lingers. Time stretches. Sound recedes. And what remains is a ritual of presence—two people enduring each other’s silence until it softens into care. Five years later we see new Bobby, integrated Bobby, man reshaped by trauma, loss and insight. Once angry and sarcastic boy now moves with quiet intelligence. Scene between Bobby and the film professor subtly echoes and reflects the earlier scene between Caleb and Nick. Bobby appears far more like Nick's spiritual heir than Adrian's biological son. Not in mimicry, but in tone, restraint, and philosophical presence. We can see now that Adrian was attracted to the similarity between Nick and Bobby, and that attraction was deeply conflicted, twisted, and psychologically loaded. If he couldn't own Nick, he could own the part of Nick that lived inside Bobby. In the scene where Adrian almost strangles Bobby, by asserting violent control over Bobby’s body, Adrian is trying to destroy the part of Bobby that reminds him of Nick. Or, more disturbingly, he's trying to possess that part. To reassert dominance not over Bobby—but over Nick, through Bobby. In present day, we face another revelation. What initially seemed like a heart attack is now confirmed as a stroke (an injury to the brain) and it isn't just a clinical detail. It’s deeply symbolic. A stroke in the brain—especially in the right hemisphere, which governs emotion, creativity, nonverbal memory, empathy...means that Adrian’s collapse was not due to too much feeling, but the failure of his ability to suppress, manipulate, and control those feelings. The man who sought total mastery—of his image, of others, of his narrative—loses control itself. His downfall is ultimate! Back to the previous chapter and therapy scene, we see that Adrian survived, but did not transform. And he is he is utterly, profoundly alone! Bobby’s voice, "What now?", isn’t just logistical. He asks, what now when the father figure is destroyed, when the bruises are visible, what now when Nick sees a real Bobby! "We rest". We return to the house. We survive this night, together. Simply beautiful...and so comforting! Nick doesn't give solution or answer, he gives hope! The return home is dark and emotionally heavy. Bobby's ambivalent feelings about Adrian raises the question - what does it mean when your abuser is also the person you love most deeply, or the only person who’s ever claimed to love you back? Now, they go into house, which is supposed to be a sanctuary, instead it is a storage of bad memories! Nevertheless, there is nowhere else to go and surviving means confronting the 'crime scene'! Nick becomes the therapist with small gestures - perfect sandwich, changing sheets... They communicate more in quite than in speech (Tarkovsky again). Bobby showers, he doesn't recognize himself in mirror. This moment is not just about looking different. It’s about realizing that he doesn't reflect the person who defined him, anymore. If at the beginning of the chapter we saw Bobby's psychological resembling of Nick, here we see his physical detachment from his biological creator. It's both liberating and terrifying. We see Richard as Jung's personification again. He is not giving morals or some guru guidance, he merely gestures toward a gentler path and walks away, leaving Bobby with a choice. And of course, there is a dog now. A silent comforter. What follows is magnificent, silent dance between Nick and Bobby. They are not healed, but they are, for one hour, held in the same silence. Nick's refusal of both alcohol and a joint, mark a sharp character contrast between him and Adrian, and also reveals key differences in their attentions, intentions, and emotional strategies toward Bobby. This is Nick’s way of loving differently - not with passion or seduction, but with stillness and presence. And that may be what Bobby needs most. The scene while they are watching movie brings the kind of intimacy that doesn’t speak in declarations, only in touch and timing and silence. At this moment they are (still) not lovers, they are something more - they are survivors. The closing scene is not romantic ending. It looks like two broken bodies breathing together. @CasualWanderer82, you have written a masterpiece! My sincere respect and admiration!

There's not even Penis Enlarge Magic! Fuck, for some things there is never solution! 😜

These teenagers are way too much impulsive! They don't know when time is to be quiet! So what if Victor is in love with Will! It makes him almost human! Stealing phone in the moment of Victor's break down...to do what?! Find some gay porn or Ginder application to blackmail Victor...?! I have no excuse for Victor's actions, but this is the first time I see him as victim too!

Adrian can have mask and performance for Nick and Bobby but, he cannot fool the death!

You write a great smut but, there are no 'sex' scenes in this story! It's very graphic, cruel and painful violence. Second 'sex' almost a rape! The purpose of the first scene was Nick's shocking revelation and awakening. The purpose of the second scene is Bobby's awakening: 'Suddenly aware, painfully so, of the harm his adoration for his father was causing. Was this love, Bobby wondered? Was this the only path to Adrian's heart? To completely annihilate himself? To die, if need be? On any other occasion, Bobby would have believed so. He would have convinced himself of it'. So, in this story sex is not something joyful, it's a tool in domination game!

@CasualWanderer82 brings one of the most tragic, the most shocking, the most devastating and disturbing turning points in literature! It's not just disturbing because of the violence. It's disturbing because it ruptures something precious: a fragile, long-awaited glimpse of fatherhood, of tenderness, of humanity. And then, suddenly, Adrian turns. Snaps. Reverts. Or rather, something out of subconscious erupts as volcano, and it's monstrous. We don’t just watch a character act badly; we watch the destruction of something sacred, something we hoped might last. Adrian's Eleventh Hour - his last chance at redemption as a father and human being, the moment where everything could have turned, and yet didn't. It is also death before rebirth. My own impression of the chapter theme would be 'awakening'! After few chapters being nearly a shadow, psychologically dormant, Adrian is awakening in empty, cold, bed. But this is not awakening in his reality, this is new reality. Nick’s absence is felt like a wound, Bobby’s loyalty is no longer guaranteed, his body is failing, the past is no longer deniable, love will no longer tolerate domination. Interesting thing - seems that Adrian was likely more 'emotionally satisfied' when Nick and Bobby were fighting. If Bobby and Nick turned toward each other, Adrian would be left out - exposed, irrelevant, or even replaced. Bobby is in the ocean which mirrors Nick’s earlier moment almost exactly. He hates the ocean but walks in anyway - not as act of rebellion but as surrender. Nick and Bobby are undergoing transformations. They’ve entered the "church" of the ocean. It is noticeable that Adrian haven't yet entered the ocean. He is just watching, refusing to surrender, refusing to leave control... Maybe afraid that if he let's go, he won't come back. Bobby, very openly, shows Adrian that he sees him, a real him! He sees the performance - Adrian trying to play the role of a loving, responsible father. But he also sees through the performance to what he believes is the real Adrian underneath: someone deeply flawed, self-absorbed (narcissist), haunted or damaged (traumatized). What follows is change in dynamics. It is a fragile opening of possibility. It’s a scene that balances humor, tension, and quiet hope, showing that while the past can’t be erased, the present holds the chance for something new. Dance of a father and son, a dance of hope! That fragile moment, too intimate, too close, too real - is what broke Adrian. And than - the twist! Adrian’s behavior embodies an aggressive, almost cruel dominance combined with possessive obsession. His words and actions humiliate and control Bobby, while also revealing a deeper, chaotic need to assert power in a relationship marked by pain, vulnerability, and unresolved emotional wounds. Adrian remembered the way Bobby looked at Nick! And it triggers complete madness! That look burned. It confirmed Adrian's worst fear: Bobby is slipping away emotionally, and maybe he’s realizing there is a life beyond Adrian’s gravitational pull. Bobby is, finally, aware of everything - saying farewell to his father providing the last, merciful, lie! Before violence, there was a Dance of father and son, in post-coitus 'bliss', we see the Dance of a madman! Adrian explodes into a caricature of swagger and chaos! Quoting Muhammad Ali, Adrian makes his final performance of bravado, it becomes grotesque—a madman’s line in a ruined play! So, when the heart attack happens, it is not just physical. It’s the body collapsing under the weight of the psyche's unbearable truth. The moment is deeply symbolic: a total failure of his defenses, emotional, psychological, even physiological. The subconscious revolts and the heart breaks—literally and metaphorically. Finally, we are at the beginning of the chapter - a psychotherapy session. Adrian is clearly suffering. There’s remorse, guilt, and shame but progress is slow—almost nonexistent. He hasn't still stepped into the ocean. Adrian is still on the sand, drenched in sweat, guilt, blood, and ego. He hasn’t washed it off. He hasn’t allowed himself to feel. The therapist starts where the fire is burning hottest - with Nick and Bobby, but the source of the fire is much deeper. “I didn't exactly have the best example growing up.” This is the door to the answer 'why'! Unwrapping the past might be the Adrian's first step toward the ocean. Seems that confronting death put Adrian to another extreme. Instead of integration he is drowning in self-pity and despair. So, Adrian is diagnosed with 'narcissistic personality disorder', in a way, I have to agree with Adran that it is a label. It is a description, not explanation. @CasualWanderer82 humanized NPD's pattern, going further - he reveals what might create it, and gives a sign of possibility of a crack where the light can get in.