Cane23

@J LeRoy you've made me read, reread and read again both the story and your comments. I don't know, am I more thankful or frustrated for putting my mind on a light speed mode! 🙂 So, Nick -a protector, savior, liar...or all together? If we read “protector” as someone who shields another from harm, Nick doesn’t do that. So, from that lens, the word protector seems dishonest. Nevertheless, how I see it - Nick’s form of saving or “protecting” Bobby was not about shielding him from pain but confronting him with it. He lets Bobby fall, not to abandon him, but to push him through something. Nick never protected Bobby in the soft, paternalistic sense, he rescued him from self-delusion, from emotional paralysis, from denial. And this required force, maybe even cruelty. Bobby would have told him to fuck off if Nick came gently, as some therapist or moral preacher. Nick shows Bobby his shadow - he doesn’t rescue him from the wolves, because the wolves are part of what Bobby must face. But what he does do is stay just close enough, quietly holding the life belt out of view. Nick orchestrates a moment of collapse that becomes Bobby's turning point. Vindictive or petty ...the same as questionable and monstrous - this is all said from the moral framework. Nick doesn’t poison Adrian to punish him, he does it after years of failed hope, spiritual exhaustion. It’s not revenge; it’s resignation, not cruelty but cracked mercy. Nick doesn’t enjoy this choice, he mourns it. Calling Nick petty ignores the gravity of the internal war Nick’s been waging for years. It also ignores how long Nick avoided making this decision. This was the last resort, not the first. This! Yes, Nick is a liar! Mostly lying himself, for years, as you said. Nick must believe he did it to protect Bobby. Because the alternative, that he gave up on a man he once loved and killed a version of him to save what was left of himself and the boy he failed to shield is intolerable. So, he builds the narrative: I was Bobby’s protector. I had to choose. It’s a rationalization, but not a hollow one. It feels like truth to him because it’s stitched from desperation and love. Finally, as we all agreed, Nick isn’t the hero. He’s also not a villain. He’s a failed idealist, who tried to save two people, maybe even love them both, and couldn’t.

This!!! This is the crucial moment, the most controversial scene in the story! It is the moment when Nick, finally start the process of embracing his Shadow. To embrace the shadow means: facing your dark side (becoming aware of the parts of yourself you disown or fear); accepting without judgment and, finally, integrating the shadow: Finding a conscious place for those traits in your life. Why Nick does this - because what you repress controls you. Of course, confronting the Shadow can have positive as well as negative impacts. Facing denied, dark or painful traits can cause emotional distress or moral reckoning. Or, in Nick's own words: This is the Nick's ultimate try. This is the moment when he says it's all or nothing. This is the moment he says - I'm standing naked before you, it is the last thing I have, and I give it to you! He is no longer pretending to be the “good influence.” He’s meeting them in the dirt. Bobby, though shaken, allows himself to be exposed, even when punished. He feels more than Adrian. The fact that he looked into Nick (and Adrian noticed) means he’s drawn toward the truth. He wants to see, even at great cost. Adrian, in contrast, reacts with violence and control - he’s threatened by Bobby’s gaze, by Nick’s attention, by anything that punctures his mask. Sex, as usual for Adrian, becomes a tool of power or possession, not revelation. It's a moment where Nick is trying to integrate the triangle through an act that is erotic, sacrificial, and morally ambiguous - and only one of the three can bear the cost of truth. I was surprised with revelation that Adrian's stroke has been induced by poison delivered by Nick. It shows how strongly rooted Adrian's self-portrait was - so much that even body could not rebel against such monstrous psychological auto engineering without attack from the outside. It shows, simply, there was no other way. I don't know was it morally or not, but I see it as act of self-defense. As for the Nick leaving Bobby - was it really running away or giving a chance? That's the ultimate sacrifice - Nick saved Bobby from Adrian but, this was moment to save him from himself. Grief is not good enough foundation for a stable relationship. Grief can be very destructive; we've seen it in The Good Son. Time is the only good medicine for the grief. Finally, what will be with Adrian. I think, in order to reintegrate, he must have his own meeting with Richard and his own bath in the Ocean. Is he going to become one with the Ocean and join Lorenzo, or he is going to step out of the water, reborn - I leave it to the poetic imagination of @CasualWanderer82!

You're probably right but, that's my way of self-protection. If I allow myself to involve too much emotionally in @CasualWanderer82's story, he'll break me!

I'd like to believe that Nick's departure is moment when Bad Education becomes a Man Up game! "Professor Morrisey, you ever think," Caleb said, "that maybe disappearing for someone isn't weakness, but a different kind of presence?" Nick didn't answer. He just looked up, lips parted, words caught somewhere behind his teeth. Caleb took a step backward, then another. "Maybe love isn't about being seen. Maybe it's about being the one thing they can't stop feeling, even when you're gone."

I know who it is! It's @kbois!!! 😂🤣

I don't have to imagine, @CasualWanderer82 wrote it: "Some would argue losing yourself for someone else is the easiest path to destruction." Caleb tilted his head. "Or maybe it's the only honest one." Nick's voice sharpened, only slightly. "And what if you...become invisible in the process? What if you vanish completely?" Caleb was quiet, contemplative. "Then maybe that's still love. Tragic, but…love doesn't always need to be...seen. It just needs to be given." Nick looked at him long and hard. "Even if it hurts?" Caleb smiled, soft and crooked. "Especially if it hurts."

Before I leave you guys for a few hours, I'll answer this question (although I'm eagerly waiting @The Donling's authentic approach). If he really integrates, embrace his shadow, break his persona, exorcise his father... Adrian will deserve to be happy. It doesn't mean to get together with Nick and Bobby because I'm not sure they'll be able to trust him ever again. But let's leave @CasualWanderer82 surprise us in final chapter! 😉

Exactly...and, what's even more painful, he didn't sacrifice 'only' his principles and ethics; he sacrificed his love. He deliberately hurt the man he loves to save him and his son! This, my friends, is another one @CasualWanderer82's masterpiece worth of the Greek Tragedy!

Fighting my time!

So, it was a sacrifice... Nick sacrificed something holy, a really big part of his own soul to save Bobby. It is tragic, brave and painful!

As @The Donling, I need a time to do my homework, but I have to highlight the metaphor... “Aminocaproic acid” literally stops bleeding by promoting blood clotting - so in the physiological sense, it’s about halting loss and damage. But metaphorically, it’s profound: when Nick says, “Some wrongs feel like mercy when love rots beyond recognition,” he’s acknowledging that sometimes harm, even betrayal, feels like an act of mercy or protection when the original love has decayed into something poisonous. It’s not about justice or redemption...it’s about stopping the bleeding (the ongoing emotional and physical destruction) before it kills both of them - Adrian through his self-destructive behavior and Bobby through emotional abuse and neglect. It’s a beautiful but brutal metaphor for a love that’s no longer love, and a mercy that’s also a weapon. Bravo @CasualWanderer82!!!!

Pregnant Rory - constructing scenarios in his head where is his husband sneaking in the night!!! Drunken wrestling with Garran who likes boys! 😱 Convincing Rory is going to be difficult for Kieran as much as tests itself! I, almost, feel sorry for him ... Poor arrogant bastard is going to need a patience of a Buddhist monk!

Oh my...she's fast! At one moment I've understood only mama and papa (daddy)... I've never been to US so, my first impression of the 'south' came from the miniseries "North & South"! Not to go into slavery thing but, it was amazing to see that kind of American aristocracy and chivalry that exists on American south. Oh, Patrick Swayze as Orry Main was not bad on the eye too! 😉

Impatiently waiting your comment! 🙂

LOL, it must have been your poetic style, combined with southern charm that misled me! Well, after all those triangles, can you blame me?! 🙂 Nevertheless, @CasualWanderer82 everything is unique in your style, friendship including. One of the most beautiful scenes, the one I've been reading and rereading hundreds of times...is when Oliver kissed Jason's mouth, with Charlotte and children around, in final chapter of the Summer Rhapsody. It is so sensual and gentle, erotic but not passionate. Sexual in the most innocent way. Writing this, I feel the contradictions of my words, still, I don't know how, but you did it! That platform scene from this chapter is as almost as beautiful as the kiss from OSR.

It is not just love - friendly, brotherly or romantic...it so much more. Kind of adoration! Cash has put Jackson on pedestal as something beautiful, pure, untouchable. Something that should be used only to look at. He does it to hide and burry deep his true feelings. And Jackson...he's mesmerized by the bad boy. Blake awakes him - emotionally, sexually... It's wild, it's forbidden... There is chemistry, there is passion and lust...alas, Blake doesn't seem like a long-term boy material. I'm afraid, when it comes to real feelings, Blake tends to run away. Bulls are piece of cake comparing to feelings when it comes to Blake! I just love the Cinderella entrance Jackson has made! Very cinematic again @CasualWanderer82!

Brad has put Lyn on some kind of bizarre pedestal of purity! He might not want to admit to himself that he's attracted to Lyn, but his behavior is totally territorial. Brad doesn’t want Lyn to belong to anyone else, not even himself. Brad doesn’t want Lyn to lose his “innocence” because that innocence protects both of them from reality, from change, from desire, and from truth. “You wouldn’t like the stuff I watch,” ... oh, really?! What ridiculous excuse - makes me thing he is lying! Could it be that Brad is watching some gay porn, or he just want Lyn to keep some, God-like, untouched by some "Basic instincts"?! 😜 Is it only my impression that, till now, Brad's mask is the most annoying of the three?! The dynamic between Alexander and Lyn has a strong echo of Pride and Prejudice, especially in the early Elizabeth-Darcy tension. I know you like this sort of relationships @Laura S. Fox, you did it with Bad boys too! 🙂 like in Pride and Prejudice, the real villain isn’t one another - it’s miscommunication, pride, and the need to protect a self-image. I've been touched by Lyn's desperate, existential struggle to survive. Lyn doesn’t study hard because he just loves knowledge. He studies because it’s life or death - socially, psychologically and probably, financially. What is his background, what did he escaped and still (in nowadays) escaping from?

That one is hardcore!

Honestly...it's all @CasualWanderer82! He inspired me to reopen my old books and - thank you God for internet as additional source of information! It was the moment when Nick went into the ocean for the first time when it clicked to me! It was like revelation! Oh. My. God...I thought - this is f*cking Jung! Everything was so clear after that... Ocean - the subconsciousness, the archetypes, both cradle and deathbed! Very strong motif in, almost, every @CasualWanderer82' story! The challenge is not anymore analyzing 'just' this story. The complete @CasualWanderer82 opus is amazing psychological experiment. Three people, two are usually blood related - father/son/friend; father/son/stepson; father/husband/(step)son etc. caught in dominance game with different emotions, motives, pasts, animalities - total humanity in micro space! My latest dilemma, especially after reading this story, was to figure out:

Of course - immobility, control, pride... Your literature is so rich and complex that every sentence has a deeper meaning, so, important parallels can be missed! There were many cinematic associations in this story. Reading about Adrian's upbringing, his father reminded me lot of stepfather's character (played by Robert De Niro) from the movie This Boy's Life. The same belittling, humiliating attitude...verbal abuse combined with aggression.

@CasualWanderer82 gave us the answer on that in chapter 2: "Flaubert @CasualWanderer82 didn't create Emma Bovary Adrian so you we could judge her him," he muttered, scribbling a sharp "Unpack your assumptions" in the margin. There is only one @CasualWanderer82's character (counting only finished stories) which could be considered irredeemable, without empathy or conscience, a dangerous character, a true villain in a sense that he has no scruples...

I would call him a title character. Just think, who has been bad educated and then became bad educator himself...

Is this @kbois's cat?! 😜

Adrian: good hardware, decent software, but a lousy user.

Especially when he is the master craftsmen of his own Persona. I've been surprised by the way you described Adrian's boyhood and teenage years. Abuse and neglect were not surprise but the way he faced it was something I didn't expect. Instead of subconscious changes in a young man's mind, there is deliberately built, painstakingly rehearsed, and emotionally invested mask. It's not an accidental defense mechanism; it's a deliberate performance - a discipline, almost an art form. That's why old patterns die hard - because when you've constructed your emotional armor by choice (not instinct) you can't pretend you were just a victim of your upbringing or your trauma. He had a choice, and he has chosen poorly! Maybe I repeat myself but, I'll say it again - Adrian is one of the most fascinating characters you've created @CasualWanderer82! There's a local pop song - lyrics goes like "It’s easy to like pearls but try loving a shell." Nick is easy to admire, Bobby is easy to love (I mean - boy likes Murakami, that's my guy 🙂) but Adrian, he demands work! You’ve created a character who’s not simply difficult, he’s difficult in the way real people are. The way some of the most emotionally intelligent, wounded individuals become - full of potential but imprisoned in their own creation. The real tragedy is that Adrian had the intelligence, the insight, the emotional potential to be the partner Nick needed and the steady, warm parent Bobby craved. Instead, he chose mastery over vulnerability, manipulation over transparency. He crafted a persona to be desired rather than truly known.