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peter rietbergen

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Everything posted by peter rietbergen

  1. peter rietbergen

    One Coffee

    peter rietbergen commented on Kevin Snell's story chapter in One Coffee

    Certainly well-written. Where it is going... To submission?
  2. peter rietbergen

    The Pack

    peter rietbergen commented on Kevin Snell's story chapter in The Pack

    Obviously, this is going to tell the tale of a journey that will be its own 'goal': a catharsis. It voices the right emotions, implicitly asks the right questions. Thus, how it ends doesn't really matter....
  3. peter rietbergen
    It seems O's unhappiness, not ti say his inability to find much that is positive in his life stretches back to long before his marriage with D. The sense of emptiness is forcefully conveyed. Well done.
  4. peter rietbergen
    I haven't had as much fun with a GA story as with this one in years....
  5. peter rietbergen
    Oh, well - for the sake of this story we're simply going with the assumption that Alex is as stupid as they get....🙂
  6. peter rietbergen
    Looking forward to it!
  7. peter rietbergen
    Great fun indeed
  8. peter rietbergen
    Ah. You'll miss her, certainly.
  9. peter rietbergen
    If opportunity ever arises I think I might like to have tea with your mother...🙂
  10. peter rietbergen
    I can only say: Bravo, and: Thank You.
  11. peter rietbergen
    I'm not normally given to moist eyes, but was after reading this. And no, I do not - do not at all - agree with those who blame the three family members. Eric was more than wonderful. He doesn't condemn. He sees. He accepts. Were the parents coldhearted? No they weren't. The father - what did we expect, what could w expect, the more so since we also know he will definitely try. And the mother? She was as wonderful as she could be, given her character, her marriage, her pre-determined roles in life and society.
  12. peter rietbergen
    A hugely enjoyable chapter! If Neil gets more Roses, he'll thrive.
  13. peter rietbergen

    Chapter 1

    peter rietbergen commented on Topher Lydon's story chapter in Chapter 1

    Funny? Yes. But otherwise! In real life, who is going to teach a boy like Max some manners, if not the likes of Gabriel, or the teacher, or the headmaster, or his mother. In the end he will remain insufferable.
  14. peter rietbergen
    A masterfully contrived scene. Not Margot's Perfect Plan, but the chaos that reflects the emotions everyone present is somehow experiencing. Bravo.
  15. peter rietbergen
    And now for something completely different in the Topherverse...Admittedly not my kind of story, BUT: very well done.
  16. peter rietbergen

    Prologue

    peter rietbergen commented on Topher Lydon's story chapter in Prologue

    And, by the way: is Max going to be a younger version of Ben in one of your earlier stories?
  17. peter rietbergen

    Prologue

    peter rietbergen commented on Topher Lydon's story chapter in Prologue

    At my school, the headmaster wouldn't have tolerated bullying, or, for that matter, everything this boy does. But then in my country parents cannot decide what a school will tolerate or not....
  18. peter rietbergen

    Chapter 19

    peter rietbergen commented on Topher Lydon's story chapter in Chapter 19

    All nicely wrapped-up and shipshape....
  19. peter rietbergen

    Chapter 1

    peter rietbergen commented on KKirk's story chapter in Chapter 1

    And I forget one important point: of course AI gets more creative when it is fed with more detailed, creative prompts. I've experimented with it, not in GA- like stories but in historical romance. It can, e.g., create quite convincing, personalised dialogues...
  20. peter rietbergen

    Chapter 1

    peter rietbergen commented on KKirk's story chapter in Chapter 1

    Actually, I disagree with many of you, in the sense that a considerable number of stories on GA are grammatically and otherwise stylistically quite a bit less competent than this one is. Moreover, all of it is of course simply distilled from - let's be honest - text databases as are, precisely, GA and such. As to the sex scenes: Of all the stories I follow on GA, very few succeed in surprising or excite me. Most are boringky formulaic. With Accolla I agree: The best ones are those that describe the least....
  21. peter rietbergen
    However much this is not what your readers want, it is, given the way you've created Owen, entirely convincing. Strangely, of course O's decision not to enter the Admissions' Building mirrors R's decision not to start on a course - no pun intended - to alter his own life at least a bit...
  22. peter rietbergen
    Let Neil visit the Art Nouveau furniture in the Musee d'Orsay. Far easier than Nancy....
  23. peter rietbergen

    Chapter 18

    peter rietbergen commented on Topher Lydon's story chapter in Chapter 18

    So the non-consummation offers the protagonists , or rather the author and his story an escape route....
  24. peter rietbergen

    Chapter 17

    peter rietbergen commented on Topher Lydon's story chapter in Chapter 17

    I admit that I didn't understand the sequence from chapter 16 to 17. Is Giles the same as Gautier? And Atr did win from him in the second round? And s third round followed, with Richard. Why is GG down in the mud in the beginning of chapter 17? And why is young Lothar bleeding?
  25. peter rietbergen
    A milestone reached and passed. Now the next one..
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