Jump to content

peter rietbergen

Members
 View Profile  See their activity

  • Posts

    954

  • Joined

  • Last visited

 Content Type 

Everything posted by peter rietbergen

  1. peter rietbergen
    Call me a sentimental (old) fool, but I'm loving it. Though I do not normally vent my opinions about the way(s) a story unfolds, I yet wonder if the Jacob-in-the-attic set-up is entirely prudential...Then again: the author plans the story, and always has the last wordt.
  2. peter rietbergen
    To be honest: I feel the story would have been more convincing without the end, without the perspective of sex between Mark and the narrator...
  3. peter rietbergen

    Chapter 6

    peter rietbergen commented on andy cannon's story chapter in Chapter 6

    Rereading the mother's letter, I wonder if she is not almost too wisea to be true, also because, in those times, the parent-child relation may not have been as "open" as this text suggests. That said, Vane's letter, confession, was entirely convincing. This continues to be a wonderfully rewarding story, that deserves to be a printed novel, too.
  4. peter rietbergen

    Chapter 10

    peter rietbergen commented on Josh Aterovis's story chapter in Chapter 10

    Well done, especially the last part, describing the meeting with the new love interest: good dialogue
  5. peter rietbergen

    Chapter 5

    peter rietbergen commented on andy cannon's story chapter in Chapter 5

    The sentiments as well as principles expressed in the exchange of letters are equally - if not more - urgent nowadays, with so many organisations/institutions - public and private - increasingly functioning without them.
  6. peter rietbergen

    Chapter 1

    peter rietbergen commented on Connectwriter's story chapter in Chapter 1

    Good start of the game.
  7. peter rietbergen
    A potentially interesting story. But is it convincing? To put it otherwise: is T emotionally adult enough or too stupid to realize that one glance at a handsome man may not be the basis of a new life - one that is emotionally satisfying?
  8. peter rietbergen
    Interesting. I only now realise I, too, grew up with a mother who used to burst - haphazardly often - into quotes from poems I obviously didn't know, and hummed all kinds of unfamiliar melodies. Unwittingly, she turned me into a boy/man of "...songs and snatches" that only much later became recognisable as haling ik from Schubert or Schuman, or from Dutch poets whose very names are now lost.
  9. peter rietbergen
    It continues as good as it started!
  10. peter rietbergen

    Chapter 3

    peter rietbergen commented on andy cannon's story chapter in Chapter 3

    The epistolary mode: another clever choice: period-style, but very effective. And funny, too.
  11. peter rietbergen

    Chapter 2

    peter rietbergen commented on andy cannon's story chapter in Chapter 2

    I'm glad I still see the promise fulfilled.
  12. peter rietbergen

    Prologue

    peter rietbergen commented on andy cannon's story chapter in Prologue

    A clever mix of Hornblower, Master and Commander, Mark Armour, Jane Austen and Georgette Heyer. But gay. And stylistically interesting. Well worth reading, I think
  13. peter rietbergen
    Tennyson. Well, some of his poetry still inspires. But I must admit the "In Memoriam", despite its interesting and even emotional origin/context, in T's friendship with AH, doesn't work for me anymore. It'd be interesting to know why you remember precisely these lines from this gigantic verse-mountain..
  14. peter rietbergen
    Yes, this was uncovering another layer of L's and A's past. And an important one, too. But precisely because they shared such experiences, Lynton's continuing obtuseness is strange, to say the least. Thanks, Laura.
  15. peter rietbergen
    This is a very good chapter indeed, almost a psychological analysis of the phenomenon described so vividly.
  16. peter rietbergen

    Chapter 9

    peter rietbergen commented on LittleBuddhaTW's story chapter in Chapter 9

    Though I really like the story's arc, I, too, have some doubts as to the "age"/maturity of the characters. Especially Nick's. One the one hand he seems terribly naive. On the other he is studying world history and taking in the Enlightenment and other stuff. Which, in Europe, you'd only get to know when you're 17 or 18 years old. Maybe the American school system, and its pupils, are more advanced than I was led to believe...
  17. peter rietbergen
    I cannot but admit it: this story is really, really well written, with very funny dialogue - and likeable, funny protagonists. But - yes, there is a but. If this goes where it seems to be going, how am I going to be convinced that a boy as verbally virtuose as Skylar is ever going to really team up with a boy he himself describes as a moron. Surely he's not going to succumb to pure, hormonal lust, only?
  18. peter rietbergen

    In the Dark

    peter rietbergen commented on Laura S. Fox's story chapter in In the Dark

    Actually, this may be the (one) flaw in the narrative... For we all know that Alexander desires L. He may have done so since they first met. The fact that he was married doesn't make him straight, nor even bi.
  19. peter rietbergen

    Chapter 7

    peter rietbergen commented on LittleBuddhaTW's story chapter in Chapter 7

    It is, definitely, a compelling story - and a well-written one, too. But yet. These boys are supposed to be fourteen year old. Trying to recall memories of what i was like, what my friends were like when we went to school - a school roughly comparable one to the institution the boys attend, albeit in Europe - I simply do not remember us ever talking, thinking like they do. Either American boys are far more mature than we, Europeans, were at that age (though, e.g., American TV-series like "Friends" strike me as singularly childish for what, really, are supposed to be men and women in their mid-twenties....) , or the author is projecting a more adult mind-set on his protagonists.
  20. peter rietbergen
    Very, very well contrived, in showing/uncovering the complex psychological interaction between the three. One of your deep-probing best, Laura. Thank you.
  21. peter rietbergen

    Chapter 5

    peter rietbergen commented on LittleBuddhaTW's story chapter in Chapter 5

    A strong chapter. But yet: do fourteen-year olds really have this level of emotional articulation, or is it an adult author projecting those thoughts and feelings and the proper words for them on his protagonists?
  22. peter rietbergen

    Chapter 3

    peter rietbergen commented on Josh Aterovis's story chapter in Chapter 3

    a great chapter. But yet: I may be dumb, but if it was that easy to find his dad's data, and even address, why didn't S. do it before?
  23. peter rietbergen

    Epilogue 1

    peter rietbergen commented on Tony S.'s story chapter in Epilogue 1

    actually: please: not more! It is very good as it is. More would spoilt it.
  24. peter rietbergen
    favourite parts/favourite persons: beyond the obvious: Karen!
  25. peter rietbergen
    I so love to have new layers of their (past) lives revealed, as in this chapter. Thanks.
×
×
  • Create New...