peter rietbergen
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Everything posted by peter rietbergen
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Violin sonatas & sex tips
peter rietbergen commented on Robert Hugill's story chapter in Violin sonatas & sex tips
It continues as good as it started! -
The epistolary mode: another clever choice: period-style, but very effective. And funny, too.
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I'm glad I still see the promise fulfilled.
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A clever mix of Hornblower, Master and Commander, Mark Armour, Jane Austen and Georgette Heyer. But gay. And stylistically interesting. Well worth reading, I think
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Morning chat & evening liaison
peter rietbergen commented on Robert Hugill's story chapter in Morning chat & evening liaison
Tennyson. Well, some of his poetry still inspires. But I must admit the "In Memoriam", despite its interesting and even emotional origin/context, in T's friendship with AH, doesn't work for me anymore. It'd be interesting to know why you remember precisely these lines from this gigantic verse-mountain.. -
Yes, this was uncovering another layer of L's and A's past. And an important one, too. But precisely because they shared such experiences, Lynton's continuing obtuseness is strange, to say the least. Thanks, Laura.
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Chapter 8 Watching and Waiting
peter rietbergen commented on Tomkin Watts's story chapter in Chapter 8 Watching and Waiting
This is a very good chapter indeed, almost a psychological analysis of the phenomenon described so vividly. -
Though I really like the story's arc, I, too, have some doubts as to the "age"/maturity of the characters. Especially Nick's. One the one hand he seems terribly naive. On the other he is studying world history and taking in the Enlightenment and other stuff. Which, in Europe, you'd only get to know when you're 17 or 18 years old. Maybe the American school system, and its pupils, are more advanced than I was led to believe...
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My Closet Had Better Lighting Than My Future
peter rietbergen commented on Jeff Burton's story chapter in My Closet Had Better Lighting Than My Future
I cannot but admit it: this story is really, really well written, with very funny dialogue - and likeable, funny protagonists. But - yes, there is a but. If this goes where it seems to be going, how am I going to be convinced that a boy as verbally virtuose as Skylar is ever going to really team up with a boy he himself describes as a moron. Surely he's not going to succumb to pure, hormonal lust, only?- 51 comments
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Actually, this may be the (one) flaw in the narrative... For we all know that Alexander desires L. He may have done so since they first met. The fact that he was married doesn't make him straight, nor even bi.
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It is, definitely, a compelling story - and a well-written one, too. But yet. These boys are supposed to be fourteen year old. Trying to recall memories of what i was like, what my friends were like when we went to school - a school roughly comparable one to the institution the boys attend, albeit in Europe - I simply do not remember us ever talking, thinking like they do. Either American boys are far more mature than we, Europeans, were at that age (though, e.g., American TV-series like "Friends" strike me as singularly childish for what, really, are supposed to be men and women in their mid-twenties....) , or the author is projecting a more adult mind-set on his protagonists.
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Very, very well contrived, in showing/uncovering the complex psychological interaction between the three. One of your deep-probing best, Laura. Thank you.
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A strong chapter. But yet: do fourteen-year olds really have this level of emotional articulation, or is it an adult author projecting those thoughts and feelings and the proper words for them on his protagonists?
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a great chapter. But yet: I may be dumb, but if it was that easy to find his dad's data, and even address, why didn't S. do it before?
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actually: please: not more! It is very good as it is. More would spoilt it.
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Chapter 20 - Epilogue
peter rietbergen commented on irivera's story chapter in Chapter 20 - Epilogue
favourite parts/favourite persons: beyond the obvious: Karen! -
Venetia-fucking-Murray
peter rietbergen commented on Robert Hugill's story chapter in Venetia-fucking-Murray
I so love to have new layers of their (past) lives revealed, as in this chapter. Thanks. -
It is a powerful (non-)ending. But to be honest: it lasted too long, became repetitive, lost some of the force it had in it.
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THE END... ? !
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impressively moving.
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Great dialogue!
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Matthew likes the guy, just not in that way
peter rietbergen commented on Robert Hugill's story chapter in Matthew likes the guy, just not in that way
By the way: "a burly Czech builder" - as in: "a fascinating Rumanian farm-hand" - as in "God"s Own Country"? Why not. But I do trust the author to flesh out that (pre-post Brexit?) continental a bit more convincingly than the man in the movie - who turned out to be simply a handsome prop... -
By the way: "a burly Czech builder" - as in: "a fascinating Rumanian farm-hand" - as in "God"s Own Country"? Why not. But I do trust the author to flesh out that (pre-post Brexit?) continental a bit more convincingly than the man in the movie - who turned out to be simply a handsome prop...
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Again: a good chapter. But why is one of the tags "asexual" - the story isn't - and is it characterized as "mature", which l is a term I fail to understand anyway? Both prevent a number of potential readers to enjoy it.
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Both moving and convincing.
