That was my mom too. After she died, my father waited six months to tell me his brother-in-law had died. He wasn’t used to being the conduit for family news. And when he died, my brothers lost interest in family gatherings.
When the family does get together, it’s only because my favorite Aunt or my cousin (her daughter) has invited us to join their family. There have been several Thanksgivings and Christmases when I was the only one from my family who joined my favorite Aunt, Uncle, and cousins. My younger brother’s wife and kids haven’t joined us in over a decade, but that’s because they’re separated and probably going to get divorced (even though he has never told me any of this himself).
And my Aunts were afraid that I was the one who was going to shun the family and avoid family gatherings…
;–)