Tipdin

Excellent idea and great choices of music. Join me?

Cia, you are quite right! And I agree, the good AND the bad things in my past make me who I am today. ...and I'm proud to say that I've been told by a few people close to me, that I'm actually quite pleasant to be with!

Yes, actually they did help with that. Part of the reason I thought I would try to bring my folks back into my life was because I understood that THEIR upbringing was terribly flawed. I guess they were too set in their ways to change though. My abuse was much more emotional and verbal than physical. Perhaps that's why WORDS are so important to me now. My parents used to ignore me for long periods of time. I had a brother that died mysteriously when I was three and from then on my folks were very withdrawn and things went consistently down hill as I got older. Though I had very little meaningful contact with other people, I was a good student. Maybe BECAUSE of that I was a good student. In any regard, I graduated early from high school; I was just barely fifteen. The last day of school, I got off the school bus, went home, stuffed a pillowcase with some clothes and walked away. About ten years later, I tried to commit suicide and spent a week in a coma. I was homeless so I thought I would try to go back to my folk's house but they had moved... If not for the help I received from some therapists at the local gay community service center, I would not be alive today. A therapist there broke all the rules and let me move into his house, fed me, clothed me, and even gave me spending money. We found my parents and during a family counseling session the therapist asked if I could come home for a while, and my mother immediately shot back that if she had her way, she'd never see me again. My dad never said a single word throughout the session. Not one single sound. My dad called me a couple of times after that (at the therapist's house) to ask for money... I didn't have a dime - but you can bet that eventually, when I bought my 35-room Victorian mansion on Lake of the Isles, in Minneapolis, I invited them to the house warming! I flaunted my money and success in their face. It was a hollow victory - they could not have cared less. They hated the house and all the antiques that I had restored or bought. I'm going on 60 years old and even now, I broke into a seat just typing that. Some things stay with us, as fresh as the day they first took place. Absolutely ridiculous that I am STILL reacting after all these years. I guess some scars are too deep to ever completely go away. There are many types of abuse. Mine was a gentle abuse, but effective, nonetheless. I think my background is the reason that I make sure that every time I see my friends, I give them a hug, and often a kiss, whenever I say hello or goodbye. Even the straight men - they've gotten used to it! Sometimes I still crave physical touch. It's as important as food.

Interesting timing. Modern Talking's 'Do You Wanna' is playing right now. I'm ALWAYS better with the inspiration of a special someone....

This is a subject I know a bit about, much of it from experience, sadly. Child abuse, or more specifically ignoring a child, depending upon the severity, can indeed damage parts of the brain, killing potential and severely hampering any sort of 'catch-up development.' Abuse, in some ways, may be worse than being ignored. Being ignored, one becomes numb, the brain actually stops developing. Being abused, the brain develops coping mechanisms, and one is often cognizant of one's own plight, and will live life with the damaging effects of abuse. Specifics are important. Damage is generally proportionate to the abuse. I know many, many, MANY healthcare professionals that can only be described as angels sent form Heaven. They are amazingly kind and generous, doing everything they can to help minimize the damage. Yes, there are exceptions. Plenty of them. Thankfully, in my life, the exception was not the norm. With help, I eventually was able to escape from my parents. I tried a few times as an adult to re-incorporate them into my life but they just couldn't recognize their own abusive behavior. I'm in my fifties now, and to this day I cherish people that treat me well. I will not walk, but RUN from people that make me feel "at home."

Oh gosh, my theme song definitely used to be Born To Be Alive by Patrick Hernandez. Today, however, it's Requiem....

Many years ago, my uncle started Totino's Pizza. It's now owned by Pillsbury. It was the worst pizza EVER! After I finished high school and moved away from home, I don't think I ate another pizza for 10 years! Today, I favor Papa John's Pizza - and not just because he's so cute!

I'm jealous! I don't get it here!

I thank each of you for responding. My tantrum is over and I feel a bit better. I still don't understand why someone would have such an overwhelming need to use their phone, even when it is inappropriate, but I guess that's one of life's little mysteries. I wonder if we'll hear from any admitted cell phone addicts...? After all, admitting it is the first step!

Ok, here's your warning. I'm going to rant. I'm at college, waiting for class and I am surrounded by people on cell phones. There's more than two dozen conversations going on around me all at the same time. I'm sitting in a library. The Librarian is having an actual face-to-face conversation but she's louder than everyone else! What is it that's so vital that nobody can put their phone down, much less shut the darn thing off? Are you one of THOSE people, whose phone is now a permanent part of your anatomy? As a people are we so desperately lonely that we can't be left alone for even a moment? We actually have a need to be in constant contact no matter how tenuously? Ironic as it may be, I once owned a telephone answering service. I understand how important a phone can be, but really, in a library? Seriously, do you need to be on the phone texting because you can't talk while class is in session? CLASS IS IN SESSION, shouldn't you be paying attention? I am such an antique that I can remember asking the operator to dial, party lines, and dial phones. Does anyone besides me know that phone NUMBERS used to start with letters? Don't parents teach manners anymore? Isn't it simply common sense to have a modicum of self-control?

I wanna "hang out" with you!

Sex needs to be customized to those involved. Writers can't customize a sex scene for each reader, so it's probably better to stick with romance and perhaps introduce a sexual episode without detailing it. I know when I've read sex scenes in MANY MANY stories, I roll me eyes.

Oh boy, this is one of those words that means so much that it's actually difficult to quantify. Love is an emotion so it cannot be standardized. And then emotions, of course, are experienced uniquely by each person. It may be easier to say what love is not. -imho. Although for me, when I felt love, it was a desire or need to be with him when he wasn't around. It was a sense of pride to be seen in public with him, or perhaps a boastful need to show off my prize. It was a sense of safety and confidence that nearly no matter what I did, it would be accepted. I know now that if I feel worse WITH a given person than without that person, then they have got to go. I've had boyfriends that I used to have to be careful with so I didn't set them off or say too much. Those are the ones to DUMP IMMEDIATELY and RUN away from them! You MUST feel better with them - and actually ARE better for being with them.

Well, I'm certainly a big fan of Harry's. I must admit that I know almost nothing about Twilight - except that the main guys have worked their way into a few of my private thoughts, (cough, cough). The vampire thing just never appealed to me for some reason. And what little I have seen of Twilight stuff, it's to moody and gloomy. Not to mention my aversion to having to kill people in order to stay alive... And it all centers on a female from what I can tell. I'm GAY!

I'm not sure why this is even an issue. Straight men have been using lesbian sex to get their rocks off forever. It just seems natural that straight women would use gay men the way straight men use gay women. People are sexual beings for pete's sake! Sexual orientation, sexual fantasies, and all other emotions exist on a sliding scale. Most everything in life is a degree of intensity, it seems so logical and simple to me.

An interesting poll. I'm not so far behind you, Bob. And the answers that I would LIKE to give are not necessarily the answers that I actually lived. I would have assumed that finding and keeping a lover would have been my number one priority in life. As it turned out my need for financial security trumped my need for love. I've got plenty of financial security, however, I'm paying for it by being in a love-less relationship. Not a bad one, just more like a room mate. The down side is that loneliness often threatens my well being. Sometimes the need to be touched is so overwhelming that there is a physical pain. Now, after decades of near-obsessive exercise, my body is broken and I'm in pain 24/7. Had I known what I would deal with later, I would have given up the 8-pack abs and V-shaped torso. Crushed vertebrae and worn out knees makes doing just about everything painful. I can't even clean my own house. Going out and having fun means making sure my prescription for pain killers is filled. With enough medication and a trip to the chiropractor, I can have a few hours of limping around a mall or hobbling to the movie. If I can sit down, the fun is much more liable to happen.... Standing? Well, that's now my exercise. Oh my young friends, cherish your youth and ability. Revel in the freedoms that you can enjoy. As I type this, if I pause and close me eyes, I can still feel my lithe, muscular body moving on the dance floor. The physical is transmuted into music - my body ceases to exist. I could pirouette (on toe) for 30 minutes if I wanted to with one leg extended straight up in the air beside my head. Or do the splits while leaping over my tallest friend. I could do 20 consecutive 7 or 8 minute miles and then go work out or strip down at the nude beach and swim a few miles. Every nerve ending in my body was a potential erogenous zone unto itself. I could think myself into an orgasm or respond to the slightest caress. Moving between the physical world and the world of sensation was effortless and frequent. I was quite hirsute with a three-foot long braid of hair hanging from my head, and standing naked in the water at the lake, every SINGLE hair on my body danced under the water - my skin was alive with sensation. My ENTIRE being was feeling. If I closed my eyes, the physical world blinked out of existence; all there was, was sensation. The hair on my body was like ten million caresses making love to every nerve ending. Just standing there - naked, motionless in the water, with all that body hair undulating - the world itself made love to me. I miss feeling the sunshine biting my skin. I miss being able to evaporate into my emotions and sensations. Just like humans, the world itself rejects old lovers. The hair has mostly fallen out, the muscles are long gone, the music has stopped but the memories...! Oh my, the memories! Cherish your youth. Relish it. Concentrate on it. Memorize it. Catalog every sensation and emotion. Collect them, those will be your treasures later in life. If I close my eyes, I'm 20 years old again. I'm standing tall, my eyes are bright and clear. And the music is playing. I can dance when I close my eyes. I can see myself whirling around, each of my lovers appearing with each turn I make. My naked muscular, hairy body tickled by and tickling my partners. And I'm smiling. I feel. Oh, I do feel! Joy, contentment, pride, passion, love, unbound ability. I can live when I close my eyes. Answer the poll today, keep the answers for tomorrow. Our needs, abilities, and desires change through life. But under it all, we're trying to create something, something that we think is absolutely vital. My need for financial security drove me well off the path I thought I wanted to follow. Living one life but wanting another is a set up. We're all setting ourselves up for something, make sure you know what it's for.

This is not a hoax. I worked at a major insurance company, building websites. In the three years that I was there, I accepted five promotions, each with a generous salary increase. The company did a major re-organization and my then-current boss was going to become a VP. She warned me that the gal who was going to become my new boss was extremely homophobic. I enrolled in college classes and made some vacation plans. When my new boss called me into her office for a meeting with HER boss, I knew something was up. When she told me that she was forced into letting me go, I thanked her. I explained that everyone in the office had set up a betting pool to see how long it would take her to fire me. I bet on less than a week so I won! She started screaming at me to get the F- out of the building while her boss roared with laughter. As I walked out, I announced to everyone that we had ALL been right about her homophobia being stronger than her managerial skill. She stood in full view of over 100 people, screaming at me to get the hell out. I left while people stood and applauded. (I STOPPED IN A FEW SPOTS TO COLLECT MY WINNINGS.) Less than 6 months later she was demoted to position without any direct reports and no private office. The company also had to hire my replacement - but he makes three times what I did!

Cuba Gooding's character in Come What May. Or Cuba Gooding, himself!

OMG, there are so many! Anything by Cheryl Crow, Sarah McLoughlin, Matalica, Mick jagger, Paula Abdul, Shakira, Christina Aguilera.... Anita Ward's Ring My Bell Sting's Roxanne Lipp's Funkytown

Tipdin is the name of the dragon in the on-going stories I used to tell to my nieces and nephews.

I would be happy if it looked a bit more like this: http://lyndhurst.files.wordpress.com/2009/02/lyndhurst-mansion-front-lawn.jpg

http://detroitiscrap.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/10/brush1.jpg

May I just add, if you have nasty feets, just forget the sandals! No socks with deck shoes works fine.

Believe it or not, SOME gay men actually do NOT put physical beauty as their number one priority. No matter how handsome a bloke is, eventually, looks will go. What will you be left with then? My ass slide down into my thighs. My pecks became breasts. My pitch black beard is snow white. The three foot long braid of hair used to be thick and brown, now, what's left is short, thin, and gray. My super hairy legs are going bald and....and....and.... But my AMAZING personality more than makes up for my maladies... ;-) ...really! I've also learned a few things over the past five or so decades. I still drool over cute boys, however; an older man knows so many things that most younger men just cannot understand or imagine or want to deal with. Of course, just because I'm an old fart doesn't mean I know all there is to know. But I'm confident enough in myself to be able to deal with most situations. I can tell a 25 year old boss to go -F- himself because I have enough education and experience to get another job. (And savings to tide me over until I find the RIGHT job.) I climbed the ladders, did the corporate thing, played the games. I don't need to hurry through life anymore. I don't need to prove my sexual prowess or compete with someone else's. I can spend a day completely alone and not be lonely. I can still enjoy wobbling on the dance floor and not care that everyone is waiting for me to drop dead while they chuckle at the old man trying to be young. I can tell off anyone that needs it and they actually let me since I'm old enough to be their dad or grand dad.... I can take my friends to a fancy dinner or to a theater and not have to worry about paying for it, or what people might think of me being out with my 400 pound friend or my 20 year old flaming friend. I can tell that kid in the grocery store to shut the fluck up - and the parents - and be taken seriously. At 19 there's no way I would have or could have done those things - I wasn't in a position to do any or them. But at 19 or 20, I wouldn't have WANTED to know what I know now. It would have meant that I wouldn't have had the adventures that I had. Gosh, I traveled all over the place and in those days. I could be a trashy whore without worrying about AIDS. Sex was just something we did for fun - just about anyplace and anytime. Now that I've been an AIDS Buddy and held nearly ALL of my friends in my arms while they died, there's no way I could have been a trashy whore after that. I understand the dangers. Had I known that all those years of marathon running and stage dancing would cause near paralysis before I was fifty years old, I wouldn't have don it! Which means I wouldn't have met some really cool people and had some really mind-boggling adventures! Sorry guys, you pups will learn as you age that looks are nice, but there's far more important things to consider. The saying is so true, youth is wasted on the young. But in spite of that, go and do. Just go. Just do. Do everything you can and enjoy as much of life as you dare. It's worth it. I wouldn't change anything. I dated famous models and taught guys how to be strippers. I sang and danced until I would collapsed. I traveled until I ran out of money or road. I love what I've done with me life. Even the colossal screw ups. But I didn't know any better. That's how we learn. When I was 19 or 20, oh my goodness, I was having 2 dozen orgasms a day while scouting for that perfect, flawless guy that would love me EXACTLY the way I wanted to be loved! Oiy. What a dweeb! Talk about the Cinderella syndrome! Certainly it's fun to have a stud for a partner, but just because a guy isn't a super stud, doesn't mean you should cross him of the list of potential mates. Let me tell you, I've met a few guys with bulldog faces and elephant..., well, we needn't get into that. Enjoy your youth, it WILL end.