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    LJH
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Stories posted in this category are works of fiction. Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are created by the authors' imaginations or are used fictitiously. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you. 

Michael Dun - 16. Chapter 16

peter arrives at Mrs Minnaar's Boarding House...

Peter arrived on horseback at Mrs. Minnaar’s boarding house, a day later. Dark rings circled eyes that darted suspiciously about as he enquired if two young Englishman had passed this way.

 

“Several hundred men live here. You surely cannot expect me to remember everyone.” Mrs Minnaar responded with hands on her hips.

 

“Perhaps this will jolt your memory," he dangled a small leather pouch of coins before her.

 

She stared at him for a long, incredulous moment before chastising him for assuming she would take a bribe. “I do not want your money mijneer. Leave a note on the notice board and I am sure some one will come forward with the information you seek. Natal Camp might bring more success.”

 

Natal Camp lay on the outskirts of the main goldfields on a portion of the farm known as Doornfontein. In the early days, before the name changed to Natal Camp, it was known as Meyer’s Camp, in honour of Field Coronet Johannes Meyer who had set up his headquarters there.

 

An open air meeting was taking place and Peter strolled across the veldt, where, without counting, he guessed there could be well over 300 men gathered about a single speaker, petitioning the government to amend certain mining laws. He walked slowly and reservedly through the crowd, and he noticed that every one of the men wore moustaches. He zig- zagged and backtracked, but could not find them. The situation was impossible. He would bever be able to find Michael or Charlie in this sea of faces. There were too many. He gave up and headed back to Mrs. Minnaar’s.

mijneer=Afrikaans for Mister (Mr).
L J Harris
  • Haha 1
Stories posted in this category are works of fiction. Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are created by the authors' imaginations or are used fictitiously. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you. 
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On 01/24/2011 05:50 AM, AnytaSunday said:
I'm really curious how all the pieces will fit together. The short chapters certainly add to the pacing here and add tension! This is a good technique. I like how it's not just the words that matter in your stories, but the layout too! It's amazing psychologically how that affects the reading experience.

 

Thanks for the read!!!

Whenever I set down to write I also wonder how the bloody hell are the pieces going to fit together, this was no exception. I like to write short chapters, but the important thing is that they need to connect to the bigger picture. Inh this tale it's all about action and reaction and I'm gklad you like the pacing...thanks for the read and the comments...really appreciated...
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