Escaping the Pain - 5. Chapter 5

Tap stayed mostly silent as Dane talked but he was appalled, barely holding in the tears that threatened to escape his control. He was shocked and devastated that anyone would hurt this wonderful guy curled up on himself in the seat next to him. Not only was Mr. Kendricks Dane's father but he was much bigger than the slightly built teenager. Tap didn't think Dane was weak but he felt a need to protect him, he couldn't understand why anyone would feel otherwise.

“Dane, you know you need to tell someone, right?” Tap told him gently.

“I told you,” Dane sat up a bit, protesting..

“And I will help in any way that I can but you need to tell someone who can help you legally,” Tap said firmly. Dane shook a little.

“I don't know if I can,” Dane said in a small voice, looking down at his hands where they fidgeted together in his lap.

“What if I went with you? I could tell them what I saw and everything. How your dad treated you at school and the bruises I saw,” Tap offered.

“You would do that?” Dane was surprised and turned hopeful eyes on Tap. "Go with me?"

“Of course. I told you I am going to be there for you, however you need me,” Tap assured him, reaching over to gently squeeze his forearm.

“Thank you,” Dane whispered before breaking down in tears again. He had felt so alone when his mom was in the hospital. She had always been his confidant, his friend. His dad had always been at work or busy with his own things when Dane was a kid. Sure, Dane had had some guy friends growing up but he had always been quiet and shy. Those few friends he'd had didn't last long after he came out. None of them would say hi to him even if they were alone, being dropped completely by everyone he thought cared had really messed up his self-esteem. Dane was deathly afraid of what Tap would do if he found out he was gay but he was so starved for someone to care about him that he was willing to risk it again.

Tap turned sideways in his seat behind the steering wheel and gently gathered Dane up in a hug. “You really don't need to thank me, but you're welcome in any case,” they broke apart and Tap took a deep breath, “do you want...” The warning bell rang in the building making Dane look at his watch.

“Oh man, I have to go. I have Geography this period and I can't miss the test Ms. Wessis is giving us, I'm hovering on the line between an A and B since I didn't have that class in my last school. I have an exam in Econ next period too.”

“You need to go in to the police or social services or something, Dane,” Tap was firm.

“I know Tap, but today isn't good, I have to get really good grades so I can graduate with honors. I might have a scholarship to Massachusetts State but only if I graduate with a good gpa. I can't afford to miss these tests,” Dane said.

“What about after school?”

“You have practice, you can't miss that or you won't play in the Homecoming game. You know that,” Dane protested.

“You know you are much more important than any homecoming game,” Tap crossed his arms over his chest and looked at Dane sternly. He couldn’t believe that Dane would think he would put some game over him.

“I know, Tap, but please, can't we just do this tomorrow?” Dane pleaded with him. Those big eyes made Tap melt a bit but he was persistent.

“What about after my practice? You could wait for me and I’ll drive you,” Tap suggested.

“I have to go home or my dad will freak out. What if he comes here or calls the police before you get out of practice? If he calls the police and reports me as a runaway I won't look as credible. Not to mention risking just pissing him off. I can't take another beating, Tap. I can’t. I just have to do what he says for one more day. I'll go with you tomorrow, I promise,” Dane and Tap were out of the car and walking back toward the front of the classroom building. Dane bit his lip and looked beseechingly at Tap, wanting him to just agree, “I'll do it, I promise I will go with you, but I just need a night to get used to the idea. This will change everything, I’m scared,”

Tap felt horrible that Dane had to live with these fears. Parents were supposed to love and guide their kids, “I’m sorry Dane. I’ve been pushing for you to what I want you to and not thinking about how you feel about all of this. Do you think you will you be safe?” Tap was even more concerned about Dane going home now.

“I think so. He hasn't talked to me since the funeral.” Dane bit his lip, even if his dad was a bastard that still hurt. “I'll make dinner and then stay in my room all night,”

“Okay, well, I guess I'll just have to be happy with that,” Tap sighed. “Do you want me to pick you up?”

“Would you? My dad leaves by 8 am at the latest. You can come any time after that,”

“I'll be there,” Tap wanted to squeeze Dane's shoulder like he normally did but stopped himself in time and just lightly patted it and his arm instead, almost a caress. “I'll see you later. I'm going to go run an errand before my class, good luck on your tests!”

“Thanks, Tap,” Dane went in the main building. He walked alone down the rapidly emptying halls and went into his Geography class. No one paid any attention to him as he sat at his desk. The relief about someone knowing and the fear he had of telling other people, adult people tomorrow, warred in him and made it hard for him to concentrate but he had to focus on his tests so that he could get good enough grades to get into a good school. His last 2 classes of the day went fast and Dane carried his backpack by its straps to his locker to load up his school books. He was waiting for the bus to open its doors when he heard running footsteps coming toward him and his name being called in a loud voice.

“Hey Dane! I'm glad I caught you,” Tap ran up still in his gym clothes, a pair of loose shorts and a tank top. “I've got something for you,” Grabbing Dane's hand he pulled him away from the other students. “Here, I want you to take this,” He pressed a small black cell phone into Dane's right hand.

“I can't take your phone, Tap,” Dane tried to give it back to Tap but he refused to take it.

“It's not mine, it's yours. I picked it up while you were in class,” Tap said.

“You shouldn't have done that,” Dane didn’t want to accept it, feeling bad his friend had spent money on him, “really, I'll be okay,”

“Then you won't need it. It’s not a big deal, it wasn’t a lot of money, I mean, I just bought it at Wal-Mart. It's just one of those $20 pre-paid phones; I’ve spent more on food at the movies.”

“Still!”

“Still nothing,” Tap said firmly, crossing his arms over his chest, “I wanted to do it. I put in my cell phone number and my home number. They are #1 and #2 on the speed dial, so all you have to do is push a button. I've got your number too. I made sure that it's charged and ready to go. All you have to do is hide that in your pocket,” Dane looked stubbornly at the phone, shaking his head.

“Please, Dane. I can't stand to think of you alone in that house with him and no way to let me know if you're in trouble. I've got my phone in my pocket and I'll have it with me all night. You have to take this. I can't take it back anyhow and I don't need it.” Tap was pleading with Dane now, hoping to make him see reason.

“Alright, fine. But I'm paying you back the $20 when I can,”

Tap sighed in relief, “Sure, fine, okay. Whatever you want. Just promise you'll call me if you need me. I know where you live and I am only 25 minutes from you if you call, 20 if I don’t encounter any cops,” Tap grinned, his eyes twinkling mischievously.

Dane really was touched that Tap was trying so hard to protect him. It made him feel good, well, and a little embarrassed but he’d get over that. He could see Tap had arranged all this so he couldn’t refuse. Resigned, and just a little bit pleased, he made the promise and then got on the bus. Tap ran off, waving his phone before putting it back in his pocket. He was going to be a little late for practice but he ran the laps the coach gave him without complaining. He felt much better now.

Dane walked in the door to his house quietly. His dad wasn't home so Dane quickly tidied up the house and put a stew mix into a pot on the stove. He covered it and set it on low so it would be ready when his dad got home no matter what time that way. He grabbed some snacks and his backpack and went up to his room to do his homework. Dane was nervous so he pulled out the bag he hid under some stuff in his closet and checked the contents. It held 2 sets of clothes, sweats, deodorant, a toothbrush and paste, and a comb. He checked the little pocket and found the small stash of cash still there. It was his emergency bag; he'd had it ready for a while, packing it after his dad's beatings had become fairly regular. Dane had known at some point he was going to have to do something. This way he was prepared if he had to leave in a hurry.

Putting it all back in the bag Dane sat down on his bed for a minute, staring at the picture of his mom he kept hidden between his mattresses. A tear ran down his cheek. He had been missing his mom for a long time, even before she died but now that he was planning to turn in his dad he felt really alone. He would have no one. Somewhere deep inside Dane had always thought that his dad might stop hitting him, that maybe it was just all the stress of what was happening that caused him to do it. But he had to face facts, his dad hated him and he needed to get away from him before he really hurt him.

Dane touched his mom’s face, wishing he could touch her just one more time. He closed his eyes, imagining doing just that, suppressing the sob that threatened to erupt. His chest and throat hurt with the sounds he refused to make for long minutes while he struggled for control. Finally the struggle to breathe eased and he opened his eyes, taking one last look at the picture before tucking it gently into the middle of his bag.

Dane didn’t want to get into trouble so he sat down to do his homework while he waited. He made sure to listen hard the whole time so Dane was up and off his bed as soon as he heard his dad's Saab pull into the drive. Running down the stairs he quickly dished up a big bowl of stew and put a few slices of bread on a plate and put them on the table in front of his dad's chair, along with a beer.

“About damn time you did something right around here,” his dad grumbled when he came in. Dane sat down with a tiny bowl of stew, burning his mouth in his haste to eat so he could be excused.

“I have some studying for my Geography class I would like to do, may I be excused, sir?” he asked in a quiet polite voice when his bowl was empty.

“Fine, but change into some decent clothing, we have to go visit your grandmother tonight after I'm finished,” Alan ordered. He wasn’t even looking at his son, afraid that if he did his temper would erupt. He had managed to shove down his rage over his sneaky wife’s will but seeing her spawn who didn’t deserve it was trying his very fragile control.

“Yes, sir.” Dane escaped to his room, dressing before sitting down carefully on his bed to study. He put his new cell phone in the pocket of his Dockers and opened his book, trying to focus on the countries that made up the continent of South America.

Tap was home from practice and eating a late dinner his mom had put in the fridge for him. His older brother was sitting at the table keeping him company. “So, have you told him yet?” Brett asked him.

Tap coughed and choked on his bite of potatoes. “No I haven't told him!” he said indignantly.

“Why not?” Brett raised his eyebrow. “C’mon, are you really that worried about what others will think? You’re almost done with high school, college is pretty much a lock, you’re bigger than most of the kids in your school so any schmucks that give you a hard time aren’t going to try anything physical,”

Tap looked down at his plate and pushed the corn around with the tines of his fork, “Look, it's just complicated, okay?” he sighed.

“So, explain it to me. How is it complicated?” Brett was relentless.

“I can't tell you why, I promised. I want to but it's just not the right time. I'll tell him, I will, but not now.” Brett opened his mouth and Tap set his fork down with another long sigh, waiting. His brother was incapable of letting this go, having been on his case for the last few days. He was saved by the ringing of his cell phone.

“Hello, hello?” Tap answered his phone frantically when he saw the name on the caller id.

“Dane? Is that you? Hello, Dane?”

There was a whimper and then a weak voice, “Tap? Help...”

“Dane? Dane? Where are you?” There wasn't an answer but he could hear labored breathing in the phone, “Dane, answer me so I can help you.”

“Road to Observatory... please Tap...” Dane whimpered into the phone again, little sounds of pain making Tap panic.

“Dane, I'm coming, stay there, I'm coming!” Tap grabbed his keys out of his backpack by the door and yelled at his brother over his shoulder. “Call 911, Brett, please. I have to go; Dane's been hurt in some kind of an accident on the road to the Observatory. Call Mom and Dad too, please! I've gotta go!”

Tap ran to his car with his mind consumed by worry. He was in sweats and a t-shirt, so frantic to get to Dane that he forgot to grab his shoes. The Observatory was only a few miles past the turn off to his house and he sped along the curvy back road at a reckless speed, not slowing down until he saw the headlights shining crazily over the road. He slammed on his brakes and stopped in the middle of the road with his flashers signaling for the emergency personnel he hoped would be there soon.

Ignoring the pain of the sharp rocks and branches under his feet Tap ran toward the red Saab that he had seen that one time in school. It was upside down and wedged into a small stand of trees down a small slope. Bits and pieces were strewn on the hillside and Tap couldn’t see Dane through the missing side window.

“Dane!” Tap yelled in panic. “Dane!” He ran around the passenger side of the car oblivious to the glass shards and came to a sudden halt, falling down to his knees. “No, oh no, Dane...” Tap whispered at the sight of the small teenager laying half out of the car through the shattered driver's side window. He was lying still, too still with blood all over his head and face. His left arm lay almost behind him, obviously broken and his right was curled across his chest, like he was trying to hug himself. The black cell phone lay below his lax hand where he must have dropped it after making that one miraculous call.

Tap crept forward, the blood on the leaves and ground soaking through his clothes to feel slick and wet against his skin but he had to touch Dane, he had to know. He shuddered at the sight of Dane’s face covered in blood and scratches and had to force himself to check for a pulse. He put his fingers on that still warm neck and then closed his eyes, sobbing. He was kneeling there, stroking Dane’s hair and crying brokenly when the police, fire truck, and ambulance showed up a few minutes later.