Gemini - 9. Confrontations

An early Happy New Year to everyone out there!

“... so he said that I would see things much differently if my son was gay. What an idiot! I told him that my son was raised properly and he surely wasn’t gay. And if he were, I would teach him a lesson on morals that he would never forget.”

I froze; the handle in my hand, the door halfway open. The room got silent and I forced my legs to move. Tentatively I entered. Josh’s parents and Philip turned to look at me. I cleared my throat and sat down on Josh’s seat while Philip finished putting the food on the table.

Josh’s father went on telling all the details about some discussion with gay-right activists that he’d had that day while I picked at my food. I had lost my appetite after what he had said, but forced myself to eat and pretended to listen to him while Josh’s mother nodded occasionally at his ramblings.

I don’t even remember what was served, just that it was something with meat. All I wanted was to get out of this room. At least he didn’t include me in his talk; in fact, he was so self-centered and busy with retelling his great triumph over those faggots, as he called them, that he completely forgot about my existence. The things he said were incredibly repetitive, as if he just couldn’t get enough of hearing himself talk about this topic.

I didn’t know if I should laugh or cry. He was so obsessed with this topic, I almost felt sorry for him. Didn’t he have anything else to worry about? The words he said made him sound like some redneck, and not like a successful and educated man. Then I thought of Josh and how often he had to endure this, and that put me in a somber mood.

“If it was up to me, all those perverts would be in jail where they belong,” he finally concluded his speech, and started to focus on his plate. A picture of what would happen if Josh’s father ever found out about him flashed into my head and made me cringe. I looked down to my plate, trying to hide any facial expressions that might have given away what I felt. I didn’t know if anything showed on my face, but right then I was absolutely unsure about how to look and act.

Closing my eyes, I heard Josh’s father working the meat, cutting it, and then shoving a piece into his mouth. He had chewed several times before I was sure that I had my face fully under control. I looked up; over my already empty plate and across the room. By the door that led to the kitchen stood Philip, leaning against the frame and staring at me intently.

I froze and couldn’t tear my eyes away from him. He stared back at me for several seconds, before he gave me a weak smile, shrugged and turned around to vanish in the kitchen. I panicked. Had I just given something away? Did he see my reaction to the words of Josh’s father? I wanted to get up and run, but couldn’t. I forced myself to sit still and wait until Josh’s parents finished their dessert.

As soon as I could, I got up and went to Josh’s room. I could still see Philip before me, staring at me. The thought that he would find out about Josh being gay by looking at his straight twin’s reaction to an anti-gay comment seemed so ironic, I’d have laughed if it wasn’t so terrifying. I forced myself to breathe calmly. Just one wrong reaction sure wouldn’t have given away the secret. I dropped on Josh’s bed and leaned my back against the headboard.

What if it had and Philip assumed something? If this went wrong and Philip told Josh’s parents, I would never be able to forgive myself. I tried to think of a way out of this. In the worst case, if they really thought he was gay, we could show them that we were twins. I would tell Josh’s parents that I was gay, but Josh was straight. Maybe Sarah could even pretend to be his girlfriend? It would suck because then they would probably ban him from having any contact with me.

If I really had to, I would do it, I resolved. We could still meet secretly. I hoped it would never come to that, though. I was still lost in thoughts when there was a knock and seconds later, Philip opened the door. I wasn’t sure how to react to him, so I just looked at him expectantly.

“Uhm,” he started. “I’m about to leave for the day.”

Why would he tell me that? I indicated for him to go on. He looked over his shoulder and then he stepped into the room and closed the door behind him. “Look Josh. I know you don’t like me at all. I try to be nice to you, but you don’t make it easy and I had a lot of crappy days this year.”

I knit my brows. This was absolutely not what I had expected. He paused for a moment and then sat down on the couch. “Anyway, I just wanted to let you know, that it’s okay if you have other political beliefs than your father. I saw your reaction at dinner. It’s the 21st century, it’s understandable if you don’t agree with him. Don’t worry about me saying anything. You might be a pain in the ass, a major one at times, but I wouldn’t do that.”

So he thought that I, or Josh for that matter, was disagreeing with Mr. Adams? Nothing about being gay? I relaxed and let out a sigh of relief, as I slowly nodded. “Thanks Philip.” I even managed to give him a smile. The things Josh had said about him just didn’t fit He seemed to be quite alright.

He made to get up but I stopped him. “Hey Philip. I have no idea why you come into my room so often, but could you like… at least wait for a reply before you enter? I’m not a kid anymore and I’d like to have my privacy. I’m pretty sure you can understand that, you’re not that old.” I grinned at him. “It’s very annoying when people don’t respect that.”

He looked at me for a few seconds, then nodded. “Alright.”

“Alright? Just like that?” I asked suspiciously.

He shrugged. “Look, I was used to just coming in and I never thought about it, because your parents do the same. I can understand what you’re saying, I just never thought of it and you’ve never really said anything.”

I raised an eyebrow at that. “I never said anything about that before?”

He gave me a sour look. “Well, at least we have never talked about it like this before. You have never liked me and you make that pretty clear with how you act towards me. I can understand that you don’t want me in your life but it’s my job to look after you. We’ve had some confrontations about you demanding that I leave you alone, but you were never like this; friendly. You never just asked me to knock.”

I looked back at him, unsure how to respond. Was I making a mistake with this? I shrugged and waited from him to say something.

He grinned at me. “What’s happening, Josh. Are you growing up?”

If only he knew. I had to end this conversation before I made a mistake. “No, well, I don’t know. Maybe we can agree that we don’t particularly like each other but that we can try not to make each other’s lives miserable?”

I smiled at him, trying to give him a small peace offering, and he smiled back at me. “Alright,” he said, and nodded. He got up and left my room while I leaned back to reflect on everything that had happened during the day. Josh’s life at school was miserable, and his parents were far worse than what I had expected. Philip though, he was weird. He had been completely different from what Josh had told me. Maybe they had just started off on the wrong foot? Maybe Philip wasn’t that bad and Josh had just shut him out from the very beginning because he worked for his parents?

I wanted to be Josh for a while longer. It wasn’t like I enjoyed it all that much, but trading places for longer than just a day would definitely help him and it might give me the chance to improve things for him. In a way, it was also exciting to pretend to be him and I definitely wanted to meet Parker.

My phone rang just like I had expected. Josh and I wouldn’t be able to trade back places tonight. I suggested to keep up the role reversal for a few more days and he seemed really enthusiastic about it.

“Alright, it’s a deal!” I said and couldn’t stop myself from grinning. I was so glad that he liked my life and that he was happy. I couldn’t help teasing him before we hung up. “Oh and don’t perv on my brothers too much! I don’t want them to think I’m gay.”

“I would never do that,” he replied, clearly sounding insulted.

I wanted to hit myself. That definitely came across wrong. I fought with myself for a few seconds trying to find the right words to play it down. There was nothing I could think of, though. “I’m sorry,” I finally said. “I was just teasing you.”

“It’s okay,” he mumbled and we said our goodbyes and hung up.

This day had been crazy. I had to get my mind off of all the things that had happened, so I wouldn’t go insane. It was time for a well deserved break. I started Josh’s computer and searched for the one thing I’d never really seen before: Porn. I know, it might sound weird, being almost sixteen and never having seen anything, but if you’re sharing one computer with your whole family, there is not much opportunity.

When Josh had shown me his computer, he had explained how to make sure nobody could find out what pages I had visited. He had a knowing grin on his face when he did that. I had blushed a little, but well, I was just a boy, and so was he, so I guess it was alright.

It was kind of weird, though. It took me a while to find anything good, and there was lots of crazy stuff before I got there. I decided it was a nice thing, but I could do very well without it. That didn’t stop me from using it though. Ok, honestly now: there definitely was some pretty hot stuff out there. However, in the end I still found myself thinking of Sarah.

Well past midnight, I shut down his computer, undressed, brushed my teeth and went to bed. I slipped under the covers and spread out. His bed was so soft and comfortable and, most of all, big, it felt like a great reward after a day like this one. I let myself sink into the mattress and closed my eyes, feeling warm, cushy and also kind of safe.

♊

I left the house and pulled out my phone to call Josh. Impatiently I waited for him to pick up.

“Hey Josh. Did you have a good night?” I asked cheerily as he answered the call.

“Oh fuck you!” he groaned. “My whole body hurts and I feel like I slept on stone, not in a bed.”

“Do you want to trade back places today before you go to the fam?” I asked worriedly.

“Nah, it’s okay. I will survive, and now that I’m walking to school, I already feel better,” he replied.

“Are you sure?” I asked him. “You don’t have to do the farm work if you don’t want to. We can meet in the park at lunch.”

He paused for a moment, as if he was thinking about it, but then he declined. “I will be alright. It’s tough, but I’m getting used to it. I’m kind of looking forward to being at your school and it would be unfair to take only the good half of the deal.”

“If you think so,” I said. “By the way, there is something I forgot to mention yesterday. Philip is so different from what I thought he would be like.”

“Really? In what way?” he asked surprised.

I thought for a moment. How should I put this? Josh seemed to have been really unfriendly to Philip, but I didn’t want to throw that into his face. “I don’t know. He seems nice, friendly really.” I said. I told him what had happened the evening before. “Maybe he’s not so bad. I guess it’s worth the effort of being nice to him, don’t you think?”

“You might be right,” he said noncommittally. “I might have been an asshole to him, I don’t know. I just never liked him and he probably responded accordingly. I’ll see if I can be nicer to him, but don’t go all friendly on him, because I don’t know if I will do the same thing after we trade back.”

“That’s okay, I’ll be careful,” I agreed. “Anyway, gotta go, have a good day and don’t overdo it on the farm.”

“Yup, and you, too. Be careful at school,” he said and ended the call.

I walked the rest of the way to Josh’s school and went to his first lesson. Everything was just like the day before, especially the feeling of being invisible. In the classes, I sometimes didn’t know a reply or what I said was way below the level Josh could have expressed it on, but nobody seemed to mind. The teachers probably assumed that Josh was just having a bad week and his classmates mostly just didn’t care about him.

I still tried my best and made notes about everything that was said in class. Also, I had actually managed to solve the math problems correctly, most of them anyway, and felt proud about it. Of course I couldn’t let anyone know just how much that meant to me, but it made me smile and it was a great moment in a dull school day.

Everything went fine until lunch. I had packed sandwiches, so I didn’t need to risk food poisoning in the canteen. Sitting on some bench in the schoolyard, I ate and observed my surrounding. I had just finished my first sandwich when I noticed Parker strolling in my direction. I got up and grabbed my backpack without looking in his direction.

He didn’t catch up until I had reached the complex where all the science classes were, and gone around the corner. Close to the building was a hedge and it was kind of secluded, so there was nobody in sight; the perfect situation for him to corner me. Time for the show to begin. Bracing myself, I turned around and grinned at him.

“Hey Parker, nice day, isn’t it?”

He looked at me puzzled. “I don’t care what you think about the weather,” he said and gave me a threatening look as he stepped up to me.

“Dude, don’t get into my face,” I said firmly and made a step towards him. “I have no fucking clue what your problem is, but I’m tired of it. You really wanna start a fight on the schoolyard? Go ahead, and right after that we will have a nice little talk with the administration.”

He came even closer to me and spoke with a scary voice. “Once they get you out of the hospital maybe.”

“C’mon Parker. Don’t throw out empty threats. That would make a very nice charge for aggravated assault. I’m pretty sure my old man is going to be excited to learn how his son ended up in hospital. You know who Mr. Adams is, right?”

He looked at me, almost baffled at how different I was acting. Then, however, he grabbed me by my shoulders and pushed me backwards. I had hoped standing up to him would work. He gave me another shove. I tensed up my muscles and threw my hands backwards, just before I crashed against the wall behind me. I was lucky and my quick reaction had prevented me from hitting my head against the stone. I felt a little pain in my hands and my body, but it wasn’t any worse than falling down during a rough game of basketball or soccer.

He took another step towards me and drew back his fist. He did it so dramatically slow, it was almost funny. It was more a thing he did for intimidation than for actual harm. Still, if I waited for him to hit me, it would hurt bad. Without even thinking, I took a step towards him, grabbed him by the hips and pulled him towards me. In a swift movement I rammed my knee right into his crotch. He didn’t see or expect it. Letting out a gasp, he doubled over and fell to the ground.

My heart was beating alarmingly fast as I knelt down next to him. I could almost feel the pain myself as I looked at him, and even felt sorry, but pushed those feeling aside. I couldn’t go back and I couldn’t afford showing weakness either. My voice was icecold as I spoke to him.

“Now Parker, did you really think I went back here so you could beat me up? This is the last time you go after me. You ever try hitting me again, you’ll face charges. Hey, I might even scream rape and claim you forced me to suck you off. What would your parents say about a charge for sexual assault? What would they say if it was because of a boy? I can make up a lot of things if I want to. Who are they more likely to believe? Me, the religious straight A student that would never cause any problems, or you, some kid who is nothing but trouble? I could bribe some kid around here, too, to back up my story. What do you think?”

I got up and nudged his back with my foot. “Have a nice day, asshole, and remember my words. Don’t you dare to try me.” Parker just groaned in response, still curled up on the ground.

As soon as I was around the corner, I started shaking. What had gotten into me? This was so unlike me. I knew how to protect myself if I had to, but I felt like I had just totally overdone it. I sat down on a bench and rested my head in my hands, replaying the scenario in my head.

My reaction to him had been extreme, I realized, but then I thought of Josh and what Parker had put him through. I hadn’t had much choice in the situation I had placed myself in. I had to protect myself and I didn’t want Parker to ever lay hands on Josh again. I would never go through with what I had threatened, but if he ever went after Josh, or me, again, Ian and Conrad would explain things to him.

They weren’t thugs or anything, but when someone hurt me, they took their gloves off. If it actually came to that, I’d have to tell them about Josh and me being twins, but I doubted that it would go that far. I was pretty sure that Parker was a playground punk, not a real thug. He only picked on the weak ones like Josh. His strength was fueled by the fear his victims felt. Now it was up to Josh to act at least somewhat self-confident while Parker was around. I hoped he would be able to do that. If he did, Parker wouldn’t try to go after him any soon.

That was at least how I read the situation. Still, somehow I couldn’t get rid of the feeling that this wasn’t over yet.

I hope you enjoyed reading it!
So what's Philip's deal? And was it really a good idea to do that to Parker?
I'm really looking forward to the reviews.