Standing In Shadows - 28. Chapter 28

SIS 28

Waking up I looked down to see Trouble prancing around the bottom of the bed looking over the edge. Groaning, I sat up and rubbed the tiredness of my eyes. Seeing me awake she let out a bark, but kept pacing the edge of the bed. Standing I slid into a pair of shorts and scooped her into my arms and walked her out of the bedroom and down the narrow hallway to the front door. I glanced over at the table to see Mom sipping a cup of coffee. She gave me a smile as I opened the door and walked down the steep metal stairs to the parking lot below. The backside of the building was the only place close by that had a patch of grass. I shivered when my toes buried into the cold morning dew on the grass as I placed Trouble on the ground. She quickly started sniffing in a tiny circle before she squatted.

“Good girl Trouble,” I said smiling after she stood back up and began sniffing the ground again.

When I heard tires squeal I turned around to see a two toned red older model truck backing up to turn into the public parking lot. I glanced down at Trouble to make sure she wasn’t scared before I smiled.

“Fucker!” Keith bellowed from the passenger seat as the windows rolled down. “You made me drop my breakfast burrito.”

“Five second rule, bitch,” Andy countered as he got out of the truck.

“Not in this shithole truck,” Keith said as he tossed the burrito out of the window. Seeing my two best friends made the stress of the last few days instantly wash away.

“Dude, how are we going to get chicks if you’re always walking around half naked?” Andy asked as they walked across the narrow access street between the parking lot and the private parking of the apartment.

“I don’t think I have anything to do with it,” I countered, holding my left fist out for him to punch it.

“So it’s true,” Keith said and I saw them both eyeing my cast frowning. “How long do you have to wear that?”

“Long enough, I might get in around the championship,” I said shrugging not really knowing how long I’d have to wear the cast, but I’d be nowhere near ready to play when the season gets under way.

“That sucks man,” Andy said and I shrugged as Trouble squatted again. “Our senior year, we should kick his ass good.”

“How do you know what happened anyway?” I asked, but I already knew the answer. Nothing like this is kept from spreading for very long.

“First thing Dad told me when I got in last night,” Keith answered, “made it sound like you died, I cried a little.”

“Pansy,” Andy joked, shoving Keith’s shoulder. Being an offensive lineman Keith didn’t move, even though Andy put a lot of effort behind it. It was never a fair fight when Keith wanted to wrestle unless Andy and I teamed up against him.

“I guess you heard about us losing the house too,” I said frowning as I glanced up at the rusting metal door leading to our apartment.

“Yeah,” Andy said, “it won’t last long your parents will get back on their feet.”

“I hope so,” I added and then I looked down at Trouble. She was snapping at a honey bee as it worked over the small white clover. I bent down and picked her up shuddering when her cold damp paws slid against my chest.

“What are you doing with a little ankle biter like that?” Andy asked, reaching over he wiggled his fingers in front of her face. I smirked when she lunged forward trying to grab hold of them.

“Jenny found a box of them and I took this one home,” I answered, rolling my eyes when they both looked at me with wide eyes, their mouths slightly open. They knew what happened last year before our Junior Prom, they had made fun of me for it for months after while I worked at the store and they had nothing to do.

“You hitting Jenny?” Keith asked and when I felt my face flush they both started snickering.

“I didn’t think she’d forgive your ass after that night,” Andy said, crossing his arms.

“I’m not doing anything with Jenny,” I said, “but we are friends, don’t be reminding her about prom I saw what she can do to a man’s nose.”

“What?” Keith asked, his eyes narrow.

“She punched Cj last night,” I answered shrugging as I tried to hold on to a struggling Trouble. Not wanting her to be on the ground without her leash I let her lay on my cast.

“Damn I would have liked to have seen that,” Keith said, seemingly trying to picture it.

“Do you think your Momma has breakfast fixed?” Andy asked, glancing up at the door. Back when Mom had the store and they rolled out of bed early enough they would drop in for a plate of breakfast for free if they promised to help out around the store. Since they hung out a lot there with me during the day, they thought it was a fair trade.

“Didn’t you just get some food? I asked, shaking my head as I turned towards the stairs. They followed me up to the door and I held it open for them. I felt my stomach turn as they took in the small living room and then the kitchen. Mom was hovering over the stove in the kitchen, the smell of bacon cooking in the skillet. When she looked over her shoulder at us she gave us a wide smile.

“Well good morning boys,” she said, checking the bacon before walking around the counter. They stepped into the room far enough for me to close the door. They took her hug and kiss as graciously as they could before glancing back at me smirking. I reached up and hit them both in the back of the head when Mom turned her back to them.

“I saw that,” Mom said, shaking her head.

“They needed it,” I countered putting Trouble down. “They came to mooch some breakfast.”

“And to see you, Cora,” Andy added as he leaned on the counter that separated the kitchen from the living room. Mom had asked them to call her Cora a long time ago and after a few years they finally started to.

“Where’s Dad this morning?” I asked as I put Trouble down. She pranced into the kitchen following the smell of cooking bacon. I followed her to the kitchen table and sat down sighing. Andy and Keith were the only two people that visited me at home that I didn’t worry about being embarrassed around. Here though in town in this old apartment I couldn’t help feeling bad as they took in the two small rooms. They both looked uncomfortable, even though I knew they were trying to hide it for my benefit.

“Faculty meeting,” Mom answered as she started piling the bacon onto a plate. Then she started on scrambling some eggs. We have always had a small kitchen, but Mom wasn’t used to cooking in this one and had to search the drawers for what she needed. I hoped we didn’t live here long enough to know where she put everything. “Oh and I forgot to tell you last night, I start my new job today.”

“Where?” I asked, noticing Andy and Keith smiling as I got up and hugged her from behind.

“Dr. Pflum, Jenny’s Veterinarian,” Mom answered as I broke the hug. “I go in at Noon so Molly can show me around more.”

“That’s great Mom,” I said hoping my voice didn’t crack. Being worried about Mom finding work so she would stop blaming herself had bothered me more than having to live here.

“I want you to be sure to thank Jenny, Dr. Pflum thinks highly of her and Jenny recommended me,” Mom said and I turned to see Keith elbow Andy. I felt my stomach drop slightly. They hadn’t believed me when I said there wasn’t anything between Jenny and me.

“I will,” I said glaring at the two of them as they came around the counter and sat at the table. Mom pulled the biscuits out of the oven and then put everything on the table.

“Oh and Clinton called again this morning while you were asleep,” Mom said with her back turned as she grabbed the clean plates from the cabinet. I glanced at Keith and Andy to see them looking at me, their eyebrows cocked. I would have laughed at their similar expressions if I didn’t know the look. It only meant that I would have to explain myself later.

“Thanks Mom,” I said and I nodded towards the food for them to go first. Being polite they didn’t dive right in and stack their plates like they typically would, but waited until Mom and I had some food on our plates. Mom always thought our large appetites were amusing.

“So how was camp, guys?” Mom asked as she took a small bite of bacon.

“Sucked,” Keith said as I stood and poured three glasses of milk. “All boring fundamental stuff I don’t know why I let Dad talk me into it.”

“Yeah and none of the weights and exercise stuff had been updated for years, I didn’t even know how to work most of it,” Andy added, causing Keith to laugh.

“Well I’m glad you two are back now that Corey has a free summer,” Mom said, reaching over and patting me on the shoulder. “Too bad he’s already broken his arm, so take it easy on him.”

“We will,” Andy said as they both tried to smile innocently, but with their mouths full they looked more like chipmunks.

“I better go get ready, I don’t want to be late,” Mom said and I glanced at the clock to see that it was just nine. Mom always liked to arrive a little early, but this was also her way of excusing herself so I wouldn’t hang around the house. “Corey, be sure to shut Trouble up into your room, you know your father.”

“Take her with us,” Andy said as he stood and washed his plate then his empty glass of milk, and put them into the drainer. Keith tried to hand his to him, but he shouldered past him.

“I don’t know,” I said remembering Clinton. He had never called, but knowing he’s called twice had me a little worried. I didn’t want to rush them off either, but I knew I would have to if I wanted to visit him.

“Come on dude,” Keith said as he finally stood to wash his own dirty dishes. I smiled and pushed my plate towards him and then tapped my finger on my cast. Mom shot me an amused look then rolled her eyes as Keith grabbed my dirty dishes and washed them as well.

“I hate that you boys insist on cleaning up,” Mom sighed watching Keith hover over the small kitchen sink. He looked too large to be in a kitchen this small and I wondered what Dad looked like at the kitchen sink washing dishes, if he ever would.

“They usually made me do it after you left the room,” I lied leaning back in the chair. They both shot me a glare, but Mom already saw through the lie and smacked me on the shoulder.

“Be nice,” she said as she stood and kissed me on the top of the head. “Hope to see you two soon.”

“You will,” Andy and Keith said at the same time causing Mom to laugh as she walked around us and the counter to the small living room. When she disappeared down the dark hallway Andy turned back to me ready to ask about Clinton, but I just shook my head and stood pushing my chair in. I looked down to see that Trouble was chewing on Keith’s shoe strings. He hadn’t noticed or didn’t care, but I turned and quickly walked down the hallway and into my room and grabbed her bag of food and her bowl and put it all into a plastic bag. Then I changed into a clean pair of light blue basketball shorts and a t-shirt. After putting on some socks and my old sneakers I walked out to see them waiting for me by the door.

“Where we goin?” I asked and they both smirked as I bent down and picked up Trouble.

“Got your diaper bag, Mommy?” Andy asked and I kicked out at him, but he jumped out of the way as Keith opened the door.

“Are dogs allowed at the field?” Keith asked, turning to look at me.

“We’re not allowed at the field yet,” I answered, “Dad about had a fit when I went, I think he wanted to bitch to the ground people for the grass being dead.”

“We better stay away from there then,” Andy said, “we can go to the old farm.”

“Yeah,” I said shrugging and then I followed them out the door closing it behind me. I sat between them on the bench seat of the old truck. Trouble instantly found a plastic lid and started chewing on it. I grimaced wondering how long it had been in here. Not wanting to talk, I played around with the radio. They both knew me well enough to know that when I didn’t want to talk, I wouldn’t.

“How many guys went to camp?” I asked turning the radio off after not finding a song I liked.

“We were the only two losers from our school,” Keith answered, rolling his eyes.

“Do you think anyone will be up for a break in tonight?” Andy asked and I grimaced. I had fun at the only one I went to, but I didn’t think Dad would let me again. He was just letting me get it out of my system the last time.

“I got to break in,” I said shrugging, “I think the cops broke a party up after I left.”

“Fuck,” Keith said, “we have missed everything.”

“Yeah, won’t be smart to try if they broke one up,” Andy said frowning, “Amber will probably have a party or Cj.”

“You go to Cj’s parties?” I asked, glancing at him.

“Yeah,” Andy answered, nudging his shoulder into mine, “only because him and Amber are the only two people that really do.”

“You never really told me about going to his,” I said, “have you been to one of his stupid boat parties?”

“We’re not cool enough for that,” Keith answered snorting, “it’s really just him and girls so he can show off for them.”

“I figured,” I added as Keith pulled into the field and drove close to the large shade trees next to the river. Andy took hold of Trouble as she squirmed trying to see out of the window. He pushed the door open and put her down after he stepped out. I followed him trying not to dump any of the trash from the truck. The truck was really Andy’s but we all took turns driving, when we had all first gotten our licenses this had been the first vehicle we got to drive. It had started out as a race to the driver’s side door, but now the person that happens to walk there gets handed the keys to drive.

The sun was already intensely hot so I walked to the shade tree and poured some food out for Trouble on the ground. Then I walked down to the river and scooped up some water into her bowl and put it down beside her. After sniffing around Trouble started eating and I turned to see Andy and Keith looking up at me.

“Something is bothering him,” Andy said, turning to Keith who nodded and smiled.

“Think he’ll tell us what it is?” Keith asked and Andy shrugged his shoulders.

“I don’t know, Keith, do you think we should ask him?” Andy asked and I rolled my eyes and leaned back against the uneven bark of the tree not wanting to remember that I was just here yesterday with Greg. I’d known Keith and Andy a lot longer, but Greg was still the safer option with what I would have to explain to them.

“Doesn’t look too promising to me,” Keith answered and they both looked over at me at the same time. I grabbed a handful of grass and threw it at them. Trouble gave an excited yelp and darted around us before turning back to her food.

“Shut up losers,” I said and they turned back to one another.

“Told you he wouldn’t tell us,” Andy said, shoving Keith’s shoulder then shied away when Keith went to retaliate. I knew they were about to get into a wrestling match so I sat back and watched. Not having me to help him, Andy wouldn't last long unless he was able to get up and start running, but as he went to stand up Keith grabbed his shoulder and pulled him into a headlock.

“Get out of that,” Keith hissed rubbing his knuckles into Andy’s scalp. Andy always kept his hair buzzed short. Keith was starting to grow his out a little and it was beginning to curl. He probably will be getting it cut before Dad’s camp started, the summer heat and long hair didn’t mix and Dad hated long hair.

“Don’t make me resort to desperate measures,” Andy grunted, swinging out with his arms trying to look around for something to grab hold of.

“You got nothin,” Keith countered, pulling his arms tighter. Then all of a sudden Andy’s fist struck out and hit Keith in the crotch. Keith groaned and let go of Andy and I noticed Andy’s face was red with a sheen of sweat, like he had been running instead of stuck in a headlock.

“I warned you,” Andy said breathing heavily, “I don’t have gimp arm’s back up, I had to.”

“You’re dead to me,” Keith groaned as he rolled onto his back and looked up at the tree.

“You’ll get hungry and need a ride to lunch and I’ll be your best friend again,” Andy said, punching Keith in the stomach and turning to look at me.

“Am I your best friend?” I asked plucking a blade of grass and twirling it between my fingers.

“Yeah,” Keith answered sitting up. “Always have been us three.”

“To the end,” Andy said smiling, “I bet Keith goes first he’s too fond of bacon.”

“Your breaths are numbered after I get feeling back in my nuts,” Keith said glaring at Andy, who shrugged and looked over at me.

“No matter what?” I asked, feeling my heart rate quicken and my palms begin to sweat.

“What’s going on Corey?” Keith asked and for the first time I heard true and honest worry in his voice. We had always had open discussions, but nothing of any true and real importance. Nothing of this scale anyway.

“Is this about that Clinton dude?” Andy asked, “Are you being bullied by them two, we’ll go kick their asses right now.”

“Like this very second,” Keith added nodding his head.

“Hunt them down like a backsliding whore in church when the rent is late,” Andy offered. Keith did a double take before he busted out laughing.

“It’s more about me really,” I said smiling despite my nerves. I wished now that I had skipped breakfast, but I hadn’t really eaten anything of substance for awhile and I woke up hungry.

“Are you ok?” Andy asked, “We saw those bruises on your chest.”

“No,” I said wishing they would just let me talk before I lost my nerve. “I guess you want to know why someone like Clinton is calling me.”

“Are you dealing?” Keith asked and Andy shot him a glare.

“God, no,” I answered rolling my eyes. “Really what is here besides coffee?”

“What are you trying to tell us then man, you’re scaring me,” Keith said and Andy nodded his head.

“We got some bail money saved up,” Andy said, “I knew one of us would need it someday.”

“And we know your food allergies,” Keith added, causing Andy to snicker.

“I don’t have any food allergies,” I said and Keith waved his hand.

“There you go,” Keith said, but I could still see the tension in both of them.

“Best friends, right, swear it,” I said leaning forward to look at them both. “Swear nothing changes no matter what I say.”

“I swear,” Keith said, his shoulders square, he seemed to be preparing himself for what I had to say.

“To the end, dude,” Andy added, unlike Keith his dark brown eyes were wide and worried, but they both gave me what I wanted and I couldn’t back out of it now. Not after I made them swear.

“Ok,” I said, glancing down at Trouble that was drinking from her water bowl. I turned back to them, my heart in my throat. I wondered if I could physically form the words that I needed to even tell them. If my voice would be strong enough for them to hear me. It would have been easier if they had guessed and called me out on it, I wouldn’t have denied it. They were my best friends and Jenny had known and they know me better than she does.

“The suspense is killing me,” Keith said after I fell silent.

“I’m gay,” I said and watched as they looked at each other then back to me. They knew from the way I was acting that I wasn’t joking. If I had been, I would have already given it away. I couldn’t play jokes like this without cracking a smile or laughing.

“Are you really?” Andy asked and I nodded my head.

“Do they make gay quarterbacks?” Keith asked, turning to Andy.

“Dude we have the best set up now,” Andy said, slapping Keith on the shoulder.

“What the hell do you mean?” I asked, feeling my stomach turn. I had expected a reaction that was easier to judge, but I was at least comforted by them not just standing and walking away.

“You’ve always been the better looking one of all this,” Andy answered, waving his hand in a circle between us. “Girls like you, but you always took their attention away from us, and girls like gay guys twice as much.”

“What are you trying to say Andy?” Keith asked, crossing his arms.

“I’m saying, dumbass, that every time he shoots one down, we get hotter and hotter,” Andy answered, turning to look at me.

“I thought we had that plan worked out already, it’s just most of them thought we were assholes,” Keith countered, turning to look at me. “Are you really gay?”

“Yeah,” I answered, my stomach turning as Keith looked at me. “I told you because what I’m about to do, I’ll need some friends.”

“What are you about to do?” Keith asked, his arms still crossed over his broad chest. His dark blue eyes were still looking me over. I had never seen him look this serious unless he was trying to keep me from getting sacked on the football field or when Dad was lighting in on him for when he did miss a block.

“I’m about to out myself around Cj,” I said and they both looked at me like I was an idiot.

“What the fuck for?” Andy asked, getting up on his knees.

“Because Cj won’t let Clinton out of his sight for two seconds and I’ve…” I started and then felt my face flush. I looked down at my cast, unable to tell them that I’ve already started a relationship with someone. I didn’t know if they were ready for something like that.

“Oh fuck, he’s already, you’re already?” Keith stammered and I looked up at him, his mouth was hanging open.

“I’m with Clinton, sort of,” I answered, “but don’t tell anyone about him, I don’t want him to be outed like that or anything.”

“This is a lot to take in,” Andy said, rubbing his hand through his hair studying me. “I never would have thought it, since you’re such a stud with the girls.”

“I’m not really,” I said shrugging, “only Jenny stayed with me after I got boring.”

“Does she know?” Andy asked and I nodded.

“She called me out on it one night,” I answered, “like she already had me figured out, I couldn’t really deny it.”

“How do you know?” Keith asked, “I mean how did it come to this?”

“I’ve always sort of knew, even before I knew what it was,” I answered sighing, “I’ve just never really wanted anyone else to know before.”

“Is Clinton worth all that?” Andy asked, “I mean your Dad will know, fuck the whole town and school will.”

“I know,” I answered my voice cracking slightly, “and I don’t know if he’s worth it, but I need to know I have you two. If I lost you guys I don’t know how...”

“We know, you’ll be one lost fucker,” Keith said, turning to Andy.

“Do we have his back, Keith?” Andy asked grimacing slightly, “In a non-sexual, best friend sort of way.”

“If you put it that way Andy, yes, yes we do,” Keith answered turning back to me, “nothing against you Corey, you’re just not our type.”

“And remember, you’re the bait and we’re the fishermen,” Andy said holding out his fist, “deal?”

“Deal,” I said and I reached out and knocked my fist against his.

“Now let’s go get us a burger and a milkshake,” Keith said as he helped me to my feet and they both surprised me when they wrapped me into a hug. “We could never turn our backs on you.”

“That’s a double truth now,” Andy added and I busted out laughing as I broke the hug and smacked him on the back of the head.

“When are the gay jokes going to stop?” I asked, shaking my head.

“Probably when we run out of them,” Andy answered as I picked Trouble up, who had fallen asleep under the shade tree and dumped her water bowl and stuffed it into the plastic bag. Then I followed them back to the truck knowing that everything could come crashing down around me, but I’d at least have Jenny and my two best friends standing beside me if it did.