Crave - 12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

“Kel was my lover, Merrick. If things had turned out differently, he would have been my husband.”

Jenson’s words didn’t really surprise Merrick. After what he had witnessed at the house, and the loving way the vampire had said his goodbyes at the funeral, he’d guessed the brindle-haired man meant more to Jenson than a mere acquaintance. Sadness briefly clouded the vampire’s features before clearing again. If Merrick hadn’t been looking directly at him, he would have missed it.

The last few days had been difficult. He had wanted to go to Jenson, and make sure he was ok, but Audra’s words kept coming back to him. “I know you want to be here for him, and I love you for it, but Jenson isn’t ready to explain this to you. He’s not strong enough... can’t you see that?” So he’d waited.

It was hard for him to watch Jenson hide behind his business-like demeanour. He knew from his father that the Council had offered to postpone their departure, but the vampire had refused. Looking at the man during yesterday’s final briefing, you wouldn’t have guessed he had held his dying lover in his arms, little more than 24 hours before. He wore his duty like a shield. He could almost see Jenson locking the hurt away, deep inside himself.

Today, Merrick finally had enough, and against Audra’s advice, he cornered the stubborn man in the conference room. He wanted answers, yes, but he also sensed Jenson needed to talk about this… needed to talk about Kel. The thought of Jenson loving someone else hurt, but locking up memories would do his friend no good, and it wasn’t fair to Kel. Whoever Kel had been, he deserved to be more than a memory no one ever talked about.

“Okay,” he said patting the bed beside him. “Tell me about him. Please?”

Jenson sat on the bunk and clasped his hands between his knees, looking at them, instead of the man beside him. “What do you want to know?”

“Everything?” Merrick placed a hand on the vampire’s shoulder. “But you can start with how you two met, and go from there.”

With a sigh, Jenson started talking….

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“Kel’s full name was Mihenkel Varro. He was the son of Jorrah Varro, aide to the Ambassador from the Terezín system. I was 24, and still in training when Kel literally crashed into my life. I had just driven my rover through the gates of the compound when someone crashed into me. I was livid. I had just bought the damned thing.

“A young man with brindle hair and striking brown eyes hopped out of the vehicle and hurried over, full of apologies. I was ready to light into the idiot who hit my new toy, but how could I stay angry in the face of such contrition? Luckily, there wasn’t much damage, since neither of us was driving very fast. I tried to let him off the hook, but he still felt badly for causing the accident, and offered to buy me lunch as a way to make it up to me.

“I told him I was a vampire and drank blood, so food was unnecessary. I hadn’t seen him before, and wasn’t sure how much he knew about us. His obvious shock made me chuckle. He was mortified and kept apologizing for offending me. I felt terrible for making him so uncomfortable, and introduced myself to try to relieve his tension. We chatted for a few minutes while we stood by our vehicles. He was very proud to tell me he’d been invited to shadow Ambassador Pehr, the newly appointed one from the planet Terezin.

“The Terezín people were fairly new to the vampire world. A handful of their citizens had married vampires over the last century, but only a few actually lived on the planet. I’d never had the opportunity to meet a Terezínian, although my father had spoken highly of their previous Ambassador. My curiosity took over, and I used the opportunity to study the man in front of me. Kel’s hair, although an unusual shade, looked soft and thick. It reminded me of the manes of lions I had seen in videos of Earth. There were raised bony ridges that started at his temples and met in a “v” above his nose. His body was slim, but from his form fitting clothing, I could see he had definition in his chest and arms. In short, he was an attractive young man. My studies that year kept me very busy, and it had been a while since I’d taken a lover. Naturally, the thought of a beautiful male had my body immediately interested. His blush, when he noticed my scrutiny, was quite charming. The scent of his blood was sweet and spicy and only added to his appeal.

“After parking the rovers, I took him to the common room so he could find something to eat. We ended up spending the rest of the afternoon together. I took him on a tour of the compound, and answered his questions about vampire history and culture. I discovered he was 23, and had just completed his schooling in inter-planetary relations. Ambassador Pehr’s invitation had come at a perfect time for him. He’d done some traveling with his father, but this was his first time so far away from his home world.

“We spent a lot of time together over the next few weeks. When I wasn’t in training, and he wasn’t working with the Ambassador, we would meet up to take a drive, swim in the lake, or just talk. I showed him around the city and introduced him to foods from many different species. There were a lot of eating establishments that catered to visitors. I still remember the first time he tried Panthelr jellies. The look on his face as the heat finally hit… it still makes me smile. He was always willing to try anything. His favorite was a little place that specialized in Earth cuisine, a few blocks from the entrance of the compound. Although I still wanted him, I was enjoying the friendship we had developed. I got the impression from our conversations that he wasn’t very experienced, and I didn’t want to rush him. I didn’t even kiss him for almost a month.

“I felt like he knew me better than anyone. We talked about everything. He thought it was terrible that vampires stayed in school until our forties when there was so much of the universe to explore. He loved that I wanted to become an envoy, and after we’d been together for a little over six months, we started talking about where we could travel… together.

“We’d been dating for about 2 years when he first brought up wanting to be changed. I was surprised. He had never mentioned the desire to become a vampire before, even though I had fed from him a few times by then. We loved each other, but being changed… that was big. There was also the issue of toxic blood to consider.

“It’s fairly well known to other species that a vampire’s blood is unstable and toxic until sometime between the ages of 25 and 30. Our scientists have told me this instability is caused by a lack of a certain compound in our blood. This stabilizing compound takes time to increase to acceptable levels in our bodies. It’s the same compound that’s suppressed if we’re in distress. I think it’s a natural defence mechanism to prevent our blood being taken by force, or when we’re too young.

“It took over a year for Kel to convince me he loved me enough to want centuries with me. I already knew I wanted him. If my blood was stable I could turn him, if that’s what he still wanted. I decided to surprise him with my decision by having a blood toxicity test done, and giving him the results on the same night I proposed.

“He was so happy, he practically tackled me. He alternated between laughter and kisses, and tears. My parents adored Kel, so I knew they would be happy for us. His father was an unknown, but he didn’t seem to object to our relationship. Jorrah Varro was a stoic man who didn’t express his feelings freely. Kel told me he couldn’t remember the last time his father told him he loved him.

“We decided I would turn Kel first, and then we would tell everyone we were engaged. Like humans, it was unusual for vampires to marry until after we’re out of school, so I knew there would be some eyebrows raised, but neither of us wanted to wait the decade it would take for me to graduate.

“When we made love that night, it felt like our connection strengthened with each thrust into his body. Every touch of his fingertips over my skin inflamed me. My fangs had already descended, and it was a test of will not to bite him too early. Even though I had fed from him before, blood needed to be exchanged in the proper order. When he came, he triggered my release. Every cell in my body screamed that it was time. I used my fangs to give myself a small cut on my wrist… just enough that he could get the proper amount of blood. His smile, as he moved my wrist to his mouth, lit up his entire face. The last thing he said before placing his lips on me, was how much he loved me.

“I knew something was wrong only seconds later. He groaned, and his eyes shot up to mine, shocked. I pulled my wrist away, and my blood dripped onto his chest. He was clearly in pain and gasped out my name. I tried to ask him what was wrong. He could only grab his chest, and tell me how badly it hurt. I didn’t know what was going on.

“Suddenly his back arched and he screamed. His body started to thrash, and his eyes rolled to the back of his head. In a panic, I yelled for help as I tried to keep Kel still. It was no use. In this state he was strong enough to buck me off of him. I was living in my parents’ home at the time, so mother and father heard the commotion, and ran into my room. I heard my mother’s shocked gasp behind me, and my father telling someone to call for the doctor. He pulled me away from Kel and tried to examine him. He asked me what happened and was shocked when I told him we were trying to turn Kel. I don’t think I have ever seen him so angry with me.

“The doctor and a couple of medics finally arrived a few minutes later, and I answered their questions while watching anxiously from a few feet away. I must have been in shock because I didn’t even realize I was still naked until my mother handed me my clothing. My hands shook so badly I could barely dress myself. Then as suddenly as they started, Kel’s convulsions stopped.

“I was terrified. I thought he had died. I tried to find out what was going on, but no one would answer me as they moved him to a hover board and rushed out the door. I ran after them. There was no room in the medical vehicle, no matter how much I argued. My father finally convinced me to go with him. When we arrived there was already a bustle of activity as they whisked Kel away from me. He was so still… so pale.

“The nurse told me someone would be out as soon as possible to give me an update, and then hurried through the door. When my mother pulled me into a chair, the shock finally wore off and the tears came. I loved him so much. The thought of losing Kel was unthinkable. I tried to contact his father several times, and left messages for him before finally giving up. It seemed like hours before someone finally came out to talk to me.

“The doctor approached me almost an hour later. It felt as though he’d ripped my world apart when he told me that although Kel was alive, he was catatonic. Something had gone wrong and our combined blood had turned toxic, destroying many of his brain cells. The cruel irony was that the exchange did work… in part. I did change Kel, and he would live for centuries like we had dreamed, but he would never know me or himself again. I was devastated. What kind of life did I sentence Kel to?

“When Kel’s father finally arrived a few hours later, he took the news quietly, although he did glare at me through the entire explanation. He told me Kel was my responsibility now… his son died when I decided to try to change him. Jorrah Varro left Anglia the next day and never returned.

“When we were sure Kel was stable, I took him home. I took care of him myself for years before I relented, and allowed my father to hire care providers so I could go back to school. When I graduated I immediately started envoy training. It took me a long time but I built my house, and had the left wing specially designed for Kel. I brought him home as soon as it was ready.

“After what happened, I spent hundreds of hours researching… trying to find out what went wrong. What the doctors I’ve hired have discovered is, until a certain age, Terezínian blood and Anglian blood are incompatible. It’s a combination of compounds and cells that interact badly with one another. Even though my blood was stable, I was still young, so I didn’t have enough mature stabilizing compounds in my system. Terezínians have cells in their blood that allow them to withstand the extremely cold temperatures of their planet. These cells continue to be generated until they die. There needs to be a certain amount of each present for an exchange between our two species to be effective. Neither of our systems would have been mature enough.

“Over the years, I traveled for work, but always came home… to Kel. He never improved, but would occasionally fly into violent rages that lasted for a few minutes before becoming catatonic again. Sometimes a decade would pass before his next episode. I hired doctors to try to develop a cure for Kel. With all of our advancements in medicine, I couldn’t believe there was no way to heal him. None of the treatments seemed to help. Finally about twenty years ago one of the therapies seemed to trigger… something. It caused a rage episode. The doctors thought that if they could trigger such an event, then they must be on the right track. Unfortunately, the treatments never seemed to do more than cause attacks on the staff… all except one. It was the first time they saw a spike in Kel’s brain activity without an attack.

“Two days ago, they were going to try again with a more concentrated dosage. The plan was to inject small amounts, slowly, so they wouldn’t overload his system. Doctor MacAllister was excited when he gave Kel the first injection and saw an immediate increase in brain function.

“When I got news about the trouble on Alect-3, I knew I had to advise the team, but I didn’t want to leave Kel. That was why I had everyone come to me. The doctor told me they had just injected the second dose when Kel grabbed the med spray and injected the entire 7 day treatment directly into his heart. The shock overloaded his body. There was nothing they could do to stop the damage, and he died of a massive stroke.”

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Jenson took a shuddering breath as he concluded his story. Merrick could see how hard it had been for the vampire to keep his composure. He hadn’t moved an inch, and his eyes hadn’t met Merrick’s once during the entire time he relived his life with Kel. Although Merrick understood, it hurt to see his friend looking so alone.

“I’m so sorry, Jenson,” Merrick’s voice was thick with tears.

He pulled the vampire into his arms. Jenson sat stiffly for a few moments before melting into the embrace. Merrick felt tears wet his shirt as his friend silently cried for what was lost. After several minutes, he realized the other man had fallen into an exhausted sleep. He lay on the bunk, taking Jenson down with him. Gently stroking the sleeping man’s back, he thought about everything his friend had been through.

“Don’t worry, J,” he whispered. “I’ll take care of you.”