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- 11/10/2016
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Stories posted in this category are works of fiction. Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are created by the authors' imaginations or are used fictitiously. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you.
2016 - Fall - Blindsided / The Forgotten Entry
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you.
2016 - Fall - Blindsided / The Forgotten Entry
His Father's Son - 1. Chapter 1
Brian pulled his Audi into the parking lot on the east side of his office building. He had fifteen minutes. Reasonably sure that no one would see him, he began the breathing exercises he hoped would calm his mind. It was really stupid how he needed this to act normal.
Every morning for the past three months, it had been like this. The reason? One Nathaniel Graves. The man had started working at Runyan Associates, and from day one Brian had felt this immediate attraction to him. Not that Nathaniel, or Nate as he preferred, was encouraging. Brian didn't think the guy noticed him at all. This fixation was all on Brian, who thought Nathaniel to be unbearably cute.
It was disconcerting to say the least. In the five years he'd worked at Runyan, Brian had found coworkers attractive, but he never looked at another male coworker in that way. First of all, he didn't dare. His boss, Carl Runyan, was very close friends with his father, and Brian was terrified that word would get back to him. Second, although relationships weren't discouraged, he had the feeling they were largely frowned upon. Third, he had no idea what the rules were for a same-sex relationship, and he could never be fully out, so that was not an option, thanks to his father, ever.
A knock on the window startled him out of his thoughts. Nate. Had fifteen minutes gone by already? Swallowing deeply, Brian pasted what he thought to be a friendly smile on his face, and stepped out of the car.
“Hey, you worried about that meeting?”
Meeting? Brian faltered a bit before he caught on. Oh. “Just a bit. It's a big client.”
“From what I hear, you’ll do fine. This is the first one I'll be sitting in on.”
Brian didn't know that. His palms went sweaty and his heart rate ticked up. He turned to look up at a smiling Nathaniel who was suddenly entirely too close to him. Close enough that Brian breathed in the musk and coffee scent, and got a whiff of his shampoo.
“Yeah?” Brilliant ... Incapable of sentences now. But that smile made his stomach flip.
Nathaniel didn't seem to notice and carried on, stepping ahead to hold the door open for Brian.
“Yes, and I'm excited. Not only is it my first pro meeting, but I get to see how it gets done by the master, Brian Foster, himself. Everyone’s talking about it, but I'm actually going to witness it. In. Person.” He stopped when he noticed Brian’s frown. “What?”
Brian smiled for real this time and shook his head. “See you upstairs.”
He turned quickly and headed for the elevators, leaving a confused Nathaniel behind. He was glad he found out now that Nate would be at the meeting—much better than being surprised. The man’s enthusiasm was catching though, as Brian felt a renewed energy for the presentation.
Two hours later, Nate watched Brian head to the executive office conference room to meet with the shortstop, Robinson Dunn, whom he knew Brian had been chasing for a while. Runyan Associates was one of a very few sport agency companies. They housed just twelve sport agents to represent the National Football League( NFL), Major League Baseball (MLB), and the Professional Golf Association (PGA). With the hiring of Nate, that brought them to thirteen and added an interest for the National Hockey League (NHL).
The company was successful, having negotiated a combined $2.4 billion in active contracts and endorsements. In five years Brian had close to $65 million in active contracts and was well on his way to becoming a rising star. Right now he was focused on getting Robinson Dunn on his roster as a client.
“Gentlemen,” Brian greeted the room, walking directly to Dunn and shaking his hand. After introducing Nate, and acquainting himself with everyone else, they settled in for the pitch.
Two hours, one signed contract, six handshakes, and a lot of back patting later, Dunn walked out happy and Brian was one client happier.
“Foster, Graves, stay back a minute would you?” Carl Runyan’s voice stayed the two men, who looked questioningly at each other.
The doors closed and Carl turned to them.
“What did you think, Graves?”
“I ... It was a great pitch, sir. Mr. Foster asked all the right questions, and told our client what he needed without sounding aggressive and pushy. I liked that he put the client’s needs first, and I think Mr. Dunn appreciated that he wasn't being schmoozed. I'm glad that you asked me to sit in, sir. I think I learned a lot ….” Realizing that he might be talking a lot, Nate snapped his mouth closed.
Carl Runyan chuckled. “I like your enthusiasm.” He turned to Brian before continuing,
“I want you to take him with you when you broker the endorsements. Just so he gets a feel for how we do things.” Turning back to Nate, he slapped a hand on his shoulder. “Take notes. I look forward to meeting your first client.” With that he walked out of the room.
Nate knew the training wheels would have to come off at some point. He was already talking with a scout about Phil Delaria. He probably wasn't going to rise very high in the draft, but Nate thought Delaria might benefit with him as an agent. Still, Runyan’s comment had left him feeling a little daunted.
Conscious of movement behind him, he turned to Brian. “I meant it, man. That was a great meeting. I can't wait to see more of you in action.”
Brian seemed to wince, uttering a 'thank you' without really looking at Nate.
Sensing he was being dismissed, Nate nodded and turned to leave. He's a jerk … I'm crushing on a total jerk.
“Nathaniel.”
Brian's voice stopped him, and he turned with his hand on the knob.
“You want to grab lunch? I … we can go over some … points.”
Nate, in spite of his earlier recriminations, smiled wide. “Sure, and it's Nate. There’s this new place that opened up. Lola’s. I heard it's good and at this time there won't be many people. I can be ready in … sorry.” He apologized, noticing Brian’s raised eyebrow.
Brian waved away the apology with a smirk. “Are you always so … eager?” The words made Brian flush, but Nate hardly noticed; he was sporting a red hue of his own.
“No, I'm … You … Not always,” he stuttered.
“We’ll take my car. Meet you in fifteen.”
Nate walked away cursing himself. Idiot … Could you be more obvious? The office was definitely not the place to feel Brian out, even though he was a hundred percent sure the man was gay. More than once Nate had caught him looking in a more than friendly way, holding his eye a little too long. And God, did he want to lose himself in those honeyed eyes. But he’d decided that Brian was just shy. It had been three months though, and in spite of Nate's subtle flirting, still nothing. That may change today he hoped as he walked straight to the parking lot.
Brian sat in the conference room and wondered what he had just done. It was absolutely not necessary to take Nathaniel, Nate, to lunch, but he was doing so anyway. A friendship was a good compromise, right? Nothing wrong with being friends—that he could handle. He pushed away from the desk and got ready to go, ignoring the voice that was calling him a liar, telling him that he wanted much more than friendship from the tall, dark-haired man.
Lunch was just the beginning. There were invitations for drinks after work a few times and then a client dinner that turned into a late, late night of longing looks and things still left unsaid. Then there was a barbecue at a friend of Nate's, golf outings, and Saturday breakfasts.
They were finishing yet another dinner at Brian’s after an afternoon hike, when Nate got unusually quiet.
“You okay?” Brian asked, just as quietly.
Nate looked up and held his eyes. “I'm not the only one feeling this, am I?”
“Feeling what?”
“C’mon, Bri,” Nate said, suddenly agitated. He followed Brian, who had grabbed his dish and headed for the kitchen. “Feeling what? You can't tell me it hasn't felt like we've been dating. That you don't feel this intense—” Nate paused, gesturing between them with his hands “—whatever this is going on between us for the past few weeks. We just haven't put a name to it, and I can't for the life of me figure out why.”
“Because we can't ... I can't. There's work.” Brian turned his back so Nate wouldn't see through him. “This is hard for me. I can't offer you more than friendship, Nate. I can't.”
"Why, Brian? Why is it so hard? Talk to me. I have thought about being with you since I first laid eyes on you.”
Brian groaned. “Why are you pushing this so hard? I just can't do this.”
Nate wrapped his fingers around a taut bicep, and gently turned Brian around to face him.
“Tell me again why we can't be more than friends, when I know we're feeling the same thing.” Pushing back until Brian was resting against the counter, he used his knee to spread Brian's legs and leaned into his hips.
“Nate ….” Brian gasped. The rest was lost as Nate's lips claimed his in a firm kiss.
“Tell me.” Nate kissed the corners of Brian's mouth and trailed heated kisses down his throat.
“Stop!” Brian rasped. “I can't think when you do that.” Pushing Nate off and seeking distance he wrapped his arms around himself.
“You're right, ok. I do feel it too.”
“There's a but,” Nate cut in.
“But, I can't be out. Not at work. I'm not even out to anyone, really.” He risked a look at Nate, searching his face, which remained unreadable. “But, I like you. I just can't risk it and it's not fair to you.”
“Hey.” Hearing the hurt in Brian's voice, Nate used his finger to tip Brian's chin up. “Why don't we clean up and we can talk about what's fair or not fair to me after.”
They did the dishes in silence, each lost in his own thoughts. Brian wishing he were less of a coward, and Nate hoping he wasn't losing Brian before he even had him.
The night turned out better than either of them could have imagined. With a little prodding, Brian started talking about himself while Nate listened with an arm placed protectively around him, a finger idly stroking his skin. The feeling helped Brian relax into telling Nate what was really holding him back.
Brian was raised in a small town, where everyone knew everyone, the kids all grew up together and they all attended the same Catholic Church. His mother taught at the Catholic high school and his father, Harvey, was an accountant who also did the church's finances. He had a younger brother, Kurt, who was currently serving two years in prison for assaulting an officer while under the influence of drugs, as well as a charge for soliciting a prostitute. It wasn’t his first offense. Kurt always struggled with one form of addiction or another. Heaven forbid that after Kurt’s first run-in with drugs, their parents’ friends should think any less of them.
The lie the family told this time was that Kurt had had a successful stint in rehab and had gotten himself a job working in the place that saved him. He was pursuing a career in counseling because of his experience. It was a lie so well worn that Brian often believed it himself. The neighbors and church congregation all tut-tutted and bemoaned the insidious evil of drugs, but were thankful that God was working his will in Kurt.
Such bullshit. The uncomfortable truth was, it was their parents fault. Their father was a bully when he really had no reason to be. In all fairness the two boys were relatively good kids. But their father had exploited Kurt’s weaknesses and appearance to belittle him every chance he got. There was endless criticism—hair too long, clothing not right, too soft, not tough enough. Kurt didn't fight back, and over time he just lost himself in the next fix or bottle, and eventually women. Weak. Falling prey to drugs and drink. Weak. Sins of the flesh. Weak. It had been that way all the time. Their father never hit them, but sometimes Brian almost wished he had. The mental anguish was much, much worse. His father held them to impossible standards. Brian took solace in his books and he played sports so his father was a bit more lenient with him—but just a bit. It was never enough, because Brian wasn't the one scoring the winning goals. Brian was not a 4.0 student.
There was the time he tried dating one of the good neighbor girls, but that just made him more sure he was gay, so he broke it off. To his father, Brian couldn't seem to hold on to a girl. A poor example to Kurt. Weak. A weak boy was a weak man. Imagine telling him he would rather hold on to a guy.
When the Spencers, who were regulars at church, revealed their teenage son came out to them, it provided Harvey an opportunity to further humiliate his sons. He sat Brian and Kurt down and demanded of them if they had had any dealings with that boy. They were warned that what the Spencers were doing, supporting their gay son’s openness, flew in the face of common decency, and violated traditional family values. Brian had squirmed uncomfortably from all the judgment and the heavy implication that being honest about one's orientation was just another form of weakness. The irony of being lectured on family values and morality by their father was not lost on the brothers. Harvey would take off twice a year for a week at a time, claiming it was for work. They had suspected he was having an affair, but there was no way to prove it. They just knew that an accountant rarely needed to travel that often.
Their mother, Claire, cowered in his father's presence and never said a word in support of her sons. Not that she was ever emotionally available to them either.
Brian had been away at college and was convinced that it got worse for Kurt when he went away. The guilt that he hadn't been able to save his brother was another thing eating at him. Their father had been determined to shape them into tough alpha men, as everything they did was a reflection on him. Kurt just wasn't the type. Neither was Brian, but he now had a career in the world of sports, influenced by wanting to please his father. He had also been reasonably sure that the job had been offered to him because of his father’s friendship with his boss, but Runyan had assured him all Harvey did was recommend him.
Brian visited Kurt every other week. He kept the connection with his brother partly because he felt responsible, and he was also helping him plan for a future outside of jail—away from their father. Kurt was the only one who knew Brian was gay and understood why, at twenty-eight, he was still afraid to come out. Yet it was the one thing they argued over. Kurt thought it was time Brian manned up. Brian didn't think he could live with the disappointment and shame of his parents and family. There was no way he was ready to trust his father knowing he was gay.
He didn't know why he felt this responsibility to his parents. Why wanting his father's respect meant anything to him. To keep the image of a happy family? Neither of them had any say in his life now, but he still felt a spark when his father spoke proudly about him. The knowledge that he was a source of pride for them and he earned them bragging rights was difficult for him to let go of. Brian was still the child who would do anything to hear a kind word from his father. Harvey’s own father had disowned him, having apparently caught Harvey in a compromising situation. There was an argument, and the family remained tightlipped on what had happened for sure, but the father-son relationship remained void even after Harvey’s marriage. Sometimes Brian caught a glimpse of how that affected his father. So, in a misguided effort not to allow history to repeat itself, he kept his personal feelings personal.
Which was unlike Nate, who told him how open he was with his friends and family, and was the baby out of five kids whose coming out was a non-event.
His mother actually called him the next day to ask him if he had in fact said ‘gay,' because no one was really sure, since he announced it over a noisy Sunday dinner between mashed potatoes and steamed corn. This was followed by texts of varying wishes and sex advice. He didn't tell people at work, but if they asked, he was prepared to tell them the truth. No one had asked yet. However, he had told Carl during his interview only because he wanted to know the company's stance. Carl had assured him that the company respected the rights of everyone, and diversity among the employees, their partners, and customers was wholly supported.
They lay on the couch leaning into each other, letting what they had learned sink in. Nate looked at him with such tenderness, Brian thought he would break. Nate also had Brian wanting something more—something permanent and that scared him. No one had made him want to be open before. He heard the distant whisper of his father mocking him for how weak he was. Falling openly for a man. Being with a man. He pushed that away.
“You know,” Nate said into the silence. “You are your own man now. You've accomplished a lot and can be proud of what you've done. I understand why you don't want to disappoint your dad, but you don't owe him. I'm not just saying this for me, but you won't ever be happy if you're still trying to be the guy you think your father wants.”
Brian sighed. “I know. When I say it out loud it sounds ridiculous. And you're right, it's just easier said than done.”
"I have an idea.”
“Should I be worried?” Brian asked, ready to change the subject, and turning so he was facing Nate fully.
“No,” Nate replied, dropping a kiss on Brian's upturned mouth. “Things are about to get really busy at work. How about we play it like we've been, no pressure, and when it settles down, we revisit where we are. It gives you time to figure out what you want.”
“What about what you want?”
The knowledge of Brian's insecurity didn't bring any real relief to Nate. He was even more worried that wanting him was not enough to bring Brian out of his comfort zone.
“I know what I want, Brian. I also know that I won't be satisfied just being your friend in public or in private. I’m not going to be all PDA at work because my personal life is private. The more I get to know you, the more I want to get to know you. If you decide you can't live out of the closet, I'm not going to be able to climb in with you.”
“Is that an ultimatum?” Brian asked, panicked.
“I don't mean it to be.” Nate kissed the side of his head. “I want you. All of you and I won't do it halfway. Can you be okay with that?”
“I kind of have to be, don't I?” Brian said softly. “I don't want to lose you.”
“I'll be here. But it will be you who decides for how long.”
In the weeks that followed, both men were finding it almost difficult to make time for each other. But they did, and Brian slowly found the effort was worth it. Nate had this calming effect on him. There were no sleepovers, but they met for breakfasts, and late lunches and dinners. Brian was happy sharing the mundane things with Nate. He was smiling more, and Nate, there was no denying that Nate looked just as happy. Maybe, just maybe, he could do this.
Brian began to wonder why he was holding himself back. His brother and Nate were right. He was a grown man and it was about time he started living his life for him. His stomach still turned at the thought of his parents, but the thought of being without Nate was even worse. He knew what he had to do. He knew it all along; it just took him until now to come to terms with his decision. He pulled out his laptop and got busy.
“Hey,” he greeted Nate in his office thirty minutes later.
“Hey, you. Were we supposed to do lunch? I'm sorry I forgot.” Nate's eyes narrowed as Brian stopped him by placing fingers over his mouth.
“Bri?” he questioned, looking over Brian’s shoulder.
“It's okay. Did I hear you brought Delaria to the agency?”
That brought a huge smile to Nate's face. “I was going to call you, I just got caught up in paperwork.”
“I'm so proud of you, babe. We can celebrate tonight. My place?”
“Okay, but what the fuck have you done with Brian. Who are you right now?” Nate was laughing and staring.
Grinning, Brian placed the ticket he'd been holding in front of Nate. “I have to smooth over some ruffled feathers this week in Houston. Carl’s going to be there for a day to meet with the owners, but I figured you could meet me after and make it a mini vacation. You think you can move things around?”
Still stunned, Nate regarded Brian warily. “I could, but what aren't you telling me?”
“Just that I don't want us stressed about our future. I want you, Nate. I want to be with you all the way. This will be sort of a celebration of that.” He stalked out of the office leaving behind a gaping Nate.
Four days later, the men were in their room getting ready for dinner in a swanky downtown restaurant. Brian strode out of the shower hair still damp, towel wrapped around his waist.
“I can get used to this,” Nate said closing the space between them.
Brian kissed his nose. "I hope so. I’ve never had a real relationship before, but I want to—with you.”
“Hey.” Nate responded to the clouds he saw building up in Brian's eyes. “We will take this as slowly as you need. Together, ok?”
At Brian's nod, he gave him a kiss which was meant to be reassuring, but ended up being so much more.
"Come on, finish getting dressed or we will be late for dinner.”
“We can skip it!” Brian called, but Nate was already out of the room, chuckling.
Walking openly hand in hand was a new experience for Brian, but he was feeling extraordinarily at ease. Walking side by side, he matched his steps to Nate's. Nate's shoulder would bump his, or his hand would glide down his back as they navigated the sidewalk and other people. He was only a couple of inches shorter than Nate and he loved the heady excitement he felt when the taller man leaned down and into him, to hear what he was saying or whisper into his ear.
They rounded the corner, and Brian suddenly stopped short.
“What now?” Nate asked jokingly. Even in the poorly lit street, he could see the paleness and shock in Brian's face. “Bri?”
Brian tried to answer but it sounded like a gurgle.
“Babe, tell me what’s wrong?” Nate pleaded.
Noting that Brian was staring, he followed his gaze and saw what he thought might have caused Brian's shock.
Laughingly he said, “Shit, Carl Runyan’s gay?” He shook his head in disbelief. “Wait, isn't he married?”
“He is,” Brian whispered.
Nate turned to look back at their boss who was now unfolding out of the embrace of another very well–dressed, older gentleman. The look on the other man’s face could only be described as euphoric. If there was any doubt that they were indeed lovers, it was erased when they engaged in a kiss, which spoke volumes. Clearly, Carl Runyan and this man were much more, and Nate felt like he was intruding.
“I don't think we should be caught staring.” He tried to steer Brian away, but he remained rooted to the spot.
“Bri, let's go. I don't think Runyan will appreciate us spying on him.”
“No!” Brian shouted and took a step forward.
Nate managed to grab his arm, and he tried to turn back a trembling Brian, not sure what a confrontation might bring or if it was appropriate right then.
Too late, as the other man noticed and hastily pushed Carl away. Brian hurriedly walked toward him.
"Hi, Dad.”
"Dad…?” Nate questioned. “Fuck!” Realization dawned, and he understood fully the shocked-pained look on Brian's face.
“Thought you were golfing, Dad,” Brian calmly said. “At least that's what Mom said. Is this what happens every time you say that?”
Brian suddenly took a hasty step back as if he'd been hit. “Oh, my God! Every time. How long, Dad?” He looked between his father and boss for an answer.
Defeated, his father regarded Carl, and flinched when Brian hissed "How long" again.
Closing his eyes briefly, he answered. “Carl and I … we lost touch for a while and then reconnected several years ago.” Harvey spread his hands as if that would explain it all.
Not the answer Brian was expecting or wanting to hear.
Carl shifted uncomfortably beside them, but he reached to squeeze Brian's father's arm in comfort? Encouragement? The movement filled Brian with rage.
“You've been together several years? How? You? The hater of gay people! Not to mention you're both married, to women! What about Mom; does she know?” Brian asked of his father. “What about Kurt and me? Why would you lecture us and torture us about 'weakness' when all the time it's you who've been the fucking coward?"
“Son, Carl and I, we tried. We tried to stay away from each other, but we couldn’t. Your grandfather… well, Carl is the reason he disowned me. This wasn't how I wanted … we wanted anyone to find out. If ... if you give us a chance to explain, just not out here. I—”
“After all this time I doubt you wanted to be found out at all.” He turned to Carl. “I trusted you. I told you things about my relationship with Dad and you advised me. And the whole time, the whole time you were sleeping with him?!”
"Brian, I want to explain. Come into the car, please.” Harvey reached out to touch his son.
Brian felt bile rising in his throat. “You made our lives hell; I gave up so much to please you, you bastard! Stay the fuck away from me!” He stumbled backward into the wall.
He forgot about Nate until he retched against the building, heard his voice soothing him, and felt his hands rubbing his back.
Nathaniel … Nate … was here with him. Swiping his hand across his mouth he looked up, desperation in his eyes, and pleaded, “Take me home.”
The next thing he remembered was leaning into Nate as he promised that it would all be okay. He could not erase the sight of his father in Carl's arms. He had no idea how he would deal with being blindsided by the knowledge of his father's other life. All he felt now was betrayed, but he had Nate. Brian hoped it would really be okay—no, with Nate beside him he hoped it would. He pulled Nate’s arms tighter around him, wanting to hold him as close as he could and for as long as he could.
This story would not have been at all possible if it were not for the help, patience and guidance of Mikiesboy and AC Benus. They have my endless thanks, gratitude and apprecciation..
Please leave a review and let me know what you think..
Thank you for reading....
Please leave a review and let me know what you think..
Thank you for reading....
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Stories posted in this category are works of fiction. Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are created by the authors' imaginations or are used fictitiously. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you.
2016 - Fall - Blindsided / The Forgotten Entry
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you.
2016 - Fall - Blindsided / The Forgotten Entry
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