An Advent Calendar - 18. Door#18 - My First Year Without Santa

My family has a pattern of waiting to get married in their 30s. My grandparents lived in Chicago while we always live on the Pacific Coast. So, although we have a picture of my paternal grandmother holding my oldest nephew (and there have to be several with my maternal grandmother), we didn't have a tradition of celebrating the holidays with our grandparents.

My own parent never made a big production out of Christmas – either with us or my nieces and nephews. When we were little, our gifts from my parents were signed from Santa and my mother put together Christmas Stockings. The Stockings included socks, candy, and little treats like pens and unusual office supplies – an odd mix of practical and fun.

My grandmothers and aunts always sent us gifts, often signed in our cousins' names (my grandmothers were widowed in the '60s and I had unmarried aunts, but no unmarried uncles and we all know who did the shopping!). We were poor, so some of our nicest gifts came from relatives. I kind of think that my parents may have gotten money from relatives to supplement their budget for our gifts too.

Christmas was a joyful time when I was growing up, but lost much of its magic as we grew older. The pattern repeated with nieces and nephews. The cycle might be returning now that I have two very young grand-nieces… ;-)

Christmas Eve was celebrated at my maternal grandparents, later an aunt's then a cousins before ending about nine years ago. We ate a cold buffet of ham, roast beef and assorted accompaniments before opening gifts. Christmas Day started at our with my parents and sister. We opened stockings first. They contained anything from candy and fruit to small books and fun practical gifts ie my first colonge as a young teen. Breakfast followed. Usually english muffins, orange juice and hot chocolate. Then we opened presents. At noon we were expected at my paternal grandparents for the full spread of roast turkey, scalloped oysters, etc. That left us with burstings tummies before gathering by the fire to open a few small gifts. My grandparents, sister, step-dad and a few uncles are gone. Mum and I will celebrate together this year and join some of her neighbors at a nearby German gast haus for snitzel and spaetzelle ...

The bittersweet experience of celebrating with people missing. Missing for good. With plenty of fond memories I believe it's at least a tiny bit easier to focus on the good times instead of the sorrow. It will always be there, though.

This was a beautiful Christmas memory. I think, though, that Uncle Howard would have loved if the Santa tradition continued.

Ever since I was little girl in elementary school, I always wanted to celebrate Christmas. All my friends celebrated Christmas. I think there were only three or four Jewish kids in the school system, and the other two were twins! And to this day, I'm still in contact with Darlene, the girl twin. I actually visited her and her family this past summer.

But, I digress, Christmas trees and Christmas lights have always been things I wanted as a child. I was thrilled one year when one of my best friends (this was in middle school) asked me to help her family decorate the tree.

So, I have fond memories of other people's Christmases!

I'm pretty sure Cole wrote this, why do I think so ? cause I am crying I might write something in the Advent calendar thread to explaine why I cry but not right now..
Lovely memory you share with us, thank you

This story makes me sad we ever have to lose people like Howard, but I guess it's a reminder to be 'Santa' for the young ones coming up today.

Thanks for posting this.

On 12/18/2016 07:51 PM, droughtquake said:

My family has a pattern of waiting to get married in their 30s. My grandparents lived in Chicago while we always live on the Pacific Coast. So, although we have a picture of my paternal grandmother holding my oldest nephew (and there have to be several with my maternal grandmother), we didn't have a tradition of celebrating the holidays with our grandparents.

 

My own parent never made a big production out of Christmas – either with us or my nieces and nephews. When we were little, our gifts from my parents were signed from Santa and my mother put together Christmas Stockings. The Stockings included socks, candy, and little treats like pens and unusual office supplies – an odd mix of practical and fun.

 

My grandmothers and aunts always sent us gifts, often signed in our cousins' names (my grandmothers were widowed in the '60s and I had unmarried aunts, but no unmarried uncles and we all know who did the shopping!). We were poor, so some of our nicest gifts came from relatives. I kind of think that my parents may have gotten money from relatives to supplement their budget for our gifts too.

 

Christmas was a joyful time when I was growing up, but lost much of its magic as we grew older. The pattern repeated with nieces and nephews. The cycle might be returning now that I have two very young grand-nieces… ;-)

Cole: I love your sharing with us the memory of your own Christmases. You parents must have tried very hard to make things nice for you without making a production of it. Your family must have cared a great deal to help so much. What lovely thoughts and remembrances of the past. It probably makes your efforts for your grandnieces all the more special. Thank you so much!!!

On 12/18/2016 11:43 PM, dughlas said:

Christmas Eve was celebrated at my maternal grandparents, later an aunt's then a cousins before ending about nine years ago. We ate a cold buffet of ham, roast beef and assorted accompaniments before opening gifts. Christmas Day started at our with my parents and sister. We opened stockings first. They contained anything from candy and fruit to small books and fun practical gifts ie my first colonge as a young teen. Breakfast followed. Usually english muffins, orange juice and hot chocolate. Then we opened presents. At noon we were expected at my paternal grandparents for the full spread of roast turkey, scalloped oysters, etc. That left us with burstings tummies before gathering by the fire to open a few small gifts. My grandparents, sister, step-dad and a few uncles are gone. Mum and I will celebrate together this year and join some of her neighbors at a nearby German gast haus for snitzel and spaetzelle ...

Cole: Your Christmas memories sound delicious! Scalloped oysters are wonderful and your thoughts made me hungry! I’m so pleased my memory conjured up your own experiences. Thanks for such a warm and thoughtful review.

On 12/19/2016 01:50 AM, Puppilull said:

The bittersweet experience of celebrating with people missing. Missing for good. With plenty of fond memories I believe it's at least a tiny bit easier to focus on the good times instead of the sorrow. It will always be there, though.

Cole: Christmas is a time for remembrance and celebration of life. As you said, memories of the good times carry us through the long dark nights. Thanks for such an interesting review.

On 12/19/2016 04:45 AM, Lisa said:

This was a beautiful Christmas memory. I think, though, that Uncle Howard would have loved if the Santa tradition continued.

 

Ever since I was little girl in elementary school, I always wanted to celebrate Christmas. All my friends celebrated Christmas. I think there were only three or four Jewish kids in the school system, and the other two were twins! And to this day, I'm still in contact with Darlene, the girl twin. I actually visited her and her family this past summer.

 

But, I digress, Christmas trees and Christmas lights have always been things I wanted as a child. I was thrilled one year when one of my best friends (this was in middle school) asked me to help her family decorate the tree.

 

So, I have fond memories of other people's Christmases!

Cole: I’m glad you can enjoy Christmas without it being part of you. Thanks for the memories of how it has meaning even without being one of your traditions. Thanks for the wonderful review and sharing your feelings.

On 12/19/2016 08:04 AM, Slytherin said:

I'm pretty sure Cole wrote this, why do I think so ? cause I am crying I might write something in the Advent calendar thread to explaine why I cry but not right now..

Lovely memory you share with us, thank you

Cole: Oh, I didn’t mean to make you cry, though I do when I read it. It’s something I wrote some time ago after he died. I wanted to share it with you all so you get how much he touched my life. We weren’t exactly close, but his presence was so important to me. Thanks for such a heartfelt review.

On 12/22/2016 12:39 PM, AC Benus said:

This story makes me sad we ever have to lose people like Howard, but I guess it's a reminder to be 'Santa' for the young ones coming up today.

 

Thanks for posting this.

Cole: You’re right. This is a tale about how important the little things can be to our lives. The memories Howard implanted in me live on even now. The smallest actions can make some of the biggest difference in our lives. Thanks for a thoughtful review!!!