Everything Changes - 4. It's Alright To Cry

Everything Changes

Chapter 4 – It’s Alright To Cry

Friday night Brendan's cell phone began to ring, "Hey Dad."

"Brendan, you guys need to pack up your stuff as quick as you can. I will be there in a half hour or less."

"But I thought you weren't coming to get us until Sunday?"

"Brendan your Mom went to pick up Joey and Alex, and a drunk driver ran a red-light and hit your mom's car."

"Is Mom okay?"

"Brendan, your mom was killed. But Joey and Alex were with her...."

Brendan dropped his phone, almost in a catatonic state.

"Uncle Aaron?" Cam asked.

"Yes Cam, is Brendan okay?"

"I don’t think so, it is like he is awake but he is not here. What is going on?"

"Cam.... Mary, Alex, and Joey were in a bad accident. Mary was killed, Alex and Joey were both flown by Medivac to Children's Hospital. As soon as I get you guys we are going straight to the hospital. So please make sure you are both ready to go in a little while."

Cam sighed, "Okay now I know why Brendan is just standing here lost, I am going to pack our stuff up real fast, be careful Uncle Aaron we need and love you!"

"I love you guys too Cam, I will see you in a bit."

"Okay, bye."

Aaron sat in his truck, lost in thought. Was Alex going to be okay? How was he going to be at single parenting?

Mary dying, left a huge whole in Aaron's life. Aaron had a single mission at this point in his life and that was to be strong for his kids. Alex was in the hospital fighting for his life, Aaron was determined to be the rock for his sons.

Cam ran to the bedroom and quickly stuffed their belongings in their backpacks, returning to the living room to find Brendan standing in the same spot.

Cam wrapped his arms lovingly around Brendan, "Brendan, now and forever, right?"

"Huh?" Brendan snapped back.

Brendan trembled in Cam's arms, while Cam continued trying to soothingly rub Brendan's back.

"Your Dad will be here in a few minutes Brendan, we are going straight to the hospital for Alex and Joey."

"What are you talking about?"

"Brendan, they were with your Mom."

"Cam quit it, they couldn't have been with my Mom." Brendan cried hysterically.

Aaron walked in the cabin and grabbed both boys in a hug and said, "Guys we need to get to the hospital fast last I heard they were rushing Alex into surgery. I haven't heard anything about how Joey is doing."

Cam grabbed their packs and Brendan's hand saying, "Remember now and forever."

They all ran and jumped into Aaron's Police SUV, and Max gave both boys a thorough bath with kisses.

Aaron drove hastily ignoring most speed limits with his flashing red and blue lights going.

"Boys, Alex is going to be pretty banged and up and doesn't know about your Mom, so let me break the news when the time is right." Aaron sighed, leading the way into the hospital.

Aaron stopped at information to inquire how to find Alex. The reception desk volunteer directed them to surgical waiting area in wing 4C.

Aaron stopped and asked a nurse, "Is there any word on my son's condition? I am Alex Hawke's father, he was brought in from a car accident...."

"Sir I have no news on his condition as of yet, I recommend that you three have a seat in the waiting room and the surgeon will speak to you as soon as he has anything to update."

Brendan was pacing back and forth…. Back and forth….

“Brendan, we are all worried about Alex, but making yourself sick worrying isn’t going to help him.” Cam stated lovingly.

“I can’t help it though, what if god doesn’t answer my prayers for Alex to be okay? My Mom is gone, just like your parents…. I can’t lose Alex, why would god be fucking mean to take my MOM, and do this to Alex and Joey….”

“Dad have you seen Joey’s mom or dad?”

“Come to think of it no I haven’t…. Hmmm, Maybe I should call Harry’s cell phone to find out where they are. Boys I am going to step outside for a few minutes to call and check up on Joey and his parents. If the doctor comes out text me right away.”

“Okay Dad.”

Aaron swayed through the hall running his hand through his hair as he reached the door to the hospital. Pausing in his thoughts, praying for a small miracle to save his son. Aaron felt so totally helpless, and powerless.

Dialing his phone. “Hi, uh Harry where are you and Estelle? I thought you would be waiting in the same area we are for word about Alex.”

“Aaron, Joey passed away in surgery. The doctor's said, “The trauma to his brain caused massive bleeding and swelling in his brain.” I can’t believe he is gone, I am so used to him and Alex rough housing around in this house I don’t know what we will do…. How is Alex?”

Aaron scratched his chin, then looked at his watch. “Honestly, we don’t really know. He has been in surgery for close to eight hours now is my best guess, time just seems like it is standing still. Brendan and Cam…. Well they are trying really hard to hold it together, and Mary… Oh my god, what am I going to do without Mary? I mean how do I…. How am I to raise three teenage boys by myself?”

Harry sighed as a tear trickled down his cheek feeling his own pain. “Aaron, our families all lost a major piece of itself tonight. I think this is going to take a long time for any of us to get over. “Estelle quit worrying about calling people, after I am done with Aaron I will call our parents.” “Aaron keep us updated on Alex, he is like part of our family.”

“Harry, we all loved Joey, tell Estelle I am praying for you guys. You both have my families deepest of sympathy. Goodbye….”

“Bye Aaron.”

Aaron’s phone vibrated, indicating a text message.

Dad surgeon just came out, asked for you to come to conference room off of waiting room.

Brendan

Aaron hustled back into the hospital to the little conference room, which had a team of doctors packed inside of it.

“Mister Hawke, I am Doctor Weinstien, I am Alex’s Neuro Surgeon. Alex suffered some very major injuries. Two were what we consider life threatening, first off Alex has suffered a brain bleed and swelling caused by the severe impact of the car accident. Secondly, he had a lacerated kidney. Those are the life-threatening injuries. The last injury is the one that if he makes it through the next twenty-four to forty eight hours I am optimistic he can recover from, he suffered a broken back. Now the brain bleed and swelling I have drilled holes into the cranium to help relieve pressure and I inserted a monitor into a bur hole to monitor the pressure on his brain, as far as his faculties we will have to wait and see, as he is in a medically induced coma. The kidney was removed by Doctor Phillipe Jesus, which he can confirm is now no longer life threatening as we proceed. Alex actually an L4 and L5 fracture of the back which didn’t encroach on the spinal cord, I stabilized it with plates and screws. If he makes it through the next few days, we will discuss where we go at that point. I understand you also lost your wife in the accident, would you like me to have the chaplain come and counsel your family? Also, do you have any questions? I have thrown a lot at you right now, I can answer questions at any point.”

Aaron sat there fidgeting with his hands, trying to calm his thoughts.

“Doctor Weinstien, in all honesty what are Alex’s chances? I have my two other boys sitting right out there in that waiting room. What do I tell them?” Aaron pointedly asked.

“In all honesty forty to sixty percent chance of survival, everything is hanging in the balance with his head injury. If he wasn’t such a young and healthy kid, I would say his chances were a little better than grim. But let's have faith in him, and let the healing process begin.”

“Okay, when can we see him?”

“It will be about another hour before he is transferred to the intensive care unit from recovery. I will have a nurse come get you once he is done, and I assume your other sons will want to see him too. Just try to stay positive and talk to him once you are able to see him. I believe even in a drug induced coma, the patients are able to hear their loved ones. Remember love can do miraculous things.”

At that point Doctor Weinstien shook Aaron’s hand and left the room.

Aaron wiped his eyes, remembering holding Alex after his birth at Mary’s beside. Both Mary and Aaron were so filled with pride and joy at becoming parents to Alex. Today things have changed forever, and Aaron was now a single parent.

Entering the waiting room, Aaron sat down beside Brendan.

Cam gently squeezed Brendan’s hand. “Now and forever, I love you.”

Brendan and Cam both said silent prayers for both Alex and Joey, not knowing their fate.

Aaron sat quietly for a while deep in reconciliation of today's events. He sat stoically with a few tears slipping past his tough shell of defenses that being a police officer had given him over the years.

Aaron eventually cleared his throat, and wiped his eyes. "Boys I spoke with Joey's parents while I was outside. Joey had a severe head injury, they tried everything they could to help him but they just couldn't save him."

Brendan and Cam clung to one another for support and comfort, while Aaron continued to be the protector of his children.

Knowing how all the boys grew up together and things would never be the same. Aaron also gave the boys brief descriptions of Alex’s injuries, omitting his chances of survival.

A young nurse approached them at that point. “Mister Hawke would you like to see Alex now?”

“Yes please, this has been a horrific nightmare of a day for all of us.”

“Follow me please, I have to advise you there are a lot of tubes, wires, and machines connected to Alex. You can hold his hand and talk to him. I believe love can heal all wounds, by the way I am Shelly. I will be Alex’s nurse and care management coordinator while he is in the ICU. If you need anything, you find me ok guys?”

They all nodded affirmatively as they reached Alex’s room.

Aaron walked around the bed to Alex’s left side. Bend down stroking Alex’s hand. A sob escaped as Aaron looked at Alex and all the tubes and wires connected to him.

Cam walked up to the bed, as a tear escaped he said, “Alex you have to get better man, I need my new big brother I haven’t even got to thank you for what you did. I can’t lose you too Alex.”

Cam turned and ran from the room crying.

Aaron stood up and said, “Brendan stay with your brother, you guys are my life. I need to talk with Cameron, and make sure he is alright. I am not sure he can handle all of this.”

“Okay Dad, tell Cam now and forever for me.”

Brendan approached the bed, caressing his brother's cheek, before he grabbed his hand.

“Alex, you were right going to camp helped me get through to Cam. I love him Alex.”

“I really wish I could hug you right now.”

“Alex,” sobbed Brendan. “You can’t leave bro, you gotta fight man. You are the best brother a guy could ask for. I love you Alex, don’t go okay?”

Cam somehow found strength in himself as he was running the halls of the hospital and returned to the door of Alex's cubicle in ICU. Leaning on the doorframe observing Alex and Brendan, he realized just how lucky he was to have Aaron, Brendan, and Alex in his life.

Brendan sat in the chair beside the bed leaning over holding Alex’s hand, while resting his head on both of their hands. Tears were cascading from Brendan’s eyes.

Brendan held Alex’s hand while he quietly sang a verse of Diamond Rio’s song One More Day.

Brendan hoped that Alex had heard the message in it. Which all he wished for was one more day with him, and to see him smile….

Cam pushed off the doorframe, and methodically made his way to Brendan. Wrapping him in massive hug, and gentle kiss.

"Brendan, Alex is going to be okay, I can't tell you how or why I think this. But you gotta believe me, he wouldn't leave us."

The monitors started beeping a bit more erratically, and Brendan felt Alex's fingers tighten its grasp on his hand. It was almost like a message from Alex.

"Cam, Cam did you see that?"

The nurses rushed in, checking Alex's machines and reset the alarms. Once they were sure everything was within normal parameters, the staff left the room.

"Cam?"

"Huh?" Stammered Cam.

"Are you okay?"

Tears were trickling down Cam's face as he said, "I don't know how any god could do such horrible shit to people. I lost my Mom, and then my Dad which was so fucking horrible. Now you lose your Mom, and Alex is laying here fighting to stay with us. We just gotta believe in him Brendan, I know Alex won't leave us...."

Aaron returned to the room, wiping his eyes.

Entering the room, Aaron made his way to where he was standing behind Brendan and Cam, engulfing them all in a hug hoping it would give the three of them the strength to see this nightmare through to the end.

After the hug, Aaron made his way to a chair by the window looking out at the gloomy sky which appeared to feel the same despair his heart did, as the skies cut loose with rain.

“My Grandmother used to tell me when it was raining, the angels were crying because they felt pain for humans. I know your Mom is one of those angels Brendan. So are Cam’s parents and Joey.” Aaron rubbed his eyes to hide his tears. “They are gonna help Alex, they just have to….” Aaron finally broke down and started crying uncontrollably.

Wrapping himself around his dad, Brendan said, “Dad I think Alex heard me talking to him earlier when I held his hand talking to him. He squeezed my hand Dad, I believe he is trying to fight to be with us.”

“Alex and you were always so close, it was like you boys felt and knew what each other were going through. I have prayed every time I get a chance to think straight, that god heals Alex so he can stay with us. I am sure, if your Mom had a choice she would sacrifice her life for any of you boys to live the same as I would.”

“Boys it is getting late, if you want I can take you both home…. But I can’t leave Alex here by himself.”

Brendan grabbed Cam’s hand and tugged him toward a chair in the corner.

“Dad we aren’t leaving Alex, unless they throw us out.” Cam nodded in agreement.

The night came and went, with Aaron and the boys having a restless sleep.

Around mid-morning Aaron and the boys were awakened by the talking of Alex’s doctors.

Aaron leapt from the chair to here an update on Alex.

“Mister Hawke, I don’t know if you remember me but I am Dr. Weinstien. Alex’s pressure in his brain seems to be stabilizing, we hope over the next twenty-four hours he will continue on the same path at which time we will most likely try to reverse the medications and start waking him up. If I may suggest, why don’t you and the boys go home and freshen up and come back later. I have left orders for Shelly to tell all nurses on staff there are no restrictions for your family at being with Alex.”

“Thank you doctor, I do need to go home to check on Max and get the boys something to eat. If anything changes, will somebody call me?”

“Of course, Shelly will be here until 11 pm tonight, but your information is on his chart for any staff to contact you. Alex is in good hands, trust me I wouldn’t take my children anywhere else if I were in your situation.”

“Okay we will be back later then.”

“Brendan… Cam…. We are going home for a while. Say goodbye to Alex.”

Cam walked up beside Alex’s bed, and stroked Alex’s hand. “We are going home for a while, you keep getting better.”

Cam stepped back as Brendan walked up and kissed Alex’s hand. “Bro, you keep fighting for us. I love you.”

Cam grabbed Brendan and pulled him into a hug. Both boys slowly made their way towards the door to wait for Aaron.

Aaron knelt down by Alex’s bed. “Alex listen to me son, I love you more than you could ever believe or know. I know your Mom is watching over you, but you keep fighting to get better. We will be back after while son.” Aaron bent in to kiss Alex’s forehead where it wasn’t bandaged.

Aaron headed towards the door. “Let’s go boys.”