Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you.
Poem Collection - MythOfHappiness - 14. Too Old
Too old for me,
You say
As I smile and give you the look
Too old
You think as I taste your lips
Too distant
I say, pulling back
Too far away
The gap I’ve made
Stretches for miles
I’m over here,
And you’re there
With the rest of them
And I don’t know how to build
A bridge across
You think it’s you
I know it’s not
Too old you say,
As I kiss your neck
From the wrong side of the bottomless pit
I taste your skin,
The salt and sweet of it
Burning my tongue
And I think about something,
Anything else
I bend down, undoing your belt
You growl, your hesitance
Melting away with each wild second
And I watch it all from the other side
Knowing what I’m doing, but not knowing how to stop
I know I’ll hurt you.
I can see it.
I know you’ll try and hurt me
I know you’ll fail
And I know that’ll hurt the worst
I know all this
And I fucking hate it.
Why can’t I be someone else?
Why can’t love be more than a word
Used to sell songs?
You gasp. I feel it in my chest.
Your eyes. I can’t look away from your eyes.
We’re so close, physically.
But I stay back.
I can’t be hurt, and that’s the fucking worst.
You collapse on me,
With an intake of breath,
Sucking it straight out of my lungs.
And you moan, low and long.
I let go and you fall back.
My dispassion disgusts me.
But it does not surprise me.
What surprises me,
Is the wanting to feel
The wanting and the ache.
You lay there, exhausted
And I roll onto you,
My head on your stomach.
I want to feel
For the first time in my life
I want to connect.
I just… can’t.
I don’t know how anymore.
I’ve turned it off for so long
That I’ve forgotten
“Still too old?”
I ask, and it’s so empty
You smile at me
“Yes. I am”
And I smile back across the gap.
- 5
- 1
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you.
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